☆☆☆ RIOT GAMES - Rumor Mill ☆☆☆

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JohnnyOmega

Senior Member

08-08-2012

Post your gossip here, folks!
(Shhhh!)

☆ Community Coordinator nikasaur reportedly defeated a 300 lb. biker dude in a drinking contest. Shortly afterwards, she sang the Tequila Song while dancing on the bar counter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheHatPerson View Post
Try this one. Skip to 2:50.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UVKsd...eature=related


☆ President Tryndamere was filled with endless rage when he discovered an empty box where his precious batch of Boston Creme donuts had been. The President proceeded to spin out of control on the rooftop of the Riot Games NA headquarters.

☆ Associate QA Lead Riot Taco Storm entered a wet t-shirt contest in the local night club and received first prize for stripping down to his nipples.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Riot Taco Storm View Post
Completely untrue. I didn't even make it to the semi-finals =/
Rumor has it that Lead Community Manager Tamat spotted Riot Taco Storm, disappointed by his ranking, being comforted by the I ❤ Nipples Club swimsuit models following the awards ceremony. In gratitude and drunken fervor, Riot Taco Storm reportedly showed off his mastery of nipple weight-lifting by balancing chairs on both of his manly protrusions.

☆ Sr. Concept Artist IronStylus and Lead Champion Designer Morello nearly came to blows when a heated argument erupted over what size cups the next female champion should have.

Quote:
Originally Posted by IronStylus View Post
Amusingly enough, I do have these discussions, but they don't really get heated.. they get "hot" in a different way..
Attachment 506194

Rumor has it that Riot Games maintains a $500,000 annual budget for the ensuing battles...

☆ Design Director Zileas got caught working on the clothing design of a teenager skin for Annie during his moonlight shift as a quality control taster at the local beer factory. His fellow tasters mistakenly confused Zileas' intentions and as a result decided to organize a Cosplayers Anonymous intervention meeting on Zileas' behalf.

☆ (following a tip by Nić) A mailman was found half alive after hours of searching in the jungle surrounding Web Content Specialist Phreak's home. The mailman had suffered tons of damage in an attempt to safely deliver Phreak's paycheck.

☆ (following a tip by Apollo Justice) Several Riot employees have reported hearing disturbing wails and moaning from underneath the floors of the Animation Department at Riot Games. When Senior Animator CaptainLx was questioned about the whereabouts of Associate Technical Animator JesterCapp during Jestercapp's days off, the only reply was "Instilling discipline into employees can be a rewarding experience."

☆ Senior LoL Services Engineer RiotShiminerisa has been rumored to have been spotted in downtown Los Angeles being chased by men in spiffy business suits. RiotShiminerisa appeared to have been carrying a cellphone and a banana fritter.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RiotShiminerisa View Post
I've been delving into the origins of the BF Sword and it's mired in controversy and stained with the blood of a thousand Yordles. I'm not sure I can take the red pill and see how deep this rabbit-hole goes...
☆ Senior Software Engineer RiotTantram got caught stealing President Tryndamere's donuts and was sentenced to reviewing Tribunal cases under consideration for permanent suspension over the summer.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RiotTantram View Post
I would have invited you all to my weekly beach volleyball party/BBQ ...
Quote:
Originally Posted by RiotTantram View Post
First of all, they were cupcakes ...
And stop getting reported people, I'm buried to my neck here!
☆ (following a tip by Tetramaster) There was an apparent inquiry into the possibility of aliens from outer space having taken over the underground tunnels beneath the NA Riot Games building. It was supposedly discovered that the alleged space aliens were actually mutant squirrels that had escaped the motion capture process that Associate VFX Artist Bitsplosion is using for an upcoming champion design.

According to an anonymous witness, the following comment was heard shortly before a mysterious explosion in the bowels of the NA Riot Dungeons...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bitsplosion View Post
'Squirrel' is... such a dirty word.

They're geniuses...! Visionaries!
☆ Assistant Producer RiotSeb was curious about why Associate Web/Graphic Designer Saiyaka had not sung during RiotSeb's last karaoke party. An anonymous source claims that the real reason was that Saiyaka's singing voice is the key to her transformation as a magical girl who must fight the forces of darkness with her magic rapping and beatbox skills. She had exhausted her voice in her most recent battle against her arch nemesis The Evil Beaver Lord.

Attachment 506510

Quote:
Originally Posted by Saiyaka
I want to be a female Asian beatboxer.

I am a classical singer and want to sing in a rap opera.
☆ On the night of August 8, 2012, Community Manager RiotBazner made her first dive into the seedy world of ranked LoL games. According to a semi-reliable informant, RiotBazner's true objective is to hunt down alleged members of a secret society of megalomaniacs plotting to take control of elo society through organized trolling. With her talent for "come hither" chat speak and her veteran experience as a spy during the MMO wars of the early 2000s, RiotBazner was hand selected by a panel of experts known only as "The Triumvirate" to get the job done...

Quote:
Originally Posted by RiotBazner
I can assure you I have skills in other areas.
And the plot thickens...

Quote:
Originally Posted by RiotTiza View Post
I can assure you only a little bit of your information is flawed - the part where you assume Bazner is operating alone.
☆ Recent scientific discoveries have revealed that VFX Artist Riot DudeBro may actually suffer from a schism in the space time continuum; an anomaly that has split his existence between a Dude and a Bro from parallel universes. It is speculated that Riot DudeBro is actually an amalgamated entity created from the warped reality interaction of Riot DudeDude and Riot BroBro. Riot's R & D Department has declined to comment on the classified experiments currently taking place to determine whether the Dude originally came before the Bro, or the Bro before the Dude.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Riot DudeBro View Post
Plus I start every sentence with "dude" and end it with "bro"
☆ (following a tip by Xoripan) It was rumored that former Associate Game Designer Shurelia left Riot Games because they didn't let her wear her Mahou Shoujo cosplay outfit to work. This may not be the case. It appears that fellow Associate Game Designer FeralPony may have shown up for work in the same costume, and as a result challenged Shurelia to an office Cosplay Dance Battle. Shurelia's subsequent defeat in the dance battle may have been so hurtful to her pride that she left her employment at Riot to train in the mountains of Tibet, where the greatest dancers of anime cosplay are said to reside, hidden away from the rest of the world. It is said that Shurelia may one day return, with newly mastered cosplay skills, to avenge her loss at the hands of FeralPony. Only time can tell what will happen then...

☆ Network Ops Technician Jozrael apparently enjoys the game of Tag with such fervent passion that he visited a National Rifle Association convention dressed up as a giant Teemo and dared everyone to chase after him. The resulting calamity produced over 1 billion dollars worth of property damage and forced Riot Games to have a GPS tracking device attached to Jozrael's shiny new government issued probation collar.

Attachment 516153

Quote:
Originally Posted by Jozrael View Post
Anyone up for Catch the Teemo?
☆ Community Assistant Vesh was witnessed performing dangerous techmaturgical experiments on unsuspecting interns in the R & D laboratories at NA Riot Headquarter. This mad genius of neural techmaturgy was using a secretly constructed mind probe machine to possibly download the thoughts and emotions of her experimental subjects, and possibly some other nefarious effect. Human Resources at Riot Games claims no misconduct of any kind is being performed in the underground labs of the headquarters building, and a 368% increase in intern work efficiency within the past month...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Vesh View Post
I'm just trying to get a good feel for what would make you guys happy.
☆ The R & D Department of Riot Games has been secretly working on a machine that would allow brave employees to travel to the past. An anonymous informant has identified Animation Director RiotBamDragon as the third time traveler to participate in the experiments involving the rumored machine. The informant also shared a possible apocalyptic future that was averted by the timely intervention of RiotBamDragon, in which we would all have been mutated into giant killer bunnies by a global bioterrorism plot.

Attachment 512793

☆ In the dead of the night, Gameplay Analyst Kades was bitten by a ferocious were-koala. As a result, Kades has been stricken with lycanthropy and the ability to transform into a half human, half koala creature.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kades View Post
I might be in the minority on this one, but I'm not crazy about Silver Bullets.
A rare photo was taken inside of Riot NA headquarters as Kades reported for work on the advent of a full moon...

Attachment 514092

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kades View Post
Where did you get this picture?!?
☆ The true identity of the inquisitive vigilante superhero "Psychometric" is suspected to be none other than Lead Champion Designer Morello, whose office allegedly contains case files on over nine thousand wanted criminals and terrorists stored within a set of cleverly disguised portable hard drives. The masked hero "Psychometric" is known for his penchant for conspiracy theories and screaming "First Blood!" and "Legendary!" when beating up evil henchmen.

Attachment 516143

Quote:
Originally Posted by Morello View Post
Who really shot JFK?

._.
☆ Senior Motion Graphics Designer LiQuiD StRiPeS somehow managed to convince four busty female interns to team up with him to play on the newest form of entertainment in the employee's lounge at Riot NA headquarters: Jump Jump Revolution, an arcade machine that features footpads that register landing impacts from jumping. Many of his fellow employees voted to make LiQuiD StRiPeS the employee of the month for streaming this game session.

Quote:
Originally Posted by LiQuiD StRiPeS View Post
Awwwwww yeaaaaaaaahhhh
Quote:
Originally Posted by LiQuiD StRiPeS
I make shyt bounce at Riot.
☆ (Following a tip by Dessembrae) Sr LoL Services Engineer RiotShiminerisa is rumored to have the secret capability of causing the computers of fellow Riot staffers to crash over at Riot HQ. Fuel was added to the fire of this rumor when Senior Software Engineer RiotTantram (playing Urgot) taunted RiotShiminerisa (playing Hecarim) at the end of a Dominion match against each other and subsequently had his computer show nothing but kitties on the screen during a streamed live episode of "My Little Pony". RiotTantram promptly reacted by transforming into a green rage monster and eating all the muffins on the office snack table.

Quote:
Originally Posted by RiotTantram View Post
There was once a cowboy named Urgot
He didn't fit on a horse, because he's Urgot.
So he got a pet cat, named Roy.
Roy wore a cowboy hat.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RiotShiminerisa View Post
Muahahahahaha!
☆ On the night of September 16, 2012, Special Projects Manager Kry0 managed to score a gold medal at the North America Underground Beer Olympics for his specialty event, the super chug challenge. Having downed a liter of beer in 1.2 seconds, Kry0 unofficially set a new world record for fastest chug. Unfortunately, the aftereffect of his participation carried into his announcement of the new "Dominate Dominion" website the following afternoon. Kry0 remains however joyful and ecstatic about his victory in the midst of the biggest hangover of his beer chugging career.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Kry0 View Post
...DOMNIATE DOMINION...

☆ Player Support Lead WookieeCookie is rumored to be moonlighting as the leader of a top secret S & M Club in the depths of the underground levels of Riot NA Headquarters. Several anonymous Riot staffers and interns claim to have witnessed WookieeCookie dispensing "special treatment" to his fellow club members in the bowels of the Riot HQ underdark...

Attachment 531937

Quote:
Originally Posted by WookieeCookie View Post
Okay. Everyone else gets banned. You...

You get a paddlin'
☆ As part of Riot Games' classified science experiments, Sr. Concept Artist IronStylus trained a team of genetically enhanced super monkeys to play League of Legends and unleashed them into the game. Climbing to Platinum ranking with their excellent teamwork, these monkeys quickly gained a reputation for honorable game play for never responding to trash talk in /all chat. Game Designer Lyte is considering the use of these monkeys to psychologically gauge the inner workings of the human mind by transferring the memories of permanently suspended players into the monkeys' brains...

Quote:
Originally Posted by IronStylus View Post
TEAM MONKEY STYLUS GO!
☆ Art Director RiotNarya apparently won his much desired position through a competition among the staff for making the best plans for team coordination. RiotNarya rose to the top of the pack with his proposal that all disputes among the Art team be settled by hot oil wrestling. Subsequently many nubile interns from a local modeling agency were introduced as assistants in the Art Department, handpicked by RiotNarya in the annual Riot Games Wet T-Shirt Festival.

EDIT: Apparently RiotNarya is a dude. Feminine pronouns are now masculine. :P

Quote:
Originally Posted by RiotNarya View Post
You will not be let down.
☆ Kevin Costner was suggested at a recent directors' meeting as a new spokesperson for Riot Games' new map currently in development, which takes place in an aquatic environment. Art Director Zileas was vehemently opposed to this suggestion, going so far as to challenge the supporters to 1v5 ARAM with his precious collection of 1980s anime figurines on the line.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Zileas View Post
After how Waterworld went, there's no way we are doing this. Sorry, Kevin Costner, I really liked Robin Hood, and you are a gifted actor, but that was not your best film.
☆ Network Operations Sentinel Multra caused an uproar at the Riot offices the other day when he attempted to show off his new love for waxing. Multra subsequently knocked Technical Artist RiotVitzkrieg off the top runner pedestal for this month's "Sexiest Employee At Riot Games".

Quote:
Originally Posted by Multra View Post
Everyone at the office is jealous of my sexy legs.
Quote:
Originally Posted by RiotVitzkrieg View Post
Touché, I concede


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Uncle Funkbox

Senior Member

08-08-2012

i can confirm all of this


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Nano Shinonome

This user has referred a friend to League of Legends, click for more information

Senior Member

08-08-2012

Rumor had it that when Riot tried to mail Phreak his paycheck, the mailman had to search the jungle for hours to find his mailbox


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JohnnyOmega

Senior Member

08-08-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Nić View Post
Rumor had it that when Riot tried to mail Phreak his paycheck, the mailman had to search the jungle for hours to find his mailbox
investigated and added to original post

^.^


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Riot Taco Storm

This user has referred a friend to League of Legends, click for more information

Associate QA Lead

08-08-2012
1 of 9 Riot Posts

Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnnyOmega View Post
Post your gossip here, folks!
(Shhhh!)
☆ Associate QA Lead Riot Taco Storm entered a wet t-shirt contest in the local night club and received first prize for stripping down to his nipples.
Completely untrue. I didn't even make it to the semi-finals =/


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Tetramaster

Senior Member

08-08-2012

I heard something about Bitsplosion cooking up something nefarious in the basement.

Anyone got any more details?


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Pauleke

Senior Member

08-08-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Riot Taco Storm View Post
Completely untrue. I didn't even make it to the semi-finals =/
Stop being modest. You've got it, flaunt it.


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TheHatPerson

Senior Member

08-08-2012

tequila song?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xoLmeOBn4ck


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pearacus

Senior Member

08-08-2012

Rumor has it that lux takes steroids and is made out of silicone


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Dystructiv

Member

08-08-2012

Rumor has it Morello got tired of reading countless posts of how OP Darius is so he nerf'd Irelia...


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