[STORY/CHALLENGE] My Talks with the League

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Edasich

Senior Member

02-20-2012

Zilean

Issun: (falling from the sky) {panicked} DON'THITTHESPIKEPITDON'THITTHESPIKEPITDON'THITTHES PIKEPIT!!! (lands in a giant blob of goop) (gets out, slogs out, and starts spitting and coughing) Okay! Enough with the falling from the sky!
Zilean: ...and yes, I do dearly miss my family back in Urtistan. My wife, my children, their children. How I wish I could talk to them right now. (sigh)
Issun: (sees Zilean and hesitates to approach him) ...
Zilean: Food, you say? Ah. Glad you asked. Rotisserie chicken.
Issun: Uh...excuse me.
Zilean: Summer blue, I suppose. And, oh, by the way, I wonder how that Volibear is doing.
Issun: Uh, Zilean, I presume?
Zilean: Sure, I had my fair share of skepticism when he joined the League, but he's proven to be quite the character. My spare time? What an odd question, but if I had to choose, I suppose I would have to say "collecting old watches".
Issun: ...Hello?
Zilean: You see, as you are no doubt aware, I have a debilitating disease known as chrono-displasia. You summoners have been so kind as to treat my affliction, but I still hope to one day find a cure and, if fate permits, a way to save my people. If only I could go back in time and stop Urtistan's destruction.
Issun: ...(starts leaving the area, thoroughly dumbstruck)
Zilean: I would like to note the food here. The last time I ate anything so lavishly prepared was...well, it was a long time ago...


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Oceanic Eggroll

Member

02-20-2012

Hoemahgawd I love you


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Zakur the Bright

Senior Member

02-20-2012

How about Nautilus? And do xerath or heimerdinger if you wanna do extra


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Edasich

Senior Member

02-22-2012

Nidalee

Nidalee: Hello there, summoner. Fancy meeting you here.
Issun: So, you followed me.
Nidalee: You were easy to follow; I recognize the smell of burnt hair anywhere.
Issun: I see. As long as you're here, would you mind if I interviewed you?
Nidalee: I was in the middle of practicing my hunting skills on passersby, but sure. Why not?
Issun: I guess that answers my first question already, which would've been "What do you like to do in your spare time?"
Nidalee: Rest assured that I only do so to keep my instincts sharp, and besides, if I had ever killed anyone in the process, your superiors would probably expel me.
Issun: They probably would. We were very close to doing that to Ziggs the other day.
Nidalee: I know; I could hear the blast from the woods around here.
Issun: Well, moving on, what do you like about the League of Legends?
Nidalee: I suppose I'd have to say the chance to wander around the Fields of Justice, especially the Twisted Treeline. It's not quite like my home, but the atmosphere is still very soothing.
Issun: And what do you dislike about the League?
Nidalee: Those stupid costumes I sometimes have to wear. Not only do they look ridiculous; they sting and itch. Ugh. I especially dislike that French Maid outfit; I can barely move in it, let alone fight.
Issun: LeBlanc actually said something similar to that.
Nidalee: Heh. You don't say.
Issun: Okay, then. You mentioned that the Twisted Treeline is a bit like your home, right?
Nidalee: Yes. Why do you ask?
Issun: Do you miss anyone there? Your homeland, I mean.
Nidalee: The wildcats who took me in when my birth parents died. I've seen their families grow and shrink with time, and even though they know I'm not one of them by blood, they still treat me like family. You probably know the story of my birth parents' only being there because they thought there was treasure, right?
Issun: Yes.
Nidalee: Turns out nature is the real treasure. At least that's what I learned from my wildcat brethren.
Issun: I see. I probably shouldn't ask this next question, but what's your favorite food?
Nidalee: Actually, that's not a bad question to ask, and to answer it, I'd have to say ground squirrel.
Issun: What about a color?
Nidalee: ...I'm sorry. I never thought of an answer for that.
Issun: Okay, then. Who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Nidalee: Janna. I was dating another summoner for a while, but according to Blitzcrank's "Fleshling Compatibility Service", she was more compatible with him. Of course, many people thought I would claw both their faces on finding out, but I'm not that unreasonable.
Issun: So I heard. I wonder why the Journal of Justice hasn't distributed any new issues lately.
Nidalee: Beats me.
Issun: Moving on, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Nidalee: My home is under constant threat from the so-called "civilized" world that you're used to. I only plan to stay here until that predation stops for good. I don't see why other humans don't simply adapt to their environment as the rest of nature has for eons.
Issun: I guess that's a question we'll never know the answer to.
Nidalee: ...
Issun: Well, thanks for letting me interview you.
Nidalee: You're welcome. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go chase some wild geese.


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Edasich

Senior Member

02-22-2012

Nautilus

Issun: I assume you're Nautilus. You're a lot bigger in person than on paper.
Nautilus: So I am. Continue.
Issun: To start this interview, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Nautilus: Swimming. Walking around underwater.
Issun: ...
Nautilus: Continue.
Issun: Oh, right. Moving on, what do you like about the League of Legends?
Nautilus: I would mention the room and board. It is nice to see it change for its residents.
Issun: Uh huh.
Nautilus: Once, I had a room filled with water. It was not much, but it was close to the life I knew after they betrayed me.
Issun: After who betrayed you?
Nautilus: I do not remember their names, only that they left me to die.
Issun: I see. Moving on, do you miss anyone in your homeland?
Nautilus: ...
Issun: Uh, did I say something offensive?
Nautilus: No. There is no one and nothing I can return to. It does not matter whether I miss them or not.
Issun: I see. My next question would be "What's your favorite food?" but seeing as you apparently don't need to eat, drink, or breathe, I think that would be stupid.
Nautilus: I cannot eat, drink, or breathe anyway, as I have no mouth or nose.
Issun: Okay, then. What's your favorite color?
Nautilus: Black, the color of the depths.
Issun: All right. Moving on, who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Nautilus: ...
Issun: Excuse me?
Nautilus: Fizz. He lives for the sea, but he does not know its true nature. I do. It is a dark, cruel, heavy place where no human can survive.
Issun: Considering that humans can't breathe underwater, that's perfectly reasonable.
Nautilus: ...
Issun: Well, to finish this interview, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Nautilus: Until I have vengeance on those who left me to die.
Issun: That's it?
Nautilus: Yes.
Issun: I'd hate to disappoint you, but judging from the look of that suit compared to other models in current production, I'd say everyone you think you need to exact vengeance on has been dead for the past...uh...50 years.
Nautilus: Then why do I stay?
Issun: I don't know. That's for you to discover, I guess.
Nautilus: ...
Issun: Uh, thanks for letting me talk with you.
Nautilus: ...Leave.


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Zakur the Bright

Senior Member

02-22-2012

interesting. I love your interviews. I hope to see Xerath eventually!


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The Ðefiler

Senior Member

02-22-2012

Why not Amumu? Or, if you want some hilarious insanity, try one with Renekton.

That'd be just wild.


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Edasich

Senior Member

02-23-2012

Xerath

Issun: So, I take it you're Xerath?
Xerath: Indeed.
Issun: Okay. To start, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Xerath: I often gaze at the night sky, transcending all that others see. I live to learn the secrets of Runeterra and the universe beyond.
Issun: Interesting prospect. What do you like about the League of Legends?
Xerath: If nothing else, the architecture. It has a certain...ethereal aesthetic, not unlike these chains that bind me.
Issun: I see. What do you dislike about the League?
Xerath: Many of you summoners do not trust me around your nexuses. I need only a paltry sample of their energy to rid myself of my prison.
Issun: Define "paltry sample".
Xerath: One nexus carries arcane power enough to fuel a thousand suns for eons. By my estimate, I need only to tap into a meager thousandth of such power.
Issun: That's still a humongous amount of power, and who knows what would happen if something went wrong?
Xerath: A necessary sacrifice if need be.
Issun: ...Uh, well, then, do you miss anyone in your homeland?
Xerath: Shurima perished centuries before you were born. I am no longer bound to its people or memories.
Issun: Not even Tabia?
Xerath: ...She is no more to me than dust in the wind...
Issun: ...All right, then. Well, uh, seeing as you're a being of pure energy, I assume you don't need to eat, right?
Xerath: I no longer feed as mortals do, but before I transcended my own mortality, I remember being quite fond of moussaka.
Issun: I see. What about a color?
Xerath: White, a pure, unbridled shade.
Issun: Now, then, who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Xerath: If by that, you mean any sense in general, I give mention to the angels, Kayle and Morgana. Kayle believes I am a culmination of "ultimate evil", while Morgana seeks true power as I once did. Both are wrong.
Issun: Really?
Xerath: Kayle is wrong because desire for power is nothing evil in and of itself; one needs only to know where to draw the line. Morgana is wrong because she knows nothing of true power nor will she ever. Other mages think they know true power, but all are wrong, especially her. When I was mortal, I too believed magic was true power, but I have learned much since then.
Issun: What is true power to you?
Xerath: Power.
Issun: Power?
Xerath: Power itself is true power. The type of power does not matter as much as one may think. In truth, all is oddly balanced. In my case, power is eternal life and arcane force beyond mortal measure. In yours, power is this interview you now conduct with me.
Issun: Wow. I never really thought of that.
Xerath: I have had plenty of time to think that through.
Issun: I can only imagine. At any rate, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Xerath: Until I am free of this sarcophagus at last. I will then show this world true power.
Issun: I understand. Thanks for letting me talk with you.
Xerath: Gratitude is unnecessary, summoner.


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Edasich

Senior Member

02-23-2012

Irelia

Issun: You must be Irelia, correct?
Irelia: Yes, I am. I'm not exactly hard to find.
Issun: Point taken,
Irelia: No pun intended, I hope.
Issun: Nope. Now then, to start this interview, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Irelia: Dancing. Not only does it set my mind at ease, but it also helps me keep my form sharp for battle. Again, no pun intended.
Issun: Yeah, I didn't think it was funny either. I must admit, though, I'm a bit curious about how dancing helps you fight.
Irelia: It's not just any dance; it's the Hiten style's forms.
Issun: I see. Well, then, what do you like about the League of Legends?
Irelia: The chance to voice my concerns free of negative consequence without resorting to violence. As powerful as the Hiten style may be, I prefer not to use it to kill without just cause.
Issun: So I hear.
Irelia: Most in Ionia feel the same way as I do, so that should be no surprise to you.
Issun: What do you dislike about the League
Irelia: Some members have a rather...well, let's say "questionable" taste in music. Honestly, what is that horrid noise those Zauntines listen to?
Issun: Ugh. Don't remind me. Moving on, do you miss anyone in your homeland?
Irelia: Only one person comes to mind at the moment: my brother, Zelos. We never saw eye to eye as other siblings often do, but he was still family. Of course, there are others in Ionia I miss, but they're all probably dead.
Issun: There's always hope, isn't there?
Irelia: I suppose so.
Issun: Next question, then. What's your favorite food?
Irelia: Mapo dofu.
Issun: Mapo dofu? You mean that deathly spicy dish that makes your eyes water, your nose bleed, and your throat burn until you can't breathe? That mapo dofu?
Irelia: Obviously, you've never tried it before, but yes. And it's not that spicy.
Issun: Okay, then. What's your favorite color?
Irelia: Blue.
Issun: All right. So, who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Irelia: In what sense?
Issun: Any sense.
Irelia: Then I suppose I would have to mention Ahri. How she attained her current form is quite interesting. Of course, I'd much rather prefer not to have her up in my face about it; I can only stomach so much.
Issun: I think I can relate. Now, to finish this interview, how long do you plan to stay in the League?
Irelia: As long as Ionia needs me to defend it. I lost my home once, and I'll be dead before I lose it again.
Issun: Good words to live by. Thanks for letting me interview you.
Irelia: Any time.


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Edasich

Senior Member

02-23-2012

Amumu

Amumu: But I don't want to do an interview.
Issun: Oh, come on, Amumu. I'm not going to bite you or yank all the bandages off your body.
Amumu: I don't feel very comfortable talking to people I don't know.
Issun: Just pretend you're talking to somebody you do know, then.
Amumu: ...Oh, okay. But you'd better not make fun of me.
Issun: I won't. I promise. Now, to start this interview, what do you like to do in your spare time?
Amumu: I... I usually sit alone and draw in the dirt. No one ever wants to talk to me. Period.
Issun: That's not true.
Amumu: Okay, so that's an exaggeration, but still, not very many people want to talk to me at all.
Issun: Oh. So, what do you like about the League of Legends?
Amumu: That at least some people are nice to me, if only for a little while.
Issun: Like who?
Amumu: ...
Issun: I see. What do you dislike about the League?
Amumu: That nobody seems to know who I am or where I'm from. Also, the thought of being undead...it's really creepy. I don't like not being able to feel my heart beat.
Issun: I see. Do you miss anyone in your homeland?
Amumu: That depends. Where is my homeland? Who are my family and friends from when I was alive? Why hasn't anyone told me?
Issun: I don't know.
Amumu: That's what I thought you'd say. That's what everyone says.
Issun: Aw, too bad. Now, being undead, I imagine you don't need to eat, do you?
Amumu: Not really. I don't like it when people run away from me because they think I'll eat their brains; brains are disgusting.
Issun: I wouldn't know, but I'm going to be on the safe side and assume you're right.
Amumu: Aww...
Issun: Well, what's your favorite color?
Amumu: Uh, black, I guess. It makes me feel safe, for whatever reason.
Issun: I see. Moving on, who have you met in the League who particularly interests you?
Amumu: Annie Hastur. She's the only person I've met whom I've ever been able to call a friend.
Issun: That's nice.
Amumu: I just hope she doesn't leave me like everyone else has so far.
Issun: Okay. How long do you plan to stay in the League?
Amumu: Until I know everything that happened before I became undead. And also until I find more friends like Annie.
Issun: You have plenty of time for both to happen. I'm sure it'll all work out.
Amumu: I don't know. Maybe.
Issun: Well, thanks for letting me interview you.
Amumu: You're...um, welcome, I guess. Bye.