It's Complicated: P1
- Several weeks before the whole Shen situation happened, Ezreal is just enjoying a nice day off with his two BFF's, Akali and Sona, at the local mall. -
Ezreal: Oh boy, I can't believe I finally found this dye for my hair. It's sooooo my colour.
Akali: I can't believe you dye your hair. I almost had a heart attack when you told me.
Ezreal: Yeah... most guys in the League think Im just a natural blonde, but, who cares? As long as the illusion works, Im fine with my little secret.
Sona: (Excited) Oh guys, guys! I heard they're having a major guitar sale over here somewhere. Please, please come with me, I need to find a cool guitar for "Pentakill".
Ezreal: Yuck, you still with that? I tought you were gonna drop "Pentakill" to apply for musical school.
Sona: Yeah... I changed my mind.
Akali: And a guitar? Don't you play the keyboard?
Sona: (Blushing) Well... it's not for me, actually.
Ezreal: Nooooo.... you and Mordekaiser?! Shut up!
Sona: Hey, cut it out. You don't know him, he can be a real gentleman when no one's looking.
Akali: So can Cho Gath, but he'd still eat you, you know?
Sona: (Pissed) Oh shut up! You're just jealous my man actually realizes I exist!
Akali: What did you just...?
Ezreal: Whoa, whoa, relax girls. We're here to shop, so, if Sonnie want's to shop for guitars, then it's cool by me. I'm in.
Sona: Really!? Oooh Ezreal, you're a real friend.
Akali: (Jealous) Well, if we're shopping for guitars you might as well come with me. I heard they're selling a terrific bra over there I really want to try out.
Ezreal: (Laughing) It doesn't matter how cool it is, it won't give you boobs Aki!
Sona: Yep, true thing. Lucky for me I got blessed with these (caresses her chest).
Akali: Oh yea? Well, I don't need boobs to get some guy's attention, thank you.
Sona: Sure you don't (giggles).
Akali: Oh, shut up.
Ezreal: Hey, isn't that Olaf over there?
- Olaf is in front of a window, checking something out. Ezreal calls out for him and he turns around -
Ezreal: Hey O, what's happening?
Olaf: Hey Ez, how are you?
Akali: (To Sona) How come HE knows Olaf?
Sona: (To Akali) Beats me, maybe they hooked up before, who knows.
Olaf: Hi girls.
- Akali and Sona look back at Olaf, blushing and nervous -
Girls: H-- H--- Hi!
Ezreal: Geez, get a grip already. You're drooling all over the place.
Girls: We're not! (Embarrased they look away)
Ezreal: So, whatcha looking at?
Olaf: Oh, some home-welcoming gift. I'll have a visitor arriving at my place in a few days.
Ezreal: (Interested) Reaaaaaaally?
Olaf: Come on, dude!
Ezreal: Ups, sorry. The habit.
Olaf: Well, he's a cousin of mine who used to live up in the mountains, with the rest of the clan. He's coming for an internship over here at SpinToWin College to study engeneering or something, so my parents called and asked me to host for him for a few months.
Ezreal: And do you know this guy?
Olaf: Nope, not really, but they are all pretty much the same, you know; barbarians with long, blonde beards and big nasty axes. Apparently, this one is suppoused to be the "brains" of the family, but I'm not sure my family has any brains. Not inside their heads at least.
Ezreal: And what are you looking for, specifically?
Olaf: I don't know... an ax? A helmet? Something like that I guess.
Ezreal: Aren't you a soft one. I'll tell you what, I'm on a shopping spree with the girls right now. Why don't you go home, and I'll buy your cousin something nice that says "Welcome home" in big old barbarian fashion, eh?
Olaf: (Not sure) I don't know... I don't want him to be dressed after some anime, you know.
Ezreal: (Offended) Olaf! Don't you know me? I have flawless taste, even for hillbilly standards. Leave it in my hands, rest assure I won't be picking a pink scarf for him.
Olaf: Thank you man. I appreciate it. Tell you what, there will be a big party happening at Warwick's place tomorrow night, why don't you all come and I'll introduce you to my cousin, whatcha say?
Girls: (Shouting like mermaids) YAAAAAAAAAAY!
Ezreal: Uhm, sure, It sounds good I guess, but your buds... well, they don't really like me much, you know?
Olaf: Chill man, you'll be with the big O, I'll take care of you.
Ezreal: (Relieved) Okay then, it's a deal. See you tomorrow.
Olaf: Cool. (At the girls) Bye girls, see you tomorrow.
Girls: (Drooling) Ba-bai, ba-bai...
- Olaf leaves, whistling some lumberjack melody on his way out -
Akali: (Confident and serious all of a sudden) Ok bitc h, you've got some explaining to do!
Sona: (Jealous) How come you know and act all friendly around THE Olaf?
Ezreal: What about that?
Akali: What about tha....? Are you kidding me? "The big O", "The lady-killer", "The Kama Master"?
Ezreal: I think he uses an ax to fight...
Akali: No those kamas, moron. Kama-Sutra "kama".
Akali: Tell me the truth... did you ever...? (Can't finish the sentence)
Ezreal: (Disgusted) What?! No, no, nothing like that! Eeew girls, what's with you today? Olaf and I happened to be neighbors when we we're kids and we just got along really good. He's a funny guy and we lived next door to each other for like twelve years, that's all.
Sona: So you never....?
Ezreal: No perv, I've never laid a finger on your precious macho stereotype. We're childhood friends, that's all. Also, whatever happened to you and Mordekaiser? And what about Shen?
Akali: Yeah, I love Shen-sempai. He can take me to a nice fancy dinner while Olaf rocks my world on the sack (giggles).
Ezreal: You girls scare me.
Akali: (Sighting something) UH-OH! Lingerie! Sona, come with me, I need you to tell me if these new panties I want fit me well.
Sona: (Leaving Ezreal behind and chasing after Akali) You don't have a butt either!!
Ezreal: (Meditating) Now, now... What would be a good house warming gift? Maybe something.... pink?
Its Complicated: P2
- The next night, Ezreal and the girls arrive at Warwick's house, wich happened to be a really old manor from Clasical Demacian Era, outside of the city -
Sona: (Looking at the house and amazed) Whoooa. For whatever reason, I always thought Warwick lived like, in a cave or a tent or something.
Akali: Yeah... talk about spending money.
- Inside the house the party has already started. Loud electro music is being played. At the door Olaf is waiting for them. As he sees them, he waves -
Olaf: (Happy) Guys, you came!
Girls: (Drooling) Su....sure! Wouldn't have missed it for the world!
Ezreal: (Uncomfortable) Hey O, are you sure about this?
Olaf: About what?
Ezreal: Me being here... I mean, I think I don't really belong here.
Olaf: (Passes his arm around his neck) Stop being a wuss already! You're with "The Big O", nothing's gonna happen to you.
- Pantheon and Xin Zhao spot Ezreal in the front door and go outside -
Pantheon: Hey, look who's here.
Xin Zhao: I didn't know Warwick invited some hoes to the party.
Pantheon: Good one man! High five!
Xin Zhao: Ahahaha (high fives Pantheon) You better scram, sissy, we're already packed with girls!
Pantheon: Yeah..! Yeah! Scram or...
Olaf: (Confronting them) Or what?
Pantheon: (Quiet all of a sudden)
Xin Zhao: Hey O, stay out of it. This has nothing to do with you.
Olaf: Oh yeah?
Pantheon: Yeah dude, leave your girlfriend stand up for herself!
Akali: (Pissed) Pantheon, you stupid piece of...
Olaf: You know what? I might just do that. But before, I think I'm gonna have some old school viking action (picks up his axe and starts flailing it around) What do you say guys? Ready for some burning, raping and murdering? That's my people's definition of a good party.
Pantheon: (Intimidated) Cut it out already! You know Warwick is very strict about people messing with his collectables.
Xin Zhao: (Misundertands) OH SNAP!
Pantheon: (At Xin) Snap... what?
Xin Zhao: Oh, sorry. My bad.
Olaf: (Puts his axe down) Ok, let's do this then. You leave my friend alone and I promise I won't tell anyone about that time you tried to pull up a gank with a Skyfall and ended up falling flat on your face instead, deal?
Xin Zhao: (Amused as hell) He did what?! Oh boy, wait till the bros hear about this! (Goes back inside) Hey, hey Udyr, guess who failed his "super macho move" miserably the other day?
- As Xin comes back in, laughs explode -
Pantheon: (Annoyed) Thank you a lot O! Now they won't leave me alone for a week. As shole.
- Pantheon comes back in. As soon as he appears, several "faaaaaaaaaaaaailllllllllll droooooooooop"s start to be heard all around the place -
Ezreal: Thank you man.
Olaf: It's all cool. Come inside, I want to introduce you to my cousin.
- The four of them go inside the place, wich is filled by thick smoke and heavy music. As they approach the bar, Olaf stops behind a blonde, big fella with a beer hat and a two color polo shirt -
Olaf: (Shouting) Dude, turn around, would ya'? There are some people I want you to meet.
- The man turns around. He looks a lot like Olaf, except for his weird casual outfit and a stupid grin constantly smirked on his mouth -
Olaf: Guys, meet Brolaf. Brolaf, these are the guys.
Brolaf: (Looking at Sona) Whoa, what an inmense pleasure (kisses her hand in a very ridiculous way) Enchanté my good lady.
Sona: (Mesmerized) ....Be the father of my children.....
Brolaf: What's that?
Sona: (Embarrassed) I mean... nice to meet you.
Brolaf: (Looking back at Akali) And what have we got here? Heaven must be a very lousy place if they keep losing their angels like this.
Akali: (Out of words) I...ughh... a... (giggles).
Brolaf: (All a player, with his arms around them) Can I get you something to get you drunk?
Girls: (Completely careless) Yesss pleasssseeee!
Brolaf: Or maybe we could play something that will get you drunk without you noticing, uh? What about that?
Girls: Yesssss pleassssssee!
Olaf: (He holds his cousin's arm) Hey, don't forget about him. He's Ezreal, a buddy of mine. He got you a house warming present.
Ezreal: (Uncomfortable, nervous and a bit attracted) I... I got you.... welcome to Demacia!
- Ezreal gives Brolaf a nice little box tightly wraped with a blue ribbon on top. Unsure of what to expect, Brolaf opens it. A tiny crystal bottle is in there. He looks back at Ezreal, completely speechless -
Ezreal: (Explaining) It's a perfume. Eau de Timó. It's really exclusive, only celebs like Phreak and Morello use it. It was really hard to find, and its suppoused to suit the hard working guy who also wants to get noticed while kicking some serious ass!
- Brolaf doesn't say a word. Instead, he just drops the bottle to the ground and gives Ezreal his back -
Olaf: (Pissed) Hey man, what are you doing? It was a gift, show some respect!
Brolaf: (Drinks his beer in one sip) Respect? Respect? How can you tell me that? I come here to meet your buddies and have a good time and you show up with this fairy? Do your parents know with what kind of crowd you've been hanging with? Dude, I feel repulsed by you. You ashame our clan. And you (looks at Ezreal) get the fuc k out of my sight if you don't want me to turn your ass crack into your new spine.
- Brolaf leaves. The girls go after him like they're under a spell -
Olaf: (Ashamed) Ez... I'm sorry, I... I didn't know he would be like that.
Ezreal: (Trying not to make a big deal out of it) It's ok, it's ok, don't beat youself about it.
Olaf: No, it's not ok. I don't know what is it with my family. They're just a bunch of... morons! They don't trust anything they don't know beforehand, and everything they don't know is either an "abomination" or part of "the devil's work". I'm sorry, seriously. This guy is suppoused to be the brains of the family, you know, coming here to study an all that... But I'm not sure my family has any brains at all now. Not in their heads at least. (Meditates for a second) But this is wrong. I'm bringing him so he apologizes to you.
Ezreal: (A bit flattered) No O, leave it at that. I'm used to being treated this way, and I already have enough problems with the people at the League as it is...
Sion: (Interrupting, at the distance) Faaaaaaaaaaaa.......gggggggooooooot!
- Laughs -
Ezreal: (Smiles) You see? Anyway, I don't want to have baggage with the newcomer too, so, let's give it a rest.
Olaf: This sucks, dude. Here, let me buy you a drink, it's the least I can do. What are you drinking?
Ezreal: Oh, a Cosmo would be nice.
Olaf: You got it. Hey, Singed.
- Singed it's at the bar, working to get some bucks to pay for his bills -
Singed: Yo-oh-big-O, whatcha' drinkin' my man?
Olaf: A Cosmo for my bud here and I'll want a big bowl of bearr blood mixed with some scotch, ok?
Singed: Sure thing! (Pours two glasses of the exact same taste and look out of his gigantic back bottle) Here ya' go.
- 6:33 am. The party is starting to end. A lot of people have already gone home or are asleep in the different rooms of the house. After a few too many Cosmos, Ezreal is starting to feel a little bit tipsy -
Ezreal: (Drunk as hell) I... I .... *hic*.... I think I should get goinnnn...
Olaf: (Sober as a nun) Yeah, this party is starting to blow off. I'll call you a cab. Go pick the girls and meet me outside, ok?
Ezreal: Oggie-- doggie.
- Ezreal starts wandering around the house in a very zig zaggy way. He opens a lot of doors, but besides founding all Warwick, Gangplank and Urgot sleeping very at peace on the same bed, he is unable to find anything relevant regarding her friends -
Ezreal: I bet they're... they're at the pool having a good topless night swim... th.... those hoes...
- Ezreal goes outside but its dark and no one's there. Before coming in again, he hears someone sobbing in a corner, and decides to take a look -
Ezreal: (Tripping every two steps) Aggali? Is that ,,,you? (getting closer) Loog, Xhen isn't here, so why don't you stop your whinning so wggee can go goo....
- When he is very close, Ezreal notices is not Akali on the septs, but Brolaf. He, too, is really drunk, and have major signs of having cried all over his face. -
Ezreal: (Scared) Oh, oh... Im... Im sorry, I didn't mean to... I'm sorry.
Brolaf: (Still sobbing) She... she isn't here.
Ezreal: (Starting to sober up out of the scare) Akali? Yeah, I see that now... Maybe she's puking somewhere inside... I think I'll better chek out...
Ezreal: (Cofnused) What?
Brolaf: Blanchie isn't here. They tol... told me*hic*... she was working at the League, so I applied for an internship here, but no matter how much I ask of her, no one seems to know her. I cam... came here to be... to be together, and now she's probably gone... I... I don't know what to do.
- For some reason, Ezreal starts to feel sorry for the guy, and sits by his side, trying to comfort him
Ezreal: Shush, shush, now. (Pats him in the head and passes his arm around his neck) Demacia is a big place and you still haven't met everyone on the League. Give it some time, it might turn around before you expect it.
- Brolaf bursts into tears and hides his face in Ezreal's shoulder. He can feel his warm alcoholic breath rising up, but still, holds him like a big baby and tries to hug him as much as possible. For some reason, he feels at ease -
Ezreal: There, there, let it all out...
Brolaf: (A bit more calm, but still seriously drunk) Than... thank you. I needed that.
Ezreal: I know, we all do from time to time, it's just natural to---
- All of a sudden, Brolaf rises his head and puts his lips over Ezreal's. He, shocked and paralyzed, is unable to do anything other than just remain there, hold his breath and look at the starry night. After a very long kiss, Brolaf open his eyes, looks at Ezreal, and then jumps up and dissapears faster than a Kennen in cooldown. Ezreal doesn't move for about two minutes, eyes wide open, staring into nothingness. After a while, Akali shows up -
Akali: (Wasted) Ezzzzzzzz we're gooooooinnnnnn nowwwwwww.... Get ... get here already! Cab's waiting on us....
- Ezreal gets up and walks by like a zombie -
Akali: Whaddafu ck happened... to *hic* you?
Ezreal: (Out of himself) I have absolutely no idea.
Pantheon: soo...why was he arrested?
Yi: apparently he was caught with narcotics...poor little guy...must have been caught up in the wrong crowd.
Pantheon: nah, he's always been a little drugo, have you seen them things, he just leaves them lying around, if you ask me he deserves to be arrested.
Yi: Yeah...but did you really have to stuff him in the mailbox?
Pantheon: I just wanted to see if he could fit...too bad about his spine...
Yi: yeah...You know, considering the sorts of stuff we do to him, I'm not surprised he turned to drugs...
Pantheon: yeah...remember the time we buried him in a red ant nest while he slept?
Yi: yeah, and covered him in honey...classic... you know...maybe we should apologize...we have been kinda mean
Pantheon: oooorrr, we could tie him up and throw him into fiddlesticks room!
Yi: *laughing* Good Idea...I'll get the rope!
(after tying him up they were standing outside fiddlesticks room)
Yi: hmm...are we going too far on this one do you think? I mean, people have died in there...
Pantheon: No, Going to far would be to do this, *covers him in honey, drops fire ants on him, then rolls him in the room*
Yi: *laughing* Nice one, come on lets go.
(a day later)
Pantheon: Wasn't there something we were meant to do?
Yi: hmm...Oh SH-IT, TEEMO!
Loan Sharking is a Philosophy: P1
Yi: hey Urgot ya fat freak!
Urgot: Uhh...Yi umm..
Yi: wheres my money!?
Urgot: Uhh, I don't have it here with em right now...I swear I'll get it to you soon!
Yi: I've given you enough chances, don't make me wait urgot!
Urgot: Dude, I'm in a bad place right now, I haven't won a match in a month!
Yi: look, Get it to me tomorrow or *slides the tip of his sword under one of Urgots stitches, almost cutting it*
Urgot: ACK! Okay okay! I'll have it to you in twelve hours!
Pantheon: (who had been watching the entire time) Man...I've never seen you like that.
Yi: Yeah, but honestly he owes me a lot of money.
Pantheon: I thought Shen had your money?
Yi: yes, then he gave it to urgot who lost it remember? I've already explained all this.
Pantheon: So...do I get to go captain Ahab on that white whale if he doesn't pay up?
Yi: hmm...Or we could re-introduce him to garen.
Pantheon: remind me never to not pay you back, okay?
Yi: It's safer just not to borrow the money really. The Wuju style code dictates that we must be loan sharks.
Pantheon: wow...I guess you learn something new everyday...wait...wouldn't that mean your whole village would be loan sharks?
Yi: Well yes, I can tell you, many many med died in fights over money. In fact that's how my home was destroyed...
Pantheon: I thought Noxus destroyed it?
Yi: only because the whole village was in civil war due to many loans taken out from all around, one man would borrow money from a man who would borrow money to give to the first guy, from a man who would borrow money to give to the second guy, to give to the first guy and so on and so fourth.
Pantheon: wow...Well...that's why your style is worse than mine.
Yi: you have a style?
Yi: Cool, what is it?
Yi: that's not a style.
Pantheon: Your right...more of a philosophy.
Yi: No, Rambo was a person. And not a good one either, following his style would not be a good idea.
Pantheon: okay, I'll use Leeroy Jenkins style, but I'll add a bit of your loan sharking into my philosophy. That sounds like fun.
Yi: *sighs*...that's a person, and anyway, he got himself killed. And all his friends!
Pantheon: Yeah...he was awesome. The way I see it, he has two thi-
Yi: Nope, I'm going.
Pantheon: okay, cya tomorrow, we have a match together. Oh yeah and I'll add a bit of your loan sharking into my philosophy. That sounds like fun.
Loan Sharking is a Philosophy: P2
Yi: Where's my money!?
Urgot: I swear, something came up!
Yi: *smashing him in the face with the handle of his sword* WHERE'S MY MONEY!?
Urgot: The banks closed an-
Yi: *slicing one of his scars open* I want my Godd amn money!
Urgot: *screams* I don't have it I swear!
Yi: I don't care if you don't have it! I want my freaking money! wait...wait...is that a...it is! it's a Brutalizer! how much was that!? *Smashing him in the face with a branch*
Yi: You have money for Brutalizers, but you don't have my money!? *pulls out a hextech gun blade and shoots two of his legs out*
Urgot: Arrgh, your a freaking maniac!
Yi: Wheres my money! *shoots his fuel tank causing it to explode, setting urgot on fire*
Urgot:P *screaming* My god! what the hell is wrong with you!? Your Insane!!
Yi: I want my godda mn money! *clubbing him one last time*
Urgot: okay.... okay...let's go find Doran...
Pantheon: (who had been watching the whole thing) Dude...I feel like I should be taking notes..that was brutal...I think I've just decided, that is definitely going in my Style. And...hey has...has veigar got popcorn...dude that little midget is hardcore!
Enjoying lunch at the mall
Akali: Son-Son, why aren't you eating? Gotta enjoy not having to chug down potions and elixir swhile you can!
Sona's mind clearly wasn't there, rather, she was staring into the distance.
Sona's etwahl, even though not actually alive, definitely had a connection with' her mind. Sensing something amiss, the etwahl switch from playing a suite of smooth jazz to an attention grabbing note.
Sona sprang to attention, but was obviously peeved at her etwahl. She made a mental note to clean the etwahl later - painfully.
Akali: Hey - you're etwahl is freakin' out, Son! You there?
Sona: *scrambles to grab her etwahl, and plays an upbeat tune*
Ezreal: Eat your food, dude - you can stare at the popular kids later!
Sona: *Shoots Ezreal a look before making her etwahl play another jazz arrangement.*
The popular kids all hang out in Noxus, or N.O.X., as they nicknamed it; and most had great influence. Rumors also abound in what they do to stay on top- the wildest parties, drugs, and other things the mind couldn't imagine...
Akali: Ez is right, anyway, don't you and Morde hang out anymore?
Sona: *Unable to think of a tune to play to express 'it's complicated', nods her head no*
Ezreal: You're in Pentakill together, how bad could it be between you two?
Signing deeply, Sona puts her hand on Ezreal's signaling him to drop it. She decides to finally put some food on her stomach despite thinking out Pentakill - it brought back memories, not necessarily all good. Unconsciously, her etwahl started playing a vivid piece detailing what had happened between the two.
Ezreal: *whispering* A.K., are you seeing this?
Akali: *whispering* I'm seeing it, but I'm not believing it...
Not only was the piece hauntingly beautiful, it created literal images of what had happened:
The piece started happy, Sona met Mordekaiser by them happeneing to bump into one another. Neither was all that eloquent in speech, but that one touch was all they needed to know about one another. Mordekaiser could telll what the etwahl did, and Sona could sense how Metal he was(not literally). From that point on they spent what seemed to be ages together - but something happened at their first show. The audience wasn't just screaming their heads off, the groupies backstage called "Mordie"(At least, she called him that in her head) Master. And then, the Journal of Justice came out:
"My fans. I am drawn to their disease."
What did that mean? This wasn't good. They soon discovered their music was no longer harmonic, but dissonant. Just like when they met, no words were exchanged. Mordekaiser took off his helm, and they shared one last embrace.
Ezreal and Akali both screamed: OMG! That's OSCAR-WORTHY! So...SAD!
Sona, sprung out of her daze by no longer lost in thought realized what happened. The entire cafeteria, including the N.O.X. table had seen her etwahl's little 'performance'. Extremely embarrassed, she struck her etwahl and ordered it to take her to the nearest woman's bathroom.
'Well, well, what do we have here?' A voice remarked.
Even being mute, crying is something easy to identify. Locked in the stall with her throat inflamed, her eyes red, and face salty, she couldn't see the person attached to the voice that was speaking to her.
'So I guess you're just going to cry until you flood the bathroom, sweetie?' the voiced prodded.
Though Sona was in no shape to be seen, she needed shoulder to lean on and Ezreal and Akali were nowhere to be found. Jerks.
She opened the stall's door, and found an elegant figure. Her stave was just as striking, and her...revealing(to say the least)...dress? There were so many holes and so little fabric that it wasn't worth contemplating anymore.
'The name's Leblanc, dearest. And you should tell me yours or I'll be forced to call you...'
Leblanc notes the figure before her, even though this angelic figure had been crying hard for the better part of the hour, her stained dress could not blemish her hourglass figure and silken, blue-
Sona, unable to tell Leblanc her name, went to embrace her. Needless to say, Leblanc was now a mess as well.
Laughing, with a smile Leblanc stated:'I didn't plan on entering the wet t-shirt contest...today'
Sona, unable to tell Leblanc her name or what happened, brought a forced smile to her face and just enjoyed the embrace.
Leblanc: Don't worry about it dearest, I do laundry every day anyways. Wait, no, that's kind of insensitive. Right - you're crying. It's okay, love. I saw what happened, and I'll have you know that Mordekaiser didn't deserve you at all!
Sona, slightly shocked felt a tight, reciprocal embrace from Leblanc. Now Sona remembered...Leblanc was one of the popular kids! Her new friend was someone who was 'in'!
Leblanc: Don't worry about that metal lunk, he only thinks armor-deep; shallow in more than one sense...
Leblanc chuckled to herself.
But no, Leblanc was from NOX. Truly, this was a once in a lifetime occurance. Once Sona went back to the mall, she wasn't going to have access to the Nox table! Matter of fact, Leblanc would probably be the one to berate her for trying to sit with the NOX!
Guy's Night Out
-Pantheon, Yi, and Brolaf are having drinks at the Dungeon-
Brolaf: How are you and the P*ssy doing bro?
Yi: Wow, could you not call her that, its just wrong.
Brolaf: *gives Yi a confused look* What? That’s what she is!
Pantheon: *grins* I don't know what those cougars taught her in the Jungle, but in bed she is… wow! She does thing...
Yi: *interrupting* WOAH!
Yi: Ever hear of kiss and don't tell?
Brolaf: *stare at him blankly*
Pantheon: *stare at him blankly*
Yi: *looking at Pantheon* Do you two have an actual relationship, yet? Talking, dinner, dancing… *getting no response* …anything!?
Pantheon: *thinks for a moment* She did say I owe her a Seafood dinner...
Yi: So she likes seafood! Anything else?
Brolaf: *interrupting* BORING BRO! *looks at Pantheon* She do anything with that Javelin of hers? *grinning*
Pantheon: DUDE! *excited* She Pole dances with it and...
Yi: *interrupting again* Seriously!? You two have nothing in common other than se-x?
Pantheon: *shrugs* She says a relationship doesn't need anything more than hunting, cuddling, and se-x.
Mordekaiser: *solemnly* You're the luckiest guy in the world.
-The 3 of them look over to see Mordekaiser drinking alone at a table behind them, wearing the look of amazement-
Mordekaiser: All Sona does is play her *sneers the word* feelings all day long on that **** etwahl. *whines* I have a headache.
Brolaf: *motioning Udyr* Need a round of 4 more!
Udyr: *nods his head and places the beer before Brolaf*
Brolaf: Come on ova bro! *motioning Mordekaiser to join them at the bar*
Mordekaiser: Thanks *takes a seat next to Brolaf and grabbing his beer*
Yi: Sona is just...
Mordekaiser: *grumbles* Enough about that
Brolaf: Yea bro, back to the crazy cat lady. How crazy is she? *grinning*
Mordekaiser: *leans in closer interested*
Yi: *shaking his head*
Pantheon: For 4 hours last night she...
-A loud but consistent knocking behind the wooden bar grabs their attention. The 4 of them lean over the bar and look down-
Brolaf: *shouts* BRO! ARE YOU SELF-HELPING DOWN THERE?
Yi: *shouts* WHAT THE HELL DUDE!? PULL YOUR DRESS BACK DOWN!
Mordekaiser: *grumbles* My headache just got worse.
Pantheon: I'm never drinking here again... *putting his drink down and wiping his hands*
-Udyr stands up embarrassed and runs off to the bathroom-
League of Hats: P1
Pantheon: Yi, my man.
Yi: (takes a deep breath)
Pantheon: Why does everyone else get all the girls? I don't get it. What do they have that I don't?
Yi: *incredibly frustrated* Have you really not noticed it?
Pantheon: Man there's no need to be rude, it hurts when friends are being rude. You know? Don't do that.
Yi: Sorry man, wasn't my intention. So you haven't noticed it yet?
Pantheon: Ah dammit man stop going in circles. Give it to me straight. What haven't I noticed?
Yi: Well... okay to be quite frank, everyone but you have funny hats or weird hair. You just have a full face helmet. Chicks don't dig that. They dig funny hats.
Pantheon: Wow I really didn't think about that. **** it's so obvious now that you mention it!
*Pantheon is lost in thought for a while*
Pantheon: Hey, Yi.
Yi: Could you please focus on the match for once? I really need to win once in a while.
Pantheon: Don't worry about that. Hey Yi, you get a lot of girls right?
Yi: ... What? What are you talking about now?
Pantheon: Well I thought about what you said before. Silly hats and stuff. It's only logical that sillier is better right? So I thought "I should borrow Yi's goggles. They are the silliest goggles I've ever seen."
Pantheon: So if I wear your silly goggles I should be able to get a lot of chicks! Hey let me borrow them!
Yi: No! No god **** it don- Give me back my helmet! Wh-
Pantheon: Thanks a lot man I'm going to try them on right away. Wow you sure sweat a lot. Tell you what if this works I'll buy you a sweatband as a thank you gift! I have to try this at once, seriously thanks a lot Yi you are the best bro I know!
-A Summoner has disconnected-
League of Hats: P2
Pantheon is pacing back and forth in the Player's lobby, waiting for the match to end. After a whole lot of pacing back and forth the players show up one by one. Pantheon's team had lost. If looks could pentakill...
The last one to trickle in is Yi.
Pantheon: Haha Yi why are you wearing a Haunting Guise? That's a **** item.
*Yi looks up and their eyes meet. Pantheon feels a chill down his spine*
Pantheon: Yi, I'm sorry. Here are your goggles.
Yi: *Serious mode* If this was our first meeting I would have reluctantly accepted your apology. Sadly it isn't. Give back my helmet.
Pantheon: Sure here you go. Haunting Guise, really... I'm really sorry Yi. I didn't know you had it so rough.
Yi: Save it. I don't want to talk to you right now.
Pantheon: I didn't think you'd take it this harsh bro. If I had know I'd never have done it.
*Pantheon leans in to whisper*
Pantheon: Don't worry, your secret is safe with me.
Yi (dumbfounded): Huh?
Pantheon: I didn't know you had it so harsh man. We really have a lot more in common than you let on.
Yi: I have to ask, against my better judgement, what are you blabbering about?
Panth: I know, I couldn't believe it myself at first. I thought for sure that it would work.
Pantheon: Hush, don't scream or someone will find out.
Yi: As long as that someone is me, I don't care.
Pantheon: I tried real hard but it didn't work. I understand that you wouldn't want anyone to find out.
Yi: I'm not sure that qualifies as an answer. At least, not to my question.
Pantheon: Your goggles... they do nothing.
Advicing Fate: P1
The Break Up
- Twisted Fate's apartment. Inside, yelling and stomping can be heard -
Evelynn: I'm done. This is going nowhere.
Twisted Fate: What do you mean "nowhere"? We're having a fight, like many couples do. We just have to come up with some middle point agreement.
Evelynn: No, no, this is not a fight. You see, when couples fight, one says something and the other says something else. Here, I say something and you say "ok". That's our fight.
Twisted Fate: I don't follow.
Evelynn: (Crunches her theeth) The problem is you don't participate in this relationship, you don't have an opinion about anything! Last night I went dancing with the girls, told you I shared drinks with Singed and danced my ass off with Udyr while you were here playing alone playing with your cards, and all you had to say was "I hope you had a good time"?
Twisted Fate: I... well, what did you want me to say?
Evelynn: "Don't go fuc king dancing without me?" "Let me and only me buy your drinks from now on?" That's fuc king common sense, Twisted!
Twisted Fate: Uh... ok then, I'll buy you a big bottle of vodka tomorrow, ok?
Evelynn: (Hopeless) You just don't get it.... That's why I've tought about it and I think it's better if we split up now...
Twisted Fate: (Doesn't get it) Ok, so maybe we can meet at your place for chinese later?
Evelynn: No Twisted, split up for good.
Twisted Fate: (Scared) You mean.... forever alone?
Twisted Fate: (Despertae) No, no, no! Please don't do this to me! I'll do anything, but please don't leave me!
Evelynn: (Sighing) Look Twisted, when I first met you I fell for you because you looked so secure of yourself, so confident about all that happened around you, but after I moved in here, I realized how much of a kid you still are. You treat me like you're afraid of me, like I'm your mother or something, never getting on my bad side. It's like you don't have a personality anymore.
Twisted Fate: Bu.. but I do! Ask anyone! I'm still the same old secure Twisted Fate. I'm just so scared of loosing you....
Evelynn: You'll have to work that out by yourself. I'm leaving now.
- She tries to leave, but TF holds her hand tightly -
Evelynn: Let go.
Twisted Fate: (In the verge of crying) Please Eve bunny, don't do this. We can work this out, I know we can. I can take you dancing and drinking all nights, I promise, I can do whatever you want...
Evelynn: (Had enough) You just don't get it! That's the deal! That's the problem! Is there anything you WANT to do, tell me or propose to me? All you do is say "ok", like you were Rammus or something! Until you can figure out how to be who you really are, I don't want this. Let me go.
Twisted Fate: (Holds her like Di Caprio to a piece of wood floating in the sea) Never!
- Eve uses stealth and manages to get off TF's tight embrace. He proceeds to use Destiny, spots her by the door and runs over there -
Twisted Fate: Don't goooooooooo!
Evelynn: I've had it with you. (She kicks TF's in the nuts and stuns him)
- Eve runs downstairs, leaving TF hurt and alone in his apartment. He comes back in, all teary and feeling miserable. Tries to build a card castle, but as soon as he puts the second card, the castle crumbles. Pretty much the same as him -
- The next night. It's poker night over at Rammus's. Yi, Rammus, Pantheon and TF are playing some poker -
Pantheon: So, I've been thinking, we could try this new "strip poker thing" next week, uh?
Yi: (Ignoring him and happy) Yess! Look and weep, ladies. Royal flush takes it all.
Rammus: (Nods reluctantly) Ok.
Pantheon: It's not really fair, you know? Rammus can't even fold. You asked him: "wanna raise?" and he just said "ok".
Yi: QQ more, I don't care.
- TF is silent. Pantheon realizes theres something wrong with his buddy, so he tries cheering him up -
Pantheon: (To Yi) Hey, you know who would be great to be?
Yi: Right now? Deaf.
Pantheon: Twisted Fate man! He gets all the gir--
- Before Pantheon can end his sentence, TF bursts in tear, hiding his face between his arms -
Yi: Great, see what you've done? You finally drove someone insane. I'm amazed it wasn't me though.
Pantheon: (Conforting TF) Man, are you ok? What is it?
Twisted Fate: (Weeping) It's... Eve. She... she left me.
Yi: (Truly surprised) She did?
Twisted Fate: Yeah... she, she said we have issues we cannot resolve by being together, so she left until we could figure something out... I'm devastated, I don't know what to do. I just love her so much it's burning me inside.
Yi: Well man, sometimes it's better to part ways. Who knows what may be ahead for you, you know? Things can be very--
Pantheon: FUC K THAT! You're such a lucky boy, for I just so happen to be a master expert in this business! I don't call my attack "heart seeker strike" for nothing!.
Twisted Fate: (Hopes up) Really?
Yi: (Disagrees) What are you talking about? Isn't Akali with Shen right now?
Pantheon: I dunno.
Yi: You don't know?
Pantheon: Yeah, she said we should be friends, so I kinda assumed she would do the same with Shen, right?
Yi: Or she can be with him right now enjoying a good tequila in some nudist beach in Ionia. Don't you get it? She totally told you "we should be friends because you are not a cool apathic ninja and you don't wear shirts".
Pantheon: (Laughs) I don't think so. Anyway, about Eve, listen to me Twisted, all you have to do is show her you have your shi t together. Next time she comes by your place show her some good old indifference, like you don't care about what she does. That's an incredible way of showing how secure you are about yourself. She'll fall for you again in no time!
Twisted Fate: (Really wants to believe him) Are... you sure?
Yi: (Interrupting) Hellooooo!? That's the worst piece advice I've ever heard! If you show her how oblivious you're to her presence, won't she think you've moved on?
Pantheon: Oooooor, she could fall for you again. No time. (Winks) Ka-ching!
Twisted Fate: (Thinking for a bit) I think... I'm going to go for Panth's plan. He really seems to know what he's talking about.
Pantheon: Good call man!
Yi: (Pissed) Fine, but don't come crying here afterwards when she...
- They're totally ginoring him, preparing the details for the big plan -
Yi: Hi? Hello? You do hear me, right Rammus? It's not like im in some parallel dimension or anything, right?
Yi: I need new friends.
ADVICING FATE: P2
- Next day at TF'sapartment. The telephone rings and TF jumps onto it and picks it up -
Twisted Fate: Hello?
Evelynn: Twisted? Hi.
Twisted Fate: Hi bunny...
Evelynn: Yeah, hi. Hey, look, I realized I left some things at your place. Can I go over there in a while and pick the up?
- TF remembers Pantheon's advice -
Twisted Fate: (Faking indiference) Whatever.
Evelynn: (Doesn't follow) Whatever what?
Twisted Fate: I mean, you can, I don't really care.
Evelynn: Ooook... Will you be at your place?
Twisted Fate: Maybe.
Evelynn: Maybe? Are you doing something?
Twisted Fate: I dunno.
Evelynn: (Starting to lose her patience) Well, can I go now or not?
Twisted Fate: Meh.
Evelynn: (Had enough) Ok, I'm coming.
- Eve hangs up. Instantly TF calls Pantheon -
Pantheon: (Talking to somebody else) Yeah, rub it in your thighs (At the phone) Heeeeello?
Twisted Fate: Panth? Its Twisted, Eve just called and... what are you doing right now, by the way?
Pantheon: Oh, nothin'. Taric came by and he wanted to show me this new board game he got. I'm kickin' his ass, by the way.
Twisted Fate: Uhm, ok, whatever. Look, Eve called so I applied the indiference technique on her.
Pantheon: Oh sweet! Good move!
Twisted Fate: Yeah, but she's coming over right now. What should I do?
Pantheon: Ok bro, don't freak out. Chicks hate that. Look, whe she gets there, you gotta be really aloof and smooth about it all. Maybe you should plant some bottles around, some joints and shi t, like you're living a good life while she's not there. That'll totally get her interested in you again.
Twisted Fate: You sure man? She won't get pissed?
Pantheon: Naaah! When I did that with Akali it worked wonders.
Twisted Fate: Yeah?
Pantheon: Yeah. Now, what you don't have to do is show her how bad you are. That's V-gina repelent, my man. She wants you to be confident and able to speak up, right? So here's your message for her: Im fine without you. Your loss, babe.
Twisted Fate: (Believing) Wow, that's a pretty strong statement. I hope I can pull it off.
Pantheon: You will bud, I know it. (Taric mumbles something) Yeah, yeah, Im comin', you gotta be in all four for this punishment (To TF) Man I'm really good at this game. You should try it out. Anyway, call me and let me know how it turns out, ok?
Twisted Fate: Sure, I will.
Pantheon: Awesome. Later bro.
- Pantheon hangs up and TF starts setting up his place, planting empty bottles all around and burning some old joints Twitch had left there a few nights ago. He also scatters some of his own underwear just to make the whole "big party" scene convincing. After a while, Eve arrives. TF opens the door like he's busy -
Twisted Fate: (Trying to act, "smooth") Yo, sup'?
Evelynn: Hi. May I come in?
Twisted Fate: Sure, whatever.
- She comes in -
Evelynn: This will take a minute, I just want to... (looking at the place) What happened here, an hurricane?
Twisted Fate: (Lies) Nah, we just had a big party yesterday with the boys and some girls.
Evelynn: You what?
Twisted Fate: Yeah,a big blast. I didn't invite you cause' you know, we're split right now, right?
Evelynn: (Obviously pissed) We're apart because you should be meditating about your behavior in our relationship, no so you can live the bachelor life.
Twisted Fate: (Still hasn't realized he ****ed up) Well, you told me I should find myself, so, that's what I'm doing.
Evelynn: By partying, drinking and smoking weed? This is not the Twisted Fate I knew.
Twisted Fate: (Oh ****) Uhmm...
Evelynn: You know, I tought you were more mature than this, but I guess I was wrong. Now I feel all stupid because I was having second toughts about our fight, but now I'm sure. You're still not ready to commit to a growns up relationship. This confirms it and... whose bra is that? (Pointing at a bra).
Twisted Fate: (Trying to come up with a clever response) Ehm, uhm... Graga's.
Evelynn: (Mad) Do you take me for a fool?
Twisted Fate: (Busted) Look, bunny, I...
Evelynn: Don't bunny me. Clearly you think you can have a good life without me around, so, if this is what you want, well, suit yourself. I'm leaving, you can keep my shi t. I only came here to see how you were doing, but I've seen enough now. Good bye!
Twisted Fate: (As she opens the door) No, bunny, I just wanted to...
- The door slams TF's face with full force. Eve's furious steps down the stairs can be heard. TF goes back to the phone and calls Pantheon -
Taric: (Answering) Hieeeello?
Twisted Fate: (Ackward) Uhm... is Pantheon there?
Taric: Oh, I'm sorry, he's unable to speak at the moment. You see, he's kinda tied up right now, hehehe.
Twisted Fate: Ehm... ok, can you please tell him to call TF back?
Taric: I will. See you.
- TF hangs up, but the phone instantly rings again -
Twisted Fate: Pantheon?
Yi: No, Yi. Look, I was wondering if you still have that "Notebook" DVD we saw the other day.
Twisted Fate: Yi! Thank god. I really need some advice.
Yi: (Untrustful) Is this advice Eve related?
Twisted Fate: Yes.
Yi: Let me guess, Patheon's tactics didn't work out.
Twisted Fate: Well... I don't know. She certainly looks more pissed than before.
Yi: (Sighs) That's because Pantheon is a moron when it comes to girls. You should not listen to him. Look, what you have to do is show her that you're a good, grown up man, that you can make decisions and have an opinion.
Twisted Fate: And how in the world can I do that?
Yi: (Thinking) What about in the battlefield? I have a match scheduled against her tomorrow. Maybe I can squeeze you in for my team.
Twisted Fate: Can you do that? That would be awesome!
Yi: Hey, no sweat. I'm calling my summoner right now, ok? I'll text you the meeting time later.
Twisted Fate: Thanks man.
Yi: No problem. See you tomorrow.
- Yi hangs up. TF remains by the phone a few more minutes, thinking about how to make himself look important and decisive. After a while, he picks the phone again -
Pantheon: (Like he has something in his mouth) Wellow?
Twisted Fate: Dude, I need your advice.
ADVICING FATE: P3
- The day of the match. Yi, Twitch, Shaco, Tristana and TF are all in the locker room discussing their strategy -
Yi: (To TF) Ok bud, I usually lead the team, but today its all about your thunder so you can show Eve how much of a decisive man you can be, you with me?
Twisted Fate: (Excited) Yeah! Yeah!
Yi: Awesome. (To everyone) Everyone, please listen. Today Im giving TF the chance of leading the team to victory because I'm confident he's perfectly capable of it. I hope you all can listen to him and answer to his orders, ok?
Everyone: Sure, sure.
Yi: (To TF) They are all yours.
Twisted Fate: (Unsure) Uhm... ok, here's how it is going to be. I'll be jungling, so there must be someone holding a solo lane. Tristana, you up for it?
Tristana: I don't know... I saw Lux and Morgana on my way here, so, if they both are--
Twisted Fate: (Doesn't listen to her) Ok, cool, you'll hold the lane. Twitch and Shaco, you both have stealth so I'm putting you two together on bottom for the surprise factor, ok?
Twitch: Uhm... maybe I should take mid, you know? Because I'm the only one with a range except from you... And you're jungling, wich I think I can do better, but hey, whatever...
Twisted Fate: No, no. Yi will have mid. He's swift and can jump with his alpha strike. You two have to stay bot and feed on those guys, ok?
Shaco: Well, we can give it a shot...
Yi: Ok everyone, you have your orders. Carry on then, and let's win this thing!
- They all go out their Nexus and start preparing for the upcoming fight. As stated, Tristana was to hold top and the two stealth assasins were to stay bot until they could take the turret down. Yi was confident about his chances on mid, so he said nothing, but as soon as he saw Vladimir on the other end of the lane, he started having seconds toughts -
Yi: (Over the intercom) TF, TF, over.
Twisted Fate: I hear you, over, what's the deal?
Yi: Vladimir's over here... maybe someone else should take mid.
Twitch: (Interrupting) I told you I can handle it! Besides, we have Eve and Malphite here. They're going to give us a hell of a time.
Tristana: Im also unsure about this whole "you against Lux and Morgana" thing. They have those nasty snares and...
Twisted Fate: (Cutting everyone off) People, people, come on. I tought you had confidence on yourselves! We can win this if we play our cards correctly. Trust me, everything is going to be alright, just break down to pressure, ok?
- The match starts and in a matter of minutes Tristana gets double snared and killed. After a few more minutes, Yi is practically living in his turret waiting for a chance to counter Vlad, but he only grows more and more powerful, leaving little open spaces for counterattacks. Bottom lane also was having trouble, for Malphite decided to buy an oracle's as his second item, and Eve was ganking the gankeers like there was no tomorrow, but in the jungle, everything was just dandy, and TF was having a really easy time stealing buffs and getting dragon -
Tristana: (Over the intercom) TF, I need help over here, over!
Twisted Fate: In a minute, I'm getting blue.
Tristana: Oh no, they're coming! I'm outta here!
Twisted Fate: Tristana hold your position! That's an order!
Tristana: But they will dive me!
Twisted Fate: Then endure it like a man!
Tristana: But I'm a girl!!!!
- A few seconds after Tristana was slain, top turret fell to the ground. Bottom was soon to follow, as Eve and Malphite were giving the two assasins little chances to defend themselves -
Twitch: He keeps seeing us and Eve ganks us before we can do a thing!
Twisted Fate: Then buy yourselves and oracle's elixir already!
Shaco: Sure, and you'll leand us the money for that? I've killed 2 minions!
Twisted Fate: (Sighs) Good lord. Ok, Im coming over there, just let me get Destiny up...
- Shaco and Twitch get rammed by Malphite -
Shaco: Aaaaah! My arm!
Twitch: The horror!
Twisted Fate: Ok, it's up! I'm going! Malphite first!
- Destiny activates just a second before both Twitch and Shaco die. TF shows up and gets to hit Malphite 2 times before Eve knocks him to the ground and kills him. Bottom turret goes down. When TF revives, his mates are there waiting for him by the fountain -
Shaco: (Mad) Whadda**** was that!?
Twisted Fate: (Confronting him) Listen clown, do your job and we can still win this, just stop getting killed. Geez.
- TF goes and tries to help mid as Shaco gives him the finger at his back, but before TF can reach middle turret, it explodes, Yi included -
Twisted Fate: (Starting to lose his patience) GOD **** IT! Ok, enough games. I'm ending this.
- The rest of the match, TF decided to act by his own accord, failing ganks all over the place and trying to solo turrets just to get killed by them. When everything was said and done, not only one enemy turret had went down. The end arrived and Yi's team had lost -
- In the locker room. TF hasn't realized how poor he had performed -
Twisted Fate: (To Yi) Hey man, good game. We may have lost, but Im sure Eve got to see how much of a leader I can be. I bet she'll get back to me in no time.
Yi: (Cannot hold back any longer) WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT!? Have you heard or general Raiz? He got his entire platoon killed in the snow because of a hunch and he would still make a better leader than you! Look at this! Look at it! (Shows his team, all badly injured) Twitch has a broken rib, Shaco in unable to hold his knives any longer and Tristana is traumatized for life!
Tristana: (Completely crazy) Little rainbows, little ponys, lalala.
Twisted Fate: (Pissed) Oh yeah? We'll, they did awful! Of course they're how they are!
Yi: Have you completely lost track of reality?! You were the worst, and not of this team, the WORST champion in the whole history of the League! You died nonstop, didn't help in teamfights and I could swear I did not see a single gold card in the entire match! You're a disgrace and a horrible leader!
Twisted Fate: (Doesn't care) Pfst, you're just mad cause you couldn't keep up with me. It's ok, Panth told me this could happen.
Yi: (Holding his anger for a second) What... did you just said?
Twisted Fate: Yeah, Pantheon told me you could get a little jealous if I did too good. Well, sorry fella, it's just in me, what can I say?
Tristana: Look mommy! A firefly!
Yi: (Explodes) I'm going to kill you!!!!! Why do you come to me for advice and then listen to that stupid rock headed *******!!??I....I.... I... IM DONE WITH YOU! If Eve knows what's best for her, she won't take you back. EVER. Be grateful I don't slice you right here right now and try to use your free time, cause Im sure you'll have plenty from now on, on thinking by yourself, you stupid joker! (To the rest) Party, we're leaving. Someone get Tristana.
- They leave. TF goes right behind them, all confused and dazed about what just happened. On the exit door, he sees Eve waiting for him. For a second he thinks Yi is wrong and that she actually saw the good performance he had and will take him back because of it -
Twisted Fate: (Happy and smiley) Bunny...
- He doesn't get to speak again. Eve kicks him so hard, tears burst out from his eyes. As he lies in the ground, she stands over him -
Evelynn: (Cold as hell, holding her heel against his face) Don't ever come near me, you hear? You've disgraced me for the last time, making fun of me in my job. You took your entire team to a horrible and humilliating defeat and had me held responsability for it. Now everyone thinks I "broke you", and they feel sorry for you while they think of me as the "bitc h" of the League. This was it, Twisted Fate. I don't want to see your face ever again. Should you go after me, and Ill have you killed. Good day.
- As Eve leaves, TF starts realizing he might have commited a mistake after all. He closes his eyes and stays there, in the ground, for a few more minutes. Little snowflakes appear on the sky -
ADVICING FATE: P4
- TF is at the psychiatrist -
Twisted Fate: (Holding his hands in despair) I don't know what to do doctor... I mean, now that I'm certain she's gone for good I don't think I have anything else in my life... If I must be honest, I've had... suicicdal toughts...
Dr. Mundo: Mundo thinks that's insane. Mundo thinks you're a wuss.
Twisted Fate: I... I'm not! But... I don't really see a way out of this. I'm so depressed all the time, I don't even want to go out anymore. Not to mention, everyone thinks I'm a lost cause on the League.
Mundo: Mundo thinks you're inactive and have a complex with women. Tell Mundo, did your mother care for you when you were a kid?
Twisted Fate: Not particullarly. She was a thief, and my father was a rogue. They spent a lot of time away from home and I only had my cards to entretain myself...
Mundo: Mundo, Mundo!
Twisted Fate: What?
Mundo: Mundo believes your have issues with commitment because you're afraid of being left alone! (Standing up) Mundo breaks stuff! RRRAAAARRGGH! (Composing himself) I mean, you should go out there and start overcoming your fears.
Twisted Fate: But how doctor, how can I do that? I... don't want to be abandoned again.
Mundo: Mundo thinks you're stupid. You've already been abandoned. There's only one way now and it's getting your girl back, Mundo says.
Twisted Fate: (Realizes he's right) You... you're right. I cannot be worse than now, that's true. But how do I show Eve how much I care for her?
Mundo: (Raging again) WRROOOORRAAAR!
Twisted Fate: (Stands up, all decided) Yes! You're right, of course! I need to be bold and show her my courage! I'll show her how much I want to be with her, whether she likes it or not! If she dismisses me after that, well, at least I'll have peace of mind because I tried. Thank you doctor!
Mundo: Mundo doesn't eat from thanks. It's 300U$, thank you, Mundo will see you next week.
- As TF gets out of the office, he's determined to do something outstanding to show Eve how much he wants her back. He decides to go shopping. -
- The next day, TF is walking to Eve's house, all dressed up and groomed. To be sure he looks ok, he stands near a window on the street and checks himself out, but trough the glass he's able to recognize Eve inside of what turned out to be a restaurant. He can't believe his luck, so he goes inside and tries to surprise her -
Twisted Fate: (Touching her shoulder) Eve.
- Eve turns around. She cannot help her disgusted and surprised look -
Evelynn: What in the name of the gods are you doing here?
Twisted Fate: I had to see you. I realized I've been all about words lately, so I decided I had to show you with actions how much I need your around. I was just coming over to your place, but Lady Luck smiled on me and here I am.
Evelynn: (Uncomfortable) Twisted, I...
Twisted Fate: (Interrupting) Please don't kill me yet. I have something I need to say. You can try and make me suffer all you want after, but please let me speak my mind.
Evelynn: (Looking around, nervous)
Twisted Fate: (Kneeling down) Evelynn, for the first time I saw you I knew were meat to be together forever. I want that to be a reality, for I have seen the wrong in my ways and I'm ready to fix them. No more whinning, no more insecurities, no more lap dog. I'll be a man for you from now on as long ad you promise me you'll be my woman...
Evelynn: Oh... my... god...
Twisted Fate: (Shows her a little golden box) Evelynn, would you make me the happiest man in the world and become my wife? (Opens up the box. A big 3 carat diamond ring is inside. The whole restaurant turns over to them)
Evelynn: (Lost for words) Twisted...
Man: I'm sorry, but she will have to decline the offer.
- A man with a big moustache and fancy manners appears behind Eve and puts his hands on her shoulders. From the ground, TF recognizes his face -
Twisted Fate: (Shocked) Gangplank....
Gangplank: Indeed. You must be Twisted Fate. I've heard a lot about you on the past few days. Not good things I'm afraid.
Twisted Fate: (Confused, stands up) What's the meaning of this?
Gangplank: This, mate, is a date. And you're interrupting it, so, if you'd be so kind as to leave I'll certainly appreciate it. (Sits down and drinks a sip of wine) Thank you.
- TF looks at Eve, but she avoids him. The restaurant is completely silent and no one dares to take a bite -
Gangplank: (Starting to lose his cool) Didn't you hear me? Scram! She wants nothing to do with you, and I don't blame her! You're a joke and a lousy excuse of a human being, so why don't you just get the fu---
- Before Gangplank can finish his sentence, TF jumps over him and starts attacking, furiously and hurt. The pirate manages to get away but TF's relentless assault of cards give him a hard time. He's out of his mind, and starts hitting him nonstop, until Gangplank loses his balance and falls on a table. He instantly gets up and takes out his gun. Chaos breaks lose on the restaurant as all the customers panic and try to get out any way they can. In the middle of the scene, TF and Gangplank are having an all out brawl.
The place is torn to pieces and after a long hour of insane carnage, TF finally gets Gangplank on the ground. He approaches him, but Eve gets in the middle -
Evelynn: (Longing her arms with a sad confused face) Leave.
Twisted Fate: (Teary and hurt, but proud) ....
- TF drops the ring at Eve's feet and walks out the restaurant feeling like a complete fool. Soon after, the cops get him and he does not struggle while they put him in the car and take him over to jail. It's nightime. -
ADVICING FATE: P5
- In a cell inside the Institue of War, TF sits quietly playing with his card. A guards approaches -
Garen: (From outside the cell) Oh boy, finally, the notorious rougue Twisted Fate has commited an inexcusable mistake. What do you know?
Twisted Fate: (Doesn't look at him) I made your day, uh?
Garen: Oh no, you've made MY LIFE. This will be your last resting place!
Twisted Fate: (Looks up) You're executing me? Over a fight!?
Garen: Ehm, no... You're just going to saty here for a week or so. But still! Ill make you feel like you're gonna die! Muahaha!
Twisted Fate: Meh. You don't scare me.
Garen: WHAT!? Tremble in fear, fool, for I shall--- DEMACIAAAAAAAAAA!!!!
- Garen plunges his sword against the wall in a furious attack making the whole structure shake -
Twisted Fate: What the fuc k was that?
Twisted Fate: Oh... you have issues.
Garen: Oh yeah!? Next time it'll be your head, I can assure you!
Twisted Fate: Right. What are you going to do? Stand near to me and expect me to burn in agony? Oh wait, you're just wearing one cape now, I guess that's off the table.
Garen: (Pissed) Why you...! If you must know, I only use one cape now because stacking them made me look bigger than what I really am, fool.
Twisted Fate: Not interested.
Garen: Oh, you'll be interested when you see me again, I'll tell you that. And it won't be pleasant. It won't be short. It will be --- ughh!!
- All of a sudden, Garen collapses into the ground. TF looks around but he's unable to locate the source of the hit. Then he realizes -
Twisted Fate: (Looking around) Bu... bunny?
Evelynn: (Appearing behind him) Hi Twisty.
Twisted Fate: (Happy) I... don't believe it! What are you doing here?
Evelynn: (Sarcastic) Im bringing you an apple pie. What do you think Im doing here, doofus?
Twisted Fate: (Hugs her) Im... Im so happy. I tought you didn't want to see me again.
Evelynn: I didn't but... I've been talking to some people and they all told me how much you cared for me. Mundo, Pantheon, Yi... They all told me about what you've been going trough, and if I must tell you something, you were an idiot by listening to them.
Twisted Fate: (Ashamed) I know...
Evelynn: (Compasionate) But let's not think about that. Now we have to get you out of here.
- Eve kicks the cell door and they bust out, jumping over Garen's unconsciouss body. They walk their way out of the dungeon quietly enough, until they're spotted by a guard who runs and sounds the alarm -
Evelynn: Ok, enough with the stealthy maneuvers. Now we run!
Twisted Fate: Ok!
- They manage to get to the courtyard, but another captain of the guard is there waiting for them -
Xin: You're not going anywhere, you scum!
Twisted Fate: Oh great. From all people, this guy. You know, if he rushes me, I'm done for.
Evelynn: (Smiles maliciously) Double stun time!
Twisted Fate: (Winks) It's on!
- As soon as Xin tries to rush over TF, a stealthed Eve stops him in his tracks, followed by a gold card. While Xin is in happy stun land, they both walk pass him and end up beneath the courtyard's gigantic wall -
Twisted Fate: Shi t, now we're done for. There's no way we can climb this thing.
Xin: (Recovering, but still dizzy) S... stop righ.... Jezuz, I feel sick... Stop there! I'lll be back in a wh.. wh... (covers his mouth and then pukes).
Twisted Fate: You don't see that in the matches.
Evelynn: Well, don't worry, I had this figured out before coming here. (Shouts to the top of the wall) Yo, B.C, we're over here!
- All of a sudden, a hand appears out of nowhere, grabs both Eve and TF while Xin is still puking, and takes them to the top of the wall. -
Twisted Fate: Wow, sweet! How did we...
Evelynn: It was Blitzcrank. He agreed to help me in exchange for some... favors.
Twisted Fate: (Looking at Blitzcrank, amazed) Wow! You built a robot just to help me escape?
Evelynn: I.. did not build him...
Twisted Fate: (Doesn't care) Hey Blitzy, can you tell me the complete secuence of the Pi number?
Blitzcrank: (In a robotic voice) Can. You. Suck. My. Metallic. Coc k?
Twisted Fate: I didn't know robots could be so rude...
Blitzcrank: (Mocking him) "I. Didn't. Know. Robots. Could. Be. So. Rude".
Twisted Fate: Hey, stop that!
Evelynn: Ok boy, that's enough. We're getting off this wall, now! Jump!
- The three of them jump. Eve lands perfeclty fine. Blitzcrank struggles a bit, but ends up in his two feet, while TF lands flat on his face -
Twisted Fate: (Hurt) Shi t... this never happens when I teleport.
Evelynn: You could teleport?
Twisted Fate: Yeah, you know I can.
Evelynn: I tought they had you spell bounded or something, how come you didn't teleport?!
Twisted Fate: Well.. I was so depressed about not having you that I really didn't care what was going to happen to me.
Blitzcrank: OH. Come. On. So. You're. Not. Only. A. Wuss. You're. A. Moron. Too.
Twisted Fate: (To Eve, pointing at Blitzcrank) What's this robot's deal?
Evelynn: That'll be it Blitz. You can go now.
Blitzcrank: Suuuuure. Get. Rid. Of, The. Silly. Robot. That. Does. Not. Undertand. The. Mechanichs. Of. ***. Well. You. Still. Owe. Me. Remember. That.
Evelynn: I will. Good bye.
- Blitzcrank dissapears in the horizon, still complaining -
Twisted Fate: They'll come after me, Im sure. No one escapes the Institue of War.
Evelynn: Let them come. We'll be ready for them.
Twisted Fate: That means...?
Evelynn: Yes Twisty, I'm taking you back.
Twisted Fate: (Happy as hell) YEAH! YEAH!
Evelynn: Buuuut, I don't want to get married.
Twisted Fate: Yeah, sure.
Evelynn: And I don't want kids.
Twisted Fate: Uhm, ok.
Evelynn: And I don't want to learn tango.
Twisted Fate: Oowwww, but I love tango.
- Eve looks at him and for the first time, she understands his man. Kindly, she hugs him as they walk trough the streets -
Evelynn: (Opening up) I'm sorry Twisted. I acted like a bitc h. I wanted you to have an opinion, but I hadn't realized till now that I was the one cutting everything you said off. From this day on, if you want something, speak your mind. I promise you I won't turn you away, not at the begginig at least.
Twisted Fate: (Dearly) Thank you bunny. So, about the tango...
Evelynn: Yeah, I think I could learn it.
Twisted Fate: (Testing his luck) And what about...
Evelynn: (Cuts him off) Forget it. No behind for you.
Twisted Fate: Aww....
- They walk slowly between the streets, chatting like a couple of newlyweds. On the other side of the city wanted posters were already being pasted to the walls, but they don't care. As long as they remained together, life seemed ok -
Bros Before Pussycats
-Pantheon and Nidalee are sitting in the King's Neptune restaurant. As promised he took her out for a nice seafood dinner.-
Nidalee: You know sexy, we have a match tomorrow. I hear we’re on opposing teams. *taking a bite of her lobster*
Pantheon: *almost dropping his fork* What? Really?
Nidalee: You’re not going to go easy on me again, are you? The last match we had against each other, you let me kill Yi and destroy your turret. *teasing smile*
Pantheon: *takes a drink of water* Not if you don’t want me to… I mean… I will if you want me to… fight you… I mean…
Nidalee: *giggles* Stop, Stop… Of course I want a real fight from you. You’ll get fired if you keep losing games on purpose!
Pantheon: Ok Pussycat… *cocky grin* but I’ll win.
Nidalee: I like your confidence, its endearing, but I’m not some little house cat, sexy. *flashing him a dangerous smile*
Pantheon: *shouts* And I am Pantheon! *declaring his strength by picking up his spear and driving it into the floor next to him*
Waitress: *screams* Aaaaaahhhh!! They’re going to fight!! the champions are going to fight!!! *dropping her tray of food and running back into the kitchen*
Nidalee: *confused* People are so strange…
Pantheon: *taking another bite of his steak* Besides… *talking with his mouth full* Yi and I are unstoppable in a lane.
Nidalee: Actually… Yi is on my team.
Pantheon: WHAT!? *choking*
-After dinner Pantheon said goodnight to Nidalee and took off in the sky, only to dive into Yi’s home, re-breaking the newly patched roof.-
Pantheon: Yi…? *looking around the house*
Yi: *stepping out of the bathroom startled* Do you ever use the door? Would it be so hard to land outside of the house and walk to..
Pantheon: *interrupts* Why are you on Nidalee’s team tomorrow?
Yi: *surprised* How do you know…
Pantheon: *interrupts again* Nidalee told me over dinner. We always lane together, man! *looking hurt*
Yi: *defensively* Well after the last match, you sacrificed me so you wouldn’t have to kill her, and we lost that turret, not to mention the match!
Pantheon: C‘mon man! That was just a misunderstanding… She said I can fight her.
Yi: She sank her claws into my back side! And since when do you need her permission?
Pantheon: No… I didn't mean… it's just that...
Yi: What the hell has gotten into you!?
Pantheon: *ashamed* I don’t want to lose her, man. *taking a seat on Yi’s couch with his elbows on his knees as he stares at the floor*
Yi: What’s your job?
Yi: *yells* What’s your job Spartan!
Pantheon: *confused* To win league matches?
Yi: *yells louder* TO WHAT!? I DIDN’T HEAR YOU SPARTAN!
Pantheon: *yells back* TO WIN!! *standing up*
Yi: *continues yelling* THEN SCREW THE GIRL AND GO WIN THAT MATCH!!
Pantheon: *yells back* HAVE SE-X AND WIN! GOT IT! *jumps out of the hole in Yi’s roof*
Yi: *shaking his head watching him fly away* What an idiot…
-The following day everyone is standing in their respective spots at the beginning of the match. The teams were, Nidalee, Yi, Morde, Tryndamere, Jax vs. Pantheon, Akali, Brolaf, Cho Gath, Shen-
Shen: This is not a good team at all. What were the summoners thinking?
Akali: What do you mean Shen-Sempai? *trying to look cute*
Cho Gath: He means we are lacking some one who can cast spells at range.
Akali: Oh… *looks around to see Pantheon coming down the steps from the store* Pantheon, you have a spear, right? Why don’t you go down the middle lane.
Pantheon: *snaps out of his daze* What?
Brolaf: *excited* Bro! You’re doing mid!
-His teammates look at him in silence waiting for an explanation-
Pantheon: Have Cho go mid, he can range.
Shen: He’s a tank, Pantheon. You would be best fit to go mid.
Pantheon: *worried look but reluctantly nods his head*
-Akali and Shen head to the bottom lane while Cho starts heading to the top-
Brolaf: *stops Pantheon at the bottom of their base steps* You alright Bro? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.
Pantheon: I’m fine. *continues walking to the turret*
Brolaf: Alright bro, if ya need help just yell. *heads to the top lane with Cho*
-Pantheon reaches his turret, his eyes darting through the darkness in front of him. Nothing moves in the shadows.-
“MINIONS IN 30 SECONDS”
Pantheon: *grips his shield a little tighter and thinks to himself* Please don’t be my Pussycat. Please don’t be my Pussycat. Please please please.
“MINIONS HAVE SPAWNED”
-Pantheon begins to move up with the spawning minions. As the shadows are cast aside, he sees Nidalee, and his heart sinks. The match was exceptionally long but evenly matched. Akali and Shen managed to push their lane while Brolaf and Cho were losing theirs. Pantheon and Nidalee had yet to make a move in either direction.-
Pantheon: *swatting at minions* I don’t think I can do this Pussycat…
Nidalee: *yells* NOW! *shifts into cougar form and pounces on Pantheon*
-Yi darting out of the lower bush with an Alpha Strike.-
Pantheon: What the..! *blocking an attack from Nidalee, but goes into a frenzy*
-Pantheon leaps at Yi, stunning him with his shield and immediately unleashes Heart Seeker Strike. As Yi tries to run into the bushes Pantheon hurls his spear at his back.-
-Pantheon turns around to see Nidalee and Akali fighting. Badly hurt he decides to head back to the base. It wasn‘t just his health that was low.-
“AN ALLY HAS BEEN SLAIN”
Akali: What the hell Panth!? Why didn’t you help!?
Pantheon: *defensively* I was hurt!
Akali: What has happened to you? You’re not the same Pantheon I used to know. The Pantheon I know would be Skyfalling all over Summoner’s Rift to save people!
Pantheon: *snaps back* Well I can’t save everyone! Why not have Shen follow you around to make sure you don’t die next time!
Akali: *surprised and hurt* Fine then, be that way!
-Pantheon and his teammates eventually lost the match, though it was a close game. Afterwards Pantheon was no where to be found. The day after the lost battle, Yi gets a knock at his door-
Yi: Nidalee? *surprised* What are you doing here?
Nidalee: May I come in?
Yi: *opens the door a little wider* Of course
Nidalee: Its Pantheon, I’m worried. I haven’t seen him at all after the last match. He hasn’t been home, the Dungeon, I can’t find him.
Yi: He’ll turn up Nid, he’s probably still pouting over having to do mid against you.
Nidalee: I don’t think our plan was a good one Yi. *sad* I think it may have been too soon for him to be in a match with me on the other team.
Yi: You shouldn’t have told him before the match about being on opposite teams. He got himself so worked up…
Nidalee: I know… *dazing off into a smile*
Yi: *catching the hint* I don’t want to know!
Nidalee: Sorry *snapping back to present time* Well I can’t sit here and do nothing but wait.
Yi: Fine. Let me call Brolaf and see if he has seen him around.
Nidalee: Thank you. I’m going keep prowling the streets… If you find out anything call me. *writes down her number and hands it to Yi*
Yi: You have a phone?
Nidalee: Why wouldn’t I?
Yi: Being from the Jungle…Never mind. I’ll call you.
Nidalee: *leaving as she gestures goodbye*
Yi: *feeling a little worried, says to himself* Pantheon where are you?
-Yi picks up the phone and calls Brolaf. No Answer. He sets the phone down and next to it, Nidalee’s number. Deciding he needs a shower before he takes to wandering the streets, heads to the bathroom. Pantheon sky falls through the hole in Yi’s roof. Since it wasn’t patched yet, he made little noise. Pantheon didn’t see Yi but heard the shower kick on. He also noticed Nidalee’s name and number on a piece of paper by Yi’s phone.-
Pantheon: What the hell…
-Pantheon went to Brolaf's and while sitting on the couch depressed, he waits for him to return with a beer.-
Brolaf: Here ya go. *tossing him a graggy ice*
Pantheon: Thanks. *catching it*
Brolaf: I don’t know bro… I find it hard to believe. Nidalee and Yi?
Pantheon: I know man but why would he have her number? *opens his beer*
Brolaf: Maybe they’re just friends… *takes a drink*
Pantheon: Then why arrange to be on the same team together? Yi is like one of my closest bros, we always lane together.
Brolaf: Ok I have no idea. I just drink and punch people.
Pantheon: Mind if I crash here again tonight?
Brolaf: Nah Bro, its kewl.
-Brolaf’s phone rings-
Brolaf: Its Yi again bro, you should talk to him.
-Pantheon throws his spear at the phone, knocking it out of Brolaf’s hand and pinning what was left of it against the wall. Brolaf stands there for a few seconds intimidated. Pantheon gets up and goes to his room, shutting the door behind him. A few hours later there’s a knock at Brolaf’s door-
Ezreal: *surprised* Wow, you are home!?
Brolaf: Hey man. Yea sorry, Pantheon broke my phone. *looking over at the spear in the wall with wires dangling*
Ezreal: *disappointed* Pantheon is here? *leans in to get a look inside*
Brolaf: Don’t worry bro, he locked himself in the bedroom. ***** problems.
Ezreal: Ahh, I just stopped in to give ya these. *holds a shoe box up smiling* I saw them at the mall and thought of you.
Brolaf: *opens the box* Awww thanks man. *looks around to make sure no one is looking and gives Ezreal a kiss on the cheek*
Ezreal: *blushing* It was nothing. I guess I shoulda got you a new phone. *giggles*
Brolaf: **** happens.
Ezreal: I am meeting Akali and Sona at the Dungeon tonight, wanna come?
Brolaf: *looks back at Pantheons room* Nah bro, I better stay here with him. I don’t want his spear finding my big screen.
-They say their goodbyes and as Ezreal is walking away pulls out his phone and calls Yi-
Ezreal: Yea he’s there alright. I guess he locked himself in the room and broke Brolaf’s phone.
Yi: Great, how am I going to fix this?
Ezreal: I don’t care bi-tch, I want to know when you’re going to stop blackmailing me with Brolaf!
Yi: Don’t ***** me! And I’ll stop when I feel like it, *****! *hangs up*
-Later that night, Brolaf fed Pantheon enough Graggy Ice to make him pass out, ensuring his big screen would be safe while he heads over to Yi’s house to find out what was really going on.-
Brolaf: *scowling at Yi as he opens the door*
Yi: Brolaf? *surprised* Where’s Panth…?
Brolaf: *still scowling and begins to yell* BRO! WHAT THE FU… *notices Nidalee sitting in the living room* BRO, HOW COULD YOU!? BROS BEFORE…
Yi: What? *realizing he’s staring at Nidalee* No!
Brolaf: *shoves his way inside, walking over to Nidalee* AND YOU!!!
Nidalee: *standing up* And me what? *giving Brolaf a stern look* This wasn’t my idea it was his! *points at Yi*
Brolaf: IT TAKES TWO YOU SL-UT!
Yi: *dumbfounded* Ok everyone stop! *looks at Nidalee* First of all, it was OUR idea Nidalee. *looks over at Brolaf* and second, there is nothing going on between Nidalee and I.
Nidalee: *surprised* What? Where did that come from!?
Brolaf: *calming down a bit* Well bro, that’s not what Pantheon thinks!! He flew in here earlier today and saw her name and number by your phone, and bro… he thinks that’s why you were on her team last match.
Nidalee: I left my number with Yi because I couldn’t find him! *gives a pouting look* I haven’t seen him since yesterdays match, and I didn’t know who else to ask.
Yi: The match was a set up Nidalee and I planned in hopes to get Panth back on his game in the fighting. We wanted him to be able to fight Nidalee and there’s no way he would solo her unless I wasn’t on his team.
Brolaf: *silently trying to process the story*
Nidalee: Yi tells me Pantheon is at your place? Can I go see him? *she makes a move to the door*
Brolaf: *holds out his arm in front of her, almost clothes lining her to the ground* My bro is passed out drunk.
Yi: You got him drunk? Why?
Brolaf: He speared my phone! I didn’t know what he’d do to my big screen. if I left him alone!
Nidalee: I need to see him, Brolaf. Please take me to him… *gives the saddest cat eyed look*
Brolaf: Alright, alright. *frowns at her* Just don't look at me like that! *shudders then walks out*
Yi: I have my own explaining to do, I’m coming too.
-As they walk in to Brolaf’s place, they see a huge Spartan-like shield splitting the t.v. in half.-
Brolaf: *rushes over to his t.v. and kneels down in front of it* MY BABY! *starts mumbling cusses in a whimpering tone as he tries to remove the shield*
-Pantheon stumbles from the kitchen and sees Brolaf crying-
Pantheon: S..S..Sorrrrry bra *slurring his words* da mooooovie trrree-hundred came on…. *pauses to burp* I… *hic* I… lost it.
Nidalee: *gasps* What has he done to you? *rushes over and hugs him*
Pantheon: *putting one hand on the wall so not to lose balance from her embrace and the other around her waist* P..Pussycat?
Yi: *stepping forward* Hey man…
Pantheon: *lets go of Nidalee and begins grasping for his spear… but is reaching for thin air* I… I’mmm going…*hic* …killllll you. *slowly begins stumbling towards Yi*
Yi: Pantheon, you’re drunk. You’re in no shape to even fight a fly. Will you just hear me out.
Pantheon: Brroooos… before… Pussssssycats… *continue to stumble towards Yi*
Yi: What? *pulling out his sword as Pantheon gets closer*
Nidalee: No! STOP! *running in front of Pantheon* It was all just a mistake sexy. *grabs pantheon’s head, making him look at her* It was a mistake. I was never with Yi. Never. The match, was suppose to help you by pitting you one on one against me. I gave my number to Yi because I couldn’t find you, and I was worried. I was asking for his help.
Pantheon: *wobbles silently for a minute or two* Oh…
Yi: So we good? *anxious for a response as he lowers his sword*
Pantheon: I… I… yeeeaa… *hic* … I need… to… lay dooowwwn. *collapses on the couch and passes out again*
Nidalee: *kneels by the couch rubbing his bare chest* What should we do?
Brolaf: *still weeping over his t.v.*
Yi: He’s drunk Nid, not dying. He just needs to sleep it off. Let him stay here for the night and take him home tomorrow.
-First thing the next day Brolaf happily and violently wakes Pantheon up and sends him home before he ever fully gained consciousness. Nidalee had slept at Pantheon’s house waiting for him to return. Pantheon crash lands into a shrub outside of his house. Stumbling to his feet and putting his hand on his head in pain.-
Pantheon: *says to himself out loud* Never flying drunk again…
-He manages to get into his house where he sees Nidalee asleep on his couch-
Pantheon: *whispering* Heeey Pussycat *nudging her to wake her up*
Nidalee: *excitedly* HEY! *sitting up to hug him*
Pantheon: Shhhhhhh….I have a pounding headache and I’m so thirsty I could drink a lake.
-Nidalee spent the rest of the day trying to nurse him back to normal. She had him lay on the couch as they talked more about the misunderstandings of the last two days. There’s a knock on the door.-
Pantheon: *attempts to sit up*
Nidalee: *puts her hand on his shoulder* No, no sexy. I’ll get it. Just rest.
-Nidalee answers the door to find Yi looking back at her.-
Nidalee: *opening the door a little further* He’s on the couch.
Yi: *Cautiously approaches Pantheon* Hey man…
Pantheon: Hey dude… *slowly sitting up holding his head*
Yi: Just came by to see if we’re good man.
Pantheon: Yea… we’re good… You’re an ass. *smiles teasingly*
Yi: That’s funny hearing that from you. *smiles back*
Nidalee: Hows Brolaf? Have you seen him? *looking at Yi*
Yi: Oh right… about that. *looking at Pantheon* I…
Pantheon: Wait… what’s wrong with Brolaf?
Nidalee: You don’t remember sexy? You broke his t.v. with your shield.
Pantheon: Oh sh*t *eyes wide* That’s why he was so pissed this morning.
Yi: I have a message *trying to continue* Brolaf says, "Bro, no p*ssy *looking over at Nidalee* Sorry, *looks back at Pantheon* is worth a wide screen t.v. and you owe him 30.000 for the t.v. and 500 for the phone.”
Pantheon: *looking pale* I think I’m going to puke…
Yi has a sixth sense?
(Pantheon was standing out facing a field, as he looked around he noticed it had a small Karthus burrow, he was leaning on a wire fence, and behind him and to the left was a rather large boulder)
Pantheon: pests...*throws his spear at one of the Karthai, impaling it, strangely enough the moment the spear had left his hand, another appeared* what the...I don't remember bringing any spares...or even picking it up...well...that's weird.
Pantheon: *lying down on the boulder, looking up to the sky and then letting out a deep sigh* Oopps. *taking his helmet off* Don't wanna damage the head spikes.
(suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder, much like the night at the party)
Pantheon: *Twirling around* wait a minute...Lux? what are you doing here?
Lux: It's my brother...he's...he's in trouble.
Pantheon: Your brother? In trouble? *chuckling* nice one. Hey, by the way, when did you leave Rammus' part last night?
Lux: what?...uhh...nevermind... Anyway...it's serious...I don't know what's going on, but Garens been acting real strange, it's like he's sick or something...It seems like he's getting weaker by the day!
Pantheon: Ahh, give him a health potion and a couple of capes and he'll be fine.
Lux: That's the other thing, only one cape ever has an effect, once the first one is on the others no longer burn!
Pantheon: my...that is serious...has anyone else come down with these ailments?
Lux: Well...Yes actually, twitch said he's feeling worse for wear, so have Olaf, Gragas and Malphite! And many items don't seem to be working properly!
Pantheon: Hmm...wait a minute...did you see the game a couple of hours ago?
Lux: yeah, Urgot's been getting a fair bit better recently...like...like the opposite of my brother...you don't think...
Pantheon: Yes, Urgot is stealing power from the champions and items of the league.
Lux: that...monster...Theres something else...Cassiopia joined the league at the same time...they might be working together, they are both Noxians, it only goes to show.
Pantheon: Come on, we need to go now.
Lux: Should we get help?
Pantheon: Yes, But this is a fragile affair, we don't know how Urgot's doing it, so we can only take the best.
Lux: You're going to get Brolaf And Bro Gath aren't you...
Pantheon: And Yi.
(Meanwhile on summoners rift)
Yi: *Shivering* brrruuwwrrr...
Yi: Oh no...
Vladimir: What is it?
Yi: ...I...I don't know...
A friend of a friend
(Before they went to find help Lux insisted that he should look at her brother, as they arrived at their destination Pantheon was shocked to realize that it was an emergency room, as they found Garen Pantheon was shocked further by the fact that Garen was lying unconscious in a hospital bed)
Pantheon: Oh god...Garen..what happened?
Lux: He's been like this for day's. He was in a bush, you know, like he does for fun sometimes, when he stepped on a teemoshroom...he hasn't woken up since.
Pantheon: Good lord...downed by one teemoshroom...this is bad...wait...I know, let him borrow the innervating locket, it has healing properties!
Lux: Well...I thought of that...but...
Lux: It's gone.
Pantheon: *shocked* We must stop Urgot before it's too late.
Lux: Yes, we should go get your friends...but do you really think Brolaf is the best way to go...he seems a little...crude...
Pantheon: That's just what he's like on the outside, he's pretty smart.
Lux: Umm...well I'll take your word for it, but the last time I saw him he was riding Bro Gath...shooting Karthai...
Pantheon: Yeah...he was pretty drunk that night...
Lux: All I'm saying is, he's not the brightest ray in the sky.
Pantheon: Hm...well I'll tell you, if Urgot really is doing what we thik he is there is no one in the world you would want by your side more.
Lux: Okay, but we're taking one of my friends too.
(Arriving at a nondescript house Lux walked up the driveway)
Pantheon: So...how do you know him?
Lux: Well...when I was new to the league I didn't really know anyone, except my brother...but well I wanted a friend you know?
Pantheon: Yeah...but him? really?
Lux: He's nicer than he seems.
Veigar: *opening the door, drinking a smoothie* Who is i- *looking at Pantheon* No. *shut the door again*
Lux: *stuffing her baton in the gap* Hey! It's me.
Veigar: Yes, It's you, with *pointing at Pantheon* him.
Lux: We're gunna go Hurt Urgot, and maybe the new snake chick. Do you wanna help or not?
Veigar: Well I don't want to help, but hurting people is always fun. *reopening the door*
Pantheon: Thanks man we need all the-
Veigar: *cutting him off* Shut up before I turn you inside out. (to Lux) So who else is coming? Or is it just us three?
Lux: No we're going to go get a coupe of pantheons friends.
Veigar: *stopping* No, we're not.
Lux: Don't worry, it's just Bro Gath, Yi and Brolaf.
Veigar: Bro Gath I can understand, Yi? yeah sure, but brolaf? WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Lux: Pantheons Idea, anyway, he can't be that bad.
Veigar: He spilled my smoothie...
Lux: Aww...well I'll make him say sorry.
Veigar: *Staring at her with a look of pure anger*
Lux: Kidding, I'll just bat him over the head a couple of times. *smiling sweetly*
Veigar: *looking slightly more satisfied*
Pantheon: (thinking to himself) How does he do that...maybe I should be a tiny, hyper aggressive, smoothie drinking, evil sorcerer...hmm that's four things that I don't have...nah, I'll just stick to Rammus style.
Lux: Okay, now hold onto Pantheons shield. *holding onto Pantheons arm*
Veigar: Why? *grabbing it*
Pantheon: You guys holding on? Good. Off we go! *rockets off*
Veigar: *Holding on for dear life* Sweet mother of mercy! What the hell! Arrgh! What the hell! What is this! What the hell! Why are we flying! What the hell! Get me down, I don't like heights! What the hell!
Lux: Calm down, Pantheon can fly, that's all. And if you fall I'll catch you.
Veigar: *continues swearing but cannot be heard above the wind*
Rule #2 of doing questionably legal activities: Do it with friends.
(after flying to Brolaf's place where he knew Bro Gath and Yi would be pantheon descended)
Veigar: I...I...uh oh... *Throws up in a bush* I'm never, ever flying again.
Lux: I don't know what your complaining about really, I found it was rather exhilarating.
Pantheon: I don't know what you guys are talking about...It's just like walking really.
Veigar: Shut up. Never talk again! Never!
Pantheon: *laughing* This guys great.
Veigar: *Starts cursing under his breath*
Pantheon: *walking up to the doorway* Yo, Bro's you guys ready?
Brolaf: *Jumping out the window* OH YEAH!
Yi: *Opening the door* Dude, I told you, you don't need to jump out the window! It just means you have to replace it!
Pantheon: So Yi, you ready?
Yi: Oh yes, and that's another thing, what are we actually doing? You haven't told us yet.
Bro Gath: *slowly squeezing through the doorway* I...Ugh...I too would like to know what it is that we will be participating in.
Lux: Okay, we think Urgots done something very bad.
Brolaf: He hasn't gone and farted in the bush again has he?
Yi: oooh man, don't even joke about that, those things can kill.
Pantheon: No it's worse, he's been getting stronger, this we know right?
Brolaf: uhh yeah.
Pantheon: Well a whole bunch of Champions have been getting weaker, as are items and well the innervating locket has disappeared.
Brolaf: Wait...your right, my cousin said something about feeling a bit off.
Lux: It get's worse Garen is on his death bed, they said if he get's any worse they'll have to start replacing parts with machinery.
Bro Gath: you mean...
Lux: Yes, he will be just like what Urgot was.
Bro Gath: Those dastardly... No one deserves that fate...well except Urgot of course.
Yi: So...wait...what are you suggesting?
Pantheon: Urgot is stealing their power.
Yi: So...your not even going to ask anyone, or anything? Your just going to assume it's so and expect us to too?
Pantheon: Well...yeah actually... it seemed like the most reasonable explanation at the time.
Yi: But you have no proof, there are many other far more sensible reasons.
Pantheon: Other reasons for Garen becoming incapacitated?
Yi: hmm...you do have a point...
Brolaf: It's settled then, were going to kill Urgot.
Yi: Wait what? kill him!? No one said anything about killing!
Pantheon: And Cassiopia.
Brolaf: Ah, okay, it's settled, we're going to go kill Urgot and Cassiopia.
Yi: I will not take part in killing anyone!
Bro Gath: Well I don't see why not. You almost killed Urgot before and no one really knows about or likes Cassiopia yet.
Yi: That doesn't make it right.
Pantheon: Look we're doing this with, or without you.
Lux: Cooome ooon Yi! I'll put a word in for you with Irelia.
Yi: I didn't even know you guys we're friends?
Pantheon: They're not, but you're coming.
Yi: ...Look I'll come but if we don't have proof I'm not going to help you.
Pantheon: Okay, is everyone ready?
Lux: just a second...how are we going to do this?
Pantheon: What do you mean?
Lux: well we can't all grab onto you...I mean Bro Gath doesn't even have hands.
Pantheon: Hmm...well I think If we did it right I could manage it.
Veigar: No. We're not flying again. Ever again. I don't like flying. I don't like you. We are catching a cab.
Pantheon: Fine...but if we're going to catch a cab I'm not paying the bill.
Bro Gath: I'd be happy to pay my good sir.
(they eventually get a taxi to arrive, not driven by a champion of the league, why would they be driving taxi's?! Just an ordinary person. As soon as the cab arrived Veigar ran to get the front seat)
Brolaf: Dang it I wanted shotgun...
Lux: Trust me it's easier this way.
(one by one they climbed into the back seat. Ending up with Pantheon and lux on the left, Brolaf and Yi on the right and Bro Gath in the middle trying his best not to crush the other passengers.)
Yi: *trying to make himself as small as possible to save space* Now...I think we probably should have asked for two cabs...
Lux: We didn't have the money...
Brolaf: Yeah...I spent all my money on uhh...groceries?
Yi: *staring at him*
Brolaf: *looking ashamed* I spent it on stamps...
Bro Gath: *letting out a mighty roar of laughter, shaking the cab* I must say that is a jolly ruse.
Brolaf: *sulking* I started when I was a kid...
Pantheon: Wait...so you...Brolaf...Collect stamps! Oh this is too good!
Brolaf: Shut up!
Veigar: Yes, do shut up. (in a burst of anger) ALL OF YOU!
(The rest of the ride proceeded in silence.)
In The Cab
(Everyone is squashed up in the back, no one is comfortable, with the exception of Veigar, and despite cho's best efforts his head had now made a hole in the roof.)
Yi: *sniffing the air* What the- aaawrrgh!
Pantheon: *upon realizing that something smelt bad involuntarily sniffed the air as well* Co-! Christ! What the- Errgurr!! It smells like something died in my nose!
Lux: *Upon smelling the stench clamps her nose with her fingers then spurts out* Oh god! I can taste it! *closes her mouth, gagging*
Bro Gath: Now who would let such a repulsive stench in such a confined space? very ungentlemanly.
Brolaf: Don't look at me Bro. Who ever smelt it dealt it.
Yi: You think that was me? It smells like rotten fruit! When was the last time I've had fruit? yeah, last halloween, the mana encrusted apple, anyway this smells more like strawberri- *looking at Veigar*
Veigar: *sheepishly hiding behind the seat hidden from view of all those in the back seat*
Pantheon: Well don't just sit there, open this place up!
Yi: *Starts opening the window*
Bro Gath: Don't bother my friend. *Ripping off the roof, shortly after which the cab came to a sudden halt*
Driver: Alright, all of you, out. I don't care if you're champions. Out.
(with this everyone in the back seat slowly filed out, Lux briefly hitting Brolaf over the back of the head with her baton as she hopped out, leaving him quite confused. Veigar waited till they had all exited, hoped out then turned to the man, furious about being kicked out.)
Veigar: Suffer. *firing a ball of energy from his staff he exploded the remains of the car, sending it's driver flying into a nearby garden*
Lux: *spinning around* What the!? Ohh, it's just you Veigar, I thought something bad had happened.
Pantheon: Come on, we can probably walk the rest of the way.
(with that, they began to walk in the direction of Urgots home)
Urgot lives a long way away...
(Pantheon, Yi, Lux Bro Gath and veigar had been walking for quite some time through the suburbs, Brolaf had it far and was sitting on Bro Gath's back. Yi turned out to be the only one who actually knew where urgot lived.)
Yi: So...If I hadn't come you guys would just have wondered off for a mile or two, gotten lost and given up?
Pantheon: Uhh...Nah...I'm pretty sure we would have found it eventually.
Lux: But I don't think Veigar would have been very happy if he found out we had no idea where we were going.
Veigar: That is correct...My feet hurt.
Pantheon: Do you want to Ride Bro gath? We can kick Brolaf off if you want.
Bro Gath: I'd prefer it if I was not looked upon as a common steed. I am just as civilized, if not more, than yourself.
Yi: That's not exactly hard when comparing to Pantheon.
Pantheon: hey...wait do I take offense to that?
Brolaf: *looking down nodding*
Pantheon: Oh, ok. Shut up Yi.
Veigar: I will take your offer. *Climbs up onto Bro Gath with great difficulty, then bashing Brolaf off with his staff*
Brolaf: *after crashing into the ground* Not cool bro! Why'd you push me, off? Coulda just asked...
Veigar: Shut Up.
Brolaf: Uhh...Ya mum!
Pantheon: Guys, can we stop fighting, we gotta be together to beat Urgot.
Brolaf: To be honest Bro, I don't know why you needed all of us here to kill that fat sack. Yi opened him up, broke his legs, set him on fire and...well...hurt him in general on his own without even trying!
Yi: That was because he had my money...the wuju style dictates that we must be loan sharks, if someone borrows our money and doesn't repay we are forced to cause as much pain to the individual as poss-
Brolaf: Not the point Bro, what I'm saying is: He's not that hard to take down!
Veigar: The stupid man wearing two polo shirts is right. I could kill that freak with my hands tied behind my back.
Lux: You could kill most people with your hands tied behind your back.
Veigar: *cackling* Yes, you do have a point.
Pantheon: Anyway, he could be even more powerful than we remember. We need to stop him before whatever he is doing makes Garen any worse.
(they had by now entered the city in which Urgot lived and stopped at a lunch place, everyone ordered their meals, pantheon and Brolaf split a pizza, each trying to eat as much as possible as fast as possible so that the other didn't eat his share, Yi Ordered some fish and chips, Lux Ordered a sandwich, Veigar ordered a strawberrie smoothie and Bho Gath somehow came out with a whole roast pig.)
Bro Gath: Omnomnomnomnom! *eating his whole roast pig*
Yi: To be honest I'm still surprised they let you have that...it could have been a meal for ten people.
Bro Gath: Well as civilized as I am I find my hunger rather uncontrollable. *in a demonic voice* It was this or them. *coughing* Goodness me, that was an odd turn, what just happened?
Brolaf: Dude...that was weird, you were like "It was this or them" But it was in your old voice! Cool.
Lux: Uhh...are you sure that's a good thing?
Brolaf: I don't know but it sounded pretty awesome.
Pantheon: Well let's just keep him fed then. Not too much farther now.
Brolaf: Shotgun Bro Gath!
Bro Gath: Ehem.
Brolaf: I mean...uhh could you carry me Bro?
Bro Gath: *more satisfied* Most Certainly.
Lux: Don't worry veigar, I'll give you a piggy back if you want?
Veigar: *shooting her a look*
Lux: Geeze, sorry, was just an offer.
(And with that pantheon Led the way until Yi told him it was the wrong way, after which point Yi led the way)
Brolaf: *Arriving at Urgot's place, then smelling the air* Hmm...doesn't smell like Urgots place...
(Strange voice) That's because it isn't. So I ask you, why are you here?
Pantheon: Who are- You!
The Guy at Urgot's Place
(The group had arrived at what they had thought was Urgots apartment, but seemed to be no longer inhabited by the bloated bag on stilts, and had now been confronted by a mad sitting in shadows)
Pantheon: What...how are you here!?
(Shady Guy): I am much like your friend mundo, I go where I please. But I must say, it is good to see you again my frie-
Brolaf: Oh, I see what he did there, cause that's like a meme and he totally just went there!
Veigar: *looking fed up, fires a blast of energy at Brolaf, knocking him off Bro Gath* Shut it.
(Shady Guy): I can see you brought an angry dwarf...and a viking...and a master of...Wuju style isn't it? Yes Wuju style, along with a stereo typical demacian soldier girl...with a wand...and...a monster? Quite an entourage.
Veigar: Angry dwarf...ANGRY DWARF!? *Charging up a beam of energy in his staff*
(Shady Guy): Alfred. *whistling*
(Suddenly a huge dragon reared out of the shadow, letting out a Roar which thoroughly entertained Pantheon, but scared the living Christ out of the rest of the group, much to Pantheons surprise, even Veigar seemed a little shaken. Yi, Brolaf, Cho Gath and Lux moved into combat positions)
Lux: *Screaming* what the! Why is there! who! Wha- Who are you?
Pantheon: His names Quint. He's a dragon tamer...well he is now, This fella *Pointing at the dragon* was just a bub last time I saw it...goodness me! he has grown, now hasn't he?
Brolaf: Wait...so you know this guy? Normally we don't know anyone who doesn't make an appearance in the league...and those we do...well...I would hate to be that taxi driver...
Pantheon: that's the thing, I met when we were applying for the league. they wouldn't let him in cause his dragon was too small...well look at him now eh? This guy is awesome. he has a flame sword, his dragon can do tricks and-
Bro Gath: *To Alfred* Hello good sir, I don't suppose you talk would you?
Bro Gath: Ah well, that's a shame then.
Lux: Aww...were you trying to make a friend? It's okay, I'm sure we'll find some other monster for you to be friends with. Unlike that Little Kog Maw...jerk...
Bro Gath: *sighs heavily*
Quint: Now back to my question: Why are you here?
Pantheon: Urgot's evil, were gunna go beat the cra p out of him.
Quint: ahh, yes. so you know what he has been-
Yi: Wait, wait, wait. Recap here: You met him while applying to the league...he tames Dragons...and he is here in the shadow waiting for us...why?
Quint: Well, I'm actually quite glad you asked. You see, I wanted to become a champion of the league as you well know, but they rejected me. Ever since I've started up a little...how do you say it...vigilante service in which I have learned a great many things.
Lux: So...why don't you apply again?
Quint: May I remind you of an old friend of mine. His name was Urf. Urf the Manatee. he attempted to enter the league just a day after I did, he was never seen again. now, most of us know who did it. That's right. It was Urgot.
Yi: No it wasn't it wa-
Quint: That's right. Urgot. He was jealous of Urf's power and wanted it for himself, and so he did away with Urf and took his power in order to be good enough to qualify for the league. I've been hunting him down ever since.
Pantheon: So it as Urgot all along!
Lux: wait...I think Yi's right I'm pretty sure warwi-
Quint: Yes, yes, Warwick wears his skin, it is a memorial. When he found him Urf had been sucked dry.
Yi: No...I'm pretty su-
Quint: Enough of this banter. We must move, he plans to do with your brother what he did to Urf! He now believes his foot hold is strong enough he can get away with it, and if he continues to drain the power from champions he will be!
Lux: Oh no! I don't want Warwick wearing my brothers skin!
Pantheon: Then we better act now.
Yi: Wait another second. How do you know all of this Quint?
Quint: I've been stalking Urgot ever since I figured out what happened to Urf. He is now living in an uptown estate, he's been making big money recently, using your brothers power. I can fly you there is you wish.
Veigar: *Chucking a tantrum* No! I Don't like flying! NO! NO! NO! NO!
Pantheon: *Surprised at the sudden loss of his usual threatening demeanor* Heh, it might be different flying a dragon, you never know, you might like it!
Veigar: *Turning around with a look of hatred, stares at pantheon, who backs off immediately* We. Are. Not. Flying.
Quint: Ah, Then It's a good thing I brought these. *Holding out a handful of Blue pills*
Lux: what are those?
Yi: Oh no...not these again...
Veigar: Meh, better than flying. Grabbing a pill, he shoved in his moth, glowed blu for a second, then disappeared into thin air.
Lux: VEIGAR! What have you done to him!?
Quint: Fear not my dear lady, he is fine, he will find himself at the base of Urots new apartment block. Alright everyone, down the hatches. *passing everyone a pill, then swallowing one himself* Three...two...one...
(and with that they were gone)
Urgot is Evil!
(After swallowing the pills the group now found themselves srrounded by snow, now falling from the sky, outside a large tower, at the top of which was a neon sign that, they assumed, was meant to be a picture of Urgot, above it were the words: Urgot's Pad!)
Pantheon: Wow, someones gotten a bit up them self.
Quint: Yes, he's become quite popular of late, he even has a cooking show. It has resulted in bad food all across the country.
Brolaf: Oh...dude that guy IS evil!
Veigar: Can we just go up and kill him? I want to go home...
Pantheon: Yes, that is probably a good idea... How are we going to do this?
Quint: There's an elevator inside. You know, one of those smallish ones, the ones that are meant to carry like five people.
Pantheon: *smiling* Oh good, We have exactly five people, and two huge monsters, but they don't count. So we should be good.
Yi: *face palming, but not saying anything*
(with that, they all walked in, now a rather large crowd and also contained two monsters, the presence of whom scared the living daylights out of any passes by. After walking across the lobby, crushing two people, (by accident of course) and destroying much of the reception desk, they reached the elevator. All of them went in.)
Bro Gath: Sorry chaps...I don't mean to take up so much room...
Brolaf: *riding on Bro Gath, bending over due to the low ceiling* It's cool bro, it's only two hundred and twenty six floors. Actually...did you hear that?
Bro Gath: yes...security is coming...
Brolaf: *Turning to the others* Guy's this is where we get off, we're gunna go hold off the security.
Pantheon: But...we don't know how many there are!
Brolaf: Bro calm down. I doubt a hundred men would be able to take down a viking riding a monster.
Pantheon: Good luck Bro's.
Brolaf: Go kick his ass. *Bro fisting them as Bro Gath crawled out of the elevator*
Bro Gath: *Letting out a roar at the on coming wave of security guards just as the elevator doors closed*
Pantheon: ****...that bro is crazy...
Veigar: *being crushed in the corner by the dragons back leg, simply continued to swear under his breath*
Pantheon: You know Veigar, if you weren't so **** terrified of flying we wouldn't be in this mess.
Veigar: Yes, and if you weren't so pitiful and useless I wouldn't have to be here at all!
Lux: Hey, could we stop fighting guys? hey...can someone reach the button? I'm kinda getting squashed by the dragon...
Quint: His name is Alfred. *then reaching over pressed the button*
(after a solid 10 minutes of being crushed, crushing and being in all round pain, the elevator reached the top, the room it'self was immaculate, huge windows stretching from the floor to the room, expensive furtinture and some strange control panel in the middle. But as they looked up they were met with an unpleasant sight, in front of the elevator door was Cassiopia, as they all tumbled out she spoke)
Cassiopia: Glad you could join us, I saw you come in through the security system. now I ask you: what exactly is it that you are doing here?
Pantheon: We're here to put a stop to you, and Urgot!
Lux: If you don't release me brother then I'll...then I'll...
Urgot: *crawling over on his mechanical legs* Then you'll what? Fire your lazer? (pretending to be scared) Oh no! She's going to shoot a wee little lazer at me! whatever will I do? (back to normal) Oh right. This, Cassiopia, would you?
Cassiopia: With pleasure. *Then, staring at them, started turning them into stone*
Pantheon: Oh no!
Lux: Oh no!
Yi: Oh no...
Gragas: *Smashing through the wall* OH YEAH!
Pantheon: Gragas! Bro!
Gragas: Hey Bro's thought ya needed some help. *then, diving at Cassiopia, tackled her, sending them both out a window*
Lux: Noo! Gragas!
Pantheon: Nah, don't worry, he'll be fine.
Yi: Trust us, he'll be okay.
Urgot: *Now at the control panel* Which is more than could be said about you I'm afraid. *Pressing a button which causes a force field to appear around them* Ha! that field is impenetrable.
Veigar: How dare you! I will blast you within an inch of your life!
Urgot: Now how are you going to do that? You're all talk Veigar, *laughing* You're not evil.
Veigar: Stop laughing! I am evil!
Urgot: Well, whatever power you may have will soon be mine! For now, I shall expose you to the same chemical I exposed to Garen, and Urf before him! Now yo-
Yi: (cutting him off) Wait. Wait. Wait. Just a second. It was you that killed Urf?
Urgot: Well... Yes... Isn't that why you're all here?
Lux: Uhh...we were here to save my broth-
Yi: I thought Warwick killed him!
Urgot: No, he wears his skin as a memorial. Those guys we're good friends. But I've told you too much already. now...which button releases the chemical...uhh...the red one...*presses it and a large amount of water is poured on his head* Ugh...maybe...the blue one...*presses it for the same result* Dammit...wheres the manual for this thing...
(Unidentified voice): You will not press that button Urgot.
Urgot: Oh yes? And who's going to stop me?
Tristana: *appearing from behind the wall smashed in by Gragas* That would be me.
Urgot: Wait... First Gragas...and now Tristana?Tristana? what the heck is going on around here? have they been followed by every second champion in the league?! Bah, it matters not, I am too powerful, go on, try to hit me. I dare you.
Tristana: I've never been one to back down from a dare. *then unleashing a volley of cannon balls at urgot, only to see them bounce off his strange body* What the...
Urgot: I have inherited Garen's indestructibility. You cannot hope to hurt me. *then walking over, grabbing her in his claw*
(Suddenly the air seemed to Vibrate, Urgot looking around saw no one new arrive, then looking at The force field saw Veigar, who was now lifting into the air somehow, with energy glowing at his fingertips)
Urgot: Oh cra- *getting cut off by a huge blast of energy aimed at his head, letting go of Tristana, but sending her into a wall unconscious and flying across the room, crashing into the control panel*
Veigar: *who had now completely decimated the force field, now waddled over to urgot, who was no on his side, climbed up on top of him and sent wave after wave of strange energies at him* You dare think you can capture me!? You dare think you can laugh at me!? You dare think I'm not evil!? (suddenly calm) Oh...I'll show you evil.
Urgot: Uh oh...
Veigar: *Climbing on top of the control panel, pulling out the Deathfire Grasp* I shall show you true terror. *The deathfire Grasp begins to glow and Urgot goes into a sort of trance, and seems to be in intense pain, then Sending a bolt of energy at his life support system walked over to Tristana, trying to wake her up.*
Pantheon: (to Lux) Uhh...what just happened?
Lux: I have no idea...(to Veigar) Uhh...so...is he dead?
Veigar: *Still focused on Tristana* Uhh...mostly he is in a state of well...let's just say, he won't be anything special next time he goes back to the league. And uhh...if you don't take him to a repair man soon he'll probably die.
Brolaf: *Smashing his way through the floorboards* hey guys, we're done withe the guards...dude *Looking at the twitching mass of flesh and machine*...what happened to Urgot? And where's Cassiopia?
Pantheon: Gragas did a cool aid guy on Cassiopia and well Urgot...I'm not actually sure...
Brolaf: Looking at Veigar: Bro! I didn't know you had a girl? I didn't know you even liked girls...or anyone for that matter!
Veigar: *finally managing to wake her up* Huh? Why wouldn't I? She black mails, she hurts people, she likes strawberry smoothies, she's evil, in her own way of course and best of all she hates you guys. She's perfect!
Pantheon: Uhh(to Lux) is this a good thing or a bad thing.
Lux: It's...a thing....I don't know if we can really call it bad...or...good...
Tristana: *coming to her senses, and standing up* Hey Veigar, now that your done with repaying the blonde girl, wanna go help me steal some of teemo's mushrooms?
Veigar: *cackling* Yes, that does sound like fun!
Tristana: Sweet, let's go! *firing a rocket at the ground propelling them upward, through the hole in the window as Veigar gives the finger to Brolaf, while waving goodbye to lux*
Yi: I...I don't think any of us saw that coming...
Lux: ..yes...well...yes...umm...what do we do with Urgot? *looking once more at the writhing mass*
Quint: Well...when Urgot crashed into the control panel...it seems to have broken, which I believe would stop the effects of the chemical on your brother.
Lux: Will he ever be the same as he was?
Quint: I don't know...only time will tell...In the mean time I guess we should get urgot to a technician to erase his memories.
Bro Gath: *climbing through the floorboards* Uhh, there is no need for that, I am a fully qualified techmagical expert. I could have him with no recollection of the whole experience in seconds.
Brolaf: Wait...your a what? dumb it down a little.
Bro Gath: I'm a whiz with a wrench.
Brolaf: Ahh, cool bro.
Bro Gath: *fiddling with the strange technology that made up Urgot's brain* There, done.
Pantheon: Soo...were just...done...just like that?
Bro Gath: Yes.
Pantheon: soo....who's up for the dungeon then?
And so with that they were off, flying their way back home and went to the dungeon.
Where it turned out that Gragas and Cassiopia had actually, while falling out the window, hooked up.
Yi Continued to be frustrated at Pantheons conclusion that Veigar get's all the girls.
Quint and stayed for a drink or two but left saying that only saying that if things went right he may return.
Pantheon finally managed to make a female friend who he didn't try to hit on, an honor Lux did not take lightly.
Bro gath and Brolaf decided it was about time that they got Bro Gath a wrist band and a polo shirt or two. And had another round of "Who can get Miss Fortune into bed first"
And Veigar and Tristana stole Teemo's entire stash, then set teemo on fire.
Girl's Day Out
-Because Nidalee was now officially dating Pantheon she was becoming a little more known to the other champions. She receives an invite from Evelynn, Sivir, Soraka, and Janna for a girl’s day out to the mall. She agrees to go with Pantheon’s encouragement but against her better judgment.-
Evelynn: *Impatiently* There you are!
Janna: *smiles* Was beginning to wonder if you were going to make it.
Nidalee: *looks dizzily at the large constructed mall* That’s… a lot of people…
Soraka: *concerned* You ok, hun? *placing a hand on her Nid’s shoulder*
Sivir: *annoyed* Oh will you stop fussing, let’s go! *giving Soraka a hard nudge*
-The 5 girls walk inside and agree to eat lunch before they begin shopping. They decide on a pizza place and as they snatch their slices, the girls give Nid a disgusted look at her Anchovie choice. They sit at the nearest empty table they could find as the place was packed with people.-
Janna: The Snowdown Showdown always creates a huge turn out for the mall. *looking around at the crowd*
Nidalee: *confused* Why?
Sivir: *raising an eyebrow* Are you really that isolated?
Evelynn: *blank stare* Gifts, duh!
Soraka: *kindly* This time of year, everyone exchanges gifts for Snowdown Showdown, hun.
Nidalee: *looking as though nothing has been explained to her*
Sivir: *chuckles* You and Pantheon are so right for each other. *rolls her eyes*
Janna: Don’t worry about why Nid.
Evelynn: You should be thinking about what to get Pantheon.
Soraka: *smiles* Do you know what you’re getting Twisted Fate, yet?
Evelynn: *shakes her head no as she chews her pizza*
Janna: I wonder what Pantheon is going to get you.
Sivir: *scoffs* If he even remembers.
Nidalee: *swallows her food* I still don’t understand. What would be the purpose of him getting me a gift?
-The four women stare blankly at Nidalee.-
Evelynn: Ok… *looks at the other three* …yea I don’t know to answer.
Soraka: *sighs* Sweety, just, look for something he might like.
Janna: Yea, and if he does give you something for Snowdown Showdown, you’ll have a present for him.
Soraka: *smiles* If he forgets, then just keep it for his birthday or something. Ok, hun?
Nidalee: *still confused* I guess…
Sivir: *grinning* So what’s he like?
-They begin giggling as Nidalee gives another confused look.-
Janna: *leans over the table* You know… *whispers* …in bed.
Nidalee: *eyes light up excited* He’s amazing!
Sivir: *dryly* Least he’s good at something. How big is his…
Soraka: *interrupts* Spear!? *looking around, paranoid of passerby*
Evelynn: *laughs at her embarressment*
Sivir: *annoyed at the interruption* No one is listening you horned twit!
Janna: *smiles* Easy… *indicating to keep voices down*
Evelynn: *looks at Nid* So… well…?
Nidalee: *amused by the conversation* Well….
-Nidalee thinks for a moment staring down at the wooden table. She takes her nail and scratches a line from the top of the table to the bottom to show the approximate size. The four girls begin squealing as their expectations were met and Nidalee takes a bite of her pizza.-
Sivir: Well that explains the lack of intelligence. *laughs at her own joke* He has to make up for that dead weight skull of his some where.
Nidalee: *looks sad at her insult* He doesn’t seem so bad to me.
Janna: *giggles* I bet!
Evelynn: I am so jealous! *staring at the scratch in the table*
Nidalee: *curious look* Wait… None of you have ever been with Pantheon?
Soraka: Honey, he’s sort of… *hesitates* …well he’s not exactly a prime specimen.
Sivir: Yes. Some women require intellectual conversations with their men.
Janna: Oh stop.
Evelynn: *stands up* Let’s get going already!
-The five girls stopped in many stores but Nidalee still couldn’t find anything for Pantheon. That is until they reach a store that appears to be entirely closed off accept for a few leather outfits and spiked collars hanging by the front door.-
Nidalee: *stops and points* What’s this place?
Soraka: Oh hun… that’s an adult store.
Nidalee: *confused* Are we not adults?
Evelynn: *questionatively* I know this place.
Janna: *whispers* She means it’s a *** store.
Nidalee: *surprised* People have *** in there!?
Sivir: For the love of summoners! No you fuzz ball, she means they sell *** toys and outfits.
Nidalee: *eyes light up again and she begins curiously walking to the enterance*
Janna: What is she doing?
Soraka: *grabs Nid’s hand* Hun, why… why are you going in there?
Nidalee: *stops confused* You said I should find something for Pantheon that he would like… *points to the collars* …and he likes spikes.
-Soraka and Janna stand there blushing and looking embarrassed while Evelynn and Sivir wait patiently.-
Sivir: Oh you two are such sissies! *entwining her arm around Nidalee’s* Let’s go.
Evelynn: *grabbing Nid's other arm* I’m game.
Nidalee: *smiles at them* Thanks…
Sivir: *rolls her eyes*
-The long day of shopping and being surrounded by droves of people, left Nidalee ready and eager for a catnap. After saying goodbye to the girls, she heads home to contemplate her gift as well as get some rest.-
Nidalee: *thinking to herself* I hope Sivir and Evelynn were right about this… *gripping her bag nervously*
-The next day Nidalee decides she doesn’t want to wait to give Pantheon his gift. They agree to meet at his place 10:00pm later that night.-
Pantheon: *looks at the clock* I’m meeting Puss… I mean Nid at my place, 10pm.
Brolaf: *hurt* What!? You’re ditching us!? Bro!!
Twisted Fate: *curious* Yea, thought we were going to Warwick’s party tonight? He's having a poker tournament.. *grins*
Yi: Mordakaiser is suppose to be meeting us here, soon.
Pantheon: *confused* Oh… right… **** it. *looking thoughtful*
Yi: Just invite Nid to come alone.
Brolaf: NO! *looking at Yi* He gets all… twitterpated when she’s around. No!
Pantheon: *confused* Twitter-what?
Twisted Fate: *chuckles* Means you’re in loooove…
Pantheon: *curious look at Twisted Fate*
Brolaf: *snaps* NO! It means you’re ***** whipped! *looks at Pantheon* You are ***** whipped, bro!
Yi: *chuckles* We’ll stop by your place on our way and ask her.
Brolaf: *growls to himself as he summons another beer from Singed*
-Mean time Nidalee is already at Pantheon’s home getting ready. She pulls her red leather outfit out of the shopping bag and slips it on. She clasps on the red, leather, spiked collar around her neck, and the matching wrist bands around her wrists. She applies her makeup and then steps into her matching high heals. She stands in front of a mirror doubting the way she looks.-
Nidalee: *mumbles out loud* I don’t see why I couldn’t just get him the collar.
-When Mordekaiser arrived, the guys set off for Pantheon’s house. They walk inside and Yi, Brolaf, Mordekaiser and Twisted Fate stand by the door and wait, while Pantheon begins calling out for Nidalee.-
Nidalee: *hollers from the bathroom* Coming!
Pantheon: Hey, I was wondering if you wanted…
-Nidalee walks out in her get up. Confidently strutting she walks towards him, smiling and not caring about the others. The four guys behind Pantheon stand in shock as they watch her.-
Pantheon: *surprised* Pussycat!
Nidalee: Hey sexy… *kisses him as she wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him down to her*
Mordekaiser: *clenching his teeth* I. HATE. HIM!
Yi: OK!!! Looks like we’re going and he’s not!! *moves to the door*
Twisted Fate: *tilts his head* She looks like Evelynn…
Pantheon: *still dazed*
Brolaf: Bro! Snap out of it!
-Yi opens the door and Mordekaiser stomps outside mumbling cusses about Sona. Twisted Fate shakes his head and shrugs as he follows.-
Brolaf: *still yelling* BRO BEFORE…
Yi: *grabs his arm and yanks him out of the house*
Pantheon <3 Nidalee
The Tea Party
Teemo is sitting on bench in the park enjoying an ice-cream, minding his own business. Suddenly the air gets very hot and his icecream starts to melt. He slowly looks to the right of him a sees Annie sitting there, swinger her feet, looking and smiling at Teemo.
Annie:*In an innocent little girl voice* Hi fuzzy!
Teemo:*In his mind ‘why do I never notice people coming?’* Umm, Hi pyromania girl?
Annie: Want to play with me?
Teemo: No, I don’t think I do.
Annie: *trying puppy eyed look* But I need one more person for my tea party.
Teemo: *starts to walk away* Yeah, sorry. Im “fuzzy” and you’re to found of fire. Not a good combination.
A lage blazing bear appears standing in Teemos’ way.
Annie:*In a demanding, a little demonic voice* You’re coming to my tea party!
Teemo turns around and sees the little girls standing up, fire in her eyes and “holding” a fire ball in one of her hands
Teemo: *nervous swetdrop* ,gulp, Ok.
Still at the park at a large grass area where Annie had set up her tea party. Teemo found him self sitting by a very small round table in very small chair, to left of him sits tibbers and to right of him another doll which resembles a rabbit and infront of him Annie.
Annie: You want more tea Tibbers? Here you go *pretends to pour tea in little plastic cup* What about you Fluffy? You want cream with yours? *looking at the rabbit doll*
Sona and LeBlanch walking nearby notices the little tea party.
LeBlanc: aaww, how cute isn’t that, bluebird?
Sona: *plays an adorable tune*
Teemo: *deep in his thoughts ‘ How do I get out of this?’*
Annie: Ooh, I know what we need!
Snapping Teemo out of his thoughs he looks at Annie who pulls a candle out of a little bag and sets in the middle of the table. He looks worried at the the candle. Soon Annie uses incinerate to lit the candle also setting Teemo across the table on fire.
Teemo: AAAAAAAH! IM BURNING!
Annie:* Looks at Teemo running in circles* Oops. Sowwy! *giggle*
Teemo runs to a fountain nearby and jumps in it catching Nidalee's attention that was drinking out the fountain in her cougar form.
Nidalee: *Looks at Teemo* Overgrown squirrel? Are you alright?
Teemo: ugh, hoospital...
Love In The Jungle
-Nidalee and Pantheon are in the heart of the Kumungu Jungle.-
Pantheon: Uhm… Pussycat? Not that I don’t like seeing where you live, but I thought we were just going to gather some mushrooms and leave? *swatting at noisy insects buzzing around his head*
Nidalee: I want you to meet my family, sexy. *moving easily though the cluster of wild plants* We’re almost there.
Pantheon: Wait… I thought you said you were raised by…
-The two of them enter a small clearing, where a pack of cougars are lounging around by a cave entrance. They see Nidalee and immediately begin to get up to greet her.-
Pantheon:…cougars….*scared witless and freezes in his place*
Nidalee: *bending down to pet each one as they approach* Come here, sexy. *motioning to Pantheon to join her*
Pantheon: *slowly approaches* Uhmm… Pussycat….*whispers* What do I do, here?
Nidalee: Just let them see and smell you. They want to know you can take care of me and provide a family.
Pantheon: What!? *panicking* What happened to just se-x and cuddle time?
Nidalee: If I had a human family, would you tell them that?
Pantheon: No of course not! *hesitates* Oh ok… I see your point.
-Nidalee grabs his arm and pulls him closer. The cougars seem to approve as they remain calm but curious.-
Nidalee: Ugh oh…
Pantheon: Don’t say that. Why are you saying that. *scared to take his eyes off the many cougars already in front of him, sniffing him and staring back.*
-Nidalee doesn't respond so Pantheon finally looks up to see the biggest cougar of them all, emerge from the cave.-
Nidalee: I didn’t think he’d still be here… We should go.
Pantheon: He who? Who is he?
-The rest of the cougars that were in front of them, got up and left. The huge male spots what the fuss was about and starts to approach.-
Nidalee: Too late…
Pantheon: Too late? Never too late to run…*takes a step back*
Nidalee: *squeezes his arm* Stay here. Got it? This will only take a second.
Pantheon: What will only…
Nidalee: *shifts into cougar*
Pantheon: Oh… *feeling very out of place, begins to fidget*
-After what seems like forever to Pantheon, Nidalee returns to her human form.-
Nidalee: Ummm well… He wants to test your strength.
Pantheon: *rattled* Test my… who is he?
Nidalee: I dont know how to explain that... my pack leader? Father maybe?
-The massive cougar begins to circle Pantheon.-
Pantheon: What’s he doing? … Pussycat!!!
Nidalee: Relax… the fight was set for dawn tomorrow.
Pantheon: Fight? What match?
Nidalee: I told you, he wants to test your strength. You will have a duel tomorrow but first lets meet the rest of them.
Pantheon: There’s more!?
Nidalee: In the cave, sexy. *excited* C’mon! *tugging on his arm*
-After Nidalee introduces Pantheon to all the cougars, she leads him to the back of the cave where her old bed remains, untouched.-
Pantheon: This is where you slept? *pointing to a pile of furs and scrap cloths*
Nidalee: *lowering herself into her bed* I was raised by cougars, sexy, did you expect me to have a 4-post bed?
Pantheon: No… I… guess I didn’t think about it. *sits down next to Nidalee*
Nidalee: *noticing Pantheon is unhappy* I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have brought you here.
Pantheon: What about this match tomorrow? Am I suppose to… kill your… whatever he is…
Nidalee: Only if he doesn’t surrender first. *she moves closer to him*
Pantheon: *getting upset* How do I know if he surrenders? I don’t speak…CAT!
Nidalee: If he turns his back on you and walks away, he surrenders. *wrapping her arms around his and purrs in his ear*
Pantheon: *her affection calms him* I won’t surrender.
Nidalee: I know
Pantheon: I don’t want to kill him.
Nidalee: I know, but you will if you must, right?
Pantheon: If I do, are you going to be mad?
Nidalee: *looking at him with all the sincerity in the world* No.
Pantheon: You don’t seem worried about me...
Nidalee: *caressing his chest* That's because YOU are my sexy, beast. *smiling* No one can take you down but me. *pushing him on his back, and straddles him*
-As scheduled, by dawn the cougars and Nidalee stood in a circle around the monstrous cat and Pantheon. The fight would begin at the leader’s roar, so when the large beast shook the ground with his massive growl, the fight was on.-
-The cougar, making the first move, leaped across the circle at Pantheon. Pantheon held up his shield and dug his feet into the ground. The weight of the beast made him slide backwards, but Pantheon held his ground. Without a moment to hesitate the cougar pawed at his shield, trying to move it from his target. Pantheon pushed the cougar aside with all his strength with the shield, knocking the cat on his side, then threw his spear at the beast, barely missing as it sticks into the ground.-
Pantheon: *thinks to himself* Try not to kill him, try not to kill him.
-The cougar, getting back to his feet, begins circling Pantheon, growling at him. Pantheon watches him, trying to calculate his next move. The large cat leaps again, this time lower, catching Pantheon in the leg with his claws. Pantheon, ignoring pain, jumps on the cougar, stunning him.-
Pantheon: *thinks to himself* I just have to show him strength…
-While the cougar was stunned, Pantheon crouches down slightly and begins to jump, shooting up in the air. As the cougar regains his balance, looks around, and growls… frustrated his target is missing. A few seconds later a huge shadow appears over the large cat.-
Pantheon: MAAAAAAAAAN DROOOOOOOOOOOP!!!!!!!!!
-Pantheon lands directly behind the cougar and lashes out his heart seeker strike. Pantheon stops for a second, waiting to see what the beasts next move would be. The injured cat, gaining his balance once again, growls under his breath, but reluctantly turns his back and walks away.-
Nidalee: *running over to Pantheon* I knew you would be fine! *throwing herself at him in a hug*
Pantheon: *grabbing his leg* Can we find those mushrooms now?
-Nidalee and Pantheon finally return home, with a bag of mushrooms for Teemo. Nidalee agreed that after meeting with her squirrel at the park, they would go to the Dungeon and meet up with Yi and Brolaf.-
Teemo: Crazy cat lady! *jumping from the shrubs*
Nidalee: There’s my squirrel! *happily handing over her bag of mushrooms* Happy Snowdown Showdown, critter. *hugging him*
Pantheon: Teemo?! Teemo, is your squirrel!?
Teemo: *giving a nasty look to Pantheon* Thank you crazy cat lady! *jumping back into the shrubs*
Pantheon: I almost had my leg raked off by a cougar for Teemo!?
-After Nidalee calmed Pantheon down a bit with a seductive explanation of reasoning, Pantheon flew them to the Dungeon.-
Yi: There you are man.
Brolaf: *seeing Nidalee and sighs* Hey bro, how was the Jungle?
Pantheon: *grumbles* Don’t ask.
Nidalee: *looking guilty* It was a little more then he expected.
Yi: What happened to your leg?
Pantheon: *confronting Singed behind the bar* I need the strongest drink you have!
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