I've done quite a bit of recreating in terms of Lore, and the Skill set. If you want to make comparisons involving the latter, i've moved the old skill set to a later post. If you're interested in this champion, let me know what you think.
Albaton is a champion that utilizes punches and wrestling moves imbued by the power of love. He fights for his wife, Sophia, and his style reflects that with majestic orange and magenta sparkle effects complementing a great deal of his character.
This is not exactly what you would call a serious character, but when have non-serious characters ever been a bad idea? With a champion like Veigar on the side of evil, I felt like the good guys needed their own ridiculous hero of righteousness.
Ability Power: 6
Health Regen 7.15(+.75)
Mana Regen: 6.5(+0.55)
Attack DMG: 55.5(+3.5)
Attack Speed: 0.625(+3.2%)
Magic Resist: 30(+1.25)
Movement Speed: 315
The body is more or less a combination of Alex Louis Armstrong from Fullmetal Alchemist with Hugo from Final Fight (Or Street Fighter 3rd Strike). Wavy hair, the kind of mustache that would serve as someone's mouth in a cartoon, large and muscular build.
Originally, I wanted the outfit to be formal pants, shoes, and a ring that one could assume is a wedding ring. However, i'm not sure what would qualify as formal wear in whatever age LoL takes place in. With that in mind, i'm leaning toward changing the pants to some sort of intricately designed armor. Or just more colorful pants. Something more fitting for his character. Being a very large man would probably inspire a golem-like alternate skin that replaces the flamboyant sparkling with electric jolts. Another idea for a skin that can be derived from the lore is a wedding-styled Albaton, properly dressed and utilizing more elegant sparkling in the colors of gold and silver.
The stance would be an old-timey gentlemen's boxing stance. He attacks by punching in an elegant, graceful manner. When a critical strike occurs, the punch would explode into a sparkly particle effect.
This is the new skillset, and it will have notable improvements over the old one. First, it will have a reliable initiation tool. Second, it will have a reliable way to properly utilize his passive. Finally, he needs something to mark him as a high priority target in the middle of teamfights. Here's what I got:
Passive: Gentlemanly Warfare - Albaton strikes with supreme grace, a truly remarkable sight. Striking an enemy champion inflicts them with Awestruck.
Whenever an Awestruck target hits an enemy other than Albaton, Albaton gains a stack of Gentlemanly Warfare, increasing attack damage by 4%. Awestruck lasts for 5 seconds after Albaton's first strike. Gentlemanly Warfare can stack up to 5 times and lasts 5 seconds.
The purpose of this ability is to allow Albaton to fulfill his role as a tank. If they ignore Albaton in favor of squishier targets, he will heavily increase his offensive power. The enemy team will have to decide who the more important targets are; the relatively easy to kill AD carry, or the big stompy Albaton who will do only slightly less damage but will be much harder to kill. 20% increase in damage is no laughing matter my friends.
Q: Loving Family Lariat - Albaton suddenly spins with great force, inflicting Awestruck and 40/55/70/85/100(+0.8AP)(+0.25AD) physical damage to nearby enemies. After the initial attack, he continues his whirling dance, increasing armor and magic resistance by 15/20/25/30/35 for up to 3 seconds. After the effect ends, he finishes his spin with a second lariat, inflicting Awestruck and 40/55/70/85/100(+0.8AP)(+0.25AD) physical damage to nearby enemies.
Albaton can reactivate the ability early to stop spinning, inflicting the second lariat immediately.
Mana cost - 50/60/70/80/90
Cooldown - 12-8 seconds
Duration - 3 seconds
Range - 300
The new version of Loving Family Lariat is now easier to use, less overpowered, and considerably more useful. This is Albaton's primary tool for spreading Awestruck to multiple opponents. It also grants a considerable boost to his defensive power when using it in the middle of angry people that don't like you. It can be used for crashing through resistance to get up close to an enemy, increase survivability running away, helping clear minion waves, and many other tasks that require the help of a champion. However, it is exceptionally useful when paired with this next ability...
W: Illustrious Form - Passive: Damage taken from Awestruck enemies reduced by 12/14/16/18/20%.
W: Illustrious Form - Active: Albaton flexes, displaying boundless courage and confidence for all to behold! All nearby enemies feel insignificant in comparison, suffering 80/110/140/170/200(+0.6AP) magic damage. Awestruck enemies hit with this ability take 25% more damage and are also silenced for 1/1.25/1.5/1.75/2 seconds.
Mana cost - 70/80/90/100/110
Cooldown - 14 seconds
Duration - 1/1.25/1.5/1.75/2 for silence
Range - 450
Illustrious Form is the lynchpin for Albaton's disruptive prowess. Using this ability in a crowd will spread Awestruck to all foes in the immediate vicinity, which brings us to the passive. The damage reduction against Awestruck enemies will drastically reduce the damage you take in the fray, giving you ample time to pursue high priority targets. The active is nothing to turn your nose up at either. By using Loving Family Lariat to great effect, Illustrious Form will have significantly increased damage and completely halt the enemy's momentum with widespread silence. However, the dastardly schemes of the enemy should never be underestimated. They will know that allowing you to cast Q in the middle of their team will result in vicious damage, so they will take measures to make sure you don't get close to their team. And that is why we have this next ability...
E: Majestic Charge - Albaton surges forth in a wondrous display of power! This ability knocks up minions, monsters, and pets as well as dealing 75/110/145/180/210(+0.6AP) physical damage to all targets hit. Hitting an enemy champion with Majestic Charge ends of the charge and stuns them for 1 second.
Mana cost - 50
Cooldown - 12/11.5/11/10.5/10 seconds
Duration - 0.75 seconds for spell shield, 1 second for stun
Range - Maximum of 475
Speed of Charge - 1050
This ability is Albaton's main tool for initiating a teamfight and closing the gap between you and that jerk with the ranged attacks, or the dangerous spells, or the functioning legs. Using this ability is versatile for both offensive and defensive tactics. You can ambush the enemy from the bushes, pass through walls with ease, initiate the teamfight on your terms, and even protect your friends from those horrible skillshots. A well timed Majestic Charge can save your life, save your friends, and bring horrible doom upon your enemies. But the ultimate is where Albaton truly brings his awesome wrath to bear...
R: Sophia's Embrace - Albaton is empowered by the precious memories of his beloved wife. He punches upward and unleashes a storm of manly power, dealing 150/275/400(+0.7AP) to and knocking up struck enemies for 1 seconds on impact. The manly storm starts out from the initial point, and slowly grows to larger proportions. Awestruck enemies inside the storm are slowed for 30/45/60% movement speed.
Mana cost - 100/150/200
Cooldown - 140/125/110
Range - Self-cast
AoE Diameter - 200 for initial cast, +40/50/60 storm growth every half second, 600/700/800 for final storm AoE range.
Duration - 5 seconds
Albaton's ultimate is a storm of unmatched manly power! Using this ability in the middle of an enemy team will highly disrupt their plans with an initial knock up, but it gets even better as time goes on. The range of the storm will increase as time goes on, encompassing a sizable portion of the battlefield. Should an enemy be Awestruck in this storm, their movement speed will be noticeably reduced. This ability is at it's strongest in the midst of their team, but such an ability has a great variety of uses, both offensive and defensive.
Playing as Albaton:
Loving Family Lariat gives Albaton a considerable boost in defensive bonuses. As such, it may be to good idea to let the spin run the full duration while under attack.
Illustrious Form is most effective when used in a crowd of Awestruck enemies. Initiate with Majestic Charge, then follow up with Loving Family Lariat across all targets to spread your passive.
Sophia's Embrace expands over a short period of time, becoming a very sizable deterrent. As such, using the ability from behind the enemy team may effectively cut off their escape route.
Playing against Albaton:
Albaton's passive abilities only affect you if he can land a hit on you. If you keep out of his range, he won't gain extra damage if you choose to go for softer targets.
Loving Family Lariat is his primary tool for spreading Awestruck, as it triggers on both the first and second hits. If you prevent him from getting in that second hit, he is much easier for your team to deal with.
If Albaton uses his ultimate, it will only do damage and CC the first time it hits you. If you put yourself in a position with multiple escape routes, his ultimate will have much reduced effectiveness against you.
First Attempt at Lore:
I wanted to write a second half of the story that involved him cutting ties with Noxus because he opposed their morally abhorrent tendencies, but I could not for the life of me figure out a way to write it in a compelling manner. I'd also like to give Albaton an opportunity to protect his wife, but I couldn't find anything that really worked. I tried three separate scenarios:
1. Having him join the Noxian invasion of Ionia, where he is confronted by Karma. Instead of fighting him, Karma talks to him about the importance of fighting for what he believes is right. He then defects from the Noxian military, sneaks into the city, and escapes with Sophia. Unfortunately, life on the road would make them easy targets for assassins so they travel to the Institute of War. Albaton pledges his service to the League as a champion in exchange for protection for his wife.
2. Having him return to Noxus from a grueling battle. He begins to have doubts about joining the military and decides to try and relocate his family far away from Noxus. But when he enters his house, he finds a note explaining that Sophia has been taken hostage by a member of Noxian High Command. If he wants his wife to remain unharmed, he'd have to fight on their behalf as a champion in the League. To ensure his wife's safety, he has no choice but to agree.
3. Having him return to Noxus from a horrific engagement. His unit was nowhere to be found, and Albaton is set up to look like a traitor. He could fight and try to escape, but surrenders instead with the intent of keeping them from going after Sophia. He's thrown in prison, and scheduled for execution at the hands of Draven. Just as all hope seems lost, he sees his wife in the crowds, teary-eyed and distraught and such. At that point Albaton basically goes super saiyan, knocks Draven off-balance, and breaks out of prison promising Sophia that he will make things right. He then decides that the League of Legends is his best option for clearing his name.
My biggest issue was finding a way to explain his story in a way that seemed consistent with the character's motivation and personality, and all three stories seemed gritty when compared to Albaton's ridiculous style. After reading Zarkhan's review, I realized a rather glaring flaw with how i've written it. Nowhere in the lore did I specify his powers, style, or how he distinguished himself as a champion. With that in mind, I looked at what I had and figured that I needed to do a complete overhaul. I'm rather proud of how it ended up.
In the militaristic city of Noxus, strength is a force unlike any other. In the hands of those willing to use it, strength can change their lives forever, for better or for worse. Those who have it could rise to greatness, no matter what. However, there are those few among the citizens of Noxus that ask the question; what of the weak? To Albaton Rocas, this is the question that he would one day come to answer. Having spent most of his life in Noxus' underground slums, he spent his early days surrounded by poverty. But where others took to thievery to survive, he shunned the life of crime in favor of becoming an honest man, a hero. Having earned his keep through contests of strength and lending help to all those who needed it, he became a local legend in the subterranean depths. Lawful men and thieves alike respected his power, and his efforts to become a person truly worthy of that power were met with praise and admiration from all sides...and in one case, love. On the day of Albaton's wedding, it seemed that half the people in Noxus had gathered to celebrate his marriage. When he looked out at the sea of faces cheering for him and his beloved wife, Sophia, he knew that his dream was realized. After all these long years, he had become a shining beacon of hope in a land that used to look so dark and menacing. He had become a hero of the people.
One day, a courier came to Albaton with startling news. His presence was requested by none other than the Hand of Noxus himself! Blessed with immense physical strength and tempered in years of hardship and labor, his peers had no doubt that the Albaton would one day leave this life behind to become one of Noxus' finest champions. But Albaton could not share that enthusiasm, for while they saw only fortune and glory, he saw only the faces of those he would be leaving behind. Those he broke bread with, those he gave aid to in their hour of need, those who helped him become the man he was today...and, of course, Sophia. How could he simply walk away from his friends and family? Not knowing what he would face, he bid Sophia a fond farewell and strode towards the surface; toward Noxian High Command.
It was here that Albaton met Darius, The Hand of Noxus. It appeared that Noxian High Command had taken notice of his exploits, and believed that Noxus could benefit from having a champion of the people among their ranks. His strength would lift him from a lowly commoner to one of the Noxian elite in an instant. As he contemplated the offer, images of his past came mind. Despite his success in becoming an inspiration to the people of Noxus, there were others with the same choices. So many sank to abhorrent methods to survive, while others died trying to stay honest men. It was then that he had his answer; he would rise to nobility, but he will not forsake the men and women who believed in him! With his new-found power and influence, he can fight injustice on a whole new level and lend his strength to all the common folk! As he gave his answer to Darius, it was clear that Noxus would require more than just his word. They would require his strength when the time comes...and when it does, Albaton will not hesitate.
"His choices were clear; He could rise to glory and leave the little people behind, or refuse and live out his days in quiet contentment. He chose to go for glory and to bring it back home."
Sophia, shortly after Albaton's return.
Champion Select - "By the power of love, we stand firm against any challenger!"
Moving - "With great purpose, I go forth!"
Moving - "Wait for me Sophia, I shan't keep you waiting long."
Moving - "I'll be there in but a few moments."
Moving - "Slowly, but surely."
Moving - "Family is the greatest treasure."
Moving - "Believe in your heart, and all is possible."
Moving - "So be it, I'm not one to argue."
Attacking - "You cannot hope to stand against me!"
Attacking - "Give me strength, Sophia!"
Attacking - "My fists burn with unbridled passion. Have some!"
Attacking - "Nothing personal, but you're in my way."
Attacking - "Sophia! To you I pledge this victory!"
Attacking - "This one is for the folks back home!"
Attacking - "May the best man win!"
Attacking - "The time for fisticuffs is upon us!"
Loving Family Lariat - "I spin myself right 'round, thank you very much!"
Loving Family Lariat - "The tumultuous gale of emotions!"
Loving Family Lariat - "Would you stand before the cyclone? Foolhardy!"
Illustrious Form - "Look upon me and know true strength!"
Illustrious Form - "Behold, I am the very model of a champion!"
Illustrious Form - "THIS is the form...of the inexorable hero!"
Majestic Charge - "With peerless grace!"
Majestic Charge - "You cannot stop me!"
Majestic Charge - "Prepare yourself!"
Sophia's Embrace - "Sophia, grant me strength!
Sophia's Embrace - "With all my heart!
Sophia's Embrace - "Believe in your heart, and NOTHING will stop you!"
Sophia's Embrace - "My heart rages with power!
Taunt - "When the fortune is spent, and the hateful heart consumes, Only love will truly sustain you!" Poses in heroic manner, sparkling.
Taunt - "I fight for my loving wife Sophia! Against such noble purpose, you cannot hope to face me!" Poses in heroic manner, sparkling.
Joke - "Look well and behold! The impeccable form of a- Flexes, but unleashes an overwhelming explosion of sparkle effects. At which point he begins coughing. - Egads! That's way too much!"
Joke - "You think to face me? The righteous champion of- Flexes, but unleashes an overwhelming explosion of sparkle effects. At which point he begins coughing. - Ah! Why do I keep doing that?!"
I was going for a champion with a style and personality that could be considered heroic, then fill it with a large dose of crazy, with a side of parody. Some could look at it and think of the righteous hero they've all been waiting for, others could think that he's a hilarious exaggeration that brings to mind old superhero comics back when superheros stood for truth, justice, and a complete disregard for the laws of physics.
It's by no means perfect, I don't even have the slightest clue on how to make the character, play style, and lore sync up nicely. But I really think a champion like this might be a pretty nifty addition to the roster.
7/16/12 Aside from a slew of crucial information being added to the mix, and the insertion of proper lore, I tweaked the numbers on Loving Family Lariat after revisiting the numbers on champions with similar abilities. My thanks to Zarkran for pointing out the issue with the damage and movement speed.
7/18/12 I have done a complete rework of the skillset, with in my opinion is a vast improvement from the former. It's quite different from the original, and it may even stand up to those in LoL's roster in terms of synergy. But I can only imagine I still have my work cut out for me.
7/20/12 I removed the 5 second cooldown reduction benefit from Majestic Charge, and removed the pullback from the Empowered Loving Family Lariat. The first change was due to an issue that occurs when taking CDR into account. The second was because the 70% slow was good enough, so the pullback seemed unnecessary. My thanks to Leo Tomita for his input.
7/21/12 I have made a plethora of changes suggested by Yahtz. He seemed to have quite the understanding of numbers and ratios, so i'm doubly grateful for his input.
10/26/12 I made a small change to the lore. Also, I have started work on a third champion. The second will be hitting the player concept forums in short notice.
10/28/12 I have made changes to the the tooltip on Sophia's Embrace, properly explaining the use of this ability. The slowing power of Empowered Loving Family Lariat has been modified to scale in level. Thanks to Varnoc for his input about ELFL, as well as Pobbes for his astute observation about the ultimate.
1/3/13 Nerfs across the board, removed certain variables from abilities, and gave Albaton a completely new ultimate. For those of you interested in making a comparison, the old ultimate will be at the fifth post at the bottom. My thanks to Dzanio for his input.
Nerf to Illustrious Form's active amplifier, my thanks to OuttaControl56 for his input.
3/30/13 Rescaled the passive on Illustrious form due to multiple takes of it being overpowered. Specifically, it has been changed from 6/12/18/24/30% to 12/14/16/18/20%.
Let me know what you think, whether it's bad or good, critique to take the story, issues with the kit, and so on, so forth. If you wish to look at my other champions instead you can find them at this index.
Every review helps, and i'd be more than happy to review your champions in exchange.
Passive; Hrm, that's an interesting concept, i'm not sure how that would be implemented though, and it also seems fairly weak against some champions (I;E Cho would just use vorpal spikes and then proceed not to give a ****) and then it's not a significant effect on many other abilities where they naturally have a long Cd and 2 seconds is not going to make a huge difference.
Personally, I would change it to a % cooldown reduction decrease debuff. The debuff would get stronger at certain levels, but it shouldn't exceed anything more than -20% cdr, and probably shouldn't last much more than 3 seconds. This allows champions to choose whether or not to cast abilities, and if they do, they'll suffer a delay in casting further spells (assuming negative cdr works)
Also; How long does the debuff last? I don't believe you ever mention that.
Q; Hrm, does this work with Riven's Q? or is it like a minor stun where he executes the combo on the targeted champion? Or is it his next three hits apply the effect? Also; what are the damage ranges. in other words; more information would be helpful
W; Hrm, ok, but again, you may want to add a damage component, or some other buff component.
E; Garen's spin on steroids. I see. Fine, but you may want to input the ms increases, and the damage components as well. And also note a max duration.. And a max number of spells blocked, or the time between spell blocks. Rendering a champion spell immune (as it reads when i read this) isn't exactly balanced.
R; As it reads right now, it's essentially Lee's sonic strike on steroids. Not a bad thing, not a great thing either.
Overall review; Well, i read through everything and wrote down my thoughts before I saw that you intentionally left out damage components etc.
I think this would make a good tank, as he is, although you do need to add in EC/damage etc
Also; His skill set and lore combine to make the champion rather.. rediculous, actually, to me it seems as though you could rename his abilities and make him a martial artist from ionia, significantly more boring, but it makes more sense (to my tastes) But then again, this is YOUR idea, so have fun with it.
There's also a guide filled with tips on creating champions, called
"Champion Creation Tips v3"
Read it, it'll help you a lot, and it certainly helped me a lot.
After reading this review, most of the things you mentioned could use improvement seem to be in giving more useful information for my skill set. I'll be the first to admit that skill creation is not my particular forte, but you make an excellent point about the passive. If it lasts for only one ability at a time, it would be severely underwhelming. A % cooldown increase might fix this problem in terms of power, but I think there may also be things to look at in terms of potency or rate of application.
Moving on to the active abilities, it seems one of the major flaws I have (in addition to what you've pointed out.) is in explaining the way in which these abilities could be used to best effect. I'll remedy this when I can get better information to dish out.
In regards to your statement about the lore and description, the style of champion i'm aiming for is one with a comically over-exaggerated devotion to the powers of love and believing in yourself and such. If he was an evil champion, it wouldn't be in the style of Swain or Morgana, he would be in the league of Veigar or Dr. Mundo.
Which as it turns out, the lore i've written seems to have left out one VERY significant component; His powers aren't mentioned in the slightest! He's in "peak physical condition" but that doesn't say anything about his style of combat. I'll have to rectify this as soon as I can.
Thanks for taking the time to review my work. This is my first attempt at a champion, as well as my first post, and it's good to get some feedback from someone vastly more experienced than I.
I'll get to work as soon as I can.
A great deal of people consider Noxus evil, but that depends on the perspective. From what I can tell, most Noxian heroes are either people from a life of hardship or battle hardened soldiers. That doesn't make them evil, but it certainly makes them ruthless. And even the definitely "evil" champions that people associate with Noxus seem like they've got heavier influence from Zaun. I'll admit, Sion does lend some credibility to the "Noxus being evil" thing, but he's also a zombie.
Funny enough, I was looking mainly at Garen's ability when I was devising the numbers. My comparison to Garen's damage per hit was assuming that Albaton did nearly twice the damage, but hit only half as much. This appears to be incorrect, and i'll be fixing this shortly. I'd prefer it to do a fair bit less damage than Garen's for the sake of having a very useful component to the ability.
(EDIT: Those of you who looked at my champion's skill set before 7/18/12 may have noticed that I've made a pretty hefty amount of changes, that's because there was an overwhelming flaw with the design behind my champions abilities. For those of you interested in making a comparison, here is the old skill set, along with my original reasoning behind it, and my reasons for remaking the entire thing:
WARNING: LOTS OF TEXT.
EDIT: Originally I left out a significant amount of information that left the abilities sounding quite vague and unwieldy. I have done quite a bit to rectify this, but the damage numbers are still mostly missing. I've yet to learn the proper calculations but I feel this was a major improvement.
I wanted to build a tanky character with abilities that focus on halting the enemy team's offense until the time to retaliate is at hand. His strengths are not so much dealing damage as it is taking damage potential away from the enemy team. Damage CAN be done when built for AD, but Albaton's ability to delay an enemy's plan of attack combined with the disruptive power of Impeccable Form will make him a high priority target. Or that is what I would say if I had the slightest clue what I'm doing. Here's what I had:
Passive: Splendid Strikes - Albaton's strikes are some of the most inspirational things you've seen this year. Striking an enemy champion inflicts them with Awestruck.
Using an ability when Awestruck increases the cooldown of that ability used by 15%. Lasts for 2 seconds or until the enemy uses an ability. Cannot affect the same target within 6 seconds of the first strike.
The purpose of this ability is to weaken the defenses of those bothersome burst damage types by increasing the time it takes to fully prepare that devastating combo. That heal will be delayed, that dash will come a second too late, and the stuns will not save them a second time.
Q: Exquisite Combination - Albaton prepares a glorious combination of strikes. His next three hits have bonus effects. The first and second strikes deal light bonus damage and 15/20/25/30/35% slow that lasts for 2 seconds. The third strike hits the target for moderate bonus damage, stunning them for 1 second and inflicting Awestruck on all enemies near the target.
Mana cost - 50
Cooldown - 12/11.5/11/10.5/10 seconds
Duration - 5 seconds, refreshes upon successful attack
Range - Melee, 200 for third strike
(Resets the auto-attack timer.)
This ability is great for punishing those who make the mistake of getting in melee range with you. The first and second punches slow the enemy and leave them vulnerable to your third strike. If that wasn't enough, it also spreads your passive to nearby enemies, which will give you a nice advantage thanks to this next ability...
W: Illustrious Form - Passive: Damage taken from Awestruck enemies reduced by 10/15/20/25/30%
W: Illustrious Form - Active: Albaton flexes, displaying boundless courage and confidence for all to behold! All nearby enemies feel insignificant in comparison, suffering moderate damage. Awestruck enemies hit with this ability take 10/20/30/40/50% more damage from Illustrious Form and are also inflicted with Starstruck, which silences the enemy for 0.4/0.8/1.2/1.6/2 seconds. For 5/6/7/8/9 seconds after using this ability, Albaton's attacks inflict both Awestruck and Starstruck. Starstruck cannot affect the same target within 4 seconds of the first strike.
Mana cost - 70
Cooldown - 14 seconds
Duration - 5/6/7/8/9
Range - 450
Illustrious Form is the lynchpin for Albaton's disruptive prowess. Using this ability in a crowd will spread Awestruck to all foes in the immediate vicinity, which brings us to his passive. The damage reduction against Awestruck enemies will drastically reduce the damage you take in the fray, giving you ample time to pursue high priority targets. The active is nothing to turn your nose up at either. By using Exquisite Combination to great effect, Illustrious Form will have signicantly increased damage and completely halt the enemy's momentum with widespread silence. And if that's not enough, the buff you gain allows you to relentlessly hamper the victims of your decisive combination, or contend with surprise attacks by inflicting that silence upon your assailants. "But wait!" you say, "In order to get optimum effect with W, you must use Q throughout to the full combination. And no competent enemy with any amount of CC will allow that!" True, but that is why we have this next ability...
E: Loving Family Lariat - Albaton spins with great force, increasing movement speed by 30/35/40/45/50 and dealing 30/55/80/105/120 damage nearby enemies every second for 5 seconds while active. After activating the Lariat, Albaton gains a shield that negates the next harmful spell cast at him. Triggering the spell shield will refresh the duration of Loving Family Lariat, but not the shield. Using this ability while the Lariat is active will end the Lariat and reduce the cooldown by an amount equal to the remaining duration. If the spell shield hasn't been triggered, ending the Lariat will cause it to explode into sparkles, inflicting Awestruck on nearby enemies.
Mana cost - 50/55/60/65/70
Cooldown - 15-10 seconds
Duration - 5 seconds, can be refreshed
Range - 250 for Lariat, 300 for spell shield explosion.
Loving Family Lariat can be used for multiple purposes. It can be used to chase down a retreating enemy. You can intercept enemy skillshot nukes to save your friends and feel heroic. You can use the spell shield for yourself and find yourself surprisingly not dead. You can put it on your sandwich to add some zest to an otherwise bland meal. But the most important component is ending it early to immediately spread your passive to the nearby enemies. Follow up with Illustrious Form and the enemy advance is halted. At that time you can visit their squishier targets with an Exquisite Combination and proceed to chase them down. With what exactly? Well...
R: Days of War - A majestic shout explodes from Albaton, launching a sonic blast. If it hits an enemy champion, it grants vision of the target, inflicts Awestruck (as well as Starstruck if used during Illustrious Form,) and allows Albaton to use Nights of Love.
Mana cost - 100
Cooldown - 100/85/70
Duration - 6 seconds
Range - 1125
R: Nights of Love - Albaton gains power from the precious memories of his beloved wife, and the children they hope to have some day! When a target has been hit by Days of War, Albaton can surge forth in a flash of light and crash into the enemy, inflicting 150/250/350 damage (+10% of current maximum health) to the main target. Nearby enemies receive 60/70/80% damage and are knocked up. If the target is Awestruck, enemies take 15% more damage from this ability. If the target is Starstruck, enemies take 30% more damage.
Mana cost - None
Cooldown - 100/85/70
Duration - None
Range - 450
Days of War/Nights of Love is unlike the rest of the abilities in terms of its damage. This ability is best used on a squishier target, but the shock value is equally as vital. By swiftly crashing into the enemy afar, you begin the rest of the battle on your terms. Will you assault a priority target with an Exquisite Combination, or do you intend to pile on the AoE damage with Loving Family Lariat? Succeed with either one and you can seize victory with a well positioned Illustrious Form!
I like to think at least 3 out of 5 of those could work, but I can't help but feel there's a synergy issue. Also, I left out information like cooldowns, damage numbers, mana costs, and other details because I haven't the slightest clue how to balance them well. (EDIT: I recently updated this post with a slew of new information, including but not limited to everything mentioned in the previous sentence. I've still got work to do but it's far better than it was previously. My thanks to Zarkran for requesting more information.) This is just how I would like the abilities to work.
7/17/12 EDIT: After taking a more thorough look at Albaton's kit and how to utilize it, I discovered two potentially fatal flaws with his design:
Firstly, his passive goes against the fast-paced style of LoL's gameplay. It unfairly hinders players for taking aggressive or retaliatory measures by increasing the cooldown of their abilities as a result of using them. This in turn discourages players from making bold choices by leaving them in positions of forced vulnerability. It punishes them for taking any action, which in my opinion makes him unfit for any LoL, or any other DOTA styled game.
And secondly, his kit does not have good synergy. His Illustrious Form (W) is meant to be used to follow up when spreading Awestruck to multiple targets, especially in a teamfight. However, that would rely on two unlikely events; successfully landing Exquisite Combination (Q) or Loving Family Lariat (E). Any enemy with CC and a reasonable understanding of strategy can interrupt Albaton's combo and stop him dead in his tracks. If he can't land the third hit, he can't spread his passive, which renders his Q useless. His E is just as bad, because that method relies on the enemy deciding to completely ignore him. The spread of Loving Family Lariat only happens if his spell shield isn't broken. If he's in the middle of the enemy team perhaps he could pull it off, but if he comes in from the side he doesn't have a ghost of chance. I considered improving his ultimate to also spread his passive, but having yet another ability doing that would be redundant and it wouldn't change the fact that his Q and E abilities are practically useless.
I'll have this fixed after some more research. I'm sorely tempted to accomplished this by using the same method I used for the lore; a complete overhaul. )
1/3/13 EDIT: Removed Albaton's previous ultimate, due to it being pretty much better than every other ultimate due to being able to do everything. Here's what it used to be:
R: Sophia's Embrace - Albaton is empowered by the precious memories of his beloved wife. This allows instantaneous use of one of his abilities and grants his next ability the unbridled power of true love at no cost. The ability you wish to use must be used within 10 seconds of activating Sophia's Embrace. This ability does not refresh the cooldowns of his regular abilities.
Mana cost - 100
Cooldown - 100/85/70
Duration - 10 seconds
Loving Family Lariat is empowered! The enemies hit by the initial lariat are slowed by 40/55/70%. After 3 seconds, his second lariat sends out a devastating shockwave that hits all nearby enemies for 150/275/400(+1.0AP) magic damage.
Mana cost - 0
Cooldown - 12-8 seconds
Duration - 3 seconds
Range - 450 for first, 600 for second.
Illustrious Form is empowered! After the initial burst of damage, Albaton continues to shine with awesome power! During this Albaton immune to all forms of CC and the effect of Illustrious Form's passive is doubled for 4/5/6 seconds.
Mana cost - 0
Cooldown - 14 seconds
Duration - 2 for slow, 1/1.25/1.5/1.75/2 for silence, 4/5/6 seconds for ultimate
Range - 450
Majestic Charge is empowered! Upon colliding with an enemy champion, Albation punches his target into the air and brings them back down with a resplendent pile driver. The initial punch deals 75/110/145/180/210(+0.6AP) physical damage (depending of the level of Majestic Charge) while the pile driver damages all targets in the impact zone (including the initial target) for 125/250/375(+0.6AP) physical damage. If no other champions are hit, the victim of the pile driver is stunned for an addition 0.5 seconds and takes 250/375/500(+0.6AP) physical damage instead.
Mana cost - 0
Cooldown - 12/11.5/11/10.5/10 seconds
Duration - 0.75 seconds of spell shield, 1.5 seconds for uppercut/pile driver combo, 2 for single-target stun.
Range - Maximum of 700 for the charge, 250 for the pile driver
Speed of Charge - 1000
Albaton's ultimate is one of three super-powered versions of his lesser abilities. These three abilities are best used in different situations, and what you pick will have explosive results if you picked wisely. Loving Family Lariat is meant for dealing heavy AoE damage right out the gate. This gives your team a significant advantage if you hit multiple champions. Illustrious Form on the other hand, is a primarily defensive tool. Allowing you to sustain disastrous amounts of damage while preventing you from being locked down by CC. This does not mean it is a bad choice for offense, as taking little to no damage allows you to chase down your target with ease. Perfect for shutting down a carry that cannot escape. Majestic Charge is an ability best used to single out a priority target and inflict massive amounts of damage to the squishier champions. Whether you wanna get that bothersome carry out of the way or put their assassins out of commission, this is your tool for the job. By having such dangerous ways to turn the tide of battle to his favor, enemies would be foolish to ignore a force like Albaton.
After reading through your long post I must say this is a quite good champion idea with many unique features. My favorite aspect of this champion is his powerful 3 in one ultimate, instead of a standard ultimate you can choose between ultimate "empowered" versions of his three standard abilities.
The Gentlemanly Warfare passive ability is odd but unique, it struck me as OP at first but as long as awestruck only lasts for a short period of time then it is manageable.
People playing against this champion are going to hate him for his W ability, it is essentially a mega-taunt. I have a feeling that R+E is going to terrorize unprepared teams.
Here's an abridged version of all the skills:
*Q Spin attack
*W Hugely disruptive super taunt
*R Ultimate version of one of the three abilities
As for Albaton's appearance, I think you should go for a wedding tuxedo, modern suit, or something else in the modern style. I disagree with the idea that everything in LoL has to be medieval style, especially for a less serious champion who can maybe bend the rules of lore a bit more.
the First thing i do when start to review some champ, is to take a quick look on the skills AND i couldnt help myself thinking about Garp from One Piece and the God Dammit Alexander Louis Armstrong my favorite character from Fullmetal Alchemist...only when i finished read the skills i read the whole post and for my "surprise" his appearance according to you IS like Armstrong!!!...
besides the fact that a also loved the skill set, Lore, and so on...
so lets start this....
Passive: Gentlemanly Warfare no words to describe this skill...the awesomeness is AWESOME!! 105% skill...you only need a Icon...fits him perfectly greatly ....PERFECT JOB here man!!!
Q: Loving Family Lariat does this skill works like Hecarim rigth?..press once= one spin..press twice double the spinnig...for double success!!! i was buggin you about the 8 seconds cooldown but then i realize the this skill doesnt have AD or AP ratio...so its fine by me...
W: Illustrious Form maybe 30% reduction is a little too much from awestruck enemies in my opinion..
I FUDGING LOOOOVE THE ACTIVE PART OF THIS SKILL!!!!! trully remarcable mechanic...FUN ...fitable...balanced...the whole pack....
plus! i would add another thing! FEAR on minions around him! because Albaton awesomeness scare pitty weak fool creatures!!
E: Majestic Charge "FERPECT" skill...or almost...1000 MS is too high...specially when block a skill reducing 5 seconds on it...
for example...Albaton with 40% cd reduc...Majestic Charge will have 6 seconds cooldown rigth? what if he blocks a spell from runaway champs? 6 - 5 = 1 second!...thats too much power for one dude...even when the dude is awesome as he is!!!
my thought here is...add 60% MS bonus or something...and remove or rebalance the 5 seconds reduction...or if successfully block a spell increase the stun a little
(in my opinion let the 1000 ms when the ult is activated)
R: Sophia's Embrace excelent skill here too...cooldown, mana, duration....lets talk about the enpowered skills
Loving Family Lariat is empowered agreed with the 70% slow! didnt agree with the pullback part....agree with the increase range of effect...did not agree with the amount of bonus damage...could be low a little
Illustrious Form is empowered this could sinergy with the other skills enormously...receive 60% less damage while pulling back enemies...()...or ....get imune to CC and run tha ****out to get thy fools who dare stand in your path!....nothing to add here...great job
Majestic Charge is empowered now here i agree with the 1000 ms....the piledrive part i didnt quite understand...could you please make me a example?
AMAZING lore well written...remember one thing...i am not american...but this lore was so well written that i almost cry...who would imagine a good man, a honest man ...coming from Noxus!!!
great quotes from him..
overall what a great champ
i wonder HOW Albaton would look like if he comes to life!
Alright, got some great reviews here, I'll try to address some concerns to the best of my ability...
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