[STORY/CHALLENGE] My Talks with the League

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Edasich

Senior Member

02-24-2012

Jarvan IV

Issun: You must be Jarvan IV, right?
Jarvan IV: His highness, Crown Prince Jarvan Lightshield IV, Exemplar of Demacia. I am he, summoner.
Issun: I'll take that as a yes. Now, to start this interview, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Jarvan IV: I stand resolutely amidst large gatherings of people. I also love watching opera; it bears a majestic air not found in other entertainment forms.
Issun: I see. What do you like about the League of Legends?
Jarvan IV: I do so relish times of peril on the Fields of Justice. Every time I endure brings more honor and respect for Demacia and its people.
Issun: Okay. What about whenever you don't endure?
Jarvan IV: Then at the least, I know that those who stand beside me can finish what I start.
Issun: That seems reasonable. What do you dislike about the League?
Jarvan IV: The nagging suspicion that your Institute of War heavily favors the demons of Noxus.
Issun: Being just a summoner, I don't have much say in what goes on within the High Council, so I wouldn't know for sure. Maybe you're just being paranoid.
Jarvan IV: Awareness and paranoia are divided by only a thin line, summoner. You must know where that line is.
Issun: I'll keep that in mind.
Jarvan IV: You had best.
Issun: Now, then, do you miss anyone in your homeland?
Jarvan IV: I think nothing of it, as I regularly travel to Demacia to see my people. They welcome me with open hearts as I do them.
Issun: I'll bet. Royalty must really have its perks.
Jarvan IV: Perhaps, but with that great power comes even greater responsibility, responsibility that I must never squander.
Issun: I see. Moving on, what's your favorite food?
Jarvan IV: A fair portion of carbonara will do nicely.
Issun: What about a color?
Jarvan IV: Midday silver and goldenrod.
Issun: Okay. Who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Jarvan IV: In what sense?
Issun: Any sense.
Jarvan IV: Then I draw attention to the self-proclaimed enlightened one, Karma. What does she see that leads her so far from Demacia's convictions?
Issun: Who knows? Maybe you should ask her yourself.
Jarvan IV: Whatever she sees, at least I can rest easy knowing she is my ally.
Issun: Okay. To finish this interview, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Jarvan IV: Until I am no longer needed, which would be either the day I die or the day my people triumph once and for all. As Exemplar of Demacia, I must stand forever a shining example for my people to follow, both on and off the battlefield.
Issun: Good words to live by.
Jarvan IV: And words that all who behold me must one day do likewise.
Issun: Thanks for letting me interview you.
Jarvan IV: You are most welcome, summoner. You now have my leave to go.


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Edasich

Senior Member

02-24-2012

Renekton

Renekton: (enraged snarl)
Issun: Look. I'm sorry you have to wear that muzzle, Renekton, but I'd rather not get eaten or ripped to shreds today. You understand, right?
Renekton: (growl) Enjoy that smugness while you can, summoner, because this thing cannot contain me forever.
Issun: All the more reason to make this quick, then. To start, what do you like to do in your spare--?
Renekton: (swings his arm blade at Issun's head, barely missing his nose)
Issun: (leans back to avoid Renekton's arm blade) YOWZA! (stands upright) Good answer. I probably shouldn't ask what you like about the League of Legends, should I?
Renekton: What would I like about a place where I stay against my will except for the chance to slaughter my ingrate brother, Nasus, again and again?
Issun: I suppose that also answers my next question, which would be "What do you dislike about the League?"
Renekton: Exactly.
Issun: Now, then, do you miss anyone in your homeland?
Renekton: I can tell you whom I do not miss: Nasus. He vanished before we could settle our score once and for all, and I will make sure he pays!
Issun: That capture spell that originally brought him here was actually meant for you. You know that, right?
Renekton: (growl)
Issun: Well, moving on, what's your favorite food?
Renekton: Anything that moves. And breathes.
Issun: ...Uh, okay. How about a color, then?
Renekton: Moss green. Or was that not obvious enough?
Issun: I see. Who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Renekton: If you mean any sense in general, I suppose I would mention Tryndamere the "Barbarian King". He brags and boasts of his mastery of rage, but he has yet to embrace it as I have.
Issun: Really?
Renekton: Yes. Rage is not a shield with which to feign invincibility, but a blade with which to slay all before it.
Issun: Okay, uh...to finish this interview, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Renekton: Until you summoners loose me to settle my feud with Nasus once and for all! We do not need your interference.
Issun: Well, thanks for letting me interview you, and I {panicky upon seeing the muzzle start to break} just remembered that I have something to take care of, so bye! (runs off in a hurry)
Renekton: You can run, but you cannot hide! (breaks free of the muzzle and starts chasing Issun) (enraged roar)


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Zakur the Bright

Senior Member

02-24-2012

You are awesome XD I didn't think that Xerath would be less aggressive than Nautilus. Overall though, I would say bravo. Awesome interviews!


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Edasich

Senior Member

02-25-2012

Cassiopeia

Cassiopeia: {sultry} Summoner...
Issun: Uh, hi, Cassiopeia.
Cassiopeia: Do what you came to accomplish. You have my full attention.
Issun: Okay. Now, to start this interview, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Cassiopeia: More or less the same thing I always do: clothes shopping. Such a shame that I can't find many clothes that fit me.
Issun: I can imagine why. Not many shops can accommodate your...uh, figure.
Cassiopeia: Go figure. No pun intended.
Issun: Yeah. It would've been pretty lame anyway. Now then, what do you like about the League of Legends?
Cassiopeia: That I can slither around here without worrying about anyone calling me a freak. You know what that's like, right?
Issun: I'm not part snake, so I don't think so. But you do have a point; lots of creatures here would be called freaks just about anywhere else in Runeterra.
Cassiopeia: And oh, how it pains me to think about that.
Issun: I guess that answers my next question, which would've been "What do you dislike about the League?"
Cassiopeia: Not even close. Sometimes, if someone doesn't call me a freak, he or she runs to me and stares uncomfortably at me. I'm not that unusual, am I?
Issun: Not really, I'd imagine. Certainly not compared to some of the other champions here.
Cassiopeia: ...
Issun: Moving on, do you miss anyone in your homeland?
Cassiopeia: Who's there to miss except those who are already dead?
Issun: I see. By which, you mean your father, right?
Cassiopeia: Yes. The only one of my sisters who ever cared about me is Katarina, and she's already here.
Issun: Okay. So, what's your favorite food?
Cassiopeia: Pork chops. And before you ask, no, I do not eat mice!
Issun: All right. How about a color?
Cassiopeia: Tyrian purple.
Issun: I see. Now, who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Cassiopeia: I suppose I'd have to mention Ahri and Miss Fortune. They both enjoy lines of work involving certain...talents that I pride myself in. I suppose I'd better step up my game if I'm to compete with them.
Issun: I think I see what you're getting at. And sorry; I'm taken. Can't blame you for wanting me, though.
Cassiopeia: I never gave any such thought.
Issun: Well, to finish this interview, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Cassiopeia: Until I exact vengeance on those responsible for killing my father.
Issun: Wait. General Du Couteau's dead?
Cassiopeia: He has been since before I became the horrid monster I am now.
Issun: I don't think you're so horrid.
Cassiopeia: You don't?
Issun: No, but that's irrelevant for now. Thanks for letting me interview you.
Cassiopeia: Uh, sure. Whatever...


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Edasich

Senior Member

02-25-2012

Karthus

Issun: Uh, I suppose you're Karthus, correct?
Karthus: ...I am...
Issun: Okay. Now, to start off, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Karthus: Singing of the lives of others...as they once were...
Issun: Really?
Karthus: Yes...
Issun: Okay. What do you like about the League of Legends?
Karthus: The pain I can freely inflict upon others. Their screams of agony...are a symphony I ever so relish.
Issun: I see. What do you dislike about the League?
Karthus: Too often...you summoners ask me of my time before coming here. What more do you need to know...than that I am here to fight as I please?
Issun: I suppose that means you don't miss anyone in your homeland, then?
Karthus: What is a homeland? A small patch of dirt...with artificial boundaries.
Issun: Okay. Now, being undead, you don't need to eat or drink, right?
Karthus: Not as you do. But I still remember...the taste of of October ale...
Issun: I see. What's your favorite color, then?
Karthus: Red and black. The colors of my crown and robe.
Issun: Okay. Who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Karthus: Many think I do not know...what I can accomplish with my power...especially Morgana, the Fallen Angel. In truth, I know what I can accomplish...
Issun: So why don't you--?
Karthus: But conquering all of Runeterra...would make my existence boring.
Issun: I see. To finish, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Karthus: Forever. I am no longer bound by death as you are.
Issun: Okay. Thanks for letting me talk with you.
Karthus: The pleasure...is mine...


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Edasich

Senior Member

02-25-2012

Lee Sin

Lee Sin: Greetings, One Inch Temple.
Issun: Hello there--wait. What did you just call me?
Lee Sin: That is what your name means, is it not?
Issun: ...Uh, yes. You're actually the first person I've met to call me that.
Lee Sin: So I am. Now, formality aside, please proceed with your interview.
Issun: Oh, right. To start, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Lee Sin: I often meditate for extended periods of time. It keeps my mind open to the world around me.
Issun: I'll bet, especially in light of what happened between Ionia and Noxus.
Lee Sin: Correct.
Issun: Now, what do you like about the League of Legends?
Lee Sin: That I can freely voice my concerns without resorting to violence. Also, I find the music to be rather...intriguing.
Issun: Really? And here I am, thinking there's nothing good to listen to besides Sona's music.
Lee Sin: I suppose we all have different tastes in music.
Issun: Well, what do you dislike about the League?
Lee Sin: Too often, I have to share room and board with champions who absolutely reek, perhaps the worst of such offenders being Twitch.
Issun: What about Trundle?
Lee Sin: He suffers from a curse that traps him in an endless cycle of decay and regrowth; I sympathize with him, as I too know such pain. Yet, it does not abate my desire to pinch my nose shut whenever I approach him. Twitch simply stays as he is to bother others.
Issun: Yech. Don't remind me. So, do you miss anyone in your homeland?
Lee Sin: If you cannot change the past, why would you long for it? You can only learn from it and proceed onward.
Issun: Okay. I think I see your point.
Lee Sin: I understand.
Issun: Moving on, what's your favorite food?
Lee Sin: Doushanbaozi, a delicate steamed bun filled with sweet bean paste.
Issun: I think I've tried one of those before. But moving along, what's your--oh, wait a minute.
Lee Sin: What?
Issun: Since you're blind, I assume you don't necessarily have a favorite color, do you?
Lee Sin: True, I no longer see as you do, but I no longer need to.
Issun: Interesting. Who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Lee Sin: Sona. Just as I am blind, she is mute, so just as I see through the world around me, she speaks through her music.
Issun: That's an interesting way to look at it. No offense.
Lee Sin: None taken.
Issun: To finish this interview, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Lee Sin: I would ask you the same question.
Issun: ... (begins thinking long and hard about Lee Sin's response)
Lee Sin: ...
Issun: Well, uh, thanks for letting me interview you.
Lee Sin: Gratitude is unnecessary.


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The Ðefiler

Senior Member

02-27-2012

..... an interview with Twitch.

I'd imagine that'd be insanity at its best.


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LaviKun

Member

02-28-2012

Kennen and Fizz. if you hadn't did these 2 yet


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Edasich

Senior Member

03-01-2012

Twitch

Issun: (gasps frantically for air, almost leaving the area)
Twitch: What is it?
Issun: {suffocating} Can't...breathe... (dons a gas mask) (sigh of relief) {slightly muffled} Much better.
Twitch: Hey. I don't smell that bad.
Issun: {slightly muffled} Not to be the bearer of bad news, but yes, you do.
Twitch: Hmph. Racist.
Issun: {slightly muffled} I'm not being racist; I'm just stating the obvious. No offense.
Twitch: Whatever. Just get on with this interview-type thing of yours.
Issun: {slightly muffled} Oh, right. To start, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Twitch: I like to walk around areas where nobody seems to want to go. Like, say, sewers, junkyards, old dumpsters. Pretty much anywhere that resembles home.
Issun: {slightly muffled} So I gathered.
Twitch: I also like watching old comedy, like this one series of plays where a cat tries to catch a mouse but ends up getting horribly mauled all the time.
Issun: {slightly muffled} I see. What do you like about the League of Legends?
Twitch: It's wacky and zany and dangerously cheesy. Everybody's weird, and yet nobody is. Don't ask me what I think that means, because I have no idea.
Issun: {slightly muffled} Okay. What do you dislike about the League?
Twitch: A lot of other champions think I reek, but have they ever smelled themselves? Come on. Just how much worse could you humans' sense of smell get?
Issun: {slightly muffled} I see.
Twitch: No, you smell. Get it? (chuckle)
Issun: {slightly muffled} Oh, I get it. Anyway, do you miss anyone in your homeland?
Twitch: Not really. I often go back home to the sewers of Zaun and see my friends and family. We catch up on lots of stuff.
Issun: {slightly muffled} You rats must be very sociable creatures.
Twitch: Yep. The big problem is that our language can't be translated into any of your languages, not that you humans have ever bothered trying to learn it anyway.
Issun: {slightly muffled} If only I could learn it, but that's irrelevant right now. Moving on, what's your favorite food?
Twitch: I can tell you what it's not: cheese. Ugh. What kind of sick, twisted mind came up with that stuff?
Issun: {slightly muffled} I actually heard that it was first made by accident; someone stored some milk in a sack made from a sheep's stomach, and the sack's rennet eventually turned the milk inside into curd and whey.
Twitch: Gross!
Issun: {slightly muffled} I know, right? Moving on, what's your favorite color?
Twitch: Black, I guess. It's the only color that doesn't end up looking like barf after walking through the sewers with it.
Issun: {slightly muffled} Okay. Now, who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Twitch: If by that, you mean any sense in general, I'd have to say Viktor. What's this "glorious evolution" he keeps babbling about? Is he trying to go against the laws of nature?
Issun: {slightly muffled} I'll go out on a limb and say "maybe".
Twitch: Thought so.
Issun: {slightly muffled} Now, to finish this interview, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Twitch: Until I can figure out how I came to be what I am now and apply that to my friends and family. That or until I can find a way to change myself back. Either one, really. I'm still not sure.
Issun: {slightly muffled} Okay, then. Thanks for taking the time to talk.
Twitch: You're welcome, I guess, but you might want to take that mask off before you see anyone else; you look ridiculous.


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Edasich

Senior Member

03-01-2012

Evelynn

Issun: So...you must be Evelynn.
Evelynn: My, aren't you a sharp one? (sinister laugh)
Issun: Okay...uh...well, to start this interview, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Evelynn: Why, hunt down and kill any unsuspecting slighters, of course.
Issun: ...I don't think I should go any further into that.
Evelynn: You'd best not.
Issun: Well, what do you like about the League of Legends?
Evelynn: What else? The howls of agony and distorted faces of my victims when they lie dead at my feet. Over and over again.
Issun: I see. What do you dislike about the League?
Evelynn: That so many of you summoners want to know more about me than is for your own good.
Issun: You mean like whether or not you actually came from the Shadow Isles?
Evelynn: That's none of your business.
Issun: All right. Now, moving on, do you miss anyone in your homeland?
Evelynn: (hiss)
Issun: Okay! Okay! I'll stop.
Evelynn: You'd better, unless you want to end up like the last summoner who prodded me further on that matter.
Issun: ...Uh, moving away from that, what's your favorite food?
Evelynn: Fear. The life essences of my victims are rank with it.
Issun: ...Well, um...how about a color?
Evelynn: Midnight blue.
Issun: Okay. Moving on, who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Evelynn: In what sense?
Issun: Any sense.
Evelynn: Then I suppose I'd have to mention the champions of Demacia, and one in particular: Jarvan IV. He parades around, acting like he's immune to fear, yet deep down, he overflows with it. What an arrogant simpleton.
Issun: I probably shouldn't ask how you know that.
Evelynn: Look who's catching on.
Issun: Okay, then. To finish this interview, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Evelynn: I've said it before, and I'll say it again. That's none of your business.
Issun: Okay. Well, um, thanks for letting me interview you.
Evelynn: The pleasure's all mine. (sinister laugh)