Player Behavior: Emotion Bad Habits

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Rueian

This user has referred a friend to League of Legends, click for more information

Senior Member

03-14-2013

Prior to entering competitive games (Any PvP game), I felt that I was a fairly decent person. After being introduced to fighting games (Smash, Streetfighter, Guilty Gear, etc.) I began to notice a terrible angry habit that even to this day I still feel out of control of, and when playing league I feel it fuels alot of my own toxic behavior.

I am far from a 'standard player' I've been punished by the tribunal at least 5-6 times. I've been at this identification stage for a long time. I recognize the issue, but for years and years i just cant seem to find a way to bring it under control. Simple frustration over mistakes or what I perceive as poor teamwork, becomes searing rage at he fact that so many mistakes will become a loss and my influence on the game slips away. This can either be by others actions or even my own. And when this is triggered i know in hindsight my chances of winning lessen and it gets me reported for how aggressively and sometimes blindly try to order my team. Often times these commands aren't even commands and just flat out become verbal abuse or negative attitude.

I've been given a lot of advice on how to deal with the problem but the dreadful truth has become that this attitude has become so habitual that i'm to the point where simply 'changing my attitude' or 'taking a break' or many of the general advice that is given to me just simply doesn't work. I in no way want to stay this way and i want to enjoy the game and hopefully find more friendly and positive matches that don't derail into a yelling contest till someone either surrenders or one of the nexus blow.

I really didn't want to air out any dirty laundry on the forums so i'm not giving my most recent reform card. I know what i'm doing wrong I dont need people yelling at me... I'm generally a very calm and collected person, but something about this game and its community (realize i started back when toxic players were pretty much widely accepted only because you couldn't do anything about them... the typical MOBA community played) had infected me emotionally, and over the years of playing (started in Beta) have become that which I despise.

I suppose I am looking for some kind of advice in breaking such stubborn habits, do realize I am not ignoring your help or belittling any of it. I've just heard a lot of it before and trust me I've kept trying a lot of it.

Thank you to those who read this...


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AotW King

Senior Member

03-14-2013

First. Good.

Second, to what point do you want to change?

I've never been warned or anything by the tribunal but I'm sure that previously, years ago and in HoN and DotA I was a meaner person. I never raged as hard as the really bad ragers but I'm sure I at minimum, ruined a handful of peoples days.

So what do you want more? It isn't hard to change yourself if you want it.

So pretty much there are a few ways to help yourself.

First add me in game, AotW King.

I'll do what I can to help you.


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AotW King

Senior Member

03-14-2013

In the end I wait over an hour for a response or for you to accept my friend invite.

I guess this is what I mean about how much you want something.

Maybe you started a game and its still going maybe you went to bed, I reading this just before going to bed decided to wait for you but I'm tired of refreshing the page, maybe we can talk tomorrow.

But if you don't make an effort your just wasting the time of the people your asking for help.


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Brother

Member

03-15-2013

Are you stressed about things in real life? These can carry over to your gaming experience.
A good solution to your problem is doing what you just did here. Venting how you feel. Letting the stress out.
Also if you find yourself getting mad don't feel like a piece of crud for being mad. But forgive yourself and try to work on fixing it more. An remember it is only a video game, and you are getting mad about people not murdering other people very well. Imagine if you got mad about people not being good murderers in real life.


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Devious Rogue

Senior Member

03-15-2013

Don't play LoL unless you are calm. Practice makes perfect. Vent somewhere else instead. Go bash something on the internet that's not LoL. Anything. Just don't get mad in game.


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AceofDeath805

Member

03-15-2013

I know for a fact I've had my fair share of raging and am in no way a model player but its just all about outlook, before you rage at some just think "is this really constructive what I'm saying?". The way you type something can either uplift or effectively turn someone into a troll for your team. Also being the bigger person and just ignoring/mute the person helps me focus better if reason doesn't seem to work

https://www.youtube.com/user/gbay99
^^^^
Also this guy has great videos for becoming a better league player and a better human being to be honest.


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Rueian

This user has referred a friend to League of Legends, click for more information

Senior Member

03-15-2013

(i'm sorry people, i had to head to bed after posting thank you for the responces i'm going to work to reply to them now)
_____________________________

Quote:
Originally Posted by AotW King View Post
In the end I wait over an hour for a response or for you to accept my friend invite.

I guess this is what I mean about how much you want something.

Maybe you started a game and its still going maybe you went to bed, I reading this just before going to bed decided to wait for you but I'm tired of refreshing the page, maybe we can talk tomorrow.

But if you don't make an effort your just wasting the time of the people your asking for help.
Ya i'm very sorry about that, i was posting this as I was heading to bed. I added you. Thank you for the effort to help a complete stranger.
________________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bossed View Post
Are you stressed about things in real life? These can carry over to your gaming experience.
A good solution to your problem is doing what you just did here. Venting how you feel. Letting the stress out.
Also if you find yourself getting mad don't feel like a piece of crud for being mad. But forgive yourself and try to work on fixing it more. An remember it is only a video game, and you are getting mad about people not murdering other people very well. Imagine if you got mad about people not being good murderers in real life.
Ya, i've been pretty stressed in real life. Been difficult to find a job recently and my schooling hasn't really been going anywhere. Just recently got rejected to transfer to a UC.

It really comes down to both that I feel terrible that i cant control it well and that with all these punishments the way that i feel riot looks at people like me, is bunching me up with people who intentionally ruin other peoples days and deems us irredeemable players.
___________________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by AceofDeath805 View Post
I know for a fact I've had my fair share of raging and am in no way a model player but its just all about outlook, before you rage at some just think "is this really constructive what I'm saying?". The way you type something can either uplift or effectively turn someone into a troll for your team. Also being the bigger person and just ignoring/mute the person helps me focus better if reason doesn't seem to work

https://www.youtube.com/user/gbay99
^^^^
Also this guy has great videos for becoming a better league player and a better human being to be honest.
In hindsight i understand that i'm doing wrong but during the game and in the heat of battle, I just lose it. In some case I've literally became so delusional (in rage) that how I think I'm saying things is constructive is in fact just flat out verbal abuse and at the end of those games I end up feeling victimized when I'm the one entirely in the wrong. I lose myself in the game.

Ya I've seen a few of his videos already. I've really been trying to apply what he says. Taking breaks has really been coming down to stubbornness while angry. If any of you play fighting games, I always want my 'salty runback' As for other things he says, I try them but I feel like my approach is just wrong somewhere since I haven't had any real change.


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KittyPrawn

Senior Member

03-15-2013

I used to be like you when I played World of Warcraft. I belittled people constantly because they were doing something that I deemed idiotic. It took me a few years to just realize that in those instances, I'm not changing anything for those people. When I berate and bully another, it wasn't going to change the outcome. I was getting myself worked up and stressed out over nothing. Also, I was making myself to look idiotic.

There isn't much advice to give behind trying to figure out how to relax in the game. For me, it was just realizing that all my anger and stress from judging other players wasn't healthy for me... and it wasn't changing the outcome, especially in situations where there was a low chance that I would ever see that specific person again.

Maybe for you it would be useful to find a group of friends to play with. Most people won't completely rage at their friends because they don't want to ruin that bond. Play games with consistent people and just start getting yourself into the mindset of having fun and maybe laughing at silly mistakes or learning to present advice constructively.


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Rueian

This user has referred a friend to League of Legends, click for more information

Senior Member

03-15-2013

Quote:
Originally Posted by KittyPrawn View Post
I used to be like you when I played World of Warcraft. I belittled people constantly because they were doing something that I deemed idiotic. It took me a few years to just realize that in those instances, I'm not changing anything for those people. When I berate and bully another, it wasn't going to change the outcome. I was getting myself worked up and stressed out over nothing. Also, I was making myself to look idiotic.

There isn't much advice to give behind trying to figure out how to relax in the game. For me, it was just realizing that all my anger and stress from judging other players wasn't healthy for me... and it wasn't changing the outcome, especially in situations where there was a low chance that I would ever see that specific person again.

Maybe for you it would be useful to find a group of friends to play with. Most people won't completely rage at their friends because they don't want to ruin that bond. Play games with consistent people and just start getting yourself into the mindset of having fun and maybe laughing at silly mistakes or learning to present advice constructively.
When I am calm, i tend to command my team or try to. It comes to the point when i start feeling like there really isn't much team cohesion I just flip out and though I am in a poor way trying to promote team cohesion I at the same time make my team never want to listen to me. My expectations in most games (normal, custom, ranked) is that people should know what they are doing and understand the game is a team environment. I realize my behavior is hypocritical of my wants from my team when I become angry or depressed, which is why after each threatened report, suspension, and even when I just read these forums, I feel like I'm complete trash


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KittyPrawn

Senior Member

03-15-2013

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rueian View Post
When I am calm, i tend to command my team or try to. It comes to the point when i start feeling like there really isn't much team cohesion I just flip out and though I am in a poor way trying to promote team cohesion I at the same time make my team never want to listen to me. My expectations in most games (normal, custom, ranked) is that people should know what they are doing and understand the game is a team environment. I realize my behavior is hypocritical of my wants from my team when I become angry or depressed, which is why after each threatened report, suspension, and even when I just read these forums, I feel like I'm complete trash
There are a lot of times that I type something out, and I just don't hit enter. No one is a saint. I get angry still. But, before I let my message go, I ask myself if it is necessary or will change anything. I know this is a lot, especially in the heat of an angry moment.

The thing to understand is that some people just want to do things their way, team game or not.

When I played World of Warcraft, I was a healer. I healed for 7 years of playing that game, and was fairly confident in what I did. There were some guild members of mine that healed and, in my opinion, were abyssmal. I took hours to delve into a healing class that I wasn't even familiar with to help them learn ways to improve. At the end of the day, they listened to none of it. At no time was I attacking or belittling them. In the end, they liked how they played and it didn't matter what the best way to do things were.

On my really bad days, I just look like a psychopath at my own home, but I just got into the habit of not typing my terrible attitude.


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