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The Dragon Lady's Relationship Advice and Love Counseling (Open RP)

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Ask the Monkey

Senior Member

04-17-2012

''Seems he left empty-handed''
*epic drum roll*


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Ask Talon

Member

04-17-2012

Talon smashes a chair into Wukongs face before setting it back down

You deserved that.


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AskUdyr

Senior Member

04-17-2012

"If we were completely bestial we would try mounting every single female that moved, akin to Talon." Udyr grunted, "If we were completely bestial, that would mean we either eat our young or become attached to it. Since we do not think eating a child is high on our list of priorities, that means we would have to care for a child. We grew up alone in the forest and then we were trained and raised by an order of old monk men. It has never been an issue."

His face was still touching the floor, "And he infers we are her..."Boyfriend." We are not a boy, we are a man. What stupidity. We believe we are digging our own grave at this point in time, despite us respectfully speaking to Omen. Thus our problem: We are not sure how the grave was dug in the first place. You know our ambition is to claim the heavens, to gain ultimate power. Children are not in the equation."

Udyr turned and faced Shyvana, "Why is it so strange to be on colloquial terms with someone of the opposite gender? It is as if we are expected to mount anyone in our good standing simply because we do not slaughter them on sight. It is moronic."


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Ask the Monkey

Senior Member

04-17-2012

Wukong moves the chair and shakes his head.
''Finally, you are growing out of your skirt!!! Maybe when you grow up and become a strong woman you can fight me. Although, I doubt you will survive till then if you don't pay the damage you did to Shyvana's chair.''


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Ask Talon

Member

04-17-2012

It takes a man to wear a skirt.


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Ask the Monkey

Senior Member

04-17-2012

Wukong slowly moves back to the door. ''Uh, if I were you I would get out. The dragon doesn't seem to like property destruction. I salute your bravery, but I am sad you will be eaten. Good luck backstaber.''


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FilFire

Senior Member

04-17-2012

"Must be her human blood. A normal dragon doesn't care for something like a chair."


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Ask Talon

Member

04-17-2012

Odd that he thinks the chair I'm sitting in is broken. Shyvana knows better than to buy cheap furniture when champions are involved.


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Ask Shyvana

Senior Member

04-17-2012

Shyvana shook her head at Talon... then had to control her temper upon seeing what he did to her chair.

"I advise you to pay for that. Fifteen silver." Shyvana said flatly.

She listened to Udyr, and let out a somewhat irritated noise as she tried to best summarize what she wanted to say.

"You're not expected to... mount everything." Shyvana said. "But humans are... they're pack animals. They function best as a group. But unlike... unlike bees, with one female and hundreds of males, or like... lions, with one male and a dozen females, humans evolved from primates. And primates have always been animals that mate for life. It's basic instinct. The human desire to do that is simply that instinct, civilized."

Shyvana took a moment to regroup, and let out a brief, satisfied chuckle. Huh, maybe she WAS good at this.

"I don't know what you did to Omen's daughter to make her think you're a couple." Shyvana said. "Did you buy her a meal? Kiss her hand? Tell her she looks nice? Tell her she looks even nicer that one day she forgot her makeup? Duel for her honor?"

Shyvana was definitely betting on the latter.


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Ask Talon

Member

04-17-2012

My apologies for the chair Shyvana. I've had a short fuze for idiocy today.