Welcome to the Forum Archive!

Years of conversation fill a ton of digital pages, and we've kept all of it accessible to browse or copy over. Whether you're looking for reveal articles for older champions, or the first time that Rammus rolled into an "OK" thread, or anything in between, you can find it here. When you're finished, check out the boards to join in the latest League of Legends discussions.

GO TO BOARDS


[Champion Concept] Ephrial, The Blazing Swordsman

Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Nox Serpens

Senior Member

12-11-2013

I am going to start with the lore. I liked it. I am not sure if mercenary knight is the right title, I would go with champion of the people, but I liked it. A few things though.

Quote:
A place he and his sister, as well as others of Noxian-Ionian blood, were forced to flee the brutal city-state


Fix this sentence. I don’t know what it was supposed to say exactly, but it isn’t saying it.

Quote:
The mercenary knights arrived to a grizzly scene - the hamlet ablaze as Noxian soldiers butchered the inhabitants.


The hamlet WAS ablaze… there are other ways to write it as well, but none without changing your sentence structure.

Quote:
With an arcane sword of steel and fire, the lone survivor aimlessly walked Valoran, seeking his sister‘s killer.


With his arcane sword of steel and fire, this lone survivor... adds to the impact of being the last to live. also leads the reader to think He lived and that you aren't talkign about some one else (Yes we know it is him, but we shouldn't fight your words to think it is him.

I really liked how you tied him to Rivin together. Also he is a man after my own heart for being in pursuit of Warwick. (My first champion Otaktay has a very similar story. You might want to read it. Also maybe cut out Zelos, and make it just riven that he meets, tie them together more. You make a lot of reference to champions in the league, but name dropping isn’t the goal of a lore, building up your champion is.

Now on to the abilities. I like how you make them flow. There is a lot of synergy inside of your kit. (Something I struggle with to be honest.)

Your Q is a little like varus’s I am guessing. Do you mean to have the build up negate the halving effect or do you want that to stay. I would advise the former. I would make it so you could quick cast it for partial damage, or wait the 2 seconds it takes to charge for greater damage and range.
I love how you build in your dash still working during the charge up. I would make a change though. The dash also has an attack to it. Make the attacks stack too. (Think fizz’s e q combo.) Just a thought.

Your w is the only ability that feels out of place. Cool it’s a stun. Yes I get that it is lore based and I like that, but I just feel that it is a filler. Not sure if I would replace it or rework it. Probably make it more of a straight steroid, but I would keep the stun, I like the stun. Maybe make it a little more like Aatrox’s w or Kayles e. Toggle to ad flames, flames stun once every 4 seconds, toggle to turn off and add another desired effect. But this is your champion, not mine.

Your e is good, a must have for any good fighter, but the question on everyone’s mind who reads it, does it go through terrain? If it does then it is a little short, if not It is good as is. With the cooldown as it is I would say don’t make it go through terrain. If you do he becomes an extremely allusive and annoying champion to catch.

The ulti I feel needs some work. It sounds a lot like Garen’s ulti with brands pillar of flame instead of a giant sword. I don’t mean to be rude, just this skill has already been done. Riot is known to put the same skill on two different champions (Sion’s stun and Taric’s dazzle) but I would change this up for originalities’ sake.

My last comment is on your passive. That is a tank killer. It seems a little out of place on a fighter like the champ you have. You are going to focus on carries, and other fighters. Why have a passive made for melting a tank too?

I really liked the story you tell after. Was that just for fun? Or is there more behind that?
Hope I helped at least a little bit. If you want a long read review Otaktay. If not give me a few days and then review Vada. I still need to add numbers to her though. I wont hold you to doing a review of either. Just if you want to. I find reading these fun. I don't know if you share that view.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Frekvin

Senior Member

12-11-2013

Yeah, your passive is a bit op, but if that's one of the ideals of your character- then you should stand by it. But be prepared for endless repeats of "that's op".

Now, as for your abilities, let me see if I have this right:
- Q to start its first stage
- E to get a dash onto the target
- Q for the hit
- W for the stun
- and then finish with the R ultimate

Seems like a decent enough kit but you have it specifically state he can use only the dash after he primes his Q- meaning your stun can only be applied after he uses it again. Not exactly a bad thing, but I just wanted to clarify that's what I see.

The only problem I have is with his W, a conic stun is pretty hardcore cc- and you have a very short range on it. He will have to be right by his enemy to hit with it, the range is barely beyond melee distance.

I made a champion myself, feel free to drop by and check him if you wish
http://forums.na.leagueoflegends.com/board/showthread.php?t=4060992


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Angeluslight

Senior Member

12-11-2013

Quote:
Nox Serpens:
I am going to start with the lore. I liked it. I am not sure if mercenary knight is the right title, I would go with champion of the people, but I liked it. A few things though.



Fix this sentence. I don’t know what it was supposed to say exactly, but it isn’t saying it.



The hamlet WAS ablaze… there are other ways to write it as well, but none without changing your sentence structure.



With his arcane sword of steel and fire, this lone survivor... adds to the impact of being the last to live. also leads the reader to think He lived and that you aren't talkign about some one else (Yes we know it is him, but we shouldn't fight your words to think it is him.

I really liked how you tied him to Rivin together. Also he is a man after my own heart for being in pursuit of Warwick. (My first champion Otaktay has a very similar story. You might want to read it. Also maybe cut out Zelos, and make it just riven that he meets, tie them together more. You make a lot of reference to champions in the league, but name dropping isn’t the goal of a lore, building up your champion is.

Now on to the abilities. I like how you make them flow. There is a lot of synergy inside of your kit. (Something I struggle with to be honest.)

Your Q is a little like varus’s I am guessing. Do you mean to have the build up negate the halving effect or do you want that to stay. I would advise the former. I would make it so you could quick cast it for partial damage, or wait the 2 seconds it takes to charge for greater damage and range.
I love how you build in your dash still working during the charge up. I would make a change though. The dash also has an attack to it. Make the attacks stack too. (Think fizz’s e q combo.) Just a thought.

Your w is the only ability that feels out of place. Cool it’s a stun. Yes I get that it is lore based and I like that, but I just feel that it is a filler. Not sure if I would replace it or rework it. Probably make it more of a straight steroid, but I would keep the stun, I like the stun. Maybe make it a little more like Aatrox’s w or Kayles e. Toggle to ad flames, flames stun once every 4 seconds, toggle to turn off and add another desired effect. But this is your champion, not mine.

Your e is good, a must have for any good fighter, but the question on everyone’s mind who reads it, does it go through terrain? If it does then it is a little short, if not It is good as is. With the cooldown as it is I would say don’t make it go through terrain. If you do he becomes an extremely allusive and annoying champion to catch.

The ulti I feel needs some work. It sounds a lot like Garen’s ulti with brands pillar of flame instead of a giant sword. I don’t mean to be rude, just this skill has already been done. Riot is known to put the same skill on two different champions (Sion’s stun and Taric’s dazzle) but I would change this up for originalities’ sake.

My last comment is on your passive. That is a tank killer. It seems a little out of place on a fighter like the champ you have. You are going to focus on carries, and other fighters. Why have a passive made for melting a tank too?

I really liked the story you tell after. Was that just for fun? Or is there more behind that?
Hope I helped at least a little bit. If you want a long read review Otaktay. If not give me a few days and then review Vada. I still need to add numbers to her though. I wont hold you to doing a review of either. Just if you want to. I find reading these fun. I don't know if you share that view.




Awesome. Another nice, full review.

That "place" refers to the hamlet of Noxian-Ionian refugees. I'll see about rewording that for a better "feel" to it.

Hm...that might be one of the small things I missed when touching up my lore. I spend a looot of time on his lore and Judgement. I even had to change the tense from present to past tense, so I think that's when that part went wrong. Thanks for pointing it out.

I guess it does add more impact to it. Thanks.
--
Edit: Actually, I've found these changes do not flow correctly. First, I can't put "was ablaze" as I introduced that with a dash, which means a sudden explanation. If it was a different transition, then "was" would be appropriate.

Reading back, changing it to "his sword" and "this lone" doesn't work. Lores are in a 3rd person omniscient view, not that of someone directly telling you a narrative. Your suggestions weren't really wrong so much as not fitting to LoL's format from what I've founded my lores on.
--

Well, I'm not sure what you know about Zelos, but he is Irelia's brother. He's an important build to the character as that's how Ephrial became much stronger and skilled, as well as reflecting this little "tug of war" between Ephrial's Noxian and Ionian background and traits. Basically, Zelos left Ionia to get help from Demacia just before the invasion. He was never seen again...at least after Ephrial's encounter. This builds up a lot of potential drama as to how Zelos would react to seeing the blazing swordsman he helped train helping Riven, one of the terrors of the invasion. All potential drama and character build-up.

For his Q, I looked at both Varus and Vi for their own charged skills. The halving effect is always there. You can indeed activate the ability early on, just like with Varus and Vi. The minimum damage listed is if you pressed Q twice fast, not allowing it to charge. The maximum damage is at full charge. It's noted just below those stats that the same damage listed is half at 126-200 range. All the numbers, damage and range, are listed, and it's explained that the damage and range are increased during the charge. I guess the only thing I can do to make it more clear is put a note saying it can be activated early.

A stack? You mean like after he dashes, he has a second or two to activate the ability to perform his AOE slash? Hm...That would kind of take away from the trade-off of his with his dash + damage vs dash + sunder. I'll definitely keep that option in mind though. It's a good one, but considering his uses no mana, this was one of the decision-making mechanics to his various skill combos to even that out. I'll see where he goes in the future if he'll need that ability change, so thanks for the idea.

Again, that simplicity plays into his no-resource, high-skillcap goal. Unlike most (or maybe all) conical skillshots, this one is actually more wide than it is long, keeping him an all-in champion. Also, a toggle option is not an option for a champion that doesn't use any resource but CDs. It could resemble something like Varus' W, but bear in mind that this is also to keep people in range and interrupt them at the right time if necessary. I'm not saying your idea is bad, just that I don't think it will serve his skillset since his abilities are not auto-attack based.

That was sort of brought up in my last review, so I'll definitely add that note. And no, it does not go through terrain except maybe Jarvan's ult or Anivia's wall. The dash part itself is based on him being a counterpart to Riven, except it can do damage rather than absorb it.

I never actually thought his ult would be compared to Garen's. Maybe because I don't use him much or maybe because instead of a ranged strike, it's a leap kind of like Jarvan's. If I can think of something that would better part the similarities between the two ults, I'll change it. The very first version of his ult I came up with was an AOE, but numbers have changed, so I'll see what I can do.

Well his passive is meant to give him something to weave basic attacks in between his skills with. I didn't consider it too out of place myself considering top-laners are usually the tanks and fighters/assassins usually have at least 1 ability boosting their basic attacks. If anything, I could change it to a fixed amount of damage that increases every X amount of levels?

The Judgement tale? Well, basically I wanted to increase the chance of getting Riot's support any way I could, but also the players'. I didn't know about these Judgement stories until I was already designing Ephrial, but I saw they were popular. I also saw it as a great opportunity to expand on him since he's kind of a complex character. It gave me more space to write out his personality and his interaction with Riven, since his concept was always meant to finally give her an ally. It was also fun for me to expand on his story as many little metaphoric bits found its way in my writing. It actually wound up creating a big story in my head that covers pretty much all of Ephrial's tale, from just before fleeing Noxus all the way to "saving" it.

If Ephrial, by some miracle, makes it into the League as an official character, I would seriously consider writing it all out, chapter by chapter.

Thank you very much for your in-depth review and I'm very happy to hear you enjoyed his story. Lol I actually had to cut it down to size several times, both the lore and Judgement, to make them reasonable lengths. I would be glad to return the review to one, or maybe both, of your champion ideas.

Thanks again.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Angeluslight

Senior Member

12-11-2013

Quote:
Frekvin:
Yeah, your passive is a bit op, but if that's one of the ideals of your character- then you should stand by it. But be prepared for endless repeats of "that's op".

Now, as for your abilities, let me see if I have this right:
- Q to start its first stage
- E to get a dash onto the target
- Q for the hit
- W for the stun
- and then finish with the R ultimate

Seems like a decent enough kit but you have it specifically state he can use only the dash after he primes his Q- meaning your stun can only be applied after he uses it again. Not exactly a bad thing, but I just wanted to clarify that's what I see.

The only problem I have is with his W, a conic stun is pretty hardcore cc- and you have a very short range on it. He will have to be right by his enemy to hit with it, the range is barely beyond melee distance.

I made a champion myself, feel free to drop by and check him if you wish
http://forums.na.leagueoflegends.com/board/showthread.php?t=4060992




For his "perfect" combo (if this is what you were going for), it would be Q > full charge > Q > AA > E to dash through the enemy and hit from behind (or E+E fast) > AA > W > AA > R. Maybe more AAs after his ult if need be.

*** "AA" = Auto attack

There are many ways he could go about his skills, each best used for different situations and goals.

I think that's correct...? Basically, when charging Q, he cannot use any abilities other than Q to activate it again, or E for the dash-only effect.

My goal was to give him a reasonable CC, but not one with a mage-like range. Otherwise he would be able to harass early lanes way too easily. It's a unique conic skill purposely made wider than longer, reflecting on his all-in design.

It's also for that reason that his passive is the way it is. I'll probably alter it into fixed damage that grows as he levels every X amount. It's meant to give him something to compensate for sacrificing his E damage for his Q, and also for failed attempts at those skills considering this:

If he charges his Q and dashes with E, but gets stunned right after, he loses his Q AND E damage, leaving only the little stun he has. I'll do some number crunching on his passive, as well as little "situation simulations" in my mind, that would make his passive more fair. But I just want to make it clear that his passive revolves around giving him a leg to stand on if his combos go wrong. And they can and will.

Thanks for the review and I'll be glad to return it with a review on yours when I can.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Angeluslight

Senior Member

12-12-2013

Festive bump

Jingle bells
Teemo smells
Anivia laid an egg!
Bronze-tier Blitz went on the fritz
and Shaco got away,
hey!

Dashing through the lane
dodging left of Thresh's flay
glowing pink from popstar fame
/Laughing all the way!
Ha ha ha (Darius' laughs)




Okay, I'll stop now...sorry. I was bored.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Angeluslight

Senior Member

12-14-2013

Bump

Update to Ephrial's ultimate ability coming soon.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Angeluslight

Senior Member

12-14-2013

Updated and bump.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Angeluslight

Senior Member

12-15-2013

Bump


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Cryypter

Senior Member

12-15-2013

Before I begin, I just want to say that I do not mean to be harsh, but I do try to be thorough and honest.

Lore:
Starts off rather suddenly, and you kind of learn some background as it progresses, but it is hard to process. Let's see if I've got this straight. He is part Noxian, part Ionian, living near Noxus, a city-state which is persecuting his kind. He goes around helping out nearby villages, comes back to find his own under attack. His sister is killed by Warwick, who defeats him but leaves him alive. He wanders, runs into Zelos but is subsequently separated when Darius attacks. Continues to wander, runs into Riven, who he had run into before, and decides to help her. That about cover it?

Alright, first off, is this happening during the Noxus-Demacia war or the Noxus-Ionia war? If the former, there should be no prejudice against Ionians, since I doubt the Ionians would have established trade relations with the Noxians (which happened before the invasion) had they been persecuting Ionians. If the latter, why would Warwick take time out of his campaign of conquering Ionia to eliminate a small, ostensibly insignificant village almost half a continent away from the war?

Secondly, why would Darius be leading a random group of soldiers, in person, somewhere other than Ionia?

Thirdly, why would Ephrial only find out that Riven had joined the League when he went to the Institute of War? Had he not heard anything about recent events?

Overall, his lore seems very disconnected and incoherent. He has multiple goals (help Riven, kill Warwick, find Zelos), none of which he seemed too determined to complete until he reached the League, and with the exception of the last one, are based on random happenstance meetings. His lore seems more like a collection of random encounters with other Champions.


Judgement: Very different from any of the other judgements, and the reason given makes no sense. There have been plenty of Ionians who have gone through the judgement, and although many of them were more aware of the fact that the scenes were not real, none of them were so detached as to see it from third person, even Karma "The Enlightened One". Also, Ionians and Noxians are not different species. Having Noxian blood wouldn't make you any more aggressive than having Ionian blood. These traits are learned; they come from your upbringing.

Overall, the judgement doesn't really get to the heart of why he is at the League, though I feel that is mostly due to the fact that, as I mentioned before, his motivations are kind of all over the place.

Abilities:
Passive - A little unoriginal (similar to Yi's passive), but fine otherwise.

Q - Don't quite understand what the shape of this AoE looks like, specifically what area does less damage, though I also don't get why there is a region with less damage. Darius is the only one I can think of who has a similar ability, but his makes sense to me (handle not doing as much damage as the blade).

W - Very similar to Riven's W, and though by itself that's not the end of the world (there are a lot of very similar spells), in general it is not a positive.

E - Nothing really to say on this, seems good.

R - Isn't this just Vi's ult with grievous wounds tacked on? Also, why isn't his target counted as airborne?


Overall, he has little-to-no unique concepts. His abilities are slight variations on Master Yi's passive, Vi's Q, Riven's W, Riven's E, and Vi's ult. Now, a kit made up of unoriginal spells can still be innovative in the way they are used, but I don't really see much difference here between his kit and Vi or Riven's playstyle. I also realize that you designed him to be a counterpart to Riven, so some similarity is to be expected, but there should also be some novelty. Look at Nasus and Renekton. Both are melee bruisers with ults that make them larger and damage those around them. But Renekton has a much more aggressive playstyle than Nasus, which exemplifies perfectly the difference in their personalities. Renekton charges in with little forethought, hacking and slashing at anything near him. Nasus on the other hand, has a much more careful and thoughtful style (slowly building his Q damage, choosing one target to turn into a slug with his W, taking control of a large area with his E). Compared to Riven, the only real stylistic difference is that his abilities are arguably more aggressive than Riven's, but based on the lore, Riven would seem to be the more aggressive one. His abilities also have little connection to his lore, other than the fact that he uses an enchanted sword his dead father possessed, but left it for him with no way to access it.

Final Notes: It is clear you put a lot of effort into this, even just from looking at how complete the suggestion is. Most suggestions are just 4 skills and a passive, maybe with a short bio. You have all that, plus individual numbers, a judgement, quotes, appearance and personality descriptions, suggested item builds, and obviously a very developed and well thought out story about his origins and where he went from there. I have no doubt this could become something great, but in my opinion there are a few key revisions that need to take place before that can happen. My suggestion is to boil down the core identity of the champion into a single sentence ("Roy-esque counterpart to the Marth-esque Riven," for example), and then eliminate anything that distracts from this core concept. You might have to have two sentences, one for lore and one for skillset, but they should mesh well together.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Angeluslight

Senior Member

12-15-2013

Quote:
Cryypter:
Before I begin, I just want to say that I do not mean to be harsh, but I do try to be thorough and honest.

Lore:
Starts off rather suddenly, and you kind of learn some background as it progresses, but it is hard to process. Let's see if I've got this straight. He is part Noxian, part Ionian, living near Noxus, a city-state which is persecuting his kind. He goes around helping out nearby villages, comes back to find his own under attack. His sister is killed by Warwick, who defeats him but leaves him alive. He wanders, runs into Zelos but is subsequently separated when Darius attacks. Continues to wander, runs into Riven, who he had run into before, and decides to help her. That about cover it?

Alright, first off, is this happening during the Noxus-Demacia war or the Noxus-Ionia war? If the former, there should be no prejudice against Ionians, since I doubt the Ionians would have established trade relations with the Noxians (which happened before the invasion) had they been persecuting Ionians. If the latter, why would Warwick take time out of his campaign of conquering Ionia to eliminate a small, ostensibly insignificant village almost half a continent away from the war?

Secondly, why would Darius be leading a random group of soldiers, in person, somewhere other than Ionia?

Thirdly, why would Ephrial only find out that Riven had joined the League when he went to the Institute of War? Had he not heard anything about recent events?

Overall, his lore seems very disconnected and incoherent. He has multiple goals (help Riven, kill Warwick, find Zelos), none of which he seemed too determined to complete until he reached the League, and with the exception of the last one, are based on random happenstance meetings. His lore seems more like a collection of random encounters with other Champions.


Judgement: Very different from any of the other judgements, and the reason given makes no sense. There have been plenty of Ionians who have gone through the judgement, and although many of them were more aware of the fact that the scenes were not real, none of them were so detached as to see it from third person, even Karma "The Enlightened One". Also, Ionians and Noxians are not different species. Having Noxian blood wouldn't make you any more aggressive than having Ionian blood. These traits are learned; they come from your upbringing.

Overall, the judgement doesn't really get to the heart of why he is at the League, though I feel that is mostly due to the fact that, as I mentioned before, his motivations are kind of all over the place.

Abilities:
Passive - A little unoriginal (similar to Yi's passive), but fine otherwise.

Q - Don't quite understand what the shape of this AoE looks like, specifically what area does less damage, though I also don't get why there is a region with less damage. Darius is the only one I can think of who has a similar ability, but his makes sense to me (handle not doing as much damage as the blade).

W - Very similar to Riven's W, and though by itself that's not the end of the world (there are a lot of very similar spells), in general it is not a positive.

E - Nothing really to say on this, seems good.

R - Isn't this just Vi's ult with grievous wounds tacked on? Also, why isn't his target counted as airborne?


Overall, he has little-to-no unique concepts. His abilities are slight variations on Master Yi's passive, Vi's Q, Riven's W, Riven's E, and Vi's ult. Now, a kit made up of unoriginal spells can still be innovative in the way they are used, but I don't really see much difference here between his kit and Vi or Riven's playstyle. I also realize that you designed him to be a counterpart to Riven, so some similarity is to be expected, but there should also be some novelty. Look at Nasus and Renekton. Both are melee bruisers with ults that make them larger and damage those around them. But Renekton has a much more aggressive playstyle than Nasus, which exemplifies perfectly the difference in their personalities. Renekton charges in with little forethought, hacking and slashing at anything near him. Nasus on the other hand, has a much more careful and thoughtful style (slowly building his Q damage, choosing one target to turn into a slug with his W, taking control of a large area with his E). Compared to Riven, the only real stylistic difference is that his abilities are arguably more aggressive than Riven's, but based on the lore, Riven would seem to be the more aggressive one. His abilities also have little connection to his lore, other than the fact that he uses an enchanted sword his dead father possessed, but left it for him with no way to access it.

Final Notes: It is clear you put a lot of effort into this, even just from looking at how complete the suggestion is. Most suggestions are just 4 skills and a passive, maybe with a short bio. You have all that, plus individual numbers, a judgement, quotes, appearance and personality descriptions, suggested item builds, and obviously a very developed and well thought out story about his origins and where he went from there. I have no doubt this could become something great, but in my opinion there are a few key revisions that need to take place before that can happen. My suggestion is to boil down the core identity of the champion into a single sentence ("Roy-esque counterpart to the Marth-esque Riven," for example), and then eliminate anything that distracts from this core concept. You might have to have two sentences, one for lore and one for skillset, but they should mesh well together.




Lore - After a lot of revisions and then having to cut down the story to size, I guess it could use a little touching up to explain the time frame.

Quote:
He is part Noxian, part Ionian, living near Noxus, a city-state which is persecuting his kind. He goes around helping out nearby villages, comes back to find his own under attack. His sister is killed by Warwick, who defeats him but leaves him alive. He wanders, runs into Zelos but is subsequently separated when Darius attacks. Continues to wander, runs into Riven, who he had run into before, and decides to help her. That about cover it?


Before the Ionian invasion
- Yes, he's half Noxian and half Ionian that wound up living not too close to Noxus, but I can't say it's that far either. He traveled a fair bit between villages of the midlands of Valoran.

Upon returning, he gets knocked out in the fight with Warwick. My explanation of Ephrial's living from that comes from Warwick's lore, that basically states he was testing out and getting used to his new form. Granted he would usually kill his targets, but Ephrial was fighting, not running, living by getting more paw than claw on his face, leaving him only with a small scar. So it wasn't that he intentionally let him live so much as he's still getting used to having longer appendages, leaving him to die in the burning hamlet, and partially distracted by (spoiler. Not really.) failing to capture another specimen alive.

Not too long into his solo journey, and not too far from his former home, he runs into Zelos (Irelia's brother, whom is stated to have left to seek Demacia's help immediately before Noxus' invasion on Ionia.

As the invasion was just beginning - After traveling for a distance together, it's possible that they ran into Darius because of a power struggle happening between the High Command of Noxus. Swain was turned to inactive duty just before the invasion, and since it was far from a secret that Darius is his biggest supporter, it's very possible that Darius was not part of the initial phase of the invasion.

After getting separated, much longer into his journey, he met Riven for the first time. After more long journeying, he finds himself at the Institute and sees Riven as one of the League's champions.



Quote:
Alright, first off, is this happening during the Noxus-Demacia war or the Noxus-Ionia war? If the former, there should be no prejudice against Ionians, since I doubt the Ionians would have established trade relations with the Noxians (which happened before the invasion) had they been persecuting Ionians.


This would start in between stretching to after the Ionian invasion. Most of the towns Ephrial visited in his earliest journeys were scared from the Noxus-Demacia war, which was mentioned in the first line of the lore.

Yes, the Ionians did have trade routes and were attacked at their main trade posts at night. However, my introducing a growing prejudice towards Ionians, with a bit of emphasis on Noxian-Ionian mix, was aimed to give a little bit more of a reason to such an attack. The aggression was gradual, so it didn't get too violent until much later. My explanation would be that Noxians got upset at Ionian parents making the future generation of citizens weak. Being a nation of pacifism, I doubt Ionia would have closed trade-routes right away until just before the invasion, which they had to have had some clue since Irelia's lore states that Zelos left prior to the attack.

Quote:
If the latter, why would Warwick take time out of his campaign of conquering Ionia to eliminate a small, ostensibly insignificant village almost half a continent away from the war?


Warwick was not deployed until the later phases of the Ionian invasion when Noxus employed the Zaun mercenaries because of growing Ionian resistance. This would give him time to attack the village which was just before the invasion even began. Why, you ask? Well...something to do with his friend Singed and his job pertaining to (mostly human) "specimens."

I know I explained Darius' possible availability earlier, but just to recap: there's not much specific detail about the active duty of some of the commanders of Noxus's army prior to the invasion, meaning Darius could have just been on his way back to Noxus from a previous mission and was called to answer Ionia's growing forces, probably just before they called for Zaun.

Quote:
Thirdly, why would Ephrial only find out that Riven had joined the League when he went to the Institute of War? Had he not heard anything about recent events?


Well Ephrial spent a long time journeying alone. After losing his comrades and Zelos, he went solo and didn't stay around one place for too long. Sure he would have heard about Riven with talks about the invasion reaching to the mainland. However, she was also counted dead during her encounter with Singed. Meeting her for the first time, he wouldn't have guessed that a lone, wandering soldier, especially one he saw lacking spirit, was her. Not to mentioned he never got her name. It wasn't until he saw her, not heard about her, at the Institute of War that he could know she was Riven. His main focus at the time was finding Warwick, so he'd probably be asking about him instead of her.

Quote:
Overall, his lore seems very disconnected and incoherent. He has multiple goals (help Riven, kill Warwick, find Zelos), none of which he seemed too determined to complete until he reached the League, and with the exception of the last one, are based on random happenstance meetings. His lore seems more like a collection of random encounters with other Champions.


Well, after shortening the lore quite a bit, I can't blame you for not getting the timeline down for sure. I do plan on fixing that, as a previous poster actually said the lore limit was about 600. I just haven't had too much time to focus on that with holiday plans and other little edits.

His first two goals are correct, however he is not out to find Zelos. It slightly better explains that in the Judgement story where it says that Zelos is "counted as a loss," even though Ephrial doesn't know for sure. This would at least give a reason for his disappearance described in Irelia's lore.

Yeah, I definitely did wind up giving him a lot of encounters. That wasn't really the goal, but it just happened in my endeavor to give him Noxian and Ionian ties to better set a scene for his character. It started to turn for even further character development in the future, perhaps if Zelos is ever made into a champion, for champions other than just Ephrial himself. In other words: lore expansion which could fit entirely new champions with deeper connections to the LoL world.

Quote:
Judgement: Very different from any of the other judgements, and the reason given makes no sense. There have been plenty of Ionians who have gone through the judgement, and although many of them were more aware of the fact that the scenes were not real, none of them were so detached as to see it from third person, even Karma "The Enlightened One". Also, Ionians and Noxians are not different species. Having Noxian blood wouldn't make you any more aggressive than having Ionian blood. These traits are learned; they come from your upbringing.


Well that was just me, I guess. I wanted to do something a little different from the Judgements since it's overall an optional thing. It could be formatted to first-person and convey the same things with some work, but I rather just keep it as is since Riot can change it a bit if they want to (if they take Ephrial at all, that is).

Quote:
That was the benefit of being half Noxian and half Ionian, raised in both ways. Strength of body, strength of mind - force of hand, force of will. Other than that, his blood has been nothing but a curse to him.


It's clear in the first part that whatever aggressive ways he has in him is a trait taught by Noxian principle. The "other than that" part about his blood is just saying other than having a Noxian father and an Ionian mother that taught him to be strong in different ways, his being in-between them has caused him nothing but trouble.

Quote:
Overall, the judgement doesn't really get to the heart of why he is at the League, though I feel that is mostly due to the fact that, as I mentioned before, his motivations are kind of all over the place.


Well, he only has two intentions and they are stated directly, but I can see how the directness faded off slightly during shortening revisions on that, too. I'll work on that when I have the time as well, but to make things a bit more clear on why he would help Riven is that Ephrial would not allow himself to hate all of Noxus despite what they've done because that would make him stereotype all of Noxians, which is a root of prejudice. Not to mention that he had to have some friends when he was young and still living in the city-state. Also, he's appreciative about seeing a Noxian, especially of her stature and fame, turn to stop senseless slaughtering. His intention with Warwick is pretty evident as it is.

I'll try to work on clarifying stuff, but as far as all the research I've done for this, I think everything fits within canon lore and timeline.


Passive - Perhaps, but he needed something to help slightly in between cooldowns, especially if his Q + dash goes wrong.

Q - That would be a rectangular-shaped AOE, which I'll go and add that part to make it more clear. The ranges and all the necessary information seems to be there, labeling the minimum/maximum ranges and damage via charge. The less damage part is for 2 reasons: 1) Balance as a part of his "give and take" kit combos and using no resource. 2) A little reference to his main inspiration.


E - Thanks

R - I ran through quite a few different variations of his ults, the goal being to reflect on his character while giving him a redeeming factor against high CC, even if it's his longest CD. Yeah, it wound up resembling Vi's a bit, but without a knockback + damage effect. Originally, it was supposed to be a leap, but none of those variations looked too appealing. The target does go airborne, but the goal was to not let it be open to an ability, such as Yasuo's ultimate, to make it super OP. So, yeah, kind of like Vi's ult, but faster and with less damage. And flashier. Lol

So much has been done in the game already that it's hard to make up something truly unique as well as fair for the design and lane. Actually, I recall reading some guide that said something exactly like that. Let's take Ephrial's Q for example. Yes, charge abilities have been done before via Vi and Varus, but those are just 2 abilities compared to something like all the stuns many collective champions have. In Ephrial's case, his Q does not push him forward at all. If he wants to do something similar like that, he'll have to use his E for the dash while charging his Q to get maximum damage out of it. Different situations would call for different skill combos, such as making the player have to decide if he'll want to use his W or sacrifice his E for a good hit with his Q. Or if he wants to start with a Q, W and then E to make use of the armor reduction effect.

Personally, I think that the availability of more than 1 viable combo covers the innovative part of his skillset. As for playstyle, he's definitely an all-in champion, but not with as much defensive power as Riven or Vi, and his Q,W,E abilities to require him to get close and be more precise than with target or full-circle AOEs.

Personality-wise, it would reflect on Ephrial's willpower and physical power. The part of him not being that aggressive with champions not listed as his rivals pertains to genuine anger. He's still there to fight, after all, with him being "not quite the pacifist like his sister." I think Riven would still be far more aggressive considering her combo has more burst potential, especially with her ult, and lasts a lot longer.

Riven - (Ult on) Q, auto, Q, auto, Q, auto, W, auto, E, auto, Wind Slash [11 attacks]
vs
Ephrial - Q (full charge), auto, W, auto, E, auto (passive), R [7 attacks]

(Both combos under "perfect" circumstances. Riven's passive makes each of those auto attacks more powerful as opposed to Ephrial's 1 bonus per combo cooldown.)

Not every lore has specific details about attack style. Some just go with what the character is rather than who. In this case, it's mentioned that Ephrial takes on multiple foes at once, specifically in the lore and Judgement where Zelos is mentioned. His sword mainly emphasizes that with his AOE abilities and reflects on his spirit when it flares up.


A lot sure did go into all of this. It's my first character concept, not to mention my first forum post here, but I really did want to make something solid. Yes, I can agree with revisions to clear up parts around the lore as much of it was cut to make it a reasonable length. I just haven't had too much time to focus on edits like that which require so much detail to think about at once yet. I'll see about shortening his quick explanation, too, in order to keep the focus on his character.

Thanks for taking the time to review.