Best Dom player ever?

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BooredMaan

Member

05-06-2013

107/20/96 in last 10. 10 wins in a row:

http://penguinrungames.com/images/10inrow.png


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Pylair

Senior Member

05-06-2013

Gentlemen, I am bored. That means it is time for conspiracy theories. Today, I shall elaborate on the reasons why the introduction of the Howling Abyss queue is yet another step in Riot’s plan to ensure the final corruption of society required for the rise of an Orwellian dictatorship.

Remember the first days of dominion. Remember the chaos, the idiocy and the sheer uncaring glee of every single player. Now think about how Riot marketed Dominion. See a connection? I thought so too. “Fast and fun”, while innocent at first, is precisely why we are doomed to eternal misery and depravity. Fast and fun, the mode was indeed, yet it was also juicy flame for the elitist. Elitists whom made up the majority of the player base. Thus it began, the Two Year Hate, an endless scourge of “noob mode”, “who takes Dominion seriously anyway”, and “lol, stfu you play Dominion”. Surely this could not have been an unforeseen outcome. Riot knew their player base, a fetid confection of intelligent donkeys and egoistic semi-morons. No, I refuse to believe that such an oversight could occur. The so called “failure in marketing” had achieved, and achieved beyond expectations, its goal of providing hate fuel to the masses.

You may be asking for the reason for going through such lengths for a seemingly unnecessary goal. I shall tell you, but first, imagine as many examples of rage as you can. Good. You will notice that, while they are numerous, they are about as directed and organized as your average solo queue team. Some choose to assault women, some choose to lynch blacks, some choose to slice heads and slit throats, and some choose to bicker over anime characters. In no case is this potentially world wrecking energy being utilized for a single goal. Riot has seen this and decided to intervene. They now dominate one of the largest groups of easily manipulated cattle in the world, teenagers and adults whom have too much time on their hands. And with a low attention span and lack of punishment for general dickishness, goes the caps on raw, primal emotion. Anger, previously tempered by reason and sanity, now springs eagerly from their minds, sharply aware of any chance to scar and sear the psyche of a fellow tool. Now you realize what Dominion is for. Among all the spectacularly petty reasons for human foolishness and folly, in the eyes of the league player base, there is one thing, one constant, on which they can agree on; Dominion is for scrubs, and putting them down is righteous and entertaining. Hatred is a communal activity after all.

And so it goes. League grows larger day by day, and with it, the tempers of the suckers who play it. It is no wonder that every single patch contains a gameplay “adjustment’ that would even make the most tolerant question the intelligence of those on the live balance team. We Dominion players have endured and endured, yet it has come to a point where we question the true motives behind Riot. After all, one always thinks a bit deeper about a system that mistreats and abuses oneself. And we have thought deeper. Many of us have quit, escaping their clutches for just a bit longer. When the truth escapes its prison, we will be the first to cover its escape. Riot cannot have that. Not a shred of unorthodox thought is to be tolerated; the veneration for Tiny Teemo must always burn brightly in the heart of man. Thus, we will be converted. We shall join them in communal hatred, and we shall like it. There will no longer be rebellion, there will no longer be love, and there will no longer be Dominion.

The truth should be scratching at the edge of your mind now, if you are not already aware of it. Remember the horrendous queue times that drove many a player away? Who is to blame for that? We can blame Riot, for adding such a monstrosity, but to you, who is the bigger target? Who is the cause of Riot implementing the queue, which pressures their friends to experiment with this new mode? Yes, it is ARAM players. It is ARAM players who killed your beloved mode. It is ARAM players whom butchered one of the greatest innovations in the gaming field. It is ARAM players you hate, and hate you shall. A new heretic has arisen, a new face waiting to be smashed, and you will participate. You do not have a choice. You cannot refuse yourself.

And when you have fallen in line with orthodoxy, when your will is Riot’s will, when you have surrendered your emotions, your mind, your soul, only then will the dictatorship triumph. Only then will Tiny Teemo triumpth. Only then will you triumph.


Thus goes the tide of history.

tldr: If you are reading this, it is too late for you.


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Fancy Wolf

Senior Member

05-06-2013

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pylair View Post
Gentlemen, I am bored. That means it is time for conspiracy theories. Today, I shall elaborate on the reasons why the introduction of the Howling Abyss queue is yet another step in Riot’s plan to ensure the final corruption of society required for the rise of an Orwellian dictatorship.

Remember the first days of dominion. Remember the chaos, the idiocy and the sheer uncaring glee of every single player. Now think about how Riot marketed Dominion. See a connection? I thought so too. “Fast and fun”, while innocent at first, is precisely why we are doomed to eternal misery and depravity. Fast and fun, the mode was indeed, yet it was also juicy flame for the elitist. Elitists whom made up the majority of the player base. Thus it began, the Two Year Hate, an endless scourge of “noob mode”, “who takes Dominion seriously anyway”, and “lol, stfu you play Dominion”. Surely this could not have been an unforeseen outcome. Riot knew their player base, a fetid confection of intelligent donkeys and egoistic semi-morons. No, I refuse to believe that such an oversight could occur. The so called “failure in marketing” had achieved, and achieved beyond expectations, its goal of providing hate fuel to the masses.

You may be asking for the reason for going through such lengths for a seemingly unnecessary goal. I shall tell you, but first, imagine as many examples of rage as you can. Good. You will notice that, while they are numerous, they are about as directed and organized as your average solo queue team. Some choose to assault women, some choose to lynch blacks, some choose to slice heads and slit throats, and some choose to bicker over anime characters. In no case is this potentially world wrecking energy being utilized for a single goal. Riot has seen this and decided to intervene. They now dominate one of the largest groups of easily manipulated cattle in the world, teenagers and adults whom have too much time on their hands. And with a low attention span and lack of punishment for general dickishness, goes the caps on raw, primal emotion. Anger, previously tempered by reason and sanity, now springs eagerly from their minds, sharply aware of any chance to scar and sear the psyche of a fellow tool. Now you realize what Dominion is for. Among all the spectacularly petty reasons for human foolishness and folly, in the eyes of the league player base, there is one thing, one constant, on which they can agree on; Dominion is for scrubs, and putting them down is righteous and entertaining. Hatred is a communal activity after all.

And so it goes. League grows larger day by day, and with it, the tempers of the suckers who play it. It is no wonder that every single patch contains a gameplay “adjustment’ that would even make the most tolerant question the intelligence of those on the live balance team. We Dominion players have endured and endured, yet it has come to a point where we question the true motives behind Riot. After all, one always thinks a bit deeper about a system that mistreats and abuses oneself. And we have thought deeper. Many of us have quit, escaping their clutches for just a bit longer. When the truth escapes its prison, we will be the first to cover its escape. Riot cannot have that. Not a shred of unorthodox thought is to be tolerated; the veneration for Tiny Teemo must always burn brightly in the heart of man. Thus, we will be converted. We shall join them in communal hatred, and we shall like it. There will no longer be rebellion, there will no longer be love, and there will no longer be Dominion.

The truth should be scratching at the edge of your mind now, if you are not already aware of it. Remember the horrendous queue times that drove many a player away? Who is to blame for that? We can blame Riot, for adding such a monstrosity, but to you, who is the bigger target? Who is the cause of Riot implementing the queue, which pressures their friends to experiment with this new mode? Yes, it is ARAM players. It is ARAM players who killed your beloved mode. It is ARAM players whom butchered one of the greatest innovations in the gaming field. It is ARAM players you hate, and hate you shall. A new heretic has arisen, a new face waiting to be smashed, and you will participate. You do not have a choice. You cannot refuse yourself.

And when you have fallen in line with orthodoxy, when your will is Riot’s will, when you have surrendered your emotions, your mind, your soul, only then will the dictatorship triumph. Only then will Tiny Teemo triumpth. Only then will you triumph.


Thus goes the tide of history.

tldr: If you are reading this, it is too late for you.

You sir are a saint! I love you


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Kiddalee

Senior Member

05-06-2013

Pylair, I love your "whom"s.


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Fabs457

Senior Member

05-06-2013

never plays bot? how unexciting


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Glowsparkle

Member

05-06-2013

Quote:
Originally Posted by Pylair View Post
Gentlemen, I am bored. That means it is time for conspiracy theories. Today, I shall elaborate on the reasons why the introduction of the Howling Abyss queue is yet another step in Riot’s plan to ensure the final corruption of society required for the rise of an Orwellian dictatorship.

Remember the first days of dominion. Remember the chaos, the idiocy and the sheer uncaring glee of every single player. Now think about how Riot marketed Dominion. See a connection? I thought so too. “Fast and fun”, while innocent at first, is precisely why we are doomed to eternal misery and depravity. Fast and fun, the mode was indeed, yet it was also juicy flame for the elitist. Elitists whom made up the majority of the player base. Thus it began, the Two Year Hate, an endless scourge of “noob mode”, “who takes Dominion seriously anyway”, and “lol, stfu you play Dominion”. Surely this could not have been an unforeseen outcome. Riot knew their player base, a fetid confection of intelligent donkeys and egoistic semi-morons. No, I refuse to believe that such an oversight could occur. The so called “failure in marketing” had achieved, and achieved beyond expectations, its goal of providing hate fuel to the masses.

You may be asking for the reason for going through such lengths for a seemingly unnecessary goal. I shall tell you, but first, imagine as many examples of rage as you can. Good. You will notice that, while they are numerous, they are about as directed and organized as your average solo queue team. Some choose to assault women, some choose to lynch blacks, some choose to slice heads and slit throats, and some choose to bicker over anime characters. In no case is this potentially world wrecking energy being utilized for a single goal. Riot has seen this and decided to intervene. They now dominate one of the largest groups of easily manipulated cattle in the world, teenagers and adults whom have too much time on their hands. And with a low attention span and lack of punishment for general dickishness, goes the caps on raw, primal emotion. Anger, previously tempered by reason and sanity, now springs eagerly from their minds, sharply aware of any chance to scar and sear the psyche of a fellow tool. Now you realize what Dominion is for. Among all the spectacularly petty reasons for human foolishness and folly, in the eyes of the league player base, there is one thing, one constant, on which they can agree on; Dominion is for scrubs, and putting them down is righteous and entertaining. Hatred is a communal activity after all.

And so it goes. League grows larger day by day, and with it, the tempers of the suckers who play it. It is no wonder that every single patch contains a gameplay “adjustment’ that would even make the most tolerant question the intelligence of those on the live balance team. We Dominion players have endured and endured, yet it has come to a point where we question the true motives behind Riot. After all, one always thinks a bit deeper about a system that mistreats and abuses oneself. And we have thought deeper. Many of us have quit, escaping their clutches for just a bit longer. When the truth escapes its prison, we will be the first to cover its escape. Riot cannot have that. Not a shred of unorthodox thought is to be tolerated; the veneration for Tiny Teemo must always burn brightly in the heart of man. Thus, we will be converted. We shall join them in communal hatred, and we shall like it. There will no longer be rebellion, there will no longer be love, and there will no longer be Dominion.

The truth should be scratching at the edge of your mind now, if you are not already aware of it. Remember the horrendous queue times that drove many a player away? Who is to blame for that? We can blame Riot, for adding such a monstrosity, but to you, who is the bigger target? Who is the cause of Riot implementing the queue, which pressures their friends to experiment with this new mode? Yes, it is ARAM players. It is ARAM players who killed your beloved mode. It is ARAM players whom butchered one of the greatest innovations in the gaming field. It is ARAM players you hate, and hate you shall. A new heretic has arisen, a new face waiting to be smashed, and you will participate. You do not have a choice. You cannot refuse yourself.

And when you have fallen in line with orthodoxy, when your will is Riot’s will, when you have surrendered your emotions, your mind, your soul, only then will the dictatorship triumph. Only then will Tiny Teemo triumpth. Only then will you triumph.


Thus goes the tide of history.

tldr: If you are reading this, it is too late for you.
This gets better with each read.


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BooredMaan

Member

05-06-2013

What is this spam.


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Pylair

Senior Member

05-06-2013

Quote:
Originally Posted by BooredMaan View Post
What is this spam.
Yes Boored, why do you spam to give me opportunities to counter spam?


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Koravel

Senior Member

05-06-2013

No revive used by Xander in any of those games.

So no, as a matter of fact he is still in the bottom half or more of Dominion players.


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Timekeeper

Senior Member

05-06-2013

Pylair, never stop being this awesome. It would be a sad day in the community for you to give this up.