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The Official Puns Thread

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DOTAmakesMeLOL

Senior Member

09-01-2010

since the basketball one was taken, ill hav to take one from zil

"time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana!"


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iToadstool

Senior Member

09-02-2010

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.


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Second to None

Senior Member

09-02-2010

Camping is intense.


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Tony Lewis

Senior Member

09-02-2010

I knew the dollar was fake because it didn't make any sense.


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Bealzibob

Senior Member

09-03-2010

Seriously guys these are cringe-worthy, you should all be punished.

Ok... how about this one...

A man, told ten horrible pun jokes to his friends, but none of them made the friends laugh. No pun in ten did.


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Astronautical

Senior Member

09-03-2010

Why do all Marxists drink imitation tea? Because all proper tea is theft.


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Deathbedeli

Senior Member

09-03-2010

Quote:
Bealzibob:
A man, told ten horrible pun jokes to his friends, but none of them made the friends laugh. No pun in ten did.


Oh dear god...


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Seventh777

Member

09-03-2010

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7FDpaNtAxo


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Malzabear

Senior Member

09-03-2010

Quote:
Bealzibob:
Seriously guys these are cringe-worthy, you should all be punished.

Ok... how about this one...

A man, told ten horrible pun jokes to his friends, but none of them made the friends laugh. No pun in ten did.

I love you.


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Kushmeyer2

Member

09-04-2010

Courtesy of my furry little friend the punny raccoon.
The illiterate fisherman was lost at C.

The bike couldn't stand on it's own, it was two tired.

Without geometry, life is pointless.

I took a karate class just for kicks.

People who plug their keyboards into their hi-fi systems aren't idiots. That would be stereotyping.

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

A hole was found in the nudist colony wall. Police are looking into it.

Did you hear about the man who was hit by a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.

1000 pairs of underwear were stolen. Police are having a brief inquiry.

Energizer bunny arrested; charged with battery.

Golfers have 2 pairs of pants in case they get a hole in one.

I give my dead batteries away. Free of charge, of course.

The frustrated cannibal threw his hands up.

Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

The shoe said to that hat, "You go ahead, I'll follow on foot."

An invisible man married an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

Did you hear about the man whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

She didn't like her masseuse, he rubbed her the wrong way.

He avoided funerals, he wasn't a mourning person.

5000 hares have escaped from the zoo, police are combing the area.

I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.

He said I was average, but he was just being mean.

If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.

The skiing competition started poorly and went downhill from there.

You know a clock is hungry when it goes back four seconds.

Atheism, a non-prophet organization.

The train stopped with a jerk and you got off. *childish giggle*




Okay I'm all out.


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