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"Jarvan, we need to talk about Quinn..."

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IMTOOJUICY

Senior Member

02-27-2013

624796Oh hey, Shyvana... wait, you want to talk about Quinn? What about her?
624801I don't think you should talk to Quinn anymore.
624796Huh? Why?
624801Frankly, I think she's crazy.
624796Crazy?? What makes you say that??
624801Well, for starters, she writes letters to her dead brother. And even worse, she pretends to carry on these inane conversations with her big dumb bird! How cuckoo is that??
624798AHEM! EXCUSE ME! Hi there, Jarvan! <3 How are you today?
624796Oh hello there, Quinn! I am doing well, and how are you?
624798I am having a good day now that I've run into you, my dear prince! *nods curtly to Shyvana* Shyvana.
624801Grrr...
624798Sorry to interrupt you two, but Valor here told me that he heard SOMEONE just now spreading misinformation about us!
624806Squawk! Squawk!
624801Valor told you? Yeah right, you freaking eavesdropper! As if that bird says anything to you other than “Give me food! Give me food! Give me food!”
624798How dare you question my relationship with Valor?? Are you calling me a liar??
624801Nope, I'm calling you crazy. By the way, does your dead brother also talk to you from his grave?
624798Don't you dare bring Caleb into this! And you're one to talk about crazy! You may be half dragon, but you are ALL crazy. Jarvan, I don't think you should talk to Shyvana anymore!
624796Huh? Why?
624798During one of his missions, Valor's head cam happened to capture an image of Shyvana through her bedroom window and... well... see this disturbing photo for yourself!
624821
624801*face turns red* That... that... that's not me!
624798What! It is so you!
624801You can't prove it, you bird brain! You can't see my face, can you?? You've mistaken me for some other female half-dragon out there who is obsessed with Jarvan!
624796*nods in deep thought* I agree, Shyvana. What you suggest is clearly the most likely scenario.
624798What!
624796And with this half dragon so obsessed with me, it seems that I should watch my step for the indefinite future!
624798*grumbles* Well, if this alleged half-dragon is anything like Shyvana, you have nothing to fear, my prince. Her ganks will be laughable at best.
624801HEY! My ganks aren't that bad!
624798O rly?
624801Well, I mean... if I have my exhaust up... my ganks can be okay... sort of...
624798That would explain why you're Tier Four on Reign of Gaming's jungle tier list!
624807It's... it's just a stupid tier list! It means nothing!
624798Perhaps, but there's also the fact that Saintvicious no longer jungles with you! Face it, Shyvana! You're useless now! As a matter of fact, you might even be more useless than Ashe!
624789Leave me out of this...
624807... I.. I... I have to go now... *sniffles*... brb, while I slip into something more comfortable...
624796 624798What? Comfortable?
624800Ok, I'm back.
624796Shyvana, you've... you've changed skins! But why?
624800Well, Jarvan... I thought that... you know... maybe you would... like it...
624796Haha, Shyvana, you know me so well! I have to admit, redheads do tend to catch my eye!
624816What! Redheads?? Hey now, Katarina is mine, I saw her first!
624796Garen? What are you talking about?
624816I, uh... haha... you said something about redheads?
624796I was complimenting Shyvana on her Ironscale skin. I was not talking about Katarina, that dastardly nemesis of Demacia!
624816Oh. Yes, that's right. Katarina is the enemy. I keep forgetting!
624796Now, if you'll excuse us, Garen. I wish to be in the company of attractive young ladies and you do not qualify as one.
624816I apologize for not being an attractive lady, your highness! Forgive me for my intrustion! *rushes off into a bush*
624796Now, where were we?
624800You were busy telling me how nice I looked.
624798Yes, you look very nice... for a half-breed monster!
624796Please, ladies, there is no need for such juvenile insults!
624798Sorry, sorry, my temper got the best of me there... I agree, we are all adults here. No need for childish antics, yes?
624800Quinn has tiny boobs.
624798I do not!! I mean, they're not Sona-level or anything, but...
624796*peers at Quinn's armored chest* Hmmm...
624798Jarvan, please stop! You're making me blush! *glares at Shyvana* And you're one to talk! Your chest is nothing to write home about either!
624804O rly?
624796Shyvana, why did you change skins again??
624802Oh, I don't know...
624796Well, hello there, boys!
624798*latches onto Jarvan's arm* I'm sorry, Shyvana, you can tempt Jarvan all you want, but Iron Stylus has stated that he is going to ship me and Jarvan. So there! Nyah nyah nyah!
624804He said that?? Is this some sort of bad joke??
624798The only joke around here is you, former queen of the jungle!
624804Why you little... I'll give you a joke! Knock knock!
624798Who's there?
624804I ate!
624798I ate who?
624804I ate Valor! *stuffs Valor into her mouth*
624799Valor! Nooooo!
624804*talking with mouth full* Thash wush shoo gesh, shoo fowah cweep hoe (translation: That's what you get, you power-creeped hoe)
624796Shyvana! How many times have we gone over this? You can't just devour everyone who disagrees with you!
624804*grumbles* Oh, fine... ptooey! *spits out a still-kicking Valor*
624799Valor, you're alive! Thank god!
624796Thank you for sparing Valor, Shyvana... and I have to admit, I am quite amazed! You're still in human form, yet you managed to fit that huge bird inside your mouth!
624804My mouth is capable of doing things which mere humans can only dream of. If you know what I mean. *tries to wink at Jarvan from behind her helmet*
624796I see... okay, I've decided. Shyvana is the one for me. Sorry, Quinn.
624798What!!! No! This is not how it's supposed to go!
624793*thunder cracks overhead* Thou shalt not go against my will, Jarvan!
624796By the gods! The almighty Parrot has appeared!
624793Yes, I am the almighty Parrot, and I have decreed, Prince Jarvan, that thou shalt be with Quinn!
624796But... Shyvana can fit an entire Demacian eagle inside her mouth... and boob window...
624793*lightning flashes overhead* YOU HAVE NO NEED FOR BOOB WINDOWS. THOU SHALT BE WITH QUINN.
624796How about... how about I get both women? Would that be okay?
624798No!!!
624796Damn. Worth a shot.
624793I am simply looking out for you, Prince Jarvan, since you and Shyvana can never be together due to physical incompatibilities.
624804What are you talking about?? We are more than compatible in every which way!
624793Shyvana, come on now. You always turn into a dragon whenever you get excited.
624804I do not!!
624793Jarvan, tell Shyvana that you love her.
624796Shyvana, I love you.
624791Oh Jarvan! <3
624793See!
624804What?
624793You turned into a dragon just now.
624804Did not!
624793Jarvan, tell her that her eyes are beautiful.
624796Shyvana, you have the most gorgeous eyes.
624791Oh Jarvan - wait! Damn it!
624797Parrot. What are you doing here?
624793Hey, Morello. I'm just setting the lore straight here between Quinn and Jarvan.
624797Lore?? LAUGH OUT LOUD, silly parrot! We don't do lore anymore here at Riot Games!
624794But... but... I like lore...
624797Begone, parrot, and trouble yourself no more with this... *Morello's face wrinkles in distaste*.... this "lore"... if I should again find you meddling where you do not belong, I will smite your precious Leona repeatedly with my nerf bat until she become less viable than support Mordekaiser.
624794This will not happen again, I swear! Please do not punish my beloved for my transgressions! Ninja vanish! *parrot vanishes*
624797And as for you, Prince Jarvan, don't think I haven't noticed your popularity in tournaments and high elo play! Muhaha, ninja vanish! *Morello vanishes*
624795Oh man. I am so screwed.
624805Jarvan, please! Do not cry! It pains my very heart to see you weep... here, come rest your head against my chest...
624795But... your boob window...
624805Hush, my dear prince, it is okay... I do not mind...
624798Oh no you don't, you scheming temptress! I'm not going down without a fight! *stuffs a bunch of sausage links into her mouth* See, Jarvan! I can do amazing things with my mouth, too!
624796Whoa.
624804Oh yeah? Let's see you do this, human! *stuffs a pot roast into her mouth*
624796Whoa!
624790Odd. Why are those ladies over there stuffing various foodstuffs into their mouth?
624792Hey, why wasn't I invited to the eating contest??
624790I'm not sure if they are participating in an eating contest, my dear chap. Is it me, or is Quinn carving out a boob window in her armor?
624792Why, I be gobsmacked! She IS carving out a boob window in her armor!
624794Nooo... Quinn... you must stay classy...

THE END

TLDR - Human form Shyvana can stuff an entire pot roast into her mouth.

COMMUNITY CONTRIBUTIONS:

Everyone knows Darius is a ******. Shyvana finds out firsthand just how much of a ****** he is. (http://na.leagueoflegends.com/board/showthread.php?t=3171490&page=14)

Shyvana and Quinn put their differences aside to show Noxus what's up! (http://na.leagueoflegends.com/board/showthread.php?t=3171490&page=15)


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Better Ban Talon

Member

02-27-2013

624818


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an army of dudes

Member

02-27-2013

Holy mother of God.


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SlumlordThanatos

Senior Member

02-27-2013

I'm sorry, I want to like this....

This dragged on for far too long.


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Joe Dolca

Senior Member

02-27-2013

Mother of god... This is awesome.


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League Logic

Senior Member

02-27-2013

Dafuq.


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CC Shepherd

Senior Member

02-27-2013

...I...I just...it's so long...


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FreestyleKneepad

Senior Member

02-27-2013

This is amazing.


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Freedom Prime

Senior Member

02-27-2013

Please stop.


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IS12c9caee90c700fc71890

Senior Member

02-27-2013

Glorious