[Champion Concept] Hara, Elder Sage of Fyrone

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Wulffe

Senior Member

11-30-2012

Eh, they were just small stuff that were easily looked over. A misspelled 'the' and 'it', etc here and there.

No need to thank me. It's well deserved. :]


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AForgotten Angel

Senior Member

11-30-2012

The lore reminds me of the Taurens almost of WoW but she sounds like a interesting champ and a good fit for Alistars mate.


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Wulffe

Senior Member

11-30-2012

A little bit, yes. But then again, anything minotaur related these days gets associated with the Tauren of WoW or general beastfolk of this that or the other. >< I am glad that at least found Hara to be interesting and a perfect match for Alistar.


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Wulffe

Senior Member

12-07-2012

Who brought the beef? This champ!


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EGOtyst

Senior Member

01-28-2013

Wulffe,
I love where you have taken her. The sage-like compliment to Alistar is a perfect choice. Good idea.
Ok, so, now, compliments aside, on to the next parts. And remember, I'm not here to be a cheerleader, but make her better. This is a fine-toothed comb of love.

Name: The Elder Sage... I just don't read her, Alistar, or the pictures you put in as old. Unless she is like a Mormon elder... Also, a sage is just a wise person. I don't read nature magic from her name. I would work, maybe at a title that conjured the nature magic she purports. Or have some skills that dealt with the "scrying" she can do in her lore? There just seems to be some disconnects. Nature magic, scrying magic, or a bull with a cool horn? I just leave a bit confused.

Lore: Short, sweet, and to the point. Nice. A few points:
"The Noxians would have you believe that Alistarís race had been exterminated, leaving him as the sole survivor of an example the might of Noxus. He too believed his people were all but a memory. That could not be further from the truth: tucked away, on edge of Fyrone, rests a well established (how can it be well-established if everyone, including Alistar, thinks that all of them are dead?) fortress made by the minotaur that was called the northern plains home (this sentence says that the fortress is called the northern plains home, and that it was made by the minotaur. Did Hara and her refugees make this? Was it made prior to them, abandoned, and then reclaimed? I am confused).

When Alistar was lured from his village his mate sensed impending doom and led a mass exodus of her people out of the city, leaving only volunteers to keep the encroaching Noxians at bay (maybe I'm nitpicking, but they didnt keep them at bay. Suicide squad? To what ends? If doom was inevitable, why would anyone stay? Just seems unlikely). Escaping to the land they would call home, Hara led them to prosperity and growth in an unknown and harsh land (Just so I understand, in the short time that Alistar has been gone, she led them to prosperity? I think the timeline is a bit ambitious). Some time passed while Hara grieved the loss of her mate. One day when meditating alone she saw a vision of Alistar fighting in a strange, unknown place. When scrying into the vision she found herself looking upon the citadel that was the Institute of War. Leaving leadership in the hands of her daughter and the tribal elder, Hara set out to show the world that not only do her people still exist but they now were capable of handling themselves both on foreign soil and on the Fields of Justice. (So her motivation is to show the world that her people arent dead and that they can kick butt? Isnt Alistar already doing that? That is just a weird segue: she sees alistar in a vision, and then needs to fight people? go get alistar, sure. Prove something to the world? IDK)"

Okay, now on to the skills.

Passive: This just seems a bit boring. Also, is it 3% of base/level, so, +54% of base at lvl 18, or is it of bonus? If it is of base, boring. If it is of bonus, OP!

Q: 170 (.6) X5/second for 6 seconds?! That is 4500 dmg for someone in all 5 cyclones for the duration. Then, add in the 250 dmg and knockback to the dustdevil... I'm not saying its OP or anything... but... Shyvanas W, one of the best clearing tools in the game, does 5 / 40 / 55 / 70 / 85 (+ 20% Bonus AD), and is centered on her. And cant be cast 5 times on top of itself... Just sayin...
Also, the way it is cast, is it one gust at a time, or 3 at a time, then 5 at a time? What is the cooldown, if they last 6 seconds apiece, and I have to have 3 out in order to do the last part of the spell?
If they are cast individually, then it has to be like 1.5 second cooldown. This could be mitigated by making DD have a large cooldown if you used it. But, then, I would just never use it, since I'm doing 4500 dmg without it. If it is all 5 at once, are they in a cone or some kinda pattern? IDK.

W: So.... yeah. If someone has 100 AP, and you have 100 AP, This skill, at max rank, gives them 80 more AP. That is more than Taric's ULT. And his doesnt give move speed or health regen, or fear minions... Even if we scrap the .6AP modifier (That means you add 60% of your AP to the 10% of the skill at rank 1...), at level 5, this skill, if someone has 200 AP/AD, it gives them more than Taric's Ult. And then it give them regen and move speed. Im not calling this OP... I'm just saying...

E: This is a cool skill, in line with Alistar's passive. You have a hard-on for the doing dmg while walking. Not my thing, but whatever. I think the damage on the walking is tuned a bit too high. That would be a ton of AOE dmg, just from walking around. Also, why slow her and the targets? If she is slowed 25, and targets are slowed 15, just slow her 10. Same exact effect, less confusing.

R: Man am I confused. The more I read it, though, I think you just used a very unfortunate word in "caught." No one is really caught inside, since they can move freely within it, right? So it is a giant, blinding thicket that does damage to people until they get out of it. Cool idea. I like the thought. I would hate playing against it. lets look at the numbers. Duration? None listed. Cooldown: 40 seconds? Really? To take an entire teams team vision for x amount of time, you have a cooldown of 40 seconds, 22 seconds with max CDR? Now, lets say that I get caught in the middle of this exactly, and I run to the nearest edge, which is 1500 units away. So, at 400 movespeed, it would take me 4 seconds to get out of the thicket, and I would take 800 (+.8AP) dmg, and have no vision. I'm not screaming OP... I'm just saying...

In general, the skills dont make me feel tied to the spirit-esque lore and name you have given me. It is a tough balancing act, I agree. Cow-power and a mage? Hmm. I think you could play more on the tortured survivor trope. A shaman who is at pain for losing so many of her clan. She sees Alistar, and realizes that she MUST join the fight, for the ones Noxus destroyed. Maybe she is meditating and gets a visit from the spirits of her dead clansmen. And then you tie in this scrying, spirit magic into her skills. Give it some cow. Her ult can be a giant, uninterrupted channel where raging bulls run around her? IDK. I dont know if the druid is the right answer. I'm not saying it is wrong, but scryer/meditator doesnt read druid to me. Maybe I am over thinking things.
Either way, the numbers need to be toned down. Wow do they. And the skills themselves are vague. I think the tortured cleric, in touch with her slaughtered ancestors, is a fantastic way to go for this cow. Keep at it!


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Frostbite Snipes

Senior Member

01-28-2013

Pretty good, I like the whole idea and I'd probably get them with IP if this champion was made, but some of the ratios seem pretty high....for damage per second. The bases too. The W mostly, basically gives a weaker singed ult to everyone near you and voli fearspams enemies. And the cooldown is low enough to possibly be used twice or more in a longer teamfight.

All around though, it seems pretty good, I like what the abilities do, just they might do a little TOO much.

Hey, if you like, could you check out one of my champion concepts? http://na.leagueoflegends.com/board/...8#post33970868


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Wulffe

Senior Member

02-16-2013

Just fitted Hara with my newest format and stumbled across some reviews I didn't even know existed!

@EGO:

For the title it is more druidic in origin and using common fantasy titles an Elder Sage would be the equivalent of an Archdruid or Archmage or High Priest, etc. She could even technically be considered a chieftess. No she is not all that elderly but she is, by all means, the Elder Sage of the minotaur.

I patched some parts of the Lore but I'll answer some of it here. The volunteers stayed behind to give the rest of the herd a chance to run and prevent the bulk of the Noxian forces from following. Yes, it was a suicide run but it was for the greater good. Think of their new home as El Dorado. It's well established and it's out there but no one really knows of its existence. Your argument could be that El Dorado had a pretty good amount of time to build up and I'll accept that. But I will say that Fyrone is very secluded and out of the way for all but the most adventurous of folks so it'd be reasonable that they had been left alone and had time to build a new home. They began building the fortress when they settled into Fyrone to have a more solid foothold unlike their previous nomadic campsites.

I significantly lowered the damage done by individual cyclones and added in the cooldown between them. She can only to one cyclone at a time and then when Dust Devil is used all cyclones that are out come together.

I also just about halved the bonus received from her W.

For her E I lowered the initial damage and lowered her own slow as well. The initial logic behind that was that Hara is putting power into her steps, essentially slowing her down to cause the tremors.

For her ultimate, I, once again, cut the damage done almost by half. I also added in the duration. It wasn't supposed to be so damage oriented as it's supposed to be a "hunting grounds" for her team.

Disregarding all of that, the only thing I will have to disagree with you on is the over all theme. She has control over the earth (including plant life) and the wind. She is also the voice and protector for her people. Even druids meditate and do a bit of scrying though they have different methods of doing so. In that she is by all means a sagely gal. She does have a point to prove as Noxus originally saw them as a weak people, meant to be slaughtered. The point is that they are no longer the different tribes they were before and could bring war to whoever threatened their new found home.


@Frostbite: I think I tweaked my abilities a bit to lower them a few pegs. :P I'll give your champ a look when I have some time to spend on them. I have a growing list of people I keep discovering have posted reviews. ><


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