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@Riot: Urgent Questions

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Renekton Bot

Senior Member


So I had a bunch of extremely important questions that are burning holes in my brain, so now I need to have them answered before all the air leaks out and I die ready go

1) If Kog'maw is all about eating things, why do all of his abilities involve vomiting instead?

2) Garen hits women to shut them up. Did you guys ever think about this?

3) Did Morgana's parents not realize that if you name a girl Morgan, Morgana or Morrigan then she's going to be evil?

4) Has Twitch ever played Templeton in a League of Legends-sponsored reproduction of Charlotte's web?

5) Does Urgot have trouble descending stairs (controlled descent, I mean. Not just tumbling)?

6) Any chance we'll see a Solid Snake Shaco skin? Or Teemo? If it's Teemo, can we replace his mushrooms with claymores and have his passive put him in a box?

7) Does Nunu actually do anything? It seems to me that it's Yeti doing all the work.

8) Who convinced Karthus to dress up as the Statue of Liberty?

9) Is Anivia ticklish?

10) Has Heimerdinger ever built a turret and then forgot about it, and then it murdered some kid on his way to school?

10a) Did he receive gold for the kill?

11) Why do champions forget all their abilities until well into their next match? Does Eve just suddenly remember that she can be a total *****?

12) Soraka is the worst champion. No, not because of her abilities, it's because she gave up immortality to turn Warwick into a pro jungler. Every time I get ganked by Warwick I blame that stupid purple goat. I mean god **** it, girl. No this isn't a question

14) Is it true the 13th question is bad luck?

15) I recruited 10,000 friends to LoL but for some reason the system didn't keep track. When can I expect my plane ticket?

16) Is it true that to be a female gunslinger in Runeterra you need to wear a stupid hat?

17) When Ashe uses her ultimate and misses, does the arrow just keep going until it slams into someone? How many crystal arrows are flying around the world right now?

18) Has Twisted Fate ever been caught using Destiny to spy on women in the shower?

19) Does Nasus use Wither to age wines and then sell them back for huge profits?

20) What is Fiddlesticks going to do when they add the Magma Chamber map?

Okay that's all

P.S. after like page four I got fed up with riot not responding so I started writing slash fiction between Garen and Mordekaiser because thats how I deal with frustration so go read it

P.P.S. I'm wrong it was page 6.

P.P.P.S. Chapter 2 had to be deleted out of sexiness concerns so just go here: http://renekton.livejournal.com

P.P.P.P.S. Fruitstrike (Picture 1) and Aurynia (Pictures 2 and 3) have graced this thread with their artistic glory and I just remembered that these forums support picture attachments so here you go <3

P.P.P.P.P.S. I finally found the picture drawn by AestheticMachine (Picture 4) so now I'm posting that one, too! And I know there's another which I'm still looking for...

P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Found it <3 Thank you King Kasai (Picture 5)

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. No really, click here: http://renekton.livejournal.com

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Then click here http://twitter.com/automatedcroc

P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.P.S. The story is finished now! And it only took 51 chapters!

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Renekton Bot

Senior Member


Wait I have another

21) Why does Wither work on Annie? Shouldn't it just make her a teenager/adult?


22) And shouldn't it just kill Swain outright?

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Junior Member


23. Since when did Ninjas qualify for medical employment?

24. Was Arnold Schwarzenegger contacted for permission before the development of Sion? If yes, then was he contacted later when Sion's Barbarian skin came out?

25. Why isn't there a Cobra Commander-based champion?

26. How come Undying rage doesn't work in real life?

27. Does Garen ever get dizzy when performing "Judgment"?

28. Will there ever be an Emperor skin for Karthus? If so, will it come with Emperor quotes?

29. What's wrong with Urgot's face?

30. Who started the Annie-porn trend, and why haven't they been shot yet?

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Renekton Bot

Senior Member



32) Do you think people look up Pantheon's kilt when he Skyfalls?

33) Why does buying a bow help melee champions deal more damage?

34) Will we ever get a B.F.F. Sword that boosts a champion and their laning buddy's AD and AP as long as they're holding hands?

35) What IS wrong with Urgot's face?

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Senior Member


I lol'ed to be honest.

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Renekton Bot

Senior Member



37) How'd Katarina get that scar?

38) Speaking of Garen and Judgement, does Rammus ever get sick in Powerball mode?

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Junior Member


39) If Gangplank is the only character not to be seduced by Miss Fortune, who did Gangplank mac?

40) Why hasn't Karthus' ultimate destroyed the entire world yet?

41) What happens to Twisted Fate's cards if he spills red wine on his yellow and blue cards?

42) Are the purple mushrooms in Super Mario Bros. 2 (the japanese one) Teemo's mushrooms?

43) Why so many sibling characters now? What about extended-family? If there's an Uncle Ryze skin, who's he the uncle of?

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Senior Member


These are the nail biting questions that plague us every night. I'll bet Riot is scrambling to avoid giving out the answers. This **** is hard-hitting journalism.

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Renekton Bot

Senior Member


44) Why is Riot so stingy with the answers?

45) Why does a guy called "the Master of Metal" have an ultimate dealing with souls?

46) Cassiopeia's backstory basically said the curse made her a hideous snake monster. Why did it only do this to her lower half while leaving her upper half perfectly fine and also very attractive?

47) Where does Gragas get the money for all that booze?

48) Where does Miss Fortune keep all that ammo?

49) What is up with Ryze's head?

50) Does Taric work for Zales?

51) Why hasn't Olaf ragequit if he's so good at being angry?

52) If Poppy falls off a cliff, and uses Diplomatic immunity on a bird, will she survive the fall?

53) If Singed's mouth is covered in bandages, how does he imbibe his insanity potion?

54) Do I want to know the answer to #53?

55) Has Shaco ever thrown down a Jack in the box, forgotten about it, then gotten feared when he stumbled across it later?

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Junior Member


56) If Akali is also known as the Fist of Shadow, why does she use two kamas as her weapons of choice?

57) Was Zilean's movement animation modeled after Christ?

58) Shouldn't Nunu's yeti, Willump, be the champion, considering all his efforts?

59) How does Heimerdinger fire three rockets nearly bigger than him without even pulling out a rocket launcher?

60) Is Pantheon a spartan?

61) How does Trundle actually drain one's armor and magic resist if most of it comes from items? Does he drain the target or does he steal chunks of armor?

62) I've seen a lot of people use infinity edge, black cleaver, and/or bloodthirsters in their Twitch builds. That's just crazy. Why would he need those if he uses a crossbow?

63) What's wrong with Urgot's face?

64) Is anyone going to tell Olaf what happened to his Viking brothers, Erik and Baleog?

65) One of Udyr's /jokes involves PETA. Are /they/ observing the battles within League of Legends?

66) Why doesn't my white-mage Veigar skin come with healing spells?

67) Is Kayle the hubris of throw-away holy-paladins from WoW? She sure likes to bubble a lot.

68) Has Sivir ever gotten her boomerang crossblade stuck in a tree or bush?

69) According to Lore, Vladimir murdered two boys his age for the sheer sake of being a *****. When he was given powers by the evil monk, why didn't he just go on a mass murdering spree? Seems more in-character than joining the League of Legends.

70) I'm still confused. If Nasus is a jackal, then why is his brother a crocodile?