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@Riot: Urgent Questions

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Renekton Bot

Senior Member

02-17-2011

341) Shouldn't wearing a Sunfire cape be an extremely dangerous proposition for Maokai?


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Masticatorr

Senior Member

02-17-2011

Make more chapters please. I cant stop laughing at your writing! Plox moar noaw y3s


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Renekton Bot

Senior Member

02-17-2011

What was originally intended to be a threat has somehow developed an arc.


I'll be seeing it through, don't you guys worry.


Because I <3 you guys.
















And if someone from Riot would just answer these very simple questions, I'd find a little more <3 for them, too.












Okay, a lot.


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Tulki

Senior Member

02-17-2011

Quote:
TheRic:
56) If Akali is also known as the Fist of Shadow, why does she use two kamas as her weapons of choice?
She uses fists to hold them.

57) Was Zilean's movement animation modeled after Christ?
Zilean is Christ after he discovered time-travel. He merely needed a new alias.

58) Shouldn't Nunu's yeti, Willump, be the champion, considering all his efforts?
Nunu actually eats life-sucking fleas off of Willump, which would otherwise kill him instantaneously.

59) How does Heimerdinger fire three rockets nearly bigger than him without even pulling out a rocket launcher?
His mouth and ears are blast-proof.

60) Is Pantheon a spartan?
He is a very angry baker.

61) How does Trundle actually drain one's armor and magic resist if most of it comes from items? Does he drain the target or does he steal chunks of armor?
Armour is rich in iron, a nutrient that is necessary for most humanoids.

62) I've seen a lot of people use infinity edge, black cleaver, and/or bloodthirsters in their Twitch builds. That's just crazy. Why would he need those if he uses a crossbow?
Why does he need to fire arrows if he has all those weapons?

63) What's wrong with Urgot's face?
Urgot is the Quaker Oats mascot.

64) Is anyone going to tell Olaf what happened to his Viking brothers, Erik and Baleog?
I know you're trying to get a Ryze out of me, but it's not gonna work.

65) One of Udyr's /jokes involves PETA. Are /they/ observing the battles within League of Legends?
They were responsible for the jungle monsters buff.

66) Why doesn't my white-mage Veigar skin come with healing spells?
Veigar did not equip white mage gear and gain enough AP to master white mage spells.

67) Is Kayle the hubris of throw-away holy-paladins from WoW? She sure likes to bubble a lot.
She likes to take bubble baths *nudge nudge*.

68) Has Sivir ever gotten her boomerang crossblade stuck in a tree or bush?
No, but she got it stuck in someone's face once.

69) According to Lore, Vladimir murdered two boys his age for the sheer sake of being a *****. When he was given powers by the evil monk, why didn't he just go on a mass murdering spree? Seems more in-character than joining the League of Legends.
He was blackmailed with a secret *** tape (not so secret anymore!).

70) I'm still confused. If Nasus is a jackal, then why is his brother a crocodile?
Because Renekton was told he could grow up to be whatever he wanted, so he did.

Hope that helps!


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Renekton Bot

Senior Member

02-18-2011

Well, I guess if I squint a bit you kinda look like a redname, so I suppose we're making progress!


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Renekton Bot

Senior Member

02-18-2011

563) How do I get an avatar? I want one of Renekton, but with a laser eye. Or have half of his face missing, revealing Terminator-style robotics. Or have him lowering himself on a chain into a vat of molten metal to destroy the last existing AI chip so that his kind will never again threaten Runeterra.



Only they still do, because it turns out Hollywood needed more money from the franchise.


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Renekton Bot

Senior Member

02-19-2011

Xin Zhao approached the heavy wooden door that barred entrance to Garen's chambers. He raised his fist and pounded on the door the way he always did, two knocks in the middle of the door and one near the top. It was his way of identifying himself since Garen usually didn't care for visitors. He waited. There was no response.
"Yo ****," he called, "Open the door."
Silence.
He knocked again, harder. If Garen was in his room he clearly didn't want to be disturbed. **** that. Xin glanced up and down the long hallway and, sure he was alone, gave the door handle a firm tug. And then another. And then another. On the third he put all of his strength into the effort and wrested the door open, breaking the lock in the process. Garen's fault for not answering. He entered.
The inside of Garen's room was the same as Xin had always remembered. Modest. For Garen, a bedroom was only for resting between battles. And occasionally nailing his boyfriend. For this he required little more than a bed, a place to keep his weapons and armor, a table, a rug, a fireplace, a fountain of blood... Wait, what? Xin arched an eyebrow at the new addition. A circular fountain in the middle of the room, built with black stone. A syrupy red ooze rested still in the basin, while a spire-like center aspired towards the ceiling. From small holes along the top, the ichor poured slowly down a pillar of expertly-carved stone skulls. Xin became acutely aware of a coppery tang on the air. He rolled his eyes. Mordekaiser must have talked him into installing that.
Xin turned his attention to the fireplace. A dimly-glowing log on the metal grill hinted that it had been in use recently. He began to look for clues, and his eyes were drawn to the mantle. Along the top was the only decoration Garen's room had: Pictures. The leftmost was a picture of the king of Demacia, Jarvan Lightshield III. His commanding smile beamed out from behind the thin pane of glass, and a little scribbling in one corner read, "To my favorite badass." It was signed by Jarvan himself. Xin was slightly taken aback. He thought he was the king's favorite badass? Then he remembered. No, he was the king's favorite asskicker. There was a difference. The point was they were both his favorites, and they both loved their king. His son was a different story, however. Prince Jarvan IV. Stuck-up *******. Xin was glad he hadn't joined the League. ****. That would suck so hard.
Xin looked at the next photo, and he smiled. It was him, standing next to Garen, the two of them with one boot each planted on the corpse of Baron Nashor, sharing a wicked high-five. They'd duoed that enormous ****, duoed like champions, and after Xin cleared up this whole stupid buffs thing they would do it again, and with the Baron's totally legal buff they would charge into the league hall and duo Caitlyn, ifyouknowwhatImean, because nobody accuses Garen of juicing, nobody.
Xin's gaze travelled across the next couple of photos, all of which featured Mordekaiser. Garen and Mordekaiser holding one another and smiling, Garen and Mordekaiser sharing a cotton candy at a Valoran amusement park (Xin could see Corki's plane ride in the background), Mordekaiser holding a plush Yordle that Garen had won for him, Mordekaiser lying on a black-sheeted bed with most of his armor off, grinning suggestively outward...
Xin decided it was time to stop looking at pictures. He travelled across the room to Garen's bed, and started checking the drawers for clues to Garen's whereabouts. He'd heard nothing regarding a game today, and if Garen wasn't in a game then he would be in his room, preparing for the next game. The fact that he was not here told Xin that he had ducked out to get some food, but if that was the case, why was his door locked? Garen never locked his door when he went for food. Nothing was wrong, of course, maybe he just forgot, or maybe he was at the bookstore? In any case, he found nothing in the drawers to signify that Garen was using buffs, and so he decided he'd check under the bed, and then head to the cafeteria where Garen obviously was, and they would have some pizza and then go kick some ass.
Xin crouched and lean forward to look under the bed. He saw nothing, and so he moved to stand, but as he did, a brief glint of light caught his eye. He reached under the bed and wrapped his fingers around something cylindrical. Pulling it out he saw it was hollow and made of glass, with one end terminating in a thin metal needle.
****.
Xin dropped the object and stood. Keep calm, Xin. It was obviously for.... something that wasn't buffs. As he rose, he felt something press against the back of his head. Something circular and metal, and very much like the barrel of a flintlock pistol. Xin put his hands up, slowly.
"Hello, Xin." said Miss Fortune. "Did you get my present?" He could tell she was smiling her usual smile.
"Yeah," replied Xin. Those chocolates had been **** good. "How did you sneak up on me wearing heels?"
"Honey," she said, "It takes practice. Anyway, I'm looking for Garen. Have you seen him?"
"Join the club." Xin put his hands down as Miss Fortune dropped the gun from his head. He turned to face her. "What do you need him for?"
"Just to talk," she said. She was a pretty good liar.
"Oh yeah? About what?"
"Oh, you know, builds, booty, boys..." She smiled sweetly, her winning smile.
Xin restrained himself from blurting, "Buffs?" and instead he smiled and nodded. "Yeah, I came over to ask if he had any extra deodorant."
"You don't need to wear deodorant, Xin. I like the way you smell." She leaned in slightly. God**** did he want to **** her right now.
"You're the only one. Anyway, he's not here. And his lock is broken for some reason."
"I noticed that," she said. 'I thought you did it."
"The Demacian code forbids breaking open locks." Like **** it did. It didn't say **** about locks.
Miss Fortune's eyes lit up, "Do you think there might be a thief about? Thieves catch a pretty good bounty."
"Could be. It doesn't look like anything was taken, though."
Miss Fortune didn't seem to be listening, "By the way, is that a fountain of blood?"
"Uh, yeah, it is. Listen, I'm gonna wait around to see if Garen shows up. Did you wanna chill 'till he gets back?"
Miss Fortune shook her head. She knew Garen wouldn't be back this way for a long time, and her intuition told her Xin was hiding something, but she couldn't rightly hang around without alerting him to her intent, and so she turned, shaking her head,
"Sorry hon, gotta run. Next time though, I promise." She winked at him over her shoulder and strutted out of the room, wiggling her rear all the way.
Xin was sorry to see her go, but it confirmed his suspicions. Miss Fortune knew about the accusations, too. But how? His mind raced with images of Miss Fortune interrogating Caitlyn. Great. Now he had two gunwomen after his friend, AND he had an erection. He knelt awkwardly to pick up the syringe and tucked it into his pack, then walked into Garen's bathroom. He emerged feeling refreshed, no longer distracted.

It was time to find Garen.


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Renekton Bot

Senior Member

02-22-2011

I'm starting to think that hunger strikes are the only way to get answers around here.



Well, I'm hungry.


Answer me.


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Renekton Bot

Senior Member

02-25-2011

983) Does Miss Fortune use Double Up to shoot the sheriff AND the deputy?

984) How come nobody ever recognized the bravery of minions?

985) What lives in the Serengeti and doesn't die?

985a) A Tryndamerekat!

986) Anyone know a good dentist?

987) Does Gragas need to use a Hextech dialysis machine after every match?

988) How does Nunu's yeti even eat Heimer's turrets? I mean it's hilarious and all, but ****.

989) Does Maokai ever need to worry about blights, or fungal infections?

990) How about yo momma? OH SON

991) Is anyone still reading that story I'm writing? Sorry I haven't written a new chapter lately. Been busy with... with stuff.

992) Who is coming after Jaran IV? Please tell me in an email. I won't tell anyone.


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Renekton Bot

Senior Member

03-07-2011

Quote:
Renekton Bot:
Aww, you're kind <3


104) Riot, can we have an owl champion?

His backstory can be that he was Zilean's pet owl during his imprisonment in that tower, and the same chronal affliction that cursed his master also affected him.

His passive would be increased stats and movement speed the more health he has, which would give him some good ganking ability because owls are pro gankers irl. Also he'd get bonus damage vs. yordles and Twitch.

His Q: Rend. Melee attack that slows the target and causes a damage over time effect.

His W: Screech. AoE that fears enemies.

His E: Chrono-shift, which functions much like flash only it gives him slightly increased movement speed if he has over 25% health.

His R: Midnight, where he uses his magic time powers to turn day into night, severely limiting the enemy team's vision radius while increasing his own. Also he gets a bigass stat boost 'cause owls are nocturnal.


His name is Dr. Hoo, and he is a time owl.


Calling it now they're using this template for Nocturne.