Mel'rrak, the Hunger of the Void

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Brimex

Member

6 Days Ago

[EDIT]-1. Changed Fury bar to Hunger, in order to clarify purpose. And added lore!!!
[EDIT]-2. I made his voice!! Not all the quotes, but it's there in the quotes section.
[EDIT]-3. Finally added artwork for him! (My own drawing, so it's gonna suck. )

--------------------------

Mel'rrak is a Void champion who is dedicated completely to eating his enemies to sate his infinite appetite. Unlike all the other Void champs (not counting Cho'gath), Mel'rrak actually has moves that involve eating.
His body is mostly one short head that extends to an equally short tail behind him. His only appendages are two large and powerful legs that support him. What is unique about him is that while eating, he can extend his throat and stomach to incredulous sizes in order to swallow even the larges of prey. As is probably assumed by now, his basic attacks involve him biting the enemy.

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Mel'rrak, as described by [NAME WITHHELD].

Side Notes:

Name: Unknown

Origin: Void

Affiliations: Void

Notable Abilities: Agile, hyper-fast metabolism, able to expand and contract stomach to swallow large objects whole.

Weaknesses: Unknown

Description: Body composed mostly of stomach and mouth. Jaw capable of detachment to allow passage of large objects. 12 serrated teeth. 3 tongues, capable of detecting scent. Two large legs support body weight and provide surprising mobility. Short, prehensile tail serves possibly as counterweight. Thick, exoskeletal plates cover most of body. Eyes capable of near 360 degree visibility. Sensitive to harsh light.

Speech Capability: Possible

Institute Judgement: Pending

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And without further ceremony, his moveset!

Passive: Ravenous: Mel'rrak's resource bar is replaced by Hunger. His Hunger is sated the more blood he sheds, granting him increased bonus health regeneration the lower his Hunger bar is. At 0 Hunger, Mel'rrak gains significant bonus movement speed. Mel'rrak passively gains 5 Hunger per second when out of combat, and loses Hunger when he attacks. (5 Hunger lost when damaging an enemy with an ability, 2 Hunger per basic attack.)

Q: Serrated Teeth: Mel'rrak empowers his next basic attack to deal bonus physical damage and cause the enemy to bleed for a short time. Mel'rrak heals himself for the amount of health the enemy bleeds for.

W: Starvation: Mel'rrak's carapace locks together more tightly the more and more wounded he becomes, increasing his armor the less health he has.

E: Trample: Mel'rrak prepares to charge, and after a 0.75 second delay, rushes forward in a straight line. Trample damages and slows all non-friendly units in Mel'rrak's path.

R: Devour: Mel'rrak opens his massive jaws and swallows an enemy champion whole, suppressing them and rendering them untargetable. Mel'rrak is unable to move at this time, but after 2 seconds, he will regurgitate his prey in a straight line for a short distance (direction determined by cursor position), and heals himself for a percentage of the damage dealt. If Mel'rrak kills an enemy champion with Devour, he will heal himself for the total damage dealt, and will be able to move after only 1 second.
(For this ability, I envisioned the animation would involve him swallowing the champion, and then since he became so large to actually do it, he is then too fat to move or attack. Then when the time comes, he either spits out the champ or digests them, and returns to normal size.)

-----------------------

Quotes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4EL...ature=youtu.be

Champion select: Feast... Or famine!

Movement: I march.
Leave nothing behind!
Let misery follow.
Blood in the air.
I smell meat!
Hunger is my guide.


Attacking: Scatter the weak.
Just one bite!
Hunger!


Joke: I'm famished. I haven't eaten in... Minutes!
Bite me! Or better yet, let me bite you!


Taunt: I take my meat raw... and still screaming!

Taunting enemy Yordle: Yordles? You mean appetizers!

Taunting enemy Cho'gath: My, Cho'gath. You're getting thin!

Taunting enemy Hecarim: I'm so hungry, I could eat a... Horse...

--------------------------

LORE!!

<The following conversation has been recorded following the incident. Names have been withheld.>

Summoner "Please describe the events that occurred, after he appeared."
Man "He?"
Summoner "The voidborn... He."
Man "It happened so quickly. There wasn't any time to react. One second I was counting the coin the shop had made that day, and the next, the whole front wall was gone... lost in the monster's gut."
Summoner "His gut."
Man "Yeah... his gut..."
Summoner "At that point, he was, effectively, on top of you. How did you manage to escape?"
Man "I'm not sure if it even saw me. A moment later, the town guard appeared, and they fired volley after volley of arrows into the thing's back. Most of the arrows bounced right off of it, but the ones that went in between the armor... you can be sure it felt those. It's scream was... unnatural. You could feel the monster's anger, feel the Other Side in it's voice."
Summoner "Please, Mr. [REDACTED], refer to the voidborn as a 'he'."
Man "Why?"
Summmoner "Here at the Institute, we rely heavily on facts. We prefer that the subject be referred to properly, for facts' sake."
Man "... I don't like it... but fine."
Summoner "Continue."
Man "Hmph. Not much more to tell. The arrows did nothing. Those wounds healed the moment he started eating again. Took out most of the guard in one bite, armor and all. The arrows fell from him as the wounds closed. I didn't stay long after that. Took my chance and ran here. Don't know what happened to him."
Summoner "Thank you, Mr. [REDACTED], for your account. Upon visiting your town, we found it completely destroyed. But you'll be pleased to know we found and detained the voidborn, and have him awaiting further judgement."
Man "Good... I want to be there when you kill it."
Summoner "Pardon me?"
Man "I want to see that thing killed. That's what you're doing with it, right?"
Summoner "Here at the Institute, we believe he will prove more useful if he were kept alive, but don't worry, he will be kept under secure custody."
Man "No... Don't tell me you're letting that... thing... into your League?!"
Summoner "That awaits to be seen."
Man "That monster killed everyone I knew! My home is in it's stomach!"
Summoner "His stomach, Mr. [REDACTED]."
Man "I don't give a damn! You can't do this! First, the creature that destroyed the trading caravan, then the one that killed two of your own guards. Can't you see that these things don't care about your Institute? They won't stop until we're all dead!"
Summoner "This conversation is over."
Man "Don't you dare!"

<End.>

-------------------------

With this kit, I'd see Mel'rrak played mainly as a top lane tank, who becomes nearly unkillable the longer he stays in combat. I designed it when I thought of how unfair it was that Dr. Mundo had free movement speed and insane health regen whenever he wanted. This way, you'd have to stay in combat soaking up damage for as long as possible to be as useful as you can be, which is the role of a tank, after all. His counters would be burst damage mages like Vel'koz and Fizz, who could cancel him out before he could make use of his Passive and W. DPS marksmen like Ashe and Tristana would have a much harder time taking Mel'rrak out, seeing as DPS would give him enough time to make full use of his kit.

Hope you guys like this one! I only came up with the idea a couple days ago, so any criticism you have would be greatly appreciated! I'm currently working on drawing him and creating his voice, but if you guys have any suggestions as to how any of those two should go, feel free to let me know!


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dustwind8

Senior Member

5 Days Ago

Quote:
Originally Posted by Brimex View Post
[EDIT]-1. Changed Fury bar to Hunger, in order to clarify purpose. And added lore!!!
[EDIT]-2. I made his voice!! Not all the quotes, but it's there in the quotes section.

--------------------------

Mel'rrak is a Void champion who is dedicated completely to eating his enemies to sate his infinite appetite. Unlike all the other Void champs (not counting Cho'gath), Mel'rrak actually has moves that involve eating.
His body is mostly one short head that extends to an equally short tail behind him. His only appendages are two large and powerful legs that support him. What is unique about him is that while eating, he can extend his throat and stomach to incredulous sizes in order to swallow even the larges of prey. As is probably assumed by now, his basic attacks involve him biting the enemy.

And without further ceremony, his moveset!

Passive: Ravenous: Mel'rrak's resource bar is replaced by Hunger. His Hunger is sated the more blood he sheds, granting him increased bonus health regeneration the lower his Hunger bar is. At 0 Hunger, Mel'rrak gains significant bonus movement speed. Mel'rrak passively gains 5 Hunger per second when out of combat, and loses Hunger when he attacks. (5 Hunger lost when damaging an enemy with an ability, 2 Hunger per basic attack.)

Q: Serrated Teeth: Mel'rrak empowers his next basic attack to deal bonus physical damage and cause the enemy to bleed for a short time. Mel'rrak heals himself for the amount of health the enemy bleeds for.

W: Starvation: Mel'rrak's carapace locks together more tightly the more and more wounded he becomes, increasing his armor the less health he has.

E: Trample: Mel'rrak prepares to charge, and after a 0.75 second delay, rushes forward in a straight line. Trample damages and slows all non-friendly units in Mel'rrak's path.

R: Devour: Mel'rrak opens his massive jaws and swallows an enemy champion whole, suppressing them and rendering them untargetable. Mel'rrak is unable to move at this time, but after 2 seconds, he will regurgitate his prey in a straight line for a short distance (direction determined by cursor position), and heals himself for a percentage of the damage dealt. If Mel'rrak kills an enemy champion with Devour, he will heal himself for the total damage dealt, and will be able to move after only 1 second.
(For this ability, I envisioned the animation would involve him swallowing the champion, and then since he became so large to actually do it, he is then too fat to move or attack. Then when the time comes, he either spits out the champ or digests them, and returns to normal size.)

-----------------------

Quotes:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q4EL...ature=youtu.be

Champion select: Feast... Or famine!

Movement: I march.
Leave nothing behind!
Let misery follow.
Blood in the air.
I smell meat!
Hunger is my guide.


Attacking: Scatter the weak.
Just one bite!
Hunger!


Joke: I'm famished. I haven't eaten in... Minutes!
Bite me! Or better yet, let me bite you!


Taunt: I take my meat raw... and still screaming!

Taunting enemy Yordle: Yordles? You mean appetizers!

Taunting enemy Cho'gath: My, Cho'gath. You're getting thin!

Taunting enemy Hecarim: I'm so hungry, I could eat a... Horse...

--------------------------

LORE!!

<The following conversation has been recorded following the incident. Names have been withheld.>

Summoner "Please describe the events that occurred, after he appeared."
Man "He?"
Summoner "The voidborn... He."
Man "It happened so quickly. There wasn't any time to react. One second I was counting the coin the shop had made that day, and the next, the whole front wall was gone... lost in the monster's gut."
Summoner "His gut."
Man "Yeah... his gut..."
Summoner "At that point, he was, effectively, on top of you. How did you manage to escape?"
Man "I'm not sure if it even saw me. A moment later, the town guard appeared, and they fired volley after volley of arrows into the thing's back. Most of the arrows bounced right off of it, but the ones that went in between the armor... you can be sure it felt those. It's scream was... unnatural. You could feel the monster's anger, feel the Other Side in it's voice."
Summoner "Please, Mr. [REDACTED], refer to the voidborn as a 'he'."
Man "Why?"
Summmoner "Here at the Institute, we rely heavily on facts. We prefer that the subject be referred to properly, for facts' sake."
Man "... I don't like it... but fine."
Summoner "Continue."
Man "Hmph. Not much more to tell. The arrows did nothing. Those wounds healed the moment he started eating again. Took out most of the guard in one bite, armor and all. The arrows fell from him as the wounds closed. I didn't stay long after that. Took my chance and ran here. Don't know what happened to him."
Summoner "Thank you, Mr. [REDACTED], for your account. Upon visiting your town, we found it completely destroyed. But you'll be pleased to know we found and detained the voidborn, and have him awaiting further judgement."
Man "Good... I want to be there when you kill it."
Summoner "Pardon me?"
Man "I want to see that thing killed. That's what you're doing with it, right?"
Summoner "Here at the Institute, we believe he will prove more useful if he were kept alive, but don't worry, he will be kept under secure custody."
Man "No... Don't tell me you're letting that... thing... into your League?!"
Summoner "That awaits to be seen."
Man "That monster killed everyone I knew! My home is in it's stomach!"
Summoner "His stomach, Mr. [REDACTED]."
Man "I don't give a damn! You can't do this! First, the creature that destroyed the trading caravan, then the one that killed two of your own guards. Can't you see that these things don't care about your Institute? They won't stop until we're all dead!"
Summoner "This conversation is over."
Man "Don't you dare!"

<End.>

-------------------------

With this kit, I'd see Mel'rrak played mainly as a top lane tank, who becomes nearly unkillable the longer he stays in combat. I designed it when I thought of how unfair it was that Dr. Mundo had free movement speed and insane health regen whenever he wanted. This way, you'd have to stay in combat soaking up damage for as long as possible to be as useful as you can be, which is the role of a tank, after all. His counters would be burst damage mages like Vel'koz and Fizz, who could cancel him out before he could make use of his Passive and W. DPS marksmen like Ashe and Tristana would have a much harder time taking Mel'rrak out, seeing as DPS would give him enough time to make full use of his kit.

Hope you guys like this one! I only came up with the idea a couple days ago, so any criticism you have would be greatly appreciated! I'm currently working on drawing him and creating his voice, but if you guys have any suggestions as to how any of those two should go, feel free to let me know!
We already have a void champion with an unsustainable appetite, Kog'Maw. Plus your description is basically snake like.

Passive : I dont like champions that make a whole new resource. It usually just will add more complicated and time consuming code and programing that is worth the time spent. Plus your concept is slightly confusing... I understand he gets hungry over time but it doesn't fit in with hunger. If you are extremely hungry you don't move faster, you move slower, you body functions work slower. plus giving him bonus movement speed for hitting 0 hunger means that a champion wont be able to ever outrun you if your hunger is low enough.

Q sounds like a decent ability, but you have no detail here, nothing to say how much damage is done. With a straight 1:1 ration as you have written you have to keep that in mind that basically for every one health damage you are causing a 2 health gap. Consider adding a if Mel is still alive after the bleed is over,m that's when he heals himself.

W this ability doesn't really make much sense with the character. If he is always hungry what does that have to do with his defense? plus you are lacking any numbers so it makes it really hard to judge.

E so, does this ability go in the direction you are facing? plus this has the same problems as your other abilities... no stats are posted which makes it hard to judge...

R this ult seems really... bad to me... Mel' takes an opponent out of the fight... then he roots himself in an area... exposing himself to attacks and unable to fight back... Spits his target away from him, kinda counter productive. Somehow heals himself in doing so. ALSO no numbers... no details...


Final thought... This champion is not yet complete and i don't really see how the kit would fit in with his theme, nor how the abilities compliment each other or help out the team. He needs a rework, Keep in mind what role you want him to fill and how best he can fill it... The Theme you want to go with is done, twice over. Cho'gath already has an ultimate that consumes a target, and heals himself. your Q seems more of a fit for an ADC or bruiser then a tank.


Side note. You designed this around mundo and how you felt it was unfair for him to have a movement speed and increased healing. It isn't unfair.. its like that to try and balance his kit out. He uses health to attack so he needs a way to gain it back. He was designed to be a Tanky champion whose gimmick is health. everything about him uses health or increases healing rate. It isn't that much of an unfair passive as you have an item which decreases healing rates on enemy champions you've hit with an ability, and some champions have that in their kits as well.


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Brimex

Member

5 Days Ago

Quote:
Originally Posted by dustwind8 View Post
We already have a void champion with an unsustainable appetite, Kog'Maw. Plus your description is basically snake like.

Passive : I dont like champions that make a whole new resource. It usually just will add more complicated and time consuming code and programing that is worth the time spent. Plus your concept is slightly confusing... I understand he gets hungry over time but it doesn't fit in with hunger. If you are extremely hungry you don't move faster, you move slower, you body functions work slower. plus giving him bonus movement speed for hitting 0 hunger means that a champion wont be able to ever outrun you if your hunger is low enough.

Q sounds like a decent ability, but you have no detail here, nothing to say how much damage is done. With a straight 1:1 ration as you have written you have to keep that in mind that basically for every one health damage you are causing a 2 health gap. Consider adding a if Mel is still alive after the bleed is over,m that's when he heals himself.

W this ability doesn't really make much sense with the character. If he is always hungry what does that have to do with his defense? plus you are lacking any numbers so it makes it really hard to judge.

E so, does this ability go in the direction you are facing? plus this has the same problems as your other abilities... no stats are posted which makes it hard to judge...

R this ult seems really... bad to me... Mel' takes an opponent out of the fight... then he roots himself in an area... exposing himself to attacks and unable to fight back... Spits his target away from him, kinda counter productive. Somehow heals himself in doing so. ALSO no numbers... no details...


Final thought... This champion is not yet complete and i don't really see how the kit would fit in with his theme, nor how the abilities compliment each other or help out the team. He needs a rework, Keep in mind what role you want him to fill and how best he can fill it... The Theme you want to go with is done, twice over. Cho'gath already has an ultimate that consumes a target, and heals himself. your Q seems more of a fit for an ADC or bruiser then a tank.


Side note. You designed this around mundo and how you felt it was unfair for him to have a movement speed and increased healing. It isn't unfair.. its like that to try and balance his kit out. He uses health to attack so he needs a way to gain it back. He was designed to be a Tanky champion whose gimmick is health. everything about him uses health or increases healing rate. It isn't that much of an unfair passive as you have an item which decreases healing rates on enemy champions you've hit with an ability, and some champions have that in their kits as well.
Sorry about not having the numbers in the kit, I'm not very good with them, but I will look into adding them.
I made him a champion whose kit revolves around his hunger, because out of all the Void champs in the game, there is only 1 ability among them that involves actually eating.

As for his Hunger, he is most hungry when the Hunger bar is full, meaning the longer he spends eating (in combat), the more energized and healthy he becomes.

His Q, will be a set amount of bleed damage per rank, and Mel will heal each second per amount of damage the enemy bleeds per second.

His W, is a way for him to benefit from being in combat for a long period of time. If he spends a lot of time in combat, his health regen and his armor is increased. Thematically-wise, when Mel is starving, his exoskeleton doesn't have to separate in order to allow his body to expand.

His E, I plan to be him channeling for the 0.75 second, and then charge a certain distance in the direction cast. Thematically, it supports the idea that he is a stomach with legs, showing off the strength his legs have. Out of his other damaging abilities, I'd say this would do the least amount of damage, and would be used mainly as utility and as a gap closer.

His R fits his theme and role well, I think. A tank is usually meant to soak up enemy damage, and disrupt the enemy team. An ability that suppresses and repositions an enemy works amazingly to that extent. In order to counter the incredible amount of crowd control, I made it so that he would root himself. But being vulnerable for that long requires some sort of safety net, which is why I added a heal.

As for how all the abilities compliment each other and fit his theme. His kit involves him eating and terrorizing the enemy, which is exactly what I wanted him to do.
Compliment-wise, Imagine all the abilities used together:
1. Mel uses Trample to engage his opponent.
2. Serrated Teeth provides his main source of damage, and a small over-time heal, which he will use throughout his fight.
3. If the enemy manages to get his health low, Starvation increases Mel's armor, increasing his chances of survival.
4. If Mel is in a fight long enough, he can capitalize on Ravenous' bonus health regeneration, making him harder to kill for Champions who depend on damage per second. (i.e. Teemo, Tristana, and Mundo.)
5. In a clutch situation, Mel might need to save himself from an enemy channeled attack, heal himself, or give your Jungler a chance to gank. In such a situation, Devour will provide all of those in one powerful move.

If you have any more questions, feel free to ask. I'll look into adding the stats and numbers in the future. Thanks for the review!