The Redeemer, The troubled mind of Shauna vayne

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Perdicus

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Senior Member

05-01-2013

Part Three is up (unleash thine vicious feedbacks :P)

The Redeemer Part one: Lux and Alice

Vayne has been on the run, always moving forward, always moving on, for almost all of her life. Until one day a strange feeling in the corridor, desire, one that she can’t seem to ignore, forces her to take down her mental barriers, confront her past, and accept herself

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“My name is Shauna Vayne, the night hunter; I am a champion in the league of legends.”
Having wrote that she sat back and thought, about how she was going to write what she wanted to, or even if she could write it, that was how she dealt with her emotions, she wrote them down, and then burned them. Deciding that the emotions were still too raw to process, she undressed and laid down in bed, thinking about the day.
It had begun like any other day, and indeed it was an ordinary day, but it didn’t feel like an ordinary day.

“Feel”, she didn’t “feel”, “Your falling apart Vayne, get a hold on yourself, forget this business with Lux, and move on”

“Lux”

“Lux”

She said it to herself in her mind, and then out loud, and once again she shivered, not of cold, but of something else…

It was all about Lux, and yet she didn’t think it was actually about Lux…
She played the important events of the day in her mind, starting as she left her room in the morning, heading down to the mess she had seen lux coming the other way in the hallway, no doubt on the way to “introduce herself” to the new champion, Riven, the exile. A former Noxian, Riven would need some watching, but Vayne suspected that she wouldn’t be too much trouble; she was probably a mental wreck, she’d been running from both Noxus and Ioinia for over a year. Vayne could almost picture a gruff Riven turning Lux away. Smiling mentally at the prospect moved to she walked past Lux.
That was the point when it happened

As she walked past lux she had felt that feeling, she had just lightly brushed up against lux, which was unusual, she never let people just touch her like that, she always kept her distance and as soon as Lux broke contact, she had felt it, that shiver, what was that feeling, it made her want both to hide in a corner and to get as close to lux as possible, the last time she had felt that feeling was back with Alice…

“Alice”

She had pushed Alice out of her mind for so long almost to the point of forgetting her, but recalling her now, she could almost picture that park bench, and suddenly she was there…

In a park in the rich district of Demacia, with tall and handsome oaks and immaculate grass, two girls are sitting on a bench, both of them are around 13, one is tall with long red hair in a braid down her back, the other is an average height with her black hair up in a bun. They are chatting about their day at school, both of them still in the uniforms of a private school. They are Shanna Vayne and Alice Weston,
Suddenly Alice reaches over and pulls out the pin holding up Vayne’s hair, it falls down to her shoulders and Alice starts running her fingers through Vayne’s hair a gentle but visible shudder, runs through Vayne’s body Alice shuffles down the bench until she is right next to Vayne, still playing with her hair, she keeps leaning in, getting closer and closer…


The adult Vayne snapped back to reality, sweating. It had been years since she had a flashback like that

“Your falling apart Vayne, get a hold on yourself”

She had discovered the flashbacks normally happened when she was troubled or confused; she had had them more frequently when she was younger. But hadn’t had one in years, now confused and afraid, she lay in bed. She feared no man or woman, but she was reduced to a quivering heap by her own mind, it troubled and angered her.

‘What is happening to you” she thought.

“you put up all of these barriers, barriers to emotion, barriers to connection, you walled yourself off from the world and to what end?”

“I still have purpose, a job to finish” part of her brain answered

“But there is more to life then that”

Unable to come up with a fitting reply she rolled over and tried to push the events of the day from her mind, but she couldn't…

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Author’s Note(s): This work of fiction is inspired by and references to Guiding Light by Cerubois, read it here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7599936/1/Guiding_Light although this seems like a spin-off, it’s just what I’m using as a starting point the stories diverge fairly quickly.
To all those wondering, yes there will be a romance component (Interned cookies to whoever can guess with whom), but the Vayne character isn’t there yet, so enjoy the ride. (if you don’t want to then come back at Chapter 11)
The chapters are fairly short but the plan is to churn out 1-2 per week, my life is crazy ATM however.
I should probably insert the standard Mature content upcoming warning (18+, except that I don’t qualify)
Oh and the first 3 installments will come out close together (hopefully) so hold on to the feedback until you've read all 3. That said I would enjoy constructive criticism.


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Cerubois

Senior Member

05-01-2013

A good introduction.

I don't think you need to tell us straight out that Vayne is gay in your author's notes. Show us her feelings and thoughts, and we can come to that conclusion ourselves! :P

If you wish for some constructive criticism, I will follow your directive and wait for chapter 3 first. (though I will suggest a thorough edit to catch some of the small grammar errors in this one)


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ElderCheese

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Member

05-02-2013

an interesting start I haven't seen many Vayne stories around so you have my interest


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Perdicus

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Senior Member

05-02-2013

Part 2: Post hoc, ergo propter hoc
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Vayne lay once again in her bed, brooding,
‘What is happening to you” she thought,

“You’re losing it Vayne”

“You’re following lux around, and why?”

“Lux isn’t Alice, besides the thing with Alice was wrong, you didn’t know what you were doing, you were so innocent, and you payed for it.”

Still, her mind kept replaying that happy moment on that bench so long ago…

Is this true? Is what Master Braceman tells me true?

Patrick Braceman, a somewhat spotty youth of 16, with the greedy expression of one who is about to be rewarded, stood against the wall of the Vayne family kitchen, smirking. The person who was doing all of the shouting was Vayne’s father, standing there with his face quite red, glaring at his daughter and her friend.

“WELL? IS THIS TRUE”

“No, father, we were… Vayne answered, quivering”

Alice, who had been silent until this point spoke up “Yes” she said quietly

"Very well, Alice, go home, thank you for your honesty, I’ll be speaking with your father. You should leave too Patrick."
Alice turned to leave, not making eye contact with Vayne. Vayne’s father turned back to his daughter,
“I don’t want you to have anything to do with Alice from now on”

“But…”

“No buts, now go to your room, this is inappropriate, we’ll discuss this later.”

She stomped off to her room, fuming, mad at stupid Pat Braceman, mad at Alice, Mad at her father, mad at herself. She walked in to her room, slammed the door behind her, and crawled over to the duct in the corner; where she could hear everything being said in the kitchen below her.

“What’s wrong with being different” that was her mother

“She isn’t different, this is just some stupid experimentation”’ her father answered

“I don’t think so; I honestly think this might be who she is”
“No it’s not, it can’t be”

“And what if she is, you know you have to accept her choices”

“No, I am not letting her grow up to be a GOD-DAMN *****!”

Vayne, with tears streaming down her cheeks, threw a pillow at the duct, it made contact with a futile thud, still sobbing, she crawled under the bed. They were still arguing downstairs, both their voices raised now, but she tried her hardest not to listen.
AIYEEEEEEEEE!

Suddenly a shrill scream was heard over the argumenent below.

Vayne, snapped back, she didn’t need a flashback to remember the rest of that evening, the hag had tortured her parents and she was helpless to stop it. That was the night she became the Night hunter, that was the night that she changed.

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Authors notes:

"Post hoc, ergo propter hoc" is Latin for "after this, therefore because of this" and is a logical fallacy, one that vayne is stuck in at this point in the story. (more on that in part 3)


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Perdicus

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Senior Member

05-05-2013

Part Three: Six bullets

It is a dark night, a young Vayne is running away from her house, the house is dark, some of its windows smashed, inside Mr. & Mrs. Vayne lay dead on the kitchen floor. Not thinking at all, her feet simply carrying her away, she has nothing except for the clothes on her back and a pistol she had taken from one of her father’s dead bodyguards.
She had no idea where she was going, or what she was going to do, she just had to get away, far away. She ran straight for several blocks before she had to stop, leaning against the wall in a narrow alley, it occurred to her to check the pistol; six bullets were still loaded in the gun.

She sat there, breathing heavily, heart beating a mile a minute, for some time, eventually she gathered the strength to get up and keep moving. She had just got to her feet when someone came in to the alley,

“Shauna, what the **** are you doing here?” it was Pat Braceman. Looking at her expression, he said: “ah, I understand, I can help you”

“Y-Y-You can?”

“Sure, I know where you can hide for now, and then we’ll work out what to do next”

How does he know? Vayne thought

“Come on, follow me”

Vayne got up and followed him through the maze of alleyways, something wasn’t right here, an alarm bell was going off somewhere in her mind, still she followed him onward. Eventually he came to a stop in a dead end. Something is wrong! Something is wrong!!! Her brain was screaming at her get out of that alley now, but Pat Braceman had already gone to block her path, he grabbed her and forced her against a wall.

An uncharacteristic rage swelled up inside Vayne, she thought of the hag that had murdered her parents, of this idiot boy who had made her life miserable, of the way she had just hid rather than fighting back. Finding a strength she didn't know she had, she shoved him off of her.

“LET ME GO” she shouted pulling the gun out and pointing at him.

“What! Where’d you get that! Ahg! What are you doing!” there was now a very real panic in his voice.

“Listen, I’m sorry! It was all a misunderstanding! Alright! Just go away!!!”

“NO” she shouted, and she pulled the trigger, six times, six gunshots rang through the alley, six bullets hit a shocked Pat Braceman. Blood exploded everywhere, and Pat Braceman fell over dead.


“Vayne, Vayne! Are you alright?” Vayne opened her eyes to find Leona leaning over her.

“Leona, why are you here?”

“You were thrashing about, and your door was open, which is unusual”

“It’s just a nightmare”

“What’s troubling you Vayne”

“Nothing, just some bad dreams”

Leona looked at her and rolled her eyes “Vayne, you aren’t fooling anyone, what’s
troubling you”

Vayne looked down, trying to think of a way to not answer Leona’s question.

“Still the brooding stranger I see, well if you don’t want to talk to me that’s fine, but don’t keep everything you feel bottled inside you Vayne, feeling things other than hate doesn’t make you weak.”

Leona turned to leave, but at the door she looked back and said “You don’t understand what you’re feeling do you?”

“no” Vayne admitted meekly

“You feel like your heart and your mind are fighting, don’t you?”

Vayne didn’t reply, but Leona seemed to guess the answer from her expression

“Follow your heart, live a real life for once Vayne, follow your heart.”

And with that she left, leaving Vayne alone in her room again, but for the first time in her adult life, she didn’t want to be alone.
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Author's note(s)

Part three is complete, unleash thine vicious feedbacks. :P

The first three parts were establishing vayne as a character (and bending her slightly so that the story works)

The next section of the story is a huge exercise in character development.

On a side note, who do YOU think is a good partner for vayne (I've already made my decision, but i'm curious what other people think)


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Celéry

Junior Member

06-04-2013

I'm enjoying what you're doing with this and would love to see more. There's so few quality Vayne fanfictions...


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Perdicus

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Senior Member

06-04-2013

It's in total rewrite mode, new first chapter coming soon (Pretend this is not here)