@Riot: Urgent Questions

First Riot Post
Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Damious

This user has referred a friend to League of Legends, click for more information

Recruiter

03-13-2011

Keep it going! Another chapter would be awesome!!!


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

GeneralZhukov

Senior Member

03-13-2011

Wheres the next chapter?


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

OminouSx

This user has referred a friend to League of Legends, click for more information

Senior Member

03-15-2011

Where's the next chapter dewd! We're starving for more Garenkaiser gay love!


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

shatteredperfect

This user has referred a friend to League of Legends, click for more information

Senior Member

03-15-2011

ITT: People trying way too hard to be funny.


Well, at least it fits with what Riot does all the time.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Kwisatz Haderach

Senior Member

03-15-2011

9001) Which champs are bi-winning?


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Jamie09

Junior Member

03-15-2011

"
01-10-2011, 01:42 PM
So I had a bunch of extremely important questions that are burning holes in my brain, so now I need to have them answered before all the air leaks out and I die ready go

1) If Kog'maw is all about eating things, why do all of his abilities involve vomiting instead?

2) Garen hits women to shut them up. Did you guys ever think about this?

3) Did Morgana's parents not realize that if you name a girl Morgan, Morgana or Morrigan then she's going to be evil?

4) Has Twitch ever played Templeton in a League of Legends-sponsored reproduction of Charlotte's web?

5) Does Urgot have trouble descending stairs (controlled descent, I mean. Not just tumbling)?

6) Any chance we'll see a Solid Snake Shaco skin? Or Teemo? If it's Teemo, can we replace his mushrooms with claymores and have his passive put him in a box?

7) Does Nunu actually do anything? It seems to me that it's Yeti doing all the work.

8) Who convinced Karthus to dress up as the Statue of Liberty?

9) Is Anivia ticklish?

10) Has Heimerdinger ever built a turret and then forgot about it, and then it murdered some kid on his way to school?

10a) Did he receive gold for the kill?

11) Why do champions forget all their abilities until well into their next match? Does Eve just suddenly remember that she can be a total *****?

12) Soraka is the worst champion. No, not because of her abilities, it's because she gave up immortality to turn Warwick into a pro jungler. Every time I get ganked by Warwick I blame that stupid purple goat. I mean god **** it, girl. No this isn't a question

14) Is it true the 13th question is bad luck?

15) I recruited 10,000 friends to LoL but for some reason the system didn't keep track. When can I expect my plane ticket?

16) Is it true that to be a female gunslinger in Runeterra you need to wear a stupid hat?

17) When Ashe uses her ultimate and misses, does the arrow just keep going until it slams into someone? How many crystal arrows are flying around the world right now?

18) Has Twisted Fate ever been caught using Destiny to spy on women in the shower?

19) Does Nasus use Wither to age wines and then sell them back for huge profits?

20) What is Fiddlesticks going to do when they add the Magma Chamber map?


Okay that's all




P.S. after like page four I got fed up with riot not responding so I started writing slash fiction between Garen and Mordekaiser because thats how I deal with frustration so go read it"



-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Wow, Best post I've read in a while lol My favorite was the solid snake skin idea for teemo that would be awesome.

Imo, #20, 5, 6, 7 were all win.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Finality88

This user has referred a friend to League of Legends, click for more information

Senior Member

03-15-2011

Epic thread is epic, more chapters plz


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

BlastTyrant

Senior Member

03-15-2011

Hade to log on to say how awesome those chapters are.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Renekton Bot

This user has referred a friend to League of Legends, click for more information

Senior Member

03-15-2011

Hi guys <3 I wrote this for you during my downtime. It's probably kinda disorderly and stuff but I wasn't really able to think straight. At all. Oh well!



Not sure how I didn't think of this sooner. Xin said to himself as he made his way down yet another stone corridor, feeling like an idiot for not thinking of this sooner. In moments he had made it to the game room, and he pushed open the door to reveal a few scattered packs of champions all tending to their own games. Off in the corner, playing by himself, was the figure Xin was looking for.

As Xin approached, Twisted Fate looked up, eyeing him under the brim of his hat. He grinned.”Game of cards?”
Xin shook his head, “No thanks.” He, like everyone else in the league, knew better than to gamble with Fate.
Twisted Fate's grin vanished, as did his cards into his sleeve. “I see. Well, then I don’t believe we have any business.”
“We do, actually. I'm looking for--”
“Garen.” said Fate, cutting him off. “You and everyone else.”
“Just how many people are looking for him?” Xin asked. The cards flashed in Fate's hands once more.
“Well, I reckon that information could be earned, seeing as how I don't have any reason to help you anyway.” his grin returned with the cards, the kind of grin that bars a secret behind it. “Whaddya say?”
“I'm not a card player.” said Xin.
“Even better.”
“Just do me a solid, just this once. I'll owe you one.”
“That,” said Fate, shuffling his deck, “is not how I operate.”
Xin balled his fists. Nobody ever won card games against Fate, which is why he spent every other day in the game room alone, looking forward to the days when a new league hopeful would stumble upon the chamber while looking for the lavatory and get talked into a game. Then another. And then another. Then they would be on their way, and Fate would have a brand new pair of boots.
“Alright, how about we make a deal?”
Fate regarded Xin with the very definition of boredom.
“You show me where Garen is, and I'll play one game with you.”
Fate chuckled and shook his head, “You've got it in the wrong order, friend.”
“I'm not going to try and win the information from you. Everyone in here knows you're a card sharp. I bet you haven't actually played a game in months.”
Fate's nostril's flared, “Mr. Zhao, I don’t care for counterfactual insinuations.”
“Uh huh.” said Xin, then, turning to the other gamers, “Hey guys, does Fate cheat at cards?”
The others droned a disinterested affirmation in unison.
Xin turned back to Fate, who was now grimacing.
“Alright, I may have had one or two games where I had a slight advantage over my opponents, but that doesn't mean I--”
Xin began to turn, “Well, I'm wasting my time here.”
“Wait!” Fate said immediately. Xin turned back to face him. “I... I can't.”
“You can't?”
“I'm not... allowed to use Destiny outside of approved league battleground, alright?”
“When were you going to tell me this?”
“I, er, I wasn't.”
Xin advanced on the gambler, who threw up his hands defensively. “So you were going to bleed me dry, knowing you couldn't lose?”
Fate bit his lip, “You don't understand! ...Look, you were right. I haven't played anything but solitaire for three months. I'm dying here! I just needed one game to get me on my feet again.”
“Okay, how about this. Go ahead and use it, show me where Garen is hiding, and I'll pull some strings so the council doesn't come down on your ass for doing so. Deal?”
Fate sighed. “It's not the council who's stopping me.”
“What? What is it, then?”
Fate turned his gaze away from Xin and looked at the floor.
“Fate, what did you do?”
Fate pursed his lips, “I... made some, uh... questionable moral decisions with my abilities.”
“Questionable moral... What the hell did you do?”
Fate went silent.
“What he means is,” said Jax from behind Xin, whose attention was focused on a game of Battleship versus Shaco, “He was spying on Katarina in the shower, and when she found out she broke both of his arms .”
Fate snarled, “Who ****ing told you that?”
“Common knowledge.” said Jax. “Everyone knows what a god**** creeper you are.”
Xin turned back to Fate, somewhat revolted and just the slightest bit envious.
Fate was scowling at Jax, but felt the hot stare of Xin through his wide-brimmed hat.
“Okay, let's try again. Show me where Garen is and I'll not only agree to play a doomed game against you, I'll make sure your arms stay intact.”
Fate took a deep breath. After a long moment contemplating his options, he reluctantly agreed. He held out a hand to Xin. “Take my hand. It'll let you see what I see.”
Xin took Fate's outstretched hand.
“Close your eyes.”
Xin acquiesced, and for a moment he was surrounded by nothing but blackness and the sound of various boardgames being played. Then, with a flash the world appeared and fell away beneath him until he was floating dozens of feet above the room, which he could see into as if there was no ceiling to it. Looking around he realized he had vision of the league hall's entirety, including the surrounding lands. All through the hall he could see various other champions going about their daily routines, oblivious to their observers. All of them had a curious sunburst burning in the air high above them, and a few of the players in the gameroom looked up to give the odd symbol a hateful scowl.
We don’t have a lot of time. Do you see them? Xin heard Twisted Fate’s voice in his mind somewhere. Xin looked around, trying to find the telltale blue and gold of Garen’s armor. He saw Heimerdinger teaching a group of bored-looking Ionians about nuclear physics, Corki putting the finishing touches on a wicked-looking gunboat that Xin was previously unaware he had owned, Udyr attemtping to master what looked like “Crab-stance,” Southern Baptist Urgot preaching to an empty cathedral, Tryndamere and Ashe arguing furiously over what she would wear to a Demacian Ball, and... Well, now that’s strange. In the distance Xin could see Evelynn’s solitary sunburst. She appeared to be at Courageous Meadows, the league-sponsored orphanage.
Zhao for ****’s sake hurry!
Xin felt his attention pulled towards a location back in the league hall. The women’s showers. In use... with a livid, towel-clad Katarina storming out of them and making a slippery beeline towards the gameroom.
Xin took one last desperate scan of the horizon. Then he saw it. Out in the distance, five sunbursts scattered about the countryside. One was stationary. The other four were headed towards...
The Howling Marsh! Xin shouted wordlessly, That’s where he’s going!
Xin knew it in his gut. One of those dots was Garen. One had to be Caitlyn... He couldn’t account for the other three, however. He tried to focus, to get a better view of at least one, but he felt himself slipping, heading back towards the ground. He landed just time time to halt the ferocious charge of Katarina. Her hands lashed out to grab the terrified gambler.
“Out of my way, Xin, this ****er just signed his own death warrant!” she shrieked.
“Kat, hold it! I had him do it.” said Xin. Katarina relented... slightly. “I was looking for Garen. This was the only way I could think of to find him.”
She stopped, composing herself, and bit her lip, looking slightly disappointed that she had come all this way without getting to kill someone. Her hand shot out suddenly, pointing a throwing knife at Fate.
“Did you see anything?” Katarina asked through her teeth.
Fate shook his head frantically.
She turned to Xin and grinned slightly, “Did you?” she asked, with a flutter of her lashes.
Xin shook his head, “We weren’t spying on the showers, Kat.”
She glowered suddenly, “Good.” Xin had apparently just saved both himself and Fate.
Katarina left the room, and it became apparent to Xin just how hard everyone else in the room was trying to not pay attention. Rumor had it Katarina was working on a way to hit more than three people at a time with Death Lotus. Nobody wanted to verify it.
Fate loosed a breath he had been holding for thirty seconds. “Well Mr. Zhao, what’s your plan now?”
Xin straightened up, “I’m headed to the marsh.”
“The Marsh? The Howling Marsh? Are you crazy?”
“No? That’s where Garen was. Weren’t you watching?”
Fate pulled his hat down over his eyes, “I, erm, no.”
Xin laughed, “God****, you really are a--”
Fate held up a hand, “Look, we don’t need to play that game if you promise not to tell Katarina about this, but you’re gonna get your ass killed in that marsh. You know that, right?”
Xin slid his hand into his pocket. “Tell you this, Fate.” He withdraw his Commando sunglasses from his pocket and slid them on.
“I wouldn’t bet on it.”


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Gunofthedeep

Junior Member

03-16-2011

I'm sorry but I'm not giving you a choice, you're going to have to write more, or I will cry myself to sleep every night for until you write more. Your work is complete genius, riot should hire you to write fiction like this for the website

4868: do Shen and akali like that they accepted a squirrel into their ninja group?