LoL champions on Earth

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Warlordsh

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Senior Member

11-13-2011

this is awesome yo keep it going


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ultradash1

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Senior Member

11-13-2011

Quote:
Originally Posted by leirynot View Post
but gragas and jax are drinking buddies, singed is just gragas' business partner, or you could have all three. and how do you not see psychopath in her portrayal, she's threatening to kill kids, singing about an apocalyptic pony, and saying stuff like "Crush your enemy's spirit and make them do anything for you, to serve you and be obedient, under the designer-heels of your law." Pretty psychotic if you ask me.. but anyway, POST MOAR!!!!!
dat picture, epic

edit, mind if i use it?


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Ancientwonde

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Member

11-13-2011

It is now required for every post to contain that picture in it.

+1 to you sir


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belthazor3457

Senior Member

11-14-2011

Quote:
Originally Posted by leirynot View Post
but gragas and jax are drinking buddies, singed is just gragas' business partner, or you could have all three. and how do you not see psychopath in her portrayal, she's threatening to kill kids, singing about an apocalyptic pony, and saying stuff like "Crush your enemy's spirit and make them do anything for you, to serve you and be obedient, under the designer-heels of your law." Pretty psychotic if you ask me.. but anyway, POST MOAR!!!!!
Well, you made a thumbnail, I suppose you deserve it. Also, if you think Kayle's acting psychotic... consider what she was doing with her morning right before she went to work and what kind of mood she might be in >.>



<Part 9, part 8 is the 4th post down on page 9>


Hello everyone! I am your overly-cheery narrator. In the past 14 minutes, what have our heroes been up to? Well, Morgana decided to make everyone breakfast, Belthazor decided that he was quite sore and is sitting in bed reading, Vladimir is watching television, and Katarina is "helping" Morgana in the kitchen.



<9:05 AM, Living room>

TV: This is THE. WORST. POSSIBLE. THING!

Vladimir: Hehehe. Rarity.


<9:06 AM, Kitchen>

Morgana: Hand me that - wait, are you licking the spoon and bowl?

Katarina: What?

Morgana: I never let Vladimir have the bowl and spoon.

Katarina: Well, I have to test it to make sure it tastes right, right?

Morgana: ...MINE.

Katarina: Since when were brownies part of a well-balanced breakfast anyway?

Morgana: Since I started cooking for you.

Katarina: <hides the spoon behind her back>

Morgana: I'd throw an energy ball at you if you were not standing infront of -

<Vladimir walks into the kitchen>

Vladimir: Smells good, what's -

<Morgana tosses a black energy ball at Katarina, which she dodges, and the energy ball slams into Vladimir>

Vladimir: WHYYY?!

Morgana: You're infront of Bel's vase.

Vladimir: HOW IS THAT A REASON?!

Katarina: <laughing>

Vladimir: THAT HURTS!

Morgana: Yes, that's the point.

Belthazor: <Yelling from the bedroom> Is everything okay out there?

Morgana: Yes!

Vladimir: NO!

Katarina: <laughing>

Belthazor: <yelling> There's some more blood packs in the fridge.

<Belthazor closes the bedroom door>

<Vladimir immediately takes some of the aforementioned packs out of the refrigerator and begins draining them, healing himself>

Vladimir: WHAT WAS THAT FOR?

Katarina: You're a good pincushion.

Morgana: And you're a good sport.

Vladimir: WHY though?

Morgana: I wanted to throw one at Kat, but I didn't want to blow a hole through Bel's wall.

Vladimir: So you used ME?

Morgana: ...yes?

Vladimir: Couldn't you have just... not thrown an energy ball?

Morgana: Why would I do that when you were standing conveniently right there?

Vladimir: ...I AM IN PAIN.

<Katarina discreetly picks up one of the kitchen knives>

Vladimir: I saw that. Don't even think about it.

Katarina: Aww, spoil sport.

Vladimir: Go harass Belthazor.

Katarina: Fine!


<9:09 AM, Bel and Kat's bedroom>


<Belthazor is peacefully reading a book while sitting in bed, partially covered by blankets, leaning back on a couple of stacked pillows>

<Katarina opens the door, closes it behind her, then hops up on the bed>

Katarina: What are you reading?

Belthazor: the art of war by Sun Tzu.

Katarina: Funny name. I assume that person is important in society here?

Belthazor: Well, if you're into that sort of thing.

Katarina: What sort of thing?

Belthazor: Reading old books.

Katarina: I've already gone through over half of the medical books you had translated for me.

Belthazor: That was quick. I should probably get you a few more.

Katarina: Yes. You know what happens when I'm left bored.

Belthazor: Yeesh, don't remind me about the poodle incident. J's still upset about his poodle.

Katarina: Besides, half of your neighbors have it coming.

Belthazor: Well, I can't argue with that, but do you actually remember which ones are which?

Katarina: We can talk details later - now, what are you reading. "The art of war"? Sounds interesting. Tell me about it.

Belthazor: Well, it's one of my favorite books, and it was written by a general many years ago. It was written to guide leaders in wartime, but I find it also applies a bit to everyday life.

<Katarina lays down on the bed on her tummy, pops her head up with her arm, and stares at Belthazor while kicking her heels up and down>

Katarina: You know, your society seems to have a lot of history on the topic. Funny story, Morgana says you're the one who introduced her to all that here.

Belthazor: That's true.

Katarina: So, why didn't you tell me about that?

Belthazor: You never asked.

Katarina: Mmmmm, well, I'm asking now. Tell me.

Belthazor: Where do you want to start?

Katarina: Anywhere. Howabout your home nation?

Belthazor: Well... there's a lot you can learn from old books.

Katarina: Read it to me.


<Bel spends the next while reading passages from the art of war to Kat>


<9:32 AM, Bedroom>

Belthazor: I'm a little bit sleepy.

Katarina: You can't take a nap! You need to finish reading that book to me.

Belthazor: Y'know, if I had actually been able to sleep much last night, I might be a bit less tired now.

Katarina: Morgana already rubbed that in earlier, you don't have to. I already feel guilty.

Belthazor: How thoughtful of her! I should ask her to make frosted cookies that are red and say "Get well soon".

<she bonks him on the head with a pillow>

Katarina: Hush!

Belthazor: Haha. There's plenty of information on my world's history in terms of warfare and empires, if you'd like me to get some translated for you.

Katarina: I would like that.

Belthazor: Alright. After breakfast though. Morgana should be done about now anyway. That and I need to run some errands.

Katarina: Fine. Later, though, I want you to read that one to me.


<9:34 AM, Living room - everyone's at the table, having breakfast - Morgana made brownies with chocolate fudge and chips in them>


Vladimir: So where did we leave off in the movies?

Morgana: we left off right before the end of "Empire strikes back".

<Belthazor nods>

Vladimir: Om, nom nom nom nom brownies!

Katarina: Om, nom nom nom nom babies!

Morgana: Hmm?

Katarina: Oh, Bel showed me something on the internet the other day.

Belthazor: When's a good time to watch the rest of the trilogy?

Morgana: Well, what's your schedule look like today?

Belthazor: My plan for today consists of going to run errands and trying to stop Kat from stabbing anyone. Also at some point I'd like to take a shower because there's blood drying on my skin.

Katarina: <smiling> I can behave if I feel like it. I just normally don't. Maybe if you're real nice to me, no one at the mall will get hurt.

Belthazor: You're going to milk your diplomatic immunity for all it's worth, arn't you?

Katarina: Of course.

Belthazor: I know you -can- behave, though I'm still convinced that the reason you didn't run into anyone driving my Volvo yesterday was due to some sort of black magic.

Morgana: No black magic involved with your Volvo, trust me. On that note, if you're going to let her drive -

Belthazor: Before you ask, to get your permit you have to pass a test. Like, an actual paper test.

Morgana: So if I score low, I'll trap the soul of whoever is grading it until they decide to behave like a gentleman and treat me like a lady.

Belthazor: What if the person grading it is female?

Morgana: Then we'll find someone else to grade it. I want a permit.

Belthazor: Vlad... what happened to your car last time?

Vladimir: Well -

Morgana: It's very important to your future that you do not answer that question.

Belthazor: Maybe we should also watch the Jurrasic park movies at some point. Or Indiana Jones. You'd like Indiana Jones, Kat.

Morgana: But not the fourth one. We're not watching that. I have a rule on that just like I do with the star wars prequels.



<30 minutes later, the couples have finished breakfast, hopped into Belthazor's Volvo, and gone off to the mall. It was decided that they may as well all go at the same time, since apparently Morgana had a desire to make Vladimir buy her jewelry, and she needed to browse for a new oven anyway. Meanwhile, Katarina is following Belthazor around while he does his errands, and is flipping through a small brochure that contains a map of the mall and a list of the stores, looking for anything she might find interesting>



Katarina: Did you know there was a store here that sold guns?

Belthazor: Yes.

Katarina: ...and you didn't tell me?

Belthazor: You never asked. That, and I didn't know you were interested... you do have a preference for more... "hands on" stuff.

Katarina: <grabbing onto his arm> Mmm-hm-hm-hmm! Doesn't mean I don't like variety.

Belthazor: We can go there later so you can window-shop. Good luck getting them to sell you one though.

Katarina: You know I come from a wealthy family.

Belthazor: Money isn't the issue, they do background checks to determine who can be sold weapons.

Katarina: ...well that's odd.

Belthazor: Ah, here we are. Next spot on my list. Will you behave for a minute if I take you to the gun store later?

Katarina: deal.


<Three minutes later>


Katarina: Did they not have what you wanted?

Belthazor: Oh, they had it.

Katarina: You didn't leave the store with anything.

Belthazor: No, I was just paying for something in advance, doing a pre-order.

Katarina: Wait, what?

Belthazor: A video game is coming out at midnight. I pre-ordered it.

Katarina: So let me get this straight... you went into the store, paid them for something, and you're going to come back here to this same store later tonight to pick it up, and take it on faith that they have it?

Belthazor: Yes.

Katarina: Even though they probably have the item you want with them right now?

Belthazor: ...yes.

Katarina: Do you have any idea how silly that sounds?

Belthazor: Well, it's a major release scheduled for a certain time, it's not like the store can sell copies this early.

Katarina: Okay, so why bother pre-ordering? Why not just pick it up tonight?

Belthazor: Normally games offer pre-order bonuses for reserving a copy at certain stores, it's for market competition.

Katarina: Well, if they decide to hold out on you, just tell me - I'll carve out some time for a visit.

Belthazor: I've been to seven midnight releases all from this same store, they won't. Please don't stab the manager.

Katarina: <Innocently> I'm just being protective.

Belthazor: You mean looking for a reason for me to look the other way while you cut on people?

Katarina: I prefer to think of it as me being protective. Maternal instincts and all that.

Belthazor: We don't have kids!

Katarina: And neither of us want kids, still, I get to be protective.

Belthazor: <groan>

Belthazor: ...well I don't see any nearby bodies and didn't hear any screaming, so I suppose I'll take you to the gun shop now.

<2 minutes later>

Belthazor: Here we are. I'm going to run to another store while you browse. I cannot believe I am going to leave you alone in a gun store, but -

Katarina: What's the worst that could happen?

Belthazor: ...

Katarina: Don't look at me like that.

Belthazor: I'll be back in a couple minutes. The store owner is a friend of mine, so do avoid causing trouble, please?

Katarina: *sigh* fine.


<Meanwhile, across the mall, Vladimir and Morgana are in a store for household appliances, one large enough to encompass selections of larger equipment. Vladimir is, under threat of castration, behaving like a "gentleman" and carrying Morgana's purchased items>


Morgana: Hmm. It's about time to get a new oven and new refrigerator. Big choice.

Vladimir: I am -not- carrying one of those.

Morgana: Of course not, according to Bel, the floor models are not for sale. If I purchase one, they'll ship it to me. How could I fit one of these in the car? ...or through the door of this shop, for that matter.

Morgana: There's so many different options.

Store aide: There's also several different warranty options as well.

Morgana: <curious> explain.

Store aide: Well, if it malfunctions or breaks, we cover replacing it, parts and labor with the warranty -

Morgana: If one of your products breaks shortly after me getting it, and I didn't break it, I'll come back into this store and demand a replacement. Why would I pay extra money for that?

Vladimir: Don't you own your own business?

Morgana: It's a matter of principle. You call yourselves civilized, expecting extra money to guarantee nothing "Happens" to the equipment you sell. If this thing breaks, I'll be back here to roast your manager alive.

<Morgana shakes her head>

Store aide: ...I'm sure we can include a full warranty for free for you, miss.

Morgana: That's better. Hmm. I could go for a snack about now. Sunnymuffin, be a dear and bring me something from the pastry shop.

Vladimir: Okay.

<Morgana binds the pile of packages that Vlad was carrying, fully blocking the aisle, to make sure no one messes with it>

Morgana: Now then. Show me to your refrigerators.

Store aide: They're on the other side of that barrier you just made...

Morgana: <Growls>


<two minutes later, in another section of the mall, Vladimir has come across one of those inside-the-mall starbucks>


Barista: Would you like a drink with your muffin, Mister...?

Vladimir: Sunnymuff- Erm, Vlad. Call me Vlad. I'd like a... frappuchino?

Barista: Vinte, tall, or -

Vladimir: What in the world is a vinte?

Barista: Well, it -

Garen: It's the largest size, you'll want that. Tall is actually smaller.

Vladimir: Oh, hello Garen.

Garen: Is your woman here?

Vladimir: <noticing Kayle coming not far behind Garen>

Vladimir: No. She's at home.

Garen: <Whispering> Good. I never told Kayle you're dating her.

Kayle: Oh hey Vladimir, how are you?

Vladimir: I'm fine, just... browsing the store's pastries and seeing if anything's nice.

Kayle: Oh, good. At least you're not getting shipments from Morgana's shop like everyone else from Noxus.

Vladimir: <shifting uncomfortably> so what are you guys doing here?

Garen: We're here for the same thing as you. Kayle wanted to try out a few different shops for snacks to see if we can find a nice regular place. We'll probably be here for a while, trying different stuff on the menu.

Vladimir: Ahh. Well, I need to go, so I'll see you guys later?

Kayle: Or on the field. No hard feelings about the last match?

Vladimir: Of course not! Later guys.


<Meanwhile, across the mall, Katarina has had her attention occupied by descriptions and information on the various weapons, presented to her by the store's manager and has thus far avoided any violence>


Belthazor: I'm back!

Katarina: Your friend here has been quite helpful.

Belthazor: I also didn't hear any alarms.

Katarina: Hush.

Store Manager: She has quite a taste for weapons, you should bring her here more often.

Katarina: I agree, we should come here more often.

Store Manager: She's taken an interest in hunting rifles.

Belthazor: Oh really.. and why is that?

Katarina: I'm interested in obtaining one of these "hunting licenses".

Belthazor: Well, we can talk about that later, after the background checks, and they agree to sell you weapons.

Katarina: You're being oddly supportive.

Belthazor: Leaving you alone in a gun store and not hearing an alarm offers me a sense of calm. Also, I got you something.

Katarina: <curious>

<Belthazor hands her a small box>

Katarina: A locket? It's beautiful.

Belthazor: Glad you like it!

<she puts the locket on>

Katarina: You know what we should do to celebrate? We should go downtown, and -

Belthazor: No homeless people.

Katarina: Okay, howabout a hooker? I'm up for variety.

Belthazor: ...no.

Katarina: You got me jewelry, that means you have to do what I say and what I want for the next 24 hours.

Belthazor: Where did you hear that rule?

Katarina: I observed it. You're going to behave like a gentleman, arn't you? You have to pander to my female desires - and I say we're going to go kill a hooker, or homeless person.

Belthazor: ...

Katarina: Come on, make it special for me! It'll be your first time, and it'll be more special if we do it together.

Belthazor: ...


<Meanwhile, across the mall>


Vladimir: Okay, I got you some of the pastries from the nearest shop.

Morgana: Oh, good! Let's see if I find anything inspiring!

<Morgana grabs one of the pastries, a chocolate croissant, and takes a bite>

Morgana: It's STALE!

<Morgana incinerates the rest of the croissant>

Morgana: We're going to go right down to that shop, and you're going to demand a refund.

Vladimir: ...don't you think you're overreacting?

Morgana: They sold you a STALE pastry! THIS IS HERESY!

Vladimir: It's not that big a deal.

Morgana: Yes it is. Now, we're going to the pastry shop. Now.

Vladimir: This seems like a very small issue, don't we have other stuff to finish here in this store?

Morgana: No, that's done already. I placed the orders.

<Vladimir shifts uncomfortably>


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Jaykoboy

Senior Member

11-14-2011

Ah, yes...the familiar tones of Belthazor's silence whenever Katarina says anything sadistic...which is constantly. Anyways, great job on the most recent post, Belth!


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belthazor3457

Senior Member

11-14-2011

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaykoboy View Post
Ah, yes...the familiar tones of Belthazor's silence whenever Katarina says anything sadistic...which is constantly. Anyways, great job on the most recent post, Belth!
"dot dot dot's" Generally involve nonverbal communication where one gives another a disapproving look, folded arms, etc.


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Anrel

Senior Member

11-14-2011

Quote:
Originally Posted by belthazor3457 View Post
Morgana: They sold you a STALE pastry! THIS IS HERESY!
Not gonna lie, this proper made me laugh


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Jaykoboy

Senior Member

11-14-2011

Quote:
Originally Posted by belthazor3457 View Post
"dot dot dot's" Generally involve nonverbal communication where one gives another a disapproving look, folded arms, etc.
I'm aware of that. I was cracking a joke. Fun fact! Those dots are called 'ellipses.'


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Jaykoboy

Senior Member

11-14-2011

Quick question: I see you refer to a person named 'J' who apparently had his poodle messed up by Kat. You know what my question will be, most likely.


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Vuther

Senior Member

11-14-2011

Vladimir seems...uncomfortable.

I was recently promoted to Captain Obvious, and thus am enjoying the benefits of my new rank.