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OC Guidelines and Discussion

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Grievous77

Senior Member

06-11-2014

Quote:
AkumaHunter:
For now I wanna stick with working on Cerberus before discussing other OC's (( one thing at a time Grievous ^^ ))

I wanted to ask if you made the OC with intentions of just being a hell hound, or were wanting to make an OC based off of the actual mythological being Cerberus? If it's the first then I can look over the profile for the basic stuff, but if you want it based off the actual creature in myth I can read up on it and see what you can do to make it fit the story.

((Lol I.))

Well sure I had it from there but it's a mix to both. Firstly it's a hellhound that has the key to open the gates of Hell really or mostly guards them but yes. So can we talk about the mythological one in Greek myth where Hades had it watch over the gates. But yeah.


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AkumaHunter

Senior Member

06-11-2014

Quote:
Grievous77:
((Lol I.))

Well sure I had it from there but it's a mix to both. Firstly it's a hellhound that has the key to open the gates of Hell really or mostly guards them but yes. So can we talk about the mythological one in Greek myth where Hades had it watch over the gates. But yeah.


Um... Kay

-Cerberus and his heads are all ONE being, each head is not an individual and not his brothers. This is based from the real lore, so following that you will need to make him one full entity, not three.

-Since League Lore has not expanded on their form of an underworld, it would be better for you to make him a creature of the Shadow Isles and he patrols it’s island to not let in any outsiders. This will keep him from breaking lore, but still follows the myth of Cerberus

-His attack Gates of Hell will need to be abolished. It is Cerberus’s job to not let anything in or OUT of the underworld, as such he would not have an ability where he goes against this fact and lets out any souls from the underworld. It clashes too much.

-For sonic howl, the mention of fire is random. Fire and any sort of Sonic boom (( or anything involving “sonic” things at all )) are not relevant to one another. They are too separate powers.

-Since Cerberus is one entire being the weakness of distracting him and his brothers will need to be taken out.

-Throughout your weaknesses you pretty much give a description that says to dodge his attacks, which isn’t really a weakness. Since he has so much involvement with fire I would suggest making him weak to water and ice, since it is pretty much dubbed as fires natural weakness. Since he is a dog/wolf I would also give him some dog like weaknesses. These would be his sense of smell and hearing, as they would not only be sharp but very sensitive (( especially since he has multiple )). Strong smells, vapors, gases and the like will have great affect on him, along with any extremely loud sounds.

-I would like to note, that even if they are no longer going to be brothers, his middle head cannot be dubbed the oldest as all three heads are attached to one single body, so they all kinda came… together…

-I’m just going to make this apparent. You can’t have fire spit. Say acidic spit instead. And you should use the world saliva, it’ll be taken more seriously that way… don’t say spit.

-The biography will need to be reviewed after these changes as they will have great affect on him. Try to make it fit more to the lore of league, since he should be changed to living in the Shadow Isles instead of any sort of Hell you should look over the other Shadow Isles champions and see how their lore was carried out. There isn't much known about the Shadow Isles so it’s okay to be a bit vague on his existence, but you’ll need to take care of everything else first before this part of his profile is reviewed.

-It would also be in your best interest to take into account the kind of being Cerberus is, along with his purpose in the world, and make sure you give him a personality according to this. He is going to be very serious, very distant, and very intimidating. He won't be someone that is very easy going and nonchalant. I don't want to govern the personality of your character, but I will give you advice and say that you're making a character that is a sentient being and a very dark one at that, he isn't going to act like a teenage boy at any moment no matter his mood or the situation. Just saying ^^


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Grievous77

Senior Member

06-11-2014

Quote:
AkumaHunter:
Um... Kay

-Cerberus and his heads are all ONE being, each head is not an individual and not his brothers. This is based from the real lore, so following that you will need to make him one full entity, not three.

-Since League Lore has not expanded on their form of an underworld, it would be better for you to make him a creature of the Shadow Isles and he patrols it’s island to not let in any outsiders. This will keep him from breaking lore, but still follows the myth of Cerberus

-His attack Gates of Hell will need to be abolished. It is Cerberus’s job to not let anything in or OUT of the underworld, as such he would not have an ability where he goes against this fact and lets out any souls from the underworld. It clashes too much.

-For sonic howl, the mention of fire is random. Fire and any sort of Sonic boom (( or anything involving “sonic” things at all )) are not relevant to one another. They are too separate powers.

-Since Cerberus is one entire being the weakness of distracting him and his brothers will need to be taken out.

-Throughout your weaknesses you pretty much give a description that says to dodge his attacks, which isn’t really a weakness. Since he has so much involvement with fire I would suggest making him weak to water and ice, since it is pretty much dubbed as fires natural weakness. Since he is a dog/wolf I would also give him some dog like weaknesses. These would be his sense of smell and hearing, as they would not only be sharp but very sensitive (( especially since he has multiple )). Strong smells, vapors, gases and the like will have great affect on him, along with any extremely loud sounds.

-I would like to note, that even if they are no longer going to be brothers, his middle head cannot be dubbed the oldest as all three heads are attached to one single body, so they all kinda came… together…

-I’m just going to make this apparent. You can’t have fire spit. Say acidic spit instead. And you should use the world saliva, it’ll be taken more seriously that way… don’t say spit.

-The biography will need to be reviewed after these changes as they will have great affect on him. Try to make it fit more to the lore of league, since he should be changed to living in the Shadow Isles instead of any sort of Hell you should look over the other Shadow Isles champions and see how their lore was carried out. There isn't much known about the Shadow Isles so it’s okay to be a bit vague on his existence, but you’ll need to take care of everything else first before this part of his profile is reviewed.

-It would also be in your best interest to take into account the kind of being Cerberus is, along with his purpose in the world, and make sure you give him a personality according to this. He is going to be very serious, very distant, and very intimidating. He won't be someone that is very easy going and nonchalant. I don't want to govern the personality of your character, but I will give you advice and say that you're making a character that is a sentient being and a very dark one at that, he isn't going to act like a teenage boy at any moment no matter his mood or the situation. Just saying ^^

Ok Akuma, thanks for the help. I'll start tomorrow and why tomorrow? Well today!/ Wednesday, the season finale of 100 starts tonight also the headless horseman theory thingamajig?


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AkumaHunter

Senior Member

06-11-2014

Quote:
Grievous77:
Ok Akuma, thanks for the help. I'll start tomorrow and why tomorrow? Well today!/ Wednesday, the season finale of 100 starts tonight also the headless horseman theory thingamajig?


We can work on the Headlesss Horseman deal after Cerberus is said and done.


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AskTheSteamGolem

Senior Member

06-11-2014

Ok, thanks Akuma.

*high fives*

Tomorrow I fix it.


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Grievous77

Senior Member

06-13-2014

TABDAH!!!

http://summoners.shurelia.com/profiles/4258


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FioDonnelly

Senior Member

06-14-2014

http://summoners.shurelia.com/profiles/4416

Da-da-dan!
I'm finished Checking that I haven't messed up Zaun's lore and stufff before I roleplay.


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AkumaHunter

Senior Member

06-14-2014

Quote:
Grievous77 (via Multi-Quote):
TABDAH!!!

http://summoners.shurelia.com/profiles/4258 (http://summoners.shurelia.com/profiles/4258)


You're good with everything you fixed, but the biography needs work.

Him having been a dog that was corrupted by the Shadow Isles and made into Cerberus is alright; a little controversial but it'll slide, but you can't make him the biggest game changer in all of Runeterra. He wouldn't have that great affect on all of the world for him simply being present in the Shadow Isles, plus such a claim can make him seem very Mary Sue.

Also, his job in the Shadow Isles needs to be that he kept intruders out; he didn't allow people to enter into the Shadow Isles, he's does not keep anything in. Since there are Champions in the League who are of the Shadow Isles, creatures can leave from that area, Cerberus is just there to kept away all outsiders. The Shadow Isles is an island, not something where all spirits and creatures are locked up.

There are spirits and souls there, but like I said, they're not locked up behind any gates or anything like that. He just needs to keep outsiders from wondering into the area.

Quote:
FioDonnelly (via Multi-Quote):
http://summoners.shurelia.com/profiles/4416 (http://summoners.shurelia.com/profiles/4416)

Da-da-dan!

I'm finished Checking that I haven't messed up Zaun's lore and stufff before I roleplay.


I'm just gonna say, I flipping love your character! She looks great to me and is extremely interesting!! I've actually been working on a Zaun OC myself and was thinking of making him a Shimmer dealer kinda thing, so maybe we can work something out with that~

But really, this character is awesome! Good job! ^_^


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AskTheSteamGolem

Senior Member

06-14-2014

Ok thanks Akuma, fixing it right away!

AWAY TO THE EDIT....AGAIN!


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AskTheSteamGolem

Senior Member

06-14-2014

Boom! Sorry for double post, my iPad is lagging!

http://summoners.shurelia.com/profiles/4258