Wow! This thread escalated rather quickly. I think Time Bandit's done a great job explaining the reasoning behind the items and their non-cohesion with the lore, but I'll add in my two cents here by breaking down my reply into individual responses based on your post, scientious. And before anything, if you'd like someone to play with who can take the time to explain the game and help you along with champion builds and gameplay, please don't hesitate to add me; my in-game name is Cat Eyed Liar. You can add me from the League client by opening the buddy list on the bottom right, and I think on the bottom left, click "Add Friend."
Anyways!
//replying in progress//
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And all this is clearly stated in the New Player Guide (http://gameinfo.na.leagueoflegends.com/en/game-info/get-started/new-player-guide/), right? We both know that it isn't. And, I actually read the page you linked to on Choosing The Right Champion. However, the person who assembled that page concentrated more on style, hyperbole, and graphics than on clear instructions.
This is a constant problem when experienced people attempt to write documentation and then do so in an abbreviated fashion. The "just play it" attitude is fine when you are familiar with the game structure but is not inadequate for new players. You can't "just play" something you don't understand or not familiar with.
You're absolutely right. Even with the Battle Tutorial, it's quite challenging to even attempt to get a handle on 119 champions and dozens of items. People have been talking about adding more infrastructure to the tutorial process (ex. Gating levels by adding requirements to do certain tasks in games, like buying and using at least 5 Sight/Vision wards excluding your personal trinket, etc.) because too many newer players are getting into the higher levels and still struggling to learn what to build, what each champion does, and how gameflow works. I think the Recommended Builds given in the shop for all characters serves as a good starting point, but a lot of knowledge has to be learned through experience or through supplementation from outside sources (guides, Youtube videos and tutorials).
I don't know what the new player experience is like for Demigod and WoW because I've never played them, but just looking around for a few minutes on Demigod, I already see complaints about a lack of a beginner-friendly tutorial for gameplay. These were comments taken from people in 2009 and 2010, so I don't know how much it's improved since then, but from what I can tell, the small range of playable characters (10) means that an in-depth tutorial might not be as necessary as it is for League.
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For example, just trying to pick items to purchase would knock you out of the game for long periods which makes very little sense for a game that runs in real-time. With this attitude you'll end up either buying nothing or randomly buying things and then hoping that they help somehow. Again, I do understand why someone who is already familiar with the game would make an erroneous assumption like this.
As I've mentioned, I think the Recommended builds presented to the player when opening the shop do a pretty decent job of giving the player a build to follow while they familiarize themselves with the admittedly large number of items and build paths. However, I think the large number of items, while cumbersome to remember, gives the player the freedom to explore new item combinations and allows them to adapt to different conditions depending on the composition of the other team. Is the enemy team attack damage heavy? Buy armor. But wait - a Thornmail to reflect damage back to those pesky basic attack damage dealers like Ashe? Or a Randuin's Omen to deal with AD champions that need to be slowed and peeled away when they dive your high-priority teammate?
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In terms of the gameplay, this seems to be correct; there is no obvious distinction to me between ranged and melee. As far as I can tell, all weapons are the same but with varying ranges. Boots are pretty obvious, they make you run faster. However, for multiple types of weapons, you need a different concept. I wouldn't have any trouble thinking these up but I do have a writing background. For example:
Grip of Thunder. When wrapped around the handle or grip of any weapon, it adds a magical punch to the weapon strike.
I also agree that the items sometimes don't make any sense at all (Cassiopeia with Boots? Riot pls), but with a huge champion pool of humanoid and non-humanoid characters, some of which don't use weapons at all, it's quite challenging to design items that can be bought by everyone and still make sense without turning everything into "A magical talisman that grants x stats when adhered to their body."
In the past, when League began with 40 champions, the lore was that they were all summoned to Runeterra from other realms in order to become champions that would battle each other on Summoner's Rift. The League of Legends would serve as the mediator to solve conflicts between the different states of Runeterra. The most notable example was an Ionia vs. Noxus showmatch (
http://leagueoflegends.wikia.com/wiki/Ionia_versus_Noxus:_Rematch) that ended up with the team representing Ionia as the winner, and the story was written so that these "Summoners" were allowed access to the Arcanum Vault in the LoL to choose a new item to be added to the Shop (and this is where the item Ionian Boots of Lucidity came from). Back then, when the Journal of Justice (
http://joj.leagueoflegends.com/) was still being published, Summoners could follow the politics of Runeterra, which would often be used by Riot to set up events like the Ionia vs. Noxus match.
Over time, Riot decided they wanted to focus less on telling the story of Runeterra through the system of the Summoners and the League of Legends, and more on bringing the world of Runeterra to the players by focusing on character-driven lore that would indirectly introduce the world of Runeterra. This has resulted in an ongoing debate about the state of the Summoners and the LoL as an institute of war and a mediator, and whether it even exists anymore (but that's another issue entirely).
For the character-driven lore, though, here's an example: Jinx (
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0nlJuwO0GDs&feature=kp) was released as a psychopathic criminal who wreaks destruction with her rocket launcher Fishbones and minigun Pow-Pow. Her ultimate spell, Super Mega Death Rocket, is a giant global range missile with some hilarious and satisfying sniping potential (
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gvxneq62WEQ). As you can see, Riot has taken care to make her crazy run-around-the-fight gameplay make sense with her lore and her personality.
The Frejlord campaign (
http://promo.leagueoflegends.com/en/freljord/) was also an event that saw the rewriting of many Champions' lores to tie them into the conflict over Frejlord, a frozen wasteland in the northern regions of Runeterra. Most notably, the Summoners and the League of Legends are barely mentioned at all, not even as a mediator for this conflict. I feel like Riot has the right idea with exploring Runeterran lore indirectly via champion lore, but the push away from the Summoners and the Institute of War at the LoL could have been done with more grace. But anyway.
I hope this rather unpleasant new player experience doesn't prevent you from enjoying the game.