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I always thought that was #2.

Nope, it's #1

#2 is that Jax is only allowed to bring a brass lamppost into the field of justice.

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Senior Member


Lee Sin v. Jax: Who would win?

Neither. Jesse Perring would.

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Lee Sin v. Jax: Who would win?

Neither. Jesse Perring would.

Ashram would like to have a word with you.

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El Killer Duck

Senior Member


Singed smeard some of his Mega Adhesive onto the inside of Pantheon's shield. He looked at Teemo, "Are you ready?" he asked the timid scout.

"Yes sir!" came the jovial and animated response Pantheon had been looking for.

Singed picked up the small furry champion and affixed him on the inside wall of Pantheon's shield. A giggle mixed with a hearty laugh echoed around the three. Not much flustered the cold and calulating chemist of Zaun, but something about it sent a chill up Singed's spine.

Pantheon strode into lane lauging menacingly all the way.

Irelia and Pantheon traded blows regularly, but there was something about how Pantheon's grin was clearly visible, even under his helmet.

"Has Teemo come out of the base yet!?" Cried Soraka, Irelia's ally, from the bot lane.

As if on cue, Pantheon opened his shield during his Hearseeker strike, and a barrage of darts showered over the Will of the Blades.

"First Blood!" The announcer declared. Pantheon's hearty laugh could be heard around the rift.

"HEY!! That isn't fair!! You can't use bonding materials" Irelia shouted after she respawned.

"Correction, I'm not allowed to HANDLE bonding materials. Singed put it on my shield for me," Pantheon replied.

"Scumbag Pantheon," Irelia muttered.

Regulation #105a (addendum): Pantheon is not allowed to UTILIZE any bonding materials within the Fields of Justice.

Regulation #734: Singed is not allowed to use his Mega Adhesive on allied champions within the Fields of Justice.

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The entire team laid fallen, and Shyvana was on the brink of death. Breathing heavily, Shyvana’s vision was beginning to fade to black as her body began to shut down. Suddenly, the form of Jarvan IV’s worried face appeared in her vision.

“M-my liege…” Shyvana whispered. Jarvan shushed her.

“Don’t worry, Shyvana. It will be over soon.”

The Half-Dragon wondered at her liege’s words, before realizing that her team had just called a surrender vote. Quickly casting a vote for no, she looked to her liege, who had never looked more depressed than now. His summoner had summoned him for the first time, and ended up giving the enemy free kills. Just as her liege cast his vote, her hands reached out and grabbed his face. Bringing his ear closer to her mouth, she then began to sing.

“O Stalwart and Earnest State”

Jarvan’s hands went slack as the song penetrated his brain.

“We shall ever rise”

“With flames burning in our breast”

“We charge the enemy!”

Shyvana quickly swallowed to allow herself some air.

“Demacia, Demacia”

“May your strength never fail thee”

“And your crusade shall never fade”

“For now and forever!”

As Shyvana’s hands fell off, Jarvan grabbed and squeezed her hand. “S-Shyvana…”

The half-dragon smiled up to her liege. “Do what you feel you should, my liege.”

With that, the last drops of life bled out.

“An ally has been slain!”

The prince of Demacia sat there, holding Shyvana’s hand, until another announcement broke his reverie.

“Your team has lost a tower!”

With that, Jarvan decided.

“Such an easy victory…” Sion sneered as he chopped at the inhibitor.

“Mundo thinks Demacians get soft!” Mundo said as his cleaver bit into the inhibitor.

Talon, Swain and Viktor said nothing.


Talon’s ears picked up something. “Do you hear that?"


Jarvan dropped onto the group, creating a ring of earth and squishing Talon and Viktor under his feet. As the group watched, Jarvan slowly stood up straight, revealing his nude upper body. His chest hair was shaped in the Demacian emblem. The Prince of Demacia brandished his dual lances… and roared as he leapt into battle. The group charged in as well, seeing it as a 3 vs 1, with the odds in their favor.

The battle didn’t go well…for the enemy team that is.


“You call that breaking Mundo’s spine? Mundo says-“



“An enemy has been slain!”

Sion leapt into battle, Chopper eager to chop into flesh. Jarvan swung one of his lances. Chopper’s head flew off. Sion stopped, and immediately broke down as he held the broken pieces of his beloved axe.


With that, Sion hugged the broken pieces, rivulets of tears flowing down his cheeks.

“An enemy has been emotionally incapitated!”

Swain gulped as he flattened against the walls. Jarvan now noticed him and was advancing towards him. The Master Tactician of Noxus devoted all his brain power to devising an escape plan.

“Think logically for one second!”



Regulation #310: Jarvan will not hear the Demacian national anthem while in the Fields of Justice.

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It was a complete disaster. All the lane turrets have been demolished, and 3/5s of their team was dead. The worst part? It wasn't even the ten minute mark.

Graves and Ahri was all that remained as they desperately tried to defend their base from the enemy onslaught. They took cover behind the mid inhibitor turret, peeping out and taking potshots at whoever they can get.

"You alright over there, fox?" Graves asked as he reloaded his shotgun.

Ahri was breathing hard as her Orb of Deception returned to her. "I'm running low on mana. Not too sure how long I can stay."

Graves peeked, before shooting a bunch of buckshot into the minion wave, leaving Twisted Fate to take the tower fire.

"Has everyone respawned yet?"

Ahri quickly checked the scoreboard.

"Yeah, everyone's here."

Graves nodded, as he cocked his shotgun.

"Good, take everyone and circle around them."

Ahri turned to him.

"What about you?"

Graves held up his shotgun and cocked it.

"Are you insane? You'll be killed!"

Graves smirked.

"Don't worry fox. I've had these kind of odds before. Now get moving!"

Ahri sat still, before hugging Graves.

"Just stay safe, okay?"

Graves sat there, before wrapping one arm around her.

"It's the only I do well, fox."

With that, Ahri ran back, preparing to execute the plan. Graves sighed deeply, before getting up.

"Alright, Malcolm... Let's show them some frontier hospitality!"

Malcolm Graves came out with guns blazing.

10 minutes later...

The nexus blew up, but Twisted Fate, Cassopeia, Sejuani, and Rumble weren't concerned about that. They were trying to keep some distance away from Kog'maw, who was having another bout of vomiting.

Regulation #501: Kog'maw will not be allowed to participate with any kind of disease.
Corollary #125a: ...especially with Stomach Flu.

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It was quiet in Summoner's Rift. Too quiet.


The entire minions ran as fast as their little legs could. Rammus was rolling so fast, Sonic would have been jealous. Tryndamere had ditched his sword completely. Twitch was nowhere to be seen. LeBlanc tried to run as fast as she could in her heels.

The reason? On their heels was Heimerdinger, riding the ugraded platform towers, with legs.


Regulation #103: Heimerdinger will not be allowed to upgrade the towers.

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Senior Member


"Run!" Yelled out nocturne to his teammates as he ran away from fiddlesticks and swain.
The group(temmo, shyvanna, katarina and garen) ignored him as they charged.


Regulation no. 3: Swain and fiddlestiks are not allowed to combine swains w and fiddles ultimate.

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The heavens trembled. The seas roared. The thunder cracked. Champions of all shapes and sizes cowered. The summoners of the Institute of War could only wait, as the place shook.

"YAAA!!!" Wukong, the Monkey King, screamed.

"RAH!!!!" Tryndamere, the Barbarian King, raged.

"DEMACIA!!!" Garen, the Might of Demacia, shouted.

For that day, all creation stood still, as they bore witness to this mighty challenge.

Regulation #2: Garen, Wukong, and Tryadamere will not be allowed to have "Spin-to-win" contests.

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It should have been an easy victory. 4 of the enemy team were slain, all their turrets were destroyed and a veritable army of minions were baring down.

It was surely the end.

As Jarvan, Sona, Zilean, Ziggs, and Maokai reached the Nexus, they saw Udyr standing there. He stared at them, the defiant rock against the insurmontable wave. Preparing their assault, the team stopped. Music was playing, and Sona wasn't playing. In fact, it sounded like an entire orchestra. As the music mounted, they looked at Udyr.

Udyr stared at his glowing fist, before staring at the enemy team.

"This hand of ours burns with a mighty power. It's roar calls for triumph!!!"

Udyr now reared back, preparing to punch.


Udyr punched the air, creating a giant glowing fist the size of a building. Straight at the awe shocked group.

"HOLY-" Jarvan didn't get to finish, as the blast obilterated the team, the army, the turrets, the inhibitors, and the Nexus.

Udyr stared at the giant crater before him, before going off to find a giant ledge to roar trumpiantly from.

Regulation #9: Udyr will never use his ultimate in a match.