To the Edge of Light's Reach (Lux/Katarina)

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AerithRayne

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Senior Member

08-08-2012

I will attempt to post every two to three days, though that schedule is subject to change once classes begin if I have not completed by then (I start at the end of the month TT.TT).

Given that, eventually fanficnet will spit out my second chapter. I just don't want to throw it all out at once.
Spoiler: I think Chapter 3 is my favorite so far. I got to finally write some fighting scenes.



Edit: I think I'll try for a more reliable schedule and post MWF. Opinions?


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Loso

Senior Member

08-08-2012

So, I this isn't criticism or anything, but I ave no idea who's who in the first chapter. I'm totally lost lol.

Edit: I re-read it and realized it was Lux in the chair listening to Kat and Ezreal out in the hall. Wow, I'm dumb lol.

Anyways, this was quite the entertaining start to a series. I await more.


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AerithRayne

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08-08-2012

You're not stupid. The little preview thing for the thread-started never said her name. It's not biggie.
Also, thank you for reading and enjoying
^_____________^
Happy hippo


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AerithRayne

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Senior Member

08-09-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by AhLoso View Post
So, I this isn't criticism or anything, but I ave no idea who's who in the first chapter. I'm totally lost lol.

To throw a lot of unimportant stuff out of this babble, your comment made me realize that a few things needed to change since I aborted my original plan. With the way it is written, I have nothing to gain by not telling you who the character is. I went back and updated the story (threw her name in a few times), which cleared up a few confusing and messy pronoun parts. Great suggestion!

TLDR
Thank you for giving me constructive criticism. All the appreciation! <3


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Loso

Senior Member

08-09-2012

No problem...... I think lol


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Cerubois

Senior Member

08-09-2012

I read chapter 2, and I need to say something possibly negative...

Lux should know pretty much everything about the League already. She always does her research beforehand, and even knew what to expect in the League Judgements, despite the information being confidential.
She's also a fairly capable mage herself, and not only in light magic (it's just her preferred field). I don't think she'd be that impressed with summoners.

I'm not sure if you were just having her play the innocent blonde while talking to the summoner, as there were a few things that seemed to hint at that? If so, a sentence or two of her hidden thoughts might clue in the reader. If not... I'll just be unhappy.

Overall, though, I like your writing. Well put together and all, flow is great. Still looking forward to more.


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AerithRayne

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08-09-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cerubois View Post
I read chapter 2, and I need to say something possibly negative...

I'm not sure if you were just having her play the innocent blonde while talking to the summoner, as there were a few things that seemed to hint at that? If so, a sentence or two of her hidden thoughts might clue in the reader. If not... I'll just be unhappy.
Actually, that was precisely what I was aiming for. But I'll go back through and see what can be done to make a little bit more obvious but without outright saying things.

Also, thank you so much. This is EXACTLY why I posted my story here. I knew I needed help with a few things, this flavor of the story specifically. Thank you <3

Edit: "hidden thoughts" need to stay hidden as best as they can be, so it's a hard line to walk. But I guess I'm making them hidden too well. I should throw a few bones to smart cookies for figuring things out before they happen


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Cerubois

Senior Member

08-09-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by AerithRayne View Post
Actually, that was precisely what I was aiming for. But I'll go back through and see what can be done to make a little bit more obvious but without outright saying things.

Also, thank you so much. This is EXACTLY why I posted my story here. I knew I needed help with a few things, this flavor of the story specifically. Thank you <3

Edit: "hidden thoughts" need to stay hidden as best as they can be, so it's a hard line to walk. But I guess I'm making them hidden too well. I should throw a few bones to smart cookies for figuring things out before they happen
Excellent. I am not disappointed. Though I'd like to get inside Lux's head a bit more, I'm sure you have your reasons for keeping it vague.


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KobuZero

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08-09-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Silver of Souls View Post
^ Beat me to it. Dropped everything as well. MOAR.
As did I lol.


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AerithRayne

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Senior Member

08-10-2012

Hey there, everyone! I got up before the rest of the house did to finish Chapter two's revision. It's mostly a change in the dialogue between Lux and the summoner Havien. Hopefully, it'll better convey Lux's motives without giving her away and keep you wanting to read to find out what's going on

Since it's Friday, you'll also get Ch.3, the teamfight chapter. I had fun writing it, for some reason.
Hoping to hear back from my favorite critics

(This weekend, I'm hoping to catch up on people's stories and give reviews, so be on the lookout for me.)


P.S.
Before I forget, I have a surprise for you guys soon. I can't wait to share it with you all ^_^

Edit: Is anyone else excited about Kat's visual remake, along with her ability-tweaks? I can't wait to see ti in action. Also, I love how the bouncing blade picture is with Lux