Legacy Of The Void

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Requeim

Junior Member

04-10-2012

This story seems intriguing. Keep up the good work!
...The monsters seem to remind me of DAMONs


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brADyHD

Member

04-10-2012

Uhh... Legacy of the Void is Blizzard's StarCraft II Protoss expansion...


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Ask Vayne

Senior Member

04-14-2012

Chapter 4 Posted.

I actually didn't realize that fact about SC2 until you mentioned it. Interesting....

Also, I decided to give a lot more backstory to the characters that are ultimately going to be included in this story. Reason being that, lets face it, the whole I'm an arrogant girl trying to prove my skill after my father ruined my reputation story is pretty lame. Rather than the classical depictions of Fiora being a snobby aristocrat, I decided to mix things around with the different characters. Let me know if you like it.


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Icarax88

Senior Member

04-16-2012

As a creative writer myself, I must say this is a really fascinating story, and I can't wait for Chapter 5.

There are only a couple things I have to say to "critque" it though. The Voidborn that Fiora and Lux first encountered share their name with Kassadin's title, the Void Walker.

Also, I'm not the biggest fan of Swain and LeBlanc being possessed or whatever they are, as I feel it would spice things up knowing that each Champion is still themselves as the darkness of the Void closes in around them and how each of them deal with it, but that's just my personal preference.

Then I'm not entirely fond of how Caitlyn was introduced. I thought she was the type to track down criminals herself, as oppose to leading a small army from a meeting room or something. Also, her attire doesn't seem to match what she "usually" wears.

Apart from those minor things, excellent work. Little to no spelling errors even in such a large amount of text like this; that's very impressive. I also like how you portray the characters, and it's an interesting thing on what you did with Fiora. As said, can't wait for the next chapters, and hopefully the Void-based guys (Cho'Gath, Kog'Maw, Kassadin, and Malzahar) will play a significant role (was kind of hoping for them to show up in the first few chapters).

This actually kind of entices me to create my own LoL fanfic, though I already made 40 pages worth of mini-fanfics when creating my own Champions XD. Will have to post them sometime...
Anyways, again, awesome story and looking forward for more.


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Ouroborous HD

Senior Member

04-20-2012

this fanfic deserves more attention keep writing and i will be attempting to spread the word and i am now considering taking up my pen once more and writing some fanfic


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Ask Vayne

Senior Member

04-22-2012

Author's Note: Chapter 5 posted.

@Icarax88: I was actually thinking about the issue with Caitlyn as well, but ultimately I decided to introduce her this way because the alternative I felt would actually have made even less sense once more of the plot is revealed. Basically, with what's going to happen, it wouldn't make sense that only one person would be recruited to investigate, even if it is Caitlyn. Also, as for her attire, I changed her attire cause... well lets face it, it would seem really fake to have a girl dressed like a porn star stand in front of a unit of elite soldiers to be taken seriously. Thanks for the feedback though.

@darkzero1, thanks, appreciate the props.


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Ask Vayne

Senior Member

05-01-2012

Author's Note: Chapter 6 Posted

The truth comes out. Let me know what you think of this plot twist. More details to follow in the next chapter.


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Ask Vayne

Senior Member

05-04-2012

Author's Note: Chapter 7 Posted.

As I said early on, I figured I could do so much to expand the lore behind Valoran. Coincidentally, Riot released a Journal of Justice this week just hours after I posted the previous chapter about the whole Institute being a conspiracy so I decided to incorporate that into the stuff I had previously already written for Chapter 7.


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Ask Vayne

Senior Member

05-16-2012

Author's Note

Chapter 8 posted.


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Requeim

Junior Member

05-17-2012

Man, Ezreal's dead!?
I hope Shen won't suffer the same fate...please


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