The Shadow's Blade: Talon Part 1

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Basara BaskenJi

Senior Member

11-08-2012

Note: This is the first fanfic that I EVER wrote so sorry if it isn't very good ^^;

It was a dark and cold night in Noxus as many rested silently in their so called "homes" but, some never rested... Some lurked even in the darkest of hours doing what most men or women would never attempt, taking on even the most foolish of jobs because it was all for one purpose, a purpose that many may find flawed but we each have our own sense of what justice is, and this is my form of justice. "Live and die by the blade" those are words that I will never forget.

It was just another night like any other night, everything on the outside seemed calm, silent, and some might even say heartwarming however, it was nothing compared to what the inside really was. A bundle of chaos, pain, and screams of terror from those who were too weak to even defend themselves.

I had a bit of business to take care of as it seemed more and more assassination jobs were needed in order for Noxus to be flawless in those who serve it. I sat on the edge of an already run down building in what some might call the slums of Noxus looking across the road towards a cavern. My target appeared, his name was Julius Hinx, what crime had he committed? Did he have any family, any regrets? These are things I pay no mind to for my job is simple and to the point, my blade will reach their heart...

I jumped off the building letting a blade slip into both of my hands from the inside of my sleeves. I cared not who saw me, for anyone or anything that got in my way was just another body for the gutter. I slashed at the tavern's door multiple times as it fell to pieces, not many people were at the tavern just a couple workers on break but every eye that was currently in that room turned and looked at me.

"Hey, I hope you're going to pay for that door, it's not like those repair itself!" one of the people standing behind the front desk of the tavern said, I assumed since they were the only one to speak up they had to be the owner of the place. Irrelevant, my only business is a single man which I turned my attention towards. He was sitting in the very corner of the tavern as his look too was gazed upon me as though he'd known why I was there. He knew he had nowhere to hide, and that I was the type that never compromised.

He stood up not removing his gaze from me as everything in the tavern stood still for a brief moment... He made a quick run towards the door, how I love it when they run. My movements were swift and it was all done in a single instance, as I stood behind the male my blade pierced through his heart, "Enjoy the taste of steel, think of it as your last supper." I said as I removed my blood stained blade from his heart watching him fall lifelessly to the ground. This was my life and this is who and what I am. The owner of the tavern looked like he had the very definition of fear scarred into his mind and heart, not a single scream or sound escaped their mouths as they were afraid to be next.

I exited the tavern blood dripping from my blade as they retracted back into my sleeves. I fell back into the shadows leaving no trace of myself to be found, this was just the first stop of my long and endless journey. My next target would not be one of ease, it was a man with more skill than an average coward. Maybe finally someone would make me draw out a bit of my ability, a feeling I have yet to feel in awhile while on these jobs. My next target was the Seneschal of Demacia, Xin Zhao, I do not know why now, I do not care why now because sooner or later all of their hearts will meet my blade.


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Basara BaskenJi

Senior Member

11-09-2012

bump


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Basara BaskenJi

Senior Member

11-10-2012

final bumpz


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Frost Archer

Senior Member

11-16-2012

Eh.... Good idea I guess, and kudos for trying, but you did write it in first person. Not many people like it when it is first person since we all have different idea's on what that character is thinking. It comes at a personal level. Not really much of a story, so suddenly jumping to another major target was not a good idea. There are some grammar issues, but those can be fixed. People prefer the story to be more realistic, so slashing down a door with blades is a bit odd. I do congratulate you for not being simple minded and saying "Talon used shadow assault to cut the man's throat." or even worse. "Talon used shadow assault to cut the man's throat, dealing 260 base damage.". One must keep in mind that once you put a champion into a fan fic, it is no longer part of a game (sorta), but is now a character within a story.
Overall: 70% (I cut you some slack since this is your first. For a really good Fan fic, one that I would give a 93+, is "The only Truth" by KittyToast.)

Don't be discouraged by the lack of comments. Not all people are as nice as I am.