Nayenne, the Survivor
In a far away world there was a planet whose inhabitants had absolutely no knowledge of magic. They had, however, developed such a high standard of technology that most people were bored to death and only entertained by the game.
Yes, there was a game they were playing. Almost everyone was playing the game from time to time. When playing the game, you were put into a suit which enhances the body and simulates collisions with simulated stuff that one could only see through special glasses. It was pretty cool a game. It got further developed and implemented into every-day life. One could play it when going to work, work while playing the game, because it adapted to whatever you actually had to do and so on. But seeing that it was now developing into every-day life, people needed a new cause of entertainment. That was when they inserted a 'hardcore' mode, where you could really fight with those suits. The weapons that were previously simulated became real to the extent it was possible. You were pretty likely to die in this mode seeing that every kill requires a death. Some people just like killing, others throw their lives away, not seeing any sense in it. And then there's those that get forced to play it, when they were viewed at as unfit for the community. All of it was broadcasted live.
In it lived a girl called Nayenne, but unlike in some fairy tale, which you might now expect she was a pretty normal girl. She fit the community too, and she played the game from time to time. Not the hardcore mode though, that was for the crazy ones, but it was entertaining to watch. The problem now was, that she was -falsely- accused of murder. The world was corrupt and by no means a perfect world. Some media guys needed new, interesting players. She suited that role perfectly. She was upon the top ranked players - regarding how little she played the game, not total. She hadn't even been hurt yet. And so she was sentenced to death. In that world that meant that she was forced to play the game in hardcore mode - fourteen hours a day, which was exactly what the media guys wanted.
Against all odds she survived two weeks. She had killed hundreds of people in the progress, full of hatred for being put in there for no reason and hatred on those people. People that killed just for fun. People that didn't value life. They deserved to die.
"I never chose this, but it clearly chose me. I will survive!" - Nayenne
Read the second post if you want to know how she came to the League.
Nayenne is a thin 19 year old girl who wears two wristbands with attached blades. Whenever I'm talking about chains I'm talking about thin chains that are connecting the blades and the wristbands and that can be lengthened or shortened on demand. She wears a full suit that enhances every single movement she makes. The suit has been partially exchanged by implements seeing she had to look good for the game's TV-show and had lost all her rights. She has long hair. How exactly that looks is too hard to describe and there might be some variations to it, too so I'll give it a try and draw some pictures of her. I can't do that all that soon though, I don't have that much time and I don't have the right equipment with me right now.
First (crappy) sketch, second sketch showing her head after she stood up again from being bursted down, yes, she is kind of angry.
Attachment 585139Attachment 586938
Stat Stat lvl 0 (+scaling) | Stat at lvl 18
Damage 52.5 (+3.25 / per level) | 111
Health 429 (+89 / per level) | 2031 [1137 / 894]
Energy 200 (+0 / per level) | 0
Move Speed 350 | 350
Armor 16.5 (+3.5 / per level) | 79.5
Magic Resist 30 (+1 / per level) | 48
Health Regen/5 0 (+0 / per level) | 0
Energy Regen/5 50 (+0 / per level) | 50
Energy Regen/1 10 (+0 / per level) | 10
Range 125 | 125
Attack Speed (p/Sec) 0.694 (+2.651% / per level) | 1.006
██████░░░░ > Attack
███████░░░ > Health
█████████░ > Difficulty
█████░░░░░ > Spells
Passive - Regeneration - Nayenne regenerates using her suits regeneration system. She stuns herself if she takes damage too quickly.
She regenerates by 1.5% times the % of energy she has each second. This counts as healing or regeneration effect.
Should she take more than 60% of her maximum health as damage in less than 5 seconds, she falls to her knees for 2.5 seconds (stun; visual effect: shield). She will only take 50% damage while on her knees.
Q - Chain Strike - Nayenne shoots out one of her blades on a chain. When hitting the target location it extends to some sort of anchor and starts pulling all enemies behind it up to a limit of two towards Nayenne over the course of one second. From the moment on the anchor gets pulled back, the chain starts dealing magic damage to all targets having contact to it. She can still cast other abilities or attack while the blade is on its way. Flashing, hitting a third target or hitting the pulled target with your E drops the pull effect.
Damage from the blade: 60/90/120/150/180 (+0.7 per Bonus Attack Damage) physical damage.
This damage can critically hit and applies on hit effects to the first champion hit.
Damage from being next to the chain: 20 / 40 / 60 / 80 / 100 (+0.5 per Ability Power) magic damage per second.
Cooldown: 20/19/18/17/16 seconds.
W - Tech - Nayenne's muscles and weapons get enhanced. She can activate this ability to speed herself up and get ready to use other abilities faster.
Active: Reduces the cooldown of all her other abilities by 2/2.5/3/3.5/4 seconds. Also increases Nayenne's attackspeed by 20/25/30/35/40% for 5 seconds.
Passive: Adds 12/18/24/30/36(+0.2Ap) as magic damage to her attacks by heating the blades.
Cooldown: 8 seconds.
E - Kick - Nayenne prepares for a mighty kick gaining movespeed for a short duration. She can reactivate this ability to kick the closest target or wall and jump away from it.
Upon activation Nayenne gains 25% movement-speed for 2 seconds.
She can then reactivate this ability within those two seconds to execute a kick (skillshot) dealing 10/50/80/110/140(+1.2Ad/+0.8Ap)physical damage to the first target hit and jump to the opposite direction for 450 units should it have hit anything. Can also hit walls.
The kick applies a debuff called 'dazed' which slows the movement and attack-speed of the target hit by 25% for 1.5 seconds.
Can critically hit. Walls are kick proof. They will endure the kick, no worries. If the kick hits anything, she gains 40 Energy.
Cooldown: 14/13/12/11/10 seconds.
R - Electric Chain - Nayenne swings one of her blades in an arch. Enemies that touch the chain that connects take damage over time and are slowed. She can reactivate the ability to pull all targets hit towards her.
Nayenne can't attack or use any other abilities while this ability is active. Upon activating this ability again, she draws her targets towards her by 500 units over the course of one second, rendering herself unable to move for the duration of the pull, same counts for the targets. If there is no targets she could pull she cancels the ability instead.
The blade travels 0 units per second in an arch at first increasing by 100 units every 0.2 seconds up to a maximum of 1250 units or the speed reached till you hit your first enemy or activate the ability again.
The chain can hit multiple targets and has a total length of 1250 units (the length increases by 750 units per second) targets can flee from the chain after they have been hit. Also it would then stop extending. Same happens when she gets stunned.
Damage over time: 80/120/160 (+0.4Ap) magic damage per second. There is a maximum of 3 ticks on each target.
This ability lasts a maximum of 5 seconds.
Cost: 120 Energy
Cooldown: 120 seconds.
Some rough sketch to help you understand what the ult does:
Knees down, gets shielded. Shortly before reviving begins she starts channeling teleport to get back to base.
A bit like this. Would also make for a skin concept for her.
Casually leans her hips to the left.
"I was told do hold back on you, for the sake of balance."
Had more, but the forums crashed when I tried to update so..
READ THE LORE - it might change a little once and then, but it came before the champion!
Concerning the champion:
You have good sustain and you can't be bursted - but that doesn't mean you can't be trapped. Seeing that you stun yourself after losing just 56% of your health being bursted you are out of position much more easily than normal champions. Also you should be careful with towerdives, stunning yourself against a turret usually means that you die. Her ultimate is a great initiation-tool and can be used defensively, too.
High health will help you survive but the base damage is not all that high so you might want to build at least one damage item, I would recommend building a Guinsoo's Rageblade. I would also recommend building items with cooldown reduction.
About the usage of abilities:
You can chain your Q and E spell in many different ways.You can sacrifice damage for more displacement. When kicking a target you are dragging towards you the drag will be stopped immediately.
Your R is centered on you. You might hit more enemies when jumping into them once the time has come. You need some anchor for that though. You can not pull them further with this ability, seeing that you are unable to move and cast anything while pulling your enemies towards you with your ult..
The R is an initiation tool but it can also be used to save allies without getting yourself in all too much trouble. It is rather bad at saving your own ass though. Use your E-Spell for that.
She is designed to be a top laner or jungler but she can possibly be played as mid laner or support(!), too.
The general opinion might be that she can't be played as support. I played Akali as support. 10 times. Won 80%. Sure, I'm good with Akali. But even though I took neither the initial kills nor the lasthits.. and warded all the time, they said it was no support. It was as much of a support one could get that way. I would so play this champion as support if need be.
If you like it, I'm glad you like it. If you have any ideas how to improve it, tell me and I'll think about it.
Thanks to InSaNiTyVoid, Dzanio (so many comments from his side, appreciate him sticking with me) for reviewing and Cryoshell17 for planning to review. (Also to Siky for the first comment that didn't tell me my Concept sounded like Zyra..)
Thanks also to SoWrules discussing with me for hours about how to balance this champion!
-changed the name from Xyra to Nayenne, hope that works.
Added a different version of her.
Intro&Arrival of Nayenne in Valoran (better now)
Nayenne was put together with the best of the best. The craziest players. She had survived longer than most of them in just two weeks. She was one of those that had been forced to play the game.
Normally people that chose to play the game didn't play as much as prisoners and prisoners usually died on their first day. She had played 210 hours and killed 472 people. This was the beginning of her third week. She was about to put up a new record, category "the survivor". Just two minutes to go.
But when the gates opened this time and when she entered the arena something changed. Everything grew dark around her and, losing her consciousness, she sank to her knees.
The next time she awoke she was in some kind of laboratory. Everything around her seemed weird. Still very weak she looked around and saw some tall weird looking guy turning towards her. What had happened?
"Ah, you're awake." the guy took a break, then he added "I am Viktor."
She couldn't understand that language. She had in fact never heard anything like it. Still very confused she asked:
"What happened, where am I?"
"Hum, let's try this device here.."
Still gibberish. He gave her some communication device, at least that was what it had to be and repeated:
"I am Viktor. Concerning your last question. Honestly, I am not entirely sure as to what had happened. I developed some kind of field device to put up a stasis field. Then you appeared in the middle of it, kneeing just the way you are now. I might accidentally have developed some kind of teleporting device. You are currently in my laboratory; in Zaun."
Zaun? She had never heard of that. Some thing was wrong here.
"And who are you?", asked Viktor "You have some interesting technical devices with you."
"I am Nayenne." she took a deep breath and stood up "A prisoner from one of the great Arenas. You might call me a gladiator, seeing that I was sentenced to death by fighting there."
Viktor took a closer look at her. She seemed to be wearing some really interesting suit. And she seemed to be weakened at the moment. He might just go on and kill her to take her stuff and have a better look at it. But he had already taken a look at one of those parts. The technology was totally different. No techmaturgy at all. He couldn't do that. She might be of some other use though. Seeing that she said she was a gladiator it didn't seem all too clever to ask her to explain to him how her armor worked.
"So you're a good fighter then?" he took another break, not really expecting her to answer his question he added "I, too fight, for the sake of techmaturgy."
"That sounds as if it were from a game.. as if you mixed magic and technology.."
She laughed desperately. This couldn't be true.
"That's totally right."
Magic? There was no such thing. She looked around in his laboratory.
"Magic? Are you joking?"
In response, Viktor sighed and cast a spell around her showing her what he meant. What kind of weird place did he take that girl from?
"I'm not. Do you think there could be an other explanation for all of this? That device I gave you; I am sure you can't build something like that without techmaturgy. I ask you once again: Are you a good fighter?"
Now he had her full attention. She answered:
"In my world at least, I am."
That left some hope of his work not to be in vain. The field definitely didn't do what it was supposed to do, and on top of that, the field generator broke from that usage.
"That sounds good. An institute has been founded where different fractions battle each other in some kind of arena instead of going to war. It's called the League of Legends. If you pass their judgement you'd be a welcome ally to me."
She knew she was doomed in the place she came from. He didn't know it; he could probably think of it by her explanations though. She was pretty sure she could kill that guy. But then one doesn't kill ones savior. One helps him. She didn't want to fight. She had killed a lot already. She had been angry. She was no murderer in the first place. But now she surely was. It is not necessary to kill your opponents in the arena. She killed them all nevertheless.
The best thing she could do now was helping this man. It couldn't take forever.
So she said
"Just lead me there and let them decide. I won't just sit around. You saved my life and I will help you and your country if that's what you want."
and hit the road for her judgement.
Now that you say it, yes I do
I don't care all too much about the name though, just had to give it some name!
Be assured Zyra was not my inspiration to chose that name, I might even have taken another name had I thought of that before xD
I can't change the name of this that easily though, I would have to 1. think of a name I like 2. have to close this thread and open a new one.
Do you have any thoughts about the champion, other than its name?
I think the biggest problem with the concept is the readability. A lot of the abilities need better descriptions because it took a couple reads to actually understand what the abilities are supposed to and what you want them to do together.
I see. You didn't even understand it (even when you said you had understood it) xD
I'll rewrite it the way you proposed, writing all the effects one after another and writing range and so on below.
The Q-ability should look like that:
What do you think.. what should her standard hair-color be; black or white? Something else?
Armor dark blue - blue or white lights? Grey and red lights? Dark grey and yellow lights? Little armor and no lights? Just say something; might have an impact on what my artwork looks like once I get towards that.
How big are splash-art and sneak-peak (resolution)?
Lore: Feels a little choppy, although I think it succeeds in giving the reader an impression of the champion; I let Moby do most of the critiquing here. I'm sure he'll straighten out the issues.
Passive: It is traditional to put this above your Q ability, and not at the bottom of the abilities section. I was a little confused at first.
This is an interesting and unique ability. I'm not terribly sure how balanced it would be in game. I think it would work until the adc, or an ad caster got enough burst to get through the primary healthbar. After that the ability would stun lock her to death. It also assumes that some AP champ won't be able to just burst down the secondary health bar, leaving her primary health vulnerable.
Q: Range seems high for a multi target pull considering it does damage. Cooldown is much too low; Darius's starts off at 20 seconds, and scales down to 12. Considering that his abilities cost mana, yours should have a longer cd.
W: Get rid of the pen; the ability is rather OP as is. You realize with this and Q maxed, your Q would have no cd right? I'd add 2-3 seconds to the base cd of all your abilities to offset this one.
E: To be balanced, the second half of the ability should be dropped. Currently does way too much damage, and provides too much cc and escape.
R: Total length of 500 units would be more appropriate (look up Kat's ult). The total damage this ability should do base is around 400 (all damage types), max scaling (for the entire duration) should be around 1.0 bonus AD, or 1.2 AP, or some combination thereof. With this sort of damage the pull and slow are appropriate. If you increase the damage at all you have to lose the cc.
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