Out for a walk.
The morning sun emerged from the horizon as the cities of Runeterra slowly awoke from their slumber… Except Noxus which seemed to quiet down in the presence of the light.
It was almost a week from when Kog’maw was brutally rejected by Morgana, but he still sat in his room holding the clay doll.
His eyes looked at the clay doll, not even blinking as he sat there motionless.
Suddenly a commotion was heard outside of his room, but Kog’maw did not react.
“What? This is not-“
“It’ll do little Koggy some good-”
“I personally think it’s a good idea.”
“No he is not some pet-”
Kog’maws door flung open and standing there Ahri.
Gentlemen Cho’gath was behind her smiling with approval and Malzahar put his face in the palm of his hands.
“It won’t work.” Stated Malzahar, “he refuses to move, he rarely even eats!”
“Well I think that’s why we should take him out for a walk!” Said Cho’gath, it’ll revitalize our ol’boy.
“I doubt it.”
“Well!” said Ahri joyfully, “Don’t know till we try! Come on Koggy! Let’s go for a walk!”
Kog’maw remained motionless, holding his doll close to him.
Ahri puffed up her cheeks and thought for a moment.
“Hmm… O I know!” She put on a seductive smile and gathered pink energy around her lips.
“Come to me Kog!” She declared in a seductive voice and blew a pink heart shaped energy ball at Kog’maw.
It hit the void beast square on the forehead, but it shimmered and turned grey, falling to the floor and hitting it with a splat.
“Oh… well that’s pretty bad.” Said Ahri as she raised her brow, at her second failed attempt.
“Well that’s why I brought THIS!” She said and she flipped up her skirt revealing a whip tied to her thigh.
“Dear Void!” Exclaimed Cho’gath as both he and Malzahar shut their eyes at Ahri’s boldness.
“Oh, whatever! I know you guys long enough, who cares!” Said Ahri untying the whip from her leg.
“A lady should not act that way!” Protested Cho’gath with his eyes still closed.
“I wouldn’t count her as a lady.” Said Malzahar with his own eyes closed as well.
“Pfft! Well this will do!”
“Malzahar and Gentlemen Cho’gath hesitatingly opened their eyes and saw that Ahri had tied her whip around Kog’maws neck like a leash.
“Ok! Let’s go for a walk!”
“What!?” Said Malzahar, “That- what- He isn’t a DOG!”
“What are you complaining about?” Said Ahri as she puffed up her cheeks, “I’m the one dragging him.”
She strode to the door dragging Kog’maw on his side while he still held the clay doll.
The two Void beings parted for the surprising strong Fox and followed her.
Ahri’s new dog.
The League courtyard was filled with activity. The sun shined into the courtyard and Champions were busy socializing. Then Ahri and her Void trio came into view.
It was an odd sight indeed, a Giant Beast with a top hat, a floating human wearing full cloth coverings in the sun, and a skimpy fox lady dragging a motionless lobster like beast with a-
“Oh my god Ahri are you dragging him with a whip.” Exclaimed Lux as she broke away the Demacian group.
“Oh, it’s ok, he has tough skin he’ll be fine!” Said Ahri without a care. “Is Morgana feeling any different?”
Kog’maw twitched as the name was mentioned
*Sigh* “Unfortunately no,” Said Lux as she looked down shaking her head, “She looks like she wants to see him, but she always gets so angry when we bring him up.”
“That’s so mean!” Said Ahri as she fussed with Lux, “How can she abandon this poor caring-”
Ahri looked at Kog’maw lying motionless behind her.
“It’s just too sad, they were adorable together!” Lux crouched down beside Kog’maw as he laid on his side. She extended her hand and stroked the top of his head.
“We’ll get her back, I promise!”
Ahri smiled and did the same. But a shadow over came them.
It was Jarvan, Shyvanna, and Garen.
“We heard the news.” Said Jarvan grimly.
“I’d find it funny if you didn’t catch wind of this.” Said Malzahar as he looked down on Kog’maw.
“This is nothing to be sorry about, it was not any of our faults.”
“Then whose fault is it?” Said Lux sadly, Morgana wants to see Kog’maw so bad but she still can’t seem to stop hating him.”
Malzahar took a deep breath and looked at Gentlemen Cho’gath.
The massive Void beast nodded, “Well, we might as well get all the information we require. Perhaps it will help our old friend.”
The group looked at him curiously.
“Have any of you heard of these things?” Said Malzahar as he pulled out the heart-shaped tome from his cloak. “I believe these things are the reason for Morgana’s behaviour.”
Jarvan narrowed his eyes.
“Aren’t they supposed to bring love on Valentine’s and good tidings to relations? They can’t possibly be the cause.” Said Lux with her eyebrows raised.
“No,” said Malzahar, “I believe that they have another reason to splitting the two up.”
The group listened intently.
“Both Morgana and Kog’maw are not beings of this plane of existence.” Explained Malzahar as Jarvan extended a hand for the book. Malzahar gave the book to him. “When these two creature’s fates intertwine, count the resulting event cause something that these things did not approve of? This is within their field of surveillance.”
Malzahar looked at Jarvan who was flipping through the book.
“I’m guessing that you know something?”
Jarvan sighed, “Yes, come, let us visit the Demacian Archives. I will grant you all passage.”
The group arrived at the Great Demacian Palace, and with a wave of his hand, the doors of the palace parted.
The group strode through marvelous golden corridors and shimmering fountains that reflected the sunlight onto the proud buildings.
“My word, what magnificent architecture!” Complimented Cho’gath as he adjusted his monocle.
“Yes,” Said Shyvanna, “These were built to symbolize the epitome of Valoran’s living space for every race.” She looked back at Ahri who was still dragging Kog’maw through the halls.
“Do you need help carrying him?” Asked Shyvanna.
“Oh, no.” Replied Ahri, “He is oddly very light weight.”
“Oh, right, I forgot that Kog’maw hasn’t been eating much.” Said Cho’gath.
“When was the last time he ate?”
“I don’t know,” Said Cho’gath scratching his chin with a massive talon, “3 days ago maybe?”
“Oh Gosh!” Said Lux and Ahri together, the rest of the group other then Cho’gath and Malzahar looked at Kog’maw in astonishment.
“Oh, don’t worry, he won’t die. Heck he rejects the food anyways.”
“This won’t do!” Jarvan, “No guest of the Demacian Palace goes hungry!”
He turned to Garen,”Could you please show Ahri and Kog’maw to the dining hall?”
“Sure thing.” Said Garen, “I never took to books very well.”
The group split as Cho’gath, and Malzahar followed Shyvanna, Lux, and Jarvan to the Archives deep below the palace.
Garen led Ahri to the dining hall in the center of the palace while she dragged Kog’maw along to try and get him to eat something.
Don’t say don’t tell
Deep into the Demacian Library, Lux led Jarven, Shyvanna, Gentlemen Cho’gath, and Malzahar through the main hall of the library.
Much like the outside, the inside of the library was a shining gold, with Demacian flags draped over the walls and poles. The book shelves were at least three stories high as the group walked past them.
Finally they came to a large round desk with a young librarian writing records and documents. She looked up and saw the group.
At first she gasped at the sight of Malzahar and Cho’gath, but she let out a sigh of relief when Jarvan held up his hand and smiled.
“Have no fear Miss,” Said Jarvan as he chuckled, “They wish the view the archives today.”
“Oh thank heavens.” Said The librarian, “Would you like a guide-”
“It’s alright,” Interrupted Lux, “Please have a rest, I will guide them through the Archives.”
“Yes, Miss Crownguard you do seem to go into the Archives a lot.”
“Well, knowledge is worth it!”
The librarian took out her keys and opened the door, the then turned and asked curiously.
“What are you looking for in the Archives?”
“Oh just a few things about cupids.”
The Librarian smiled craftily,”Oh ho!, looking for more ways to charm Mr, Ezreal Huh?”
“No-No~!” Said Lux as she puffed up her cheeks just like Ahri.
“Well then you just need to show more of this instead of covering it up with armour~!” Chirped the Librarian as she pointed to Lux’s Chest plate.
“NOOO!” Cried Lux as she leaned over the dedsk and put both hands on the Librarian’s mouth.
Behind them Shyvana tapped Jarvan’s shoulder and asked. “What kind of effects does showing one’s chest have on men?”
Jarvan was ridged and silent.
Malzahar said sarcastically, “Well you know when Ahri hits people with that annoying purple heart?”
“Yea… That happens, only it only works on men… and some women.”
“What are the conditions for it to affect wom-?”
“Enough! Cried Lux Interrupting everyone, “Let’s just go to the archives and get this over with.” She and the still giggling librarian held open the door for the rest of the group.
Shyvanna went in first followed by Malzahar and Cho’gath.
When Jarvan walked through Lux grabbed his hand. Jarvan looked down at her with a raised brow.
“Please, Please, Pleeaassse, don’t tell my brother about this.” Cried Lux with her eyes desperate.
The librarian fell to the floor laughing.
“Your brother can’t control you studying in the archives.” Said Jarvan simply.
“My Brother thinks I’m studying ancient battle bush tactics!”
“Oh… so you weren’t-”
“No, I wasn’t!”
“Thank you Thank you Thank you!” Cried Lux as she jumped in Jjoy
She and Jarvan went into the Archives while the librarian was still laughing on the ground.
At first the Archives were dark and dusky, there were outlines of shelves in the background and old brick and stone work on the walls. It was the opposite of the shining library above. But then Lux shot out a ball of light which directed itself towards the top-center of the Archives.
“My word!” Exclaimed Gentlemen Cho’gath as the light revealed a marvelous array of shelves and artifacts. There were scrolls and golden tomes filling the shelves. Globes and telescopes as well as ancient gadgets were displayed along the walls.
They followed Lux to a small opening in the mass of the Archive.
There was a desk and a crystal light as well as a few chairs. It was Lux’s little studing square. It was cosy and took away the coldness of the archives.
“If there is more info on cupids,” Said Lux as she descended down the stairs, “Then it should be here.”
“I’m sure it would be my dear girl.” Said Cho’gath amazed. “By the way, do you have any books on Old English?”
“Sure thing,” Said Lux as she skipped off.
“Lets not forget the reason we are here.” Reminded Malzahar as he and Shyvanna began to look at the books in Lux’s study.
Jarvan found a chair and sat down. His eye caught a globe at the corner of the study and he got up to take a look.
Meanwhile Shyvanna began looking through the books and scrolls on Lux’s table. She held them up reading the titles.
“How do charm the opposite gender.”
“Feminine appeal tactics of the original Demacian Lady.”
“How to sculpt your curves, by the Shurmia prophet.”
“What?!” Exclaimed Malzahar as he raised his brow in confusion. Shyvanna continued to read
“How to increase ones breast si-”
“STOP!” came a voice from the sides.
Shyvanna dropped the book and it hit the floor with a thud.
“Nonononononononono!” Squeaked Lux as she scampered over and piled her collection into a large drawer of the desk.
“That’s not mine I swear!” Said Lux.
“I was just taking a look at the breast enhancement book.”
“Yours are fine! You don’t need any more, I DO!” Whined Lux as she puffed up her cheeks.
“I swear if this becomes a thing with women I will flip.” Muttered Malzahar.
“Anyways, here is your book Mr. Cho.” Said Lux.
“Why thank you m’dear.” Cho’gath took the book and tucked it away in his large coat pocket.
“Did you find anything about the subject our guests need?” Came Jarvan’s voice as he returned from inspecting the globe.
“Yes, please follow me.” Said Lux.
The group got up and followed Lux through the shelves.
Finally they arrived at a shelve that stuck out from the other shelves like a sore thumb.
“Wow.” Said Malzahar sarcastically. “A pink heart-shaped shelf. How original.”
“Well it does contain everything you guys need.” Said Lux.
“Well then let’s not waste any more time.” Said Shyvanna as she started to take books and scrolls off the shelves.
The corridors of the Demacian Palace were shining gold, just like the outside. Garen took his two guests on a mini-tour while they made their way to the dining hall.
“The Demacian Palace is a place where some nobles live and discuss matters with the royal family.” Explained Garen as Ahri followed him dragging Kog’maw.
“Councils are held every week to listen to the concerns of the citizen’s of Demacia…”
Ahri followed Garen through the halls while showing off her beauty. There were Demacian nobles and guards all through the hall and Ahri’s strut didn’t go unnoticed.
Her figure put some of the noble women’s to shame as the noble men stared at her wide eyed.
Ahri’s smile and strut only grew more emphasized when she heard a slap from the noble crowds. She purposely threw out her chest as she walked resulting in the usually motionless palace guards to turn their heads ever so slightly.
Ahri was a bit disappointed that her charm didn’t seem to affect her tour guide. Garen seemed completely oblivious to her beauty. He was too busy looking at his own. Occasionally he would see his reflection in the golden walls of the halls and crack a pose and smile.
Finally they reached the dining hall. Ahri sniffed the air and sighed with pleasure. The air was filled with the smell of cooking and baking. Kog’maw caught a whiff of the baking and sniffled. He whimpered and held the clay doll tighter.
Ahri knelt down and stroked Kog’maw’s head.
“You okay Koggy?”
Kog’maw didn’t respond.
“Let’s eat something.”
Still no response.
Ahri sighed and stood up.
“So what can we get to eat?”
“Well you are League Champions as well as official guests of Prince Jarvan today. Anything you desire to eat is available.”
“Well I’m trying to get Koggy here to eat.”
“Oh…” Garen looked at Kog’maw lying on the ground with curiosity.
“What happened to him?”
“You didn’t hear?”
“To busy stalking your sister and Ezreal?”
Yea- I mean NO! Nope! Too busy! Just too busy!”
“Riight, well poor little Koggy here got thrown out.”
“Morgana? Why did she leave him? I thought-”
Kog’maw whimpered at the mention of the name.
Ahri knelt down and gave Kog’maw a hug.
“Awww. It’s okay, She still wuvs you” Pouted Ahri as she scratched Kog’maw's head.
“I know the best solution!” Said Garen.
“What’s that?” Asked Ahri, “Mind you we’re just trying to get him to eat.
“Well that’s it!”
“When I was rejected- uhhh I mean- AHEM- When I turned away love for my duties, I felt empty and devoid of life. I needed to fill it up with something.”
“Of course at first I didn’t feel like eating anything. I became thin and un-manly!”
“Well of course Lux wouldn’t have that, so she decided to force me to eat one single bite!”
“She did what?”
“Yes!” Garen said as he teared up, “My precious sister used her wand as a crowbar and pried open my lonesome jaws and deposited a single cookie.”
Ahri raised her brow at Garens growing dramatic speech.
“Then as if the universe roared to life in my stomach I developed a monstrous hunger that quenched my thirst for love. It shoved love aside and I began to gorge on pretty much anything I could find!”
Ahri made a face of disgust.
“The whole Demacian kitchen was at my disposal, and I crushed my thirst for love with the sweet and salty taste of FOOOOOD!
“Wow~” Said Ahri sarcastically, “it’s a wonder you didn’t get fat.”
“Well actually I did.”
“You got fat?”
“Real fat.” Said Garen, “You see this chest?” Said Garen as he pointed as his over-sized chest and shoulders.
“And do you see this torso?” Garen pointed at his much smaller torso under the massive upper body.”
“Well reverse the two and you can imagine how fat I got.”
Ahri pondered for a moment. “EW!”
“Yes! But I have to say it is better than starving.” Said Garen proudly, “It was my dear sister that saved my from my thin stick-like state and brought back the man inside me! *Sniff* And that’s why *Sniff* I refuse to let her loiter around with that hooligan boy! Always taking her to dangerous places and taking her away from the safety of Demacia!...”
Ahri wasn’t listening to Garen’s ranting. She was too focused on trying to shove a cupcake down Kog’maws throat.
It felt like trying to pry open a steel cage door.
Then Ahri remembered how Lux managed to get Garen to eat.
She rushed to doorway of the banquet hall where two guards were standing.
“Hey you two~” Said Ahri seductively, “Can you two do me a favour?” She said as she showed a bit of her legs.
The two guards were hesitant at first, but after a few seconds they could not resist.
“S-Sure thing madam.”’
“I need you two to help me open that thing’s mouth.” Ahri pointed at the spears the guards were holding, then at Kog’maw lying on the ground.
The two guards looked at Kog’maw with curiousity.
“What happened to him?”
“He got dumped.”
“Oh… Alright then let’s get some food into his stomach!”
Ahri raised her brow. “How did you know what I was planning to do?”
“We were here when the Dauntless Vanguard got dumped too.”
“Oh, well that makes things easier.”
The Chefs of the Demacian Dining hall were some of best in Valoran. And with access to many ingredients the average person can’t obtain. Whipping up something delectable and irresistible was elementary to them
The only problem now is that they had to get the food through the steel trap mouth of Kog’maw.
Ahri was sitting on one of the benches thinking. She had her chin in her right hand palm and was tapping her lips with her fingers.
“Are you ready to order miss?”
Ahri looked up to see a fat jolly chef smiling down at her. He wore slightly stained chef uniform and an apron with the Demacian crest on it. In his pudgy hands was a small pencil and a notepad.
Ahri got up and thought for a second.
“I hope you don’t mind, but what you do you usually serve to someone like that?” Said Ahri as she pointed at Kog’maw lying on the floor.
The chef bent over and took a good look at Kog’maw
Kog’maw remained motionless throughout the entire trip, there was a gloomy cold aura around him and it was as if it was sucking the joy out of the air.
“Oh my, well.” Said The Jolly Chef, “Are you pointing at the fact that he is a void being or the fact that he is pretty down in the dumps.”
“Well then I recommend everything.”
“Everything?” Said Ahri as she raised her bro.
“Well you see when a person is in this state of mind, when he begins gorging, nothing really tastes… bad.”
“I see.” Said Ahri as she knelt down to stoke the top of Kog’maws head, “I’m sorry but I don’t think we will have enough for everything.”
“Do not worry.” Said the jolly chef, “Garen has informed us that today you are personal guests in the palace. You do not have to pay a single piece of gold.”
“Thank you very much.” Said Ahri as she bowed.
“Don’t mention it, Ho Ho!” Said the jolly chef as he laughed, “This is in fact a perfect time to test out new recipes! I hope you don’t mind m’dear!”
“Certainly not.” Said Ahri.
When the Chef turned and left Ahri let out a great sigh.
“Jeez I’m not used to being so formal. Yeeeuuuk! Oh well at least the chef was nice.”
Ahri put her hands on her hips.
“Now, I just have to wait for those two to-“
Ahri turned, “Oh hey!”
The guards she requested help from had arrived with several other guards.
“How shall we go about this Madam?” Said one of the guards as the group stared at the motionless gloomy blob lying on the floor.
“I just need you all to open his jaws when the food arrives. One piece of food should be enough to get the stomach churning.
Finding the right book.
The records that were stocked upon the heart-shaped shelf were bursting with information on the cupids. The group spent their time taking down and sorting the books.
“Whew!” Said Lux as she let out a breath of relief, “That’s all of them.”
She had sorted the books out in piles according to the subjects they covered and the dates they were written.
“It is much appreciated.” Thanked Malzahar as he read through the piles at lightning speed.
His eyes glowed as he riffled through the pages.
“What’s concerning you m’dear boy?” Said Gentlemen Cho’gath as he took up a scroll.
“These texts are very descriptive and have a lot of information down to the fine detail.”
“When I conversed with Veigar he told me that the cupids are of Natural magic.”
“Wait, wait, wait.” Interrupted Shyvanna, “You were conversing with the Master of Evil?”
“No, we were conversing with the Tiny Master of Evil.” Replied Malzahar unconcerned.
Shyvanna turned to Jarvan who was sitting with his back to a book shelf reading.
“How are you just sitting here letting a man who has schemed with that evil yordle just go through our archives?!”
Jarvan looked up unconcerned, “I think Malzahar was right in consulting Veigar.”
“Well he is an expert in most fields of magic, and Malzahar no doubt suspected that it was black magic that manipulated Morgana into that state.”
“Quite correct.” Said Malzahar as he continued to skim through the books. “Also we didn’t scheme with him. If you haven’t noticed he has his own women problems as well which is partly why went to go talk to him as well.”
“Wait…What?” Exclaimed Shyvanna, “Veigar has women problems?”
“I thought everyone knew.” Said Lux as she joined the converstation.
“I don’t!” Said Shyvanna looking angry that she had been left out of the loop.
“Veigar and Tristana are together right now.”
“…” Shyvanna let the thought run through her head.
“Though Ziggs and Veigar are looking a bit competitive for her.”
“I give up.” Said Shyvanna as she sat herself down on one of the chairs. “I never seem to get wind of these ~feelings~.”
“Well you are always training or cooped up in your room.” Said Lux as she put a hand on Shyvanna’s shoulder.
“The civilians don’t take too kindly to a half dragon walking around socializing every day.”
“Whatever your mind comes too, we are digressing from the main point.” Interrupting Malzahar, “Veigar explained to me the abilities of natural magic.”
“And what about it?” Said Lux. Jarvan put down his book, curious to hear what the void prophet had to say.
Lux put her hand on her mouth.
“What?” Said Shyvanna as she saw Lux’s expression, “What’s wrong?”
“Does this present problems?” asked Jarvan.
“Well, you see M’dear prince, it means that the books and all the time we spent here may not even be a least bit meaningful.” Said Cho’gath.
“You see,” Explained Lux as she picked up a book and pointed at certain points of the charts it contained, “Natural Magic evolves to suit its needs, just like animals are guided by Natural selection.”
She pointed at a diagram of a tree that branched off to many other branches.
“If what Veigar said was true, then the books here are almost certainly out of date. The Cupid’s laws and magic potential may have changed or… evolved.”
“Let’s hope they have evolved.” Said Malzahar. “Almost all of the books here have mentioned the Cupid’s absolute refusals to take back any act they have committed. They are also said to bring hideous consequences to people who have disobeyed or strayed from their love plans.”
“Consequences like what?” Asked Jarvan who was concerned that such creatures exist.
“Records have linked cupids to minor accidents like burn accidents to faces, all the way to major accidents like magical explosions and full on natural disasters to separate the lovers.”
“Seperation by life and death. Tsk, Tsk.” Said Cho’gath.
“Well, enough of the morbid stuff, we should join up with Ahri and Garen to check up on Kog’maw” Said Lux Cheerfully as she stood up.
“Here, Here!” Said Cho’gath, “Quite a great idea I have to say, I am a bit hungry.”
Chug, Chug, Chug, Nom.
The group ascended the Archive stairs to the library.
Lux led the way as she dimmed the lights while they left. The librarian was outside cleaning up and returning to her post.
It was just after lunch time.
“How was the research?” The librarian asked as she brushed crumbs off her uniform, “Anymore love potions?” The librarian giggled
“Nooooooo.” Said Lux, she puffed up her cheeks and walked the librarian.
“Have a good day miss!” Said Gentlemen Cho’gath as he tipped off his hat to the librarian.
Jarvan and Shyvanna both did a curt nod towards the librarian and the librarian bowed in response.
The group reached the halls outside of the Dining hall.
“Odd.” Said Jarvan as he looked around, “There seems to be a lack of guards.” There should be one posted at every pillar.
Malzahar looked up and narrowed his eyes.
He floated on ahead and the group followed.
“The Dining hall doors are to the right.” Shouted Jarvan as Malzahar pulled on ahead.
Malzahar reached the large doors.
The group caught up just as he forced open the doors.
“Oh damit, we leave that fox alone for a moment and she does this.” Said Malzahar as he put a palm on his face.
Jarvan and Shyvanna’s eyes were wide open, Cho’gath’s draw dropped to the floor.
“Eew!” Cried Lux
Before them was a scene of total chaos.
Food was thrown onto the long tables of the dining hall messily, and there were guards chugging beer while it dripped over their chins. Chefs were joyously throwing out their own concoctions of food and shoving them on the tables. Food was splattered everywhere.
In the middle of the dining halls there were two very large beings surrounded by chanting guards.
It was Garen and Kog’maw.
Both were shoving down food at a terrifying rate. While Garen just had a relatively big belly, Kog’maw seemed to have swelled to an immense and obese size.
Surrounding the two were chanting guards.
“Chug! Chug !Chug! Chug!”
Any matter of consumables were thrown at the two, which were immediately consumed.
Kog’maw had tears rolling down his flab’s of fat as he gobbled down more food. Even Garen was drunk and crying too.
*Sob* “Morgyyyyy.” *Sob, Sniff* “Waaaaaaahhh.”
*Sob* "My beautiful Lux running off!" *Sniff* "With that dangerous boy!!!!" *Sob*
Kog’maw then stopped for moment to devour an entire roast pig stuffed with marinated mushrooms and turkey.
Kog’maw looked like he was twice the size of Gragas and three times as obese, his legs and tail weren’t even visible under the fat, and only his tiny arms stuck out flailing about uselessly as Kog’maw used his tongue to obtain more food.
“Dam that Fox!” Curse Malzahar as he floated towards the two.
Jarvan and Shyvanna strode forward. “Stop this barbaric act!” Shouted Jarvan as his voice echoed through the halls
But the people were all drunk and crazed.
“Shyvana send for any guards that aren’t drunk I want this place in order in less than an hour.”
“Yes sir.” Shyvanna ran off.
“Stupid fox, gotta ruin my day… Friggin hoe…” Malzahar mumbled angrily to himself as he approached the circle.
With a flick of his finger a wall of void energy encased Garen, Malzahar and Kog’maw and flung the rest of the guards back.
The guards cheered as they were flung back and they got back up to resume drinking.
The hall was still filled with noise.
“Kog’maw!” Called Malzahar to the obese Void creature.
Kog’maw kept sobbing and eating.’
“Where’s that stupid fox!?”
He inspected the surroundings.
Then Malzahar caught sight of a white tail sticking out from under Kog’maws fat flabs.
“… The irony.” Said Malzahar as he floated towards Kog’maw’s flab.
He jammed his arms in between the flabs of fat and heaved. Voidlings grabbed his boots and clothing and pulled along with him
Emerging from the flab was Ahri gasping for air.
*Gaaasp* “I can breath!” She fell to the ground as Malzahar dropped her with a thud.
“Owww.” Ahri rubbed her bottom and back “Phew I thought I was gonna be in there forever.
She looked up and saw a furious Malzahar.
“… Hehee… Uh… hey there Malzy…”
The woes of the fed.
The Demacian guards finally restored order to the dining hall.
The drunken guards and servants were removed and confined to their room as punishment. The cooks were reprimanded and tasked to clean up the hall.
Now there was only one problem left.
In the middle of the room stood Jarvan, Shyvanna, Luxanna, Gentlemen Cho’gath, Malzahar, a very ashamed Ahri, a sobbing drunk Garen, and finally the horrendously obese Kog’maw.
The void creature had swelled from the size of a large dog, to the size of a baby elephant and Ahri had explained to the group what she had tried to help Kog’maw get back on his feet.
“At least he is eating!” Protested Ahri as Malzahar continued to rage at her.
“Look at him!” Shouted Malzahar as he pointed to Kog’maw sitting there with his arms flailing around. “He’s worse than he was before!”
“At least I was trying!” Shouted Ahri back and she puffed up her cheeks.
“Now, Now.” Said Cho’gath as he tried to settle the situation, “let’s not get into a rut.”
While the Void beings and the Nine-tailed Fox were sorting out their argument, the Demacians were trying to understand their own problem.
*Sniiiiffff* *Sob* “Don-Don’t leave me Luxanna, Pleaded a drunk and crying Garen “I-I watched over you-and-and protected you till now….*Sniff* *Hic* He wrapped his massive arms around Lux’s left leg as he sobbed uncontrollably.
“Garen!” Said a frustrated Lux as she blushed from the embarrassment. “I’m not going anywhere!”
“But-But-that stupid explorer-Ez-Ezreal is gonna take you-youuuuu” *Sob* “He-He is always going to those-those” *Hic* “Stupid dangerous places- and-and they say he doesn’t even like girrrl! I can’t let him break your heart!” *Sniiiiiiff-HIC*
Jarvan covered his mouth to stop himself from bursting into laughter.
“Ezreal doesn’t like females?” Blurted out Shyvanna,” So that’s what the rumours were talking about.”
“No! No!” Said Lux, “He likes girls and we’re good together!”
“NUUUUU” Cried Garen as he gripped Lux’s leg harder with his massive arms.
“OW! Garen! Let go!”
Shyvanna and Jarvan rushed to pry Garen’s arms from Lux’s Leg, but they were like steel bands.
Back at the Void being’s situation Kog’maw was still sobbing uncontrollably much like Garen.
*Sob Sniff* “Morgyyy! Morgy no wuv meee!” Kog’maw buried his head into his own fat and sobbed while the fat flabs absorbed the tears.
“Ok, that’s gross.” Said Ahri as she put her hand over her mouth and nose.
“Well guess who is responsible.” Retorted Malzahar.
“At least he is talking!”
“Okay, Okay.” Said Gentlemen Cho’gath as he put his talons together. “Let’s just try to find a way to get him home. We already have all the info we need.”
“He won’t even fit through the door at this rate.” Mumbled Malzahar.
“Well we as friends shall help him. Come on help me roll him out.”
Cho’gath put his talons and gloved claws on Kog’maw’s side and started to role him. Ahri and Malzahar did the same and started to strain.
“Ewww~” Squealed Ahri “My hands are getting sucked into his fat again!”
“Stop complaining, everyone is trying to help you.” Muttered Malzahar as he pushed into the fat.
The group rolled Kog’maw past the Demacians.
“Thank you for the hospitality!” Called Cho’gath over Garen’s drunken sobs, “We are in debt to you. If you need some help with anything we will be glad to help.”
“No problem, see you some time later!” Said Jarvan as he strained to unbind Garen’s arms from Lux’s legs.
The group left the dining hall as the massive doors slowly closed behind them, cutting off Garen’s drunken rantings.
“And-And, he doesn’t even have the pro-proper pectoral girrrrtth!-” *SLAM*
Morgana paced through her bakery.
From her bedroom to the kitchen, to the shop front, out the door, then back all the way to her bedroom once more.
It has been nearly a week since she spurned Kog’maw from her home. She felt so painful when the little void being reached for her hand, but an unforgettable rage surfaced every time she tried to approach Kog’maw.
It felt so odd, so conflicting, so unfair.
Morgana looked around the bakery kitchen. The air reeked of burned flour and pastries. She couldn’t focus on anything and couldn’t produce a single loaf of bread. Her store had been closed for the last few days and Morgana couldn’t feel the joy of baking anymore.
Finally she decided to creep back into bed and let sleep subdue her sadness.
She was just about to re-enter her bedroom door until a loud crash shook the house.
Morgana recognized the sing song voice anywhere. She was contemplated going into her bedroom and just locking the door till her guests went away. But then she realized that she would have one more door to fix if she did.
“Whatever.” Thought Morgana as she strode towards front door, “I need some company anyways.”
She walked through the burnt kitchen and then through another door. Sure enough at the door stood Luxanna Crownguard, Sona Buvelle, Ahri, and a new guest she didn’t expect to tag along.
“What do you want half-dragon.” Said Morgana in a bored tone of voice.
“I’m just here on the request of Luxanna, don’t get ahead of yourself.” Replied Shyvanna as she wrinked her nose.
“What’s that smell?” Inquired Lux as she skipped carefree into the bakery. The rest followed suit. “It smells like Shyvanna’s room”
“What? It’s true!”
Ahri snickered and went up beside Shyvanna.
“All my smexy brings the boys to my room!” Ahri said in a singsong voice, “All your stanky brings the boys to their knees.”
Ahri and Luxanna burst into laughter as they held their stomachs. Sona blushed immensely and Shyvanna’s face showed a strong red blush through her blue skin.
Morgana smiled as she remembered all the times she spent with Luxanna and Ahri. It felt so nostalgic and sore when she tried to feel for Kog’maw at her side but only grasped air.
“Oooh!” cried Lux as she jumped up.
“Jeez, you’re too hyper all the time!” said Shyvanna as she pursed her lips.
“We’ll bake for little Kog’maw!”
“Why would he want that?”
Lux ignored Shyvanna and skipped over to Morgana putting both hands on her shoulder.
“We can bring him some of your famous pecan cream piiiiiee!--”
Lux stopped mid sentence as she saw Morgana’s eyes start to water.
“Oh dear, I’m sorry I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it!” Lux turned around and whispered, “Did I say something wrooong?”
The rest of the group looked worried and shrugged.
“Sona floated towards the door and turned the knob.
A burst of burn air swept through the room.
“Oh My Ewww!”
“Eeew Eeew Eeew!”
“I don’t smell anything.” Said Shyvanna bluntly as she watch Sona move rapidly away from the bakery door.
“No he will not be available for summoning” Said Malzahar to a Summoner at their door.
Kog’maw had started to move once more, but he still refused to talk much. He would simply walk through the halls of the Void Being’s living Quarters of the League Institute silently. He would show up to dinner, eat silently and leave to go off wandering around.
“But sir, Kog’maw is mobile, he looks perfectly fine for matches.” Protested the Summoner.
“Trust me on this one,” Said Malzahar in a bored tone of voice. “He is far from fine.”
“Why hello m’boy!” Boomed a voice. The Summoner Froze.
Gentlemen Cho’gath showed up behind Malzahar and shoved his face between the two.
“I’m really sorry, our little Kog’maw is feeling quite unwell. I’m sure him re-entering the arenas will bring more harm than good.”
“But, we can try to put him in and see-”
“I’m sure of it.” Said Cho’gath as he smiled revealing all of his razor sharp teeth.
The Summoner turned and scurried off down the hall rapidly.
“Do give my regards to the High Counselors won’t you?” called Gentlemen Cho’gath to the summoner.
“Well that solves that.”
*Sigh* Malzahar floated back to their quarters closely followed by Cho’gath.
“Where did you go?” Asked Malzahar as they walked down the hall.
“I called down to Morgana’s bakery!” Cho’gath Replied cheerfully.
“What did they want you there for?” Malzahar said as he raised a brow.
“Oh they were having a bake off! For the ones they hold most dear!”
“…Sounds like s***”
“Oh don’t be such a spoil sport.”
Malzahar looked more and more glum by the second. They approached the long dining table and sat down.
Cho’gath looked at Malzahar and he raised his own brow. “Why so serious?”
“Lemme guess” Started Malzahar, “Ahri is there?”
“Yes.” Answered Cho’gath. “Luxanna, Ahri, Sona, and Shyvanna are all there to cheer our little fallen angel up.”
“Wha- Dragon lady’s there too?”
“Yes. Why? Is that a problem?”
“Oh there is gonna be a huge mess that we will somehow be roped into cleaning up.” Said Malzahar as he slouched into his chair.
“How do you know for sure?” Asked Cho’gath.
“Anything involving fun and Lux will end up blown up in some way. That Fox will only make it worse.”
“Oh don’t be so hard on Ahri, she is trying so hard to get us to like her, and I personally think it’s already worked!”
“Slash no face.” Retorted Malzahar.
“Trust me, m’boy,” Said Cho’gath cheerfully as he poured himself a cup of tea, “I’m sure our beautiful Ahri is making pastries of purity and delectable taste!
“Ahri why does your loaf of bread look like a pair of breasts?” Asked Shyvanna as she observed the group baking.
“Oh!” Quipped Ahri as she heard Shyvanna’s comment, “Then I got it spot on. Don’t worry Shy, it also has a pure and delectable taste.”
“I seriously doubt that.”
“Well I think it looks PERFECT!” Cheered Lux as she zipped past the two carrying her own tray of badly shaped cookies.
Shycanna looked at Lux’s cookies and recoiled.
“Why did you make your cookies shaped like Mundo’s face? And why is he blond?!”
“It’s supposed to be Ezreal’s face!” Cried Lux in protest as she puffed up her cheeks and stamped her feet. Some of her cookies fell onto the group and cracked.
“Why is your bread shaped so oddly?!” Shyvanna said loudly as she frowned, “Isn’t bread supposed to look like… Bread!!?”
“Everyone’s creations are different came a voice.”
The group turned to see Sona carrying a tray of her own cookies. They were delicately decorated and smelled heavenly.
Luxanna, Ahri and Shyvanna immediately took a one and started munching.
“Oh, these are so good!”
“See? Her cookies look at least normal.”
“I think these would be more appealing if there were shaped like boobs.”
Sona blushed immediately. “Not everything has to revolve around sexuality.”
“Well that explains how the boy’s eyes are always revolving around your chest.” Replied Ahri snickering.
Sona ignored her and turned to Shyvanna, “Why don’t you try to create your own?”
“I don’t know how to work the fire hole.”
“I think she means the oven!” Said Lux with her mouth full.
“Yea, that thing.” Said Shyvanna, “I just get food from the Dining halls.”
“Well have you had any experience in culinary arts?” Asked Sona.
“I fried a boar once.”
“With what?” asked Lux.
“With myself…” said Shyvanna getting tired of the questions.
“So you like breathed fire or something?”
“Nooooo!” Said Shyvanna sarcastically, “I used a match!”
Ahri burst into laughter and Lux puffed up her cheeks, “I was just asking…”
“It is good to see you retain your sense of humour.” Said Sona, “We should attend to the one who does not even retain her former self.”
The group turned to see Morgana sulking with her face down on one of the tables.
A purple cloud hung over her and it occasionally shot purple lightning at some of the bread causing them to burst into flame.
“Oh dear this will be real tough” commented Ahri as she starred at the menacing cloud.
“Oh it won’t be that bad!” Said Lux cheerfully, “I’m sure she’ll react to something.”
“Yes,” Sneered Shyvanna, “Why don’t you try feeding her some of Ahri’s boob bread?”
The Reluctant Party Goer
Malzahar floated down the hall dragging his feet as he proceeded through the corridors.
It was an odd sight to behold as Summoners stopped to view the spectacle.
“I can’t believe I’m doing this… I swear that Fox is going to make me eat some black crust made filled with her own hair or something.”
*Half an hour ago*
‘Oh come on! Malzy M’boy.” Said Gentleman Cho’gath as he started stuffing bottles of wine and crumpets into a basket. “You need to learn to socialize.”
“Noooooo~” Droned Malzahar on and on as he read into the books he borrowed from the Demacian Library.
“It would seriously do you good.”
“I’m busy trying to find out what made Morgana want to hit Kog’maw.”
“Well instead of finding out the cause how about working on a solution.” Said Cho’gath, “This little gathering may just be what we need to cheer our little Kog’maw up a little.”
“Or we could just go find the cupids and blast them to bits until they tell us how to fix Morgana.”
“No No No!” Cried Cho’gath as he was at the end of his rope. “Malzahar do you not see?!”
“There is no grand battle to be won! No huge slaughter to save the princess, no dragon or ancient spell or anything of the sort, just love~”
Malzahar wrinkled his nose.
“Alright, so it may sound disgusting coming from a different being like me, but you of all people should understand!”
Malzahar didn’t speak.
“You... You had someone didn’t you?” Said Cho’gath as he walked closer.
There was a silence between the two.
“Do go on, this will be gold for my Gentlemen’s News blog.”
“No no, never mind, please do tell, or as I should say… ~let it all out~”
Malzahar frowned at the distinct quote from the Crimson Reaper, but he knew that telling someone would be better. For both of them anyways.
“When I was still a Seer... before the void, and before the power. I was smitten with a woman from my village.”
“Oh so you weren’t as the void historians recorded: ****.”
“WHAT? When the heck did the Void Historians get that term?”
“Oh there was this fight for rights thing that went on a couple of years ago, I think it is considered normal now. It’s not something to be ashamed of.”
“I’m, NOT ****—How did my story get dragged to this random topic of discussion!?”
“Oh right, do carry on!”
Malzahar sighed and slumped back into his chair with his pile of books.
He looked into the fire and started to recall his memories once more.
“She was a flower. A flower in the lifeless land of the Shurmia desert. Even though I was a Seer we still found time to spend together.”
The fire crackled reminding Malzahar even more of his origins.
“I was considered relatively good-looking even if I was a Seer, and she respected my Seer duty and loved me as a man.”
Cho’gath sat down and readied a box of tissues for the sad story to come.
“We would ride on horses or camels over the Dunes and through the sands of the desert. We would occasionally stumble upon hidden oases in the sands and spend our time frolicking in the cool waters… Paradise.”
“But she was the daughter of a wealth merchant, and I had my obligation of being a Seer.’
“Oh dear me here it comes.” Said Gentlemen Cho’gath as he started snatching up tissues.
“One day, her father declared her hand in marriage to another even more wealthy merchant.”
Malzahar was motionless as he spoke; every word seemed to get colder and colder despite the fire.
“I, who had barely anything to my name, just the council of men who aided my obligations of being a Seer, and a small house with little possessions. I could raise a family with her yes; we could live like we were before. But it was arranged, and there was nothing we could do about it… She left for her new husband, and I left for the void.”
*Sniff Sniff* “She must have been devastated to be parted with you.” Sniffed Cho’gath.
“… No.” said Malzahar abruptly.
“Are you kidding me? Her new husband has everything she could ever want. He has a palace, he’s a hunk, and he has silk clothing and pillows for his harem of women.”
“Yea and they get a bar, and a pool. I mean come on, a pool in the middle of a dry desert that you don’t have to walk miles to find. Heck he has more gold from his business that he can use. Half of his furniture is plated in gold. And most of all he has air conditioning.”
“Yea he has slave children tied to the wall as they blow out air constantly.”
“Wow… well, well you must have been devastated?”
“Yea I was, but heck look at me now!” Malzahar got up and floated around. “I can friggin float! That’s like second best to flying, and look-look at this!”
Malzahar started to moon walk in the air.
“That hoe can go drown in her new pool for all I care.”
“My word I can’t even use this for my Gentlemen’s Blog.” Said Gentlemen Cho’gath.
“Well I never said it was a sad story.” Replied Malzahar as he floated back to his seat.
“Well maybe you can find true love now?”
“With that Fox? No.”
“Oh she is a delightful woman and she looks gorgeous with you.”
“Yea I’m sure she looked gorgeous with the hundreds of men she has been with before too.” Sneered Malzahar.
“She does not do that!”
“You’re right, she probably looked gorgeous eating the hearts of the hundreds of men she has been with.”
*Sigh* “There is no getting to you is there?”
“Glad you finally realized that crucial point.”
“Well I have one last trick up my sleeve.”
“Go for it.”
“I’ve made a deal with Luxanna that if you go and taste test a bit of their pasteries Luxanna will let you read a book only meant for Royal eyes.”
“This isn’t all the books on cupids?” Said Malzahar raising a brow as he gestured to the pile of books in his study.
“Not exactly. It is a book on spells, ancient and potentially new. It is in the possession of Jarvan the Fourth.”
“How did she manage to get access to it?”
“Well…” Said Gentlemen Cho’gath awkwardly, “After hours and hours of begging and nagging to her older brother, she finally managed to get Garen to request a peek to Jarvan. And naturally Jarvan agreed to the request of his best friend.”
Malzahar thought for a bit.
“Oh by the way, you will have to bring this basket and Kog’maw over too.”
Malzahar looked at the basket full of wine of crumpet on his arm, then he looked at the leash in his other arm while he lead a slugging fat Kog’maw out the doorsteps.
“This better be worth it.”
Edit: Unfortunately I realized that my new chapter was a terrible piece of writing.
It made Garen seem like a way too much of a complete idiot. Not to mention it crossed my golden rule of no extreme vulgarity.
Thus I deleted the part and plan to write anew.
Sorry for that piece of terrible writing, it seemed like a good idea at first but then I was like
As I read it over more and more.
So yeap. I'm gonna try to touch that up a bit. Sorry for the wait!
Eat, and Eat.
“Well, hello there handsome~”
Malzahar sighed as Ahri answered the door of the bakery
It was inevitable that he would have to meet Ahri, but he did not expect her to be attempting to force feed him-
“Is that a pair of breasts?” Said Malzahar slightly disgusted.
Malzahar, Ahri, Lux, Shyvanna, Sona, and a moody Morgana and Kog’maw were sitting around a table in the middle of the bakery.
Kog’maw was laying face down on the floor like a lump of flesh and Morgana had her head on the table with the storm cloud still hanging over her head.
“Come on eat up!” Pushed Ahri as she shoved her plate of bread into Malzahar’s face. “I made it myself, more so than you know it!”
“I understand how you feel, this is very insistant.” Came a voice that rang in the group’s head.
“I do understand what you ask of me Sona.” Said Malzahar as he sighed, “This will benefit Kog’maw as well.”
Malzahar looked down at the unmoving blob of fat.
“He needs more time, so long as she is willing to spend some time.”
Morgana shifted a bit.
“Regardless of the circumstances, I am here to… ~socciiallliizzze” Said Malzahar as he cringed through the last word.
“Oh goody!” Said Ahri cheerfully, “Then EAT!”
Malzahar looked down and raised his eyebrows.
“This loaf of bread looks like… a chest.”
“Sigh* yes, she insisted on making ones that have sexual innuendos.” Said Sona
*Sigh* “Really, the things I put myself through.” Malzahar said to himself, “Not to mention this thing is huge. How am I supposed to ea-“
“Oh Malzy!” cried Ahri cheerfully and blushing madly, “They’re huge because I used my real ones to cast to mold for the bread!”
The whole room went silent. Lux, Shyvanna, Sona, and Malzahar looked at Ahri with looks or disgust and surprise.
“What? It’s true.”
Lux’s face flushed as she puffed up her cheeks
“Aww don’t be sad Lux, you’ll grow bigger.” Teased Ahri, “Now come on!” Ahri shoved her boob bread into Malzahar’s face. “I put cream in them!”
The group sat down and tried each other’s creations.
Lux had made a tart filled with lemon and pecans. She abandoned her attempt at making Ezreal shaped cookies when all her work resulted in Mundo faces.
Sona made a variety of cookies and pastries, ranging from sponge cakes and cookies. She was second only to Morgana in baking.
Shyvanna attempted to make some cookies, however her skills with the oven and dough were lacking. Her bread was just a charred lump with random bits sticking out. But she was content with it and munched away by herself.
The group talked about everything they could get to, the League, the battles, and to the uncomforted of Malzahar, dating and what they prefer in a man.
“Oh! And he has to have a at least a six-pack-“
“Lux, Ezreal doesn’t have a six-pack” Interrupted Ahri, “he has a four pack.”
“Whatever!~ It’s still pretty cool-Wait! How do you know he has a four pack!?”
Ahri threw her head back and laughed girl I know all the guy champions body inside out!”
“That isn’t even proper grammar!”
“What are the Demacians judging grammar now?”
“Ahri has a peep hole in the men’s locker room for those who use it.” Said Shyvanna bluntly.
“Wha- How did you know?” Said Ahri bewildered.
“I can smell fox coming from the men’s room whenever a match is getting ready. Plus Ahri doesn’t know all of the guy’s body. Only a few Demacians and Ionians use that locker room.”
“Yes and Jay four’s six pack looks lovely!” smirked Ahri.
Shyvanna fumed smoke out of her ears. “Whatever.”
“Malzy how come you never show your delicate little body in that locker-room?”
“Well now I will never consider stepping in that sweat hole seeing as you just told me that you peep like a stalker all the time.”
“Oh, it’s not stalking! Its… creative sight-seeing.”
“Well then why don’t you just go walk through the Demacian preserve?” Suggested Shyvanna with her mouth full of charred bread.
“PPPFFFTT! Boorrring~” That’s like you eating a mouse when you usually eat a roast boar.” Said Ahri still focused on Malzahar.
“I don’t eat mice!”
“Well then you get my point.”
“Weeeelp, I’m done here.” Said Malzahar as he got out of his seat.
“Aw you’re leaving?” Said Ahri as she pouted.
“Yes, finally. Luxanna, may we discuss something at the side.”
“What? You’re going out with Lux?!” cried Ahri surprised and she cast a dirty look at Lux.
“Yes I am!” lied Lux as she cast a look of triumph at Ahri and walked outside with Malzahar.
“PFFT He’ll get bored of that washboard in no time!” Ahri yelled after them.
“Did you really have to do that?” Said Malzahar unamused.
“Just lemme have that little moment of happiness.” Said Lux cheerfully, “As promised here is the permission slip from the Crownguard family to go look at the royal records.”
“Please note you are not allowed to look at any other records other than the ones on cupids.” Said Lux in a serious tone. “Jarvan said that we were already stretching it by letting you see some of the records. But he seems lax on the rest of the regulations.”
“I’m sure he is.” Said Malzahar as he took the slip and floated off. He stopped and turned his head, “Take care of the Kog’maw while I’m gone, I’ll try to get back as soon as I can.”
“Will do” Said Lux as she walked back into the bakery.
As Lux opened the door Ahri’s voice rang out, “LUX! GET IN HERE WE’RE GONNA USE YOUR CHEST TO CAST A BAKING MOLD!”
Malzahar speed off as fast as he could.
The Law of the Living Arrow.
“Dude err… I got something I think you should know.” Said Nick.
“What?” Said Bob as he flew through the Cupid offices.
It was a regular day flying through the forest trees and the offices were busy at work. Work proceeded as usual and no problems have been reported since the drunken incident.
“It’s about that fallen angel and that… void thing” Said Nick in a quiet voice.
“What? What happened this time? I thought we broke the two up.” Said Bob surprised.
“Yea but their friends are trying to get them back together dude.”
“Pfffft* We used the black arr-“
“Shut-It!” whispered Nick rashly, “We weren’t supposed to in that condition!”
“Whatever man we got our positions back after, everything worked out great.”
“But what if they get too close.”
“Yea I know what happens if they get too close.”
“Yea… so are we gonna do anything about it?” Asked Nick
“Uh… No? Why should we?” scoffed Bob
“Because we caused the problem in the first place?”
“Dude I don’t care about that little problem any longer. Let them go sort it out when they get close, not our problem anymore. The Regulations free us from the responsibility if we are finished the job and it doesn’t affect the cupid system. Regardless of what happens it is their path, we just put them on which one, they have to walk it.”
“…Alright then.” Said Nick resigning to his partner’s decision.
The two cupids continued on with their lunch break and the day began to pass.
Too Loud too Enderly
Malzahar floated through the gates of the Demacian castle. The guards that would normally bar his way stepped aside once they saw the golden slip in Malzahar’s hand.
Malzahar floated deeper and deeper into the city-like castle until finally he reached the main keep.
He saw Jarvan waiting for him at the gates talking Garen.
“Welcome Malzahar!” Boomed Jarvan from afar, “Do you have the slip?”
“Right here.” Said Malzahar holding up the golden slip.
“Thank you” Said Jarvan as he took it and pocketed it.
“So, is Luxanna doing alright?” Asked Garen as the trio walked into the keep.
“She’s fine, having fun no doubt.”
“Oh, good I was worried she would get herself into some trouble with that fox.” Said Garen having learned his lesson with Ahri.
“Well she is making breast molds?”
“What?” Said both Demacians as they continued to walk towards the record keep.
“Uh, I don’t know how to explain it, I didn’t see anything because I left before seeing anything, but I think Ahri is just gonna make a clay mold of Lux’s chest and make bread with it. Ugh I don’t even know or want to think about it. Women these days.”
“Waiiiiwaiiiwaiiii-t… So Lux is letting other girls play with her body?!” Cried Garen as he turned red and nervous.
“I’m sure it’s harmless, Ahri wouldn’t dare hurt her friends.” Said Malzahar uncaringly
Jarvan put a hand on Garen’s shoulder. “Let them be old friend, I’ve learned a lesson having commanded troops with Shyvanna.”
“What is that?”
“Women sometimes do things we men don’t understand, and if we argue with them they turn into fire breathing dragons of hate and rage.”
“But Lux won’t turn into a beast of hate and rage!” Protested Garen as he turned, no doubt wanting to run to the bakery.
“Have you tried arguing with them at their time of the month?” Asked Jarvan? “I’m sure it isn’t just Shyvanna.”
Jarvan laughed and continued walking. “Think ahead. If you walk into Lux while she is playing with the other girls and it is a touchy moment, don’t you think she might just want to blast you with her staff?”
“…” Garen was silent and turned back to walk with Jarvan and Malzahar.
“Couldn’t of said it better myself.” Said Malzahar.
The trio ascended the stairs to the mid keep, where the records for the royal family were held.
They arrived at yet another gate with a small fragile old man sitting at a desk sorting papers.
“Mathus.” Called Jarvan as they neared the desk. “Mathus!”
The old man didn’t respond.
Jarvan walked up right beside the old man.
“The old man looked up and put on his glasses.
“Oh hello there Jarman… How goes the… the… Hello there Jerman!”
“… how old is he?” Asked Malzahar to Garen.
“They say he was here before they built this castle.” Said Garen, “I think he might be even older than Yi.”
“MAATHUS WE NEEEED TO SEE THE RECORDS ON CUUPIIDDS!” Shouted Jarvan.
“Hes used to this, we both are” Said Garen to Malzahar.
“Wha? Why we don’t have anything on cupboards… oh maybe one, that virginity stealing cursed one?”
“Wait what there’s a virginity stealing- NO! NO! MATHUS I MEAN CUPIDS”
“Cupcakes? We have one on the child eating cupcake.”
“YESSSS” bellowed Jarvan as he nodded slowly.
“Alrighty then Jerven, I think we have a bit. Oh and are we letting that… my scott is he floating?”
“YES, HE’S A PROPHET OF THE VOID.” Shouted Jarvan
“Whats that?” Said Mathus as he struggled to hear Jarvan’s shouting.
“HE USES VOID ENERGY!”
“Oh, I see, you kids and your new hip floaty contraptions. Like the new iDemacia five or some stuff.”
“So uh… let’s see.” Mathus turned a lever at the desk and the gate for the record keep cranked open.
“Cupids, Cupids, Cupids.”
The trio followed Mathus through the golden keep. Not a single speck of dust to be found on any of the shelves or scrolls that lined the shelves.
It bared strong resemblance to the Demacian library, but slightly smaller with a single floor.
“Cupids, Cupids. Ahh, I found the scroll on the virginity stealing cupboard if you want it.”
“Uh… THAT’S OK MATHUS, JUST SAVE IT FOR ME LATER, WE NEED TO FOCUS ON THE CUPIDS.”
“Ok then Jurvan” said Mathus as he tucked the scroll into a sachel hanging from his shoulders.
Malzahar and Garen looked at Jarvan with a raised brow.
“… What? A prince must know the factors that can threaten his kingdom.” Said Jarvan.
“Even a virginity stealing cupboard?” Asked Malzahar half amused.
“Well I’d rather it not touch Luxanna.” Said Jarvan winning Garens approval immediately.
“Ah, here we are cupids.” Mathus pulled a scroll from a shelf that seemed to be slightly pink in colour compared to the rest of the golden shelves.
“THANK YOU!” Said Jarvan.
“… Did you find the scroll on the cupids?” Asked Mathus as if the last half an hour didn’t even happen.
“… NO I THINK I’LL JUST TAKE THE SCROLL IN YOUR SACHEL MATHUS.” Shout Jarvan whose voice was getting hoarse from trying to communicate with the century old man.
“Oh, theres a scroll here. Here you go my lord. Have a nice read.”
Mathus escorted the trio out of the record keep and cranked the gate shut.
The trio left the keep and headed to a lounge.
“Ugh… I swear one of these days.” Said Jarvan as he rubbed his throat.
“Well that was entertaining if I do say so myself.” Said Malzahar as Jarvan handed the scroll to him.
“Hmm… this scroll is only describing one thing about the cupids.”
“What is it about?” Asked Garen as he planted himself in a large couch.
“Something about a black arrow, its very detailed.”
“Well take your time; I have a scroll to read myself.” Said Jarvan as he opened his own scroll, “Seriously I can’t believe a virginity stealing cupboard exists.”
“Sounds like something the fox would like.” Muttered Malzahar as he began to read his own scroll.
Time passed as the trio sat in the lounge.
Garen fell asleep and began snoring and drooling on the couch. Malzahar and Jarvan were still slowly taking in every detail of the scroll and Jarvan even began hypothesizing laws on cupboard inspections.
The minute hand on the golden clock ticked slowly, its sound drowned out by Garen’s snores.
Suddenly Malzahar stood up from his chair knocking it down
“Wha! Wha??” Sputtered Garen as he woke up.
“Malzahar what is it?” Asked Jarvan with his hand still on the quill making cupboard laws.
“This last part on the scroll… The Black Arrow”
“I’m going back to the bakery!” shouted Malzahar as he dropped the scroll and sped off.
Jarvan picked it up and scanned the page for the last part. He then threw the page down and sped out after Malzahar with Garen close behind him stumbling a bit from still being half asleep.
“Ahhh wait wait, my legs asleep!”
Malzahar sped through the gates as guards shouted at him to halt. They were no doubt suspicious of Malzahar as he sped through the castle grounds to the exit.
Halfway to the door Jarvan and Garen each riding a horse and Jarvan leading one by the reins intercepted Malzahar.
“You will never make it there at that speed, get on!” Shouted Jarvan, he then turned to the guards surrounding Malzahar. “MAKE WAY! AND OPEN THE GATES!”
The guards scrambled to their orders immediately and hauled the gates open.
The gates groaned under the sudden stress and movement
Malzahar floated on the spare horse and the trio rode through the barely opened castle gates through a sliver of space.
Cast and Mold
With Malzahar gone the girls were left with a brooding angel and fat lump of sadness to deal with.
“Come on Lux!” I even got the clay ready for you!” whined Ahri as she desperately tried to take off Lux’s armour.
“No!- Get off, I will not!” Said Lux as she tried desperately to throw Ahri off her back.
Thump* Lux managed to push Ahri off, and Ahri landed with a thump on the floor.
“Hmph!” Ahri puffed up her cheeks, “Fine! Sona? Indulge me?”
Sona immediately shook her head and folded her arms.
Ahri looked at Shyvanna. “I don’t even need to ask you to know the answer. You’re all no fun.”
She then caught sight of Morgana.
“Hmm… Hey girls you guys want to have some fun?” Said Ahri slyly.
She motioned them to huddle around her, at first Lux, Shyvanna and Sona hesitated, but slowly went over.
“I can make Morgana open up to Kog’maw again” Whispered Ahri .
“What? How?” Said Lux bewildered.
“Yea both are just sacks of fat,” Said Shyvanna bluntly, “the only difference is the fat is just in different places.”
“Kog’maw is still willing to try, but its Morgana that isn’t, we need to get her out of her shell.”
“By embarrassing her.”
“… what?” Said Lux raising a brow.
“Get Kog’maw up.”
The girls went over to Kog’maw and crouched down.
“Hey~…Hey~ Koggy?” Poked Ahri, “Wake up~”
“No~” Came a muffled gurgle from Kog’maw.
“I can make Morgana like you again.”
“…Me tries lots but she no like.” Whined Kog’maw silently as if he was scared Morgana would hear.
“But I’m a girl-”
“Wow.” Scoffed Shyvanna from the side.
“Ahri frowned at her and continued. “Sooo I know what she likes~”
Kog’maw opened one eye. He looked as if he was hesitating but then he opened the rest and slowly slumped himself up. “Pleaaaase me want Morgy again.”
“Done.” Said Ahri and she gave him a big hug. “You have to do what I say ok?”
Ahri got up and turned to the girls.
“Alright let’s get started.” She said quietly
“What are you planning?” Asked Sona
“Let’s just say I found a use for that molding clay again.”
Morgana was still lying face down on the table.
She felt tired and sad, she just wanted to sleep, but something just wouldn’t let her.
“Morgana~” Came a voice.
She didn’t feel like answering
“Morgannaaaaa~” Came the voice again, only this time irritatingly sweet and right in front of her.
*Sigh* “Whaaaat?” Said Morgana as she groaned.
Suddenly she felt two pairs of hands grab both her arms and pull her upper body up from the table.
She saw Ahri smiling mischeviously in front of her with a large clump of clay.
Ahri pushed it right in front where Morgana had placed her head and with a swift movement, Lux and Shyvanna pushed her face and upper body into the clay.
For a moment she couldn’t breathe as the hands held her head and chest into the clay.
Then the clay was pulled off of her and she took a deep breathe.
“What? Why? What are you doing!?” Cried Morgana stunned and bewildered. She saw across from the room Sona was busy covering Kog’maw’s face with clay too, only his tongue stuck out for air.
“What is this? This isn’t how you use a casting mold!?” Cried Morgana angry and confused. She stomped off too her room and slammed the door.
“Morgana! Come back! Aren’t you gonna help us make the bread?” Came a Lux’s voice from the door.
“GO AWAY!” Cried Morgana as she fell into her bed.
As she finally slipped slowly into sleep, she heard a quiet whining voice from the other side of the door
The price of Touch.
The room felt dingy, and damp.
Morgana looked up from her cool, tear-soaked pillow and stared at the bedpost. She didn’t feel like getting up, but she also felt as if staying in bed wouldn’t do her much good.
It was nearing night, and the skies were dark with heavy clouds.
Soon it started to rain.
Morgana got out of her bed and slumped her bedroom shelf.
*Sigh*, “They probably already left. I’m… terrible.”
Slowly, without knowing her hand slid around a picture book and took it from the shelf.
Morgana looked at the book she randomly pulled out. It was Kog’maw’s picture book that she and he put together. Oddly enough, the sight of both of them hugging each other tightly on the cover didn’t infuriate her. It felt warm and nostalgic. She opened the book and immediately saw a collection of pictures put together by Kog’maw and herself.
Pictures of her baking, him eating, and then puking.
Morgana chuckled as she saw Kog’maws crying face after he puked out one of Lux’s latest creations.
The picture was taken by Ahri, who gave the pastry to Kog to eat in the first place. There were the pictures taken by Summoners of Morgana and Kog’maw attempting to waltz around the ballroom during the Champion Banquet. Her glistening purple dress caught the eyes of many people in the picture. There were pictures taken by herself of Kog’maw working around the bakery.
Pictures of him covered in flour, dough, burned bread, on fire, in the oven.
All made her feel so warm inside.
Suddenly she heard a large bang outside. As if something heavy fell on the floor.
Then a thump. This time right outside her door.
Slowly the door creaked open and a sliver of light pierced the dark dank room.
Morgana squinted and saw standing outside was Kog’maw and the rest of her visitors
The bakery’s light shone in brightly and a sudden gust of sweet pastries flowed into the room washing away the dank air.
“Come on out Morgana, we- Kog’maw made something for you.”
Morgana’s eyes slowly grew accustom to the light and she saw what they were presenting to her.
It was a statue. A statue made of bread, molded to be shaped like her and Kog’maw. She walked towards them, but her knees grew weak and she stumbled.
Ahri and Sona ran over and helped her up.
“Come on girl this isn’t the time to fall down, he’s waiting!”
“He poured his heart into this; please do not let him down.”
Morgana struggled but she managed to steady herself.
“I know, I just feel numb all the sudden.”
She looked up at the statues saw how they were made.
There were a wide variety of fruits and candy stuffed into the dough to replicate facial features and clothing. And the dough that comprised the majority of the statues resembled that of her pecan pies.
The statues were cut off at the waist. They showed everything above to a surprising amount of accuracy though.
Standing beside the statues was Morgana’s little Kog’maw.
Lux and Shyvanna stood at the sides, everyone was covered in floor.
He stood there nervously and fiddled with his tiny claws.
Morgana, stumbled towards the statues.
Ahri and Sona immediately came to help steady her. For once in the last week Morgana smiled.
They approached the statues and they stopped.
No one knew what to do next, Morgana and Kog’maw just starred at each other.
Then after a pause, Kog’maw bit off a piece of his statue and used his tongue to present the piece to Morgana.
Tears fell down Morganas eyes as she smiled and extended her hand.
She took the piece and put it in her mouth.
It was sweet. Sweeter than anything she has had in a while.
Kog’maw retracted his tongue and held out his tiny claw.
“Pleeeaase. Come backs~”
She couldn’t refuse and held out her hands.
The moment they touched Morgana smiled, and so did everyone else.
The bakery grew warm and it felt as if the sun had risen again.
But then the air grew cold.
Morgana’s eyes flared and she threw up.
“MORGANA!” Cried Lux as she ran to her.
But before she could get back a black pulse of energy was emitted from Morgana and it threw them all back. Kog’maw was the only one who seemed unaffected.
“What are you doing?!” Shouted Shyvanna as she steamed dangerously with rage.
Morgana looked up and they all gasped.
A black corrupted mist slipped out of Morgana’s eyes, nose and mouth.
Morgana’s face contorted with rage and the mist gathered in her hands.
With a sudden flare of black energy the mist formed into a sleek black arrow, and with one swift movement she threw it like a spear, plunging it into Kog’maws chest.
Kog’maw was thrown to the floor and was motionless.
The black arrow disappeared, and so did Morgana’s rage.
Her features slackened, her face surprised. The atmosphere returned to the warmth of the bakery. But Kog’maw was on the floor motionless.
Morgana fell to her knees and buried her face into her hands. She desperately tried to crawl to Kog’maw, with her legs having failed her.
But Shyvanna would have none of it.
Her bodily features contorted partially and her single right arm twisted into a scaly arm with huge talons.
With a single sweep she sent Morgana flying threw the wall of the bakery.
The trio rode through the harsh rain as the wet drops hit their face like bullets
Their steeds were being urged to move as fast as possible and even then it seemed so slow to Malzahar.
“What’s so urgent?” called Jarvan as he rode closely behind Malzahar.
“The scroll and the effect of what put Morgana under this state!”
“They must not touch!”
“Then we better hurry!” Called Garen who was riding alongside Jarvan, “our horses are bleeding from their nostrils! We’re pushing them too hard!”
“Phhaaa!” Spat Garen, “What the…”
The trio looked up to the sky.
“This rain is black! Its bitter but it melts away!” Said Garen as he looked at the black water sliding down his armour.
“We’re too late.” Said Malzahar under his breath.
Smoke rose over the horizon and the Malzahar’s eyes widened.
Suddenly the horse below him convulsed and slammed to the floor.
It was dead tired.
Malzahar was thrown into the air.
He flew for a bit before hovering and recomposed himself. He then immediately began speeding for the bakery.
Jarvan and Garen got off their horses to avoid the same fate, and sprinted after Malzahar.
Smoke and Rubble
The bakery was red and smoking.
Despite the rain the fire that raged on inside was intense.
There was a massive hole in the wall where the bricks had shattered. Dust and smoke floated about despite the heavy rain.
Malzahar raced up to the rubble.
He heard a groan.
“Morgana!” Malzahar plunged his hands into the brinks and glass ignoring the pain.
He clawed and dug until finally he was able to pull out the fallen angel.
“Hey! Hey!” Malzahar tried to lift Morgana out from rubble. But he felt an intense heat burst from the smoke of the bakery and ducked down.
A massive blast of flame shot out from the smoke and grazed the tip of his headpiece.
The cloth burned and Malzahar tore away the cloth revealing his black purplish hair.
A furious roar erupted from the smoke and a massive dragon emerged.
It swiped at the fallen angel and Malzahar leapt back, accidently dropping her back into the rubble.
The dragon turned and aimed a claw at Morgana’s head
With a swift cross of his arms Malzahar shot two beams of purple energy and the dragons claw’s smashed against the purple light.
“Shyvanna no!” Called a voice from the bakery.
A blast of light erupted behind the dragon and strings of bright energy wrapped themselves around the dragon’s arms.
The dragon would not relent, and was still snapping at Morgana.
With a charging cry Jarvan and Garen came up from behind Malzahar and tackled Shyvanna. Both gripping Shyvanna’s winged arms and pinned her back.
“Calm yourself! That’s an order!” Bellowed Jarvan as he struggled to keep Shyvanna pinned against the brick wall
The dragon’s eye’s widened and she froze
Slowly her limbs shrank and smoothed. There was a releasing groan as Shyvanna returned to her human form.
As the dust settled. Ahri, Luxanna, and Sona stepped out. They were covered in black soot and dust.
Malzahar looked around rapidly and saw a motionless lump lying beside the hole in the house.
“Kog’maw…” Malzahar moved towards the lump, but he noticed something was desperately trying to crawl towards Kog’maw.
Beside him Morgana tried desperately to crawl back inside the house. She was bleeding from her head and there was a large gash on the side of her hip.
Looking deeper into the smoke of the bakery, Malzahar finally knew what happened to Kog’maw
He lay on his back, eyes closed, mouth closed, and there was a black gaping gash on his chest.
Malzahar narrowed his eyes.
Morgana struggled to get onto her feet.
But the moment she got a small footing Shyvanna roared with rage and had to be held back Garen and Jarvan once more.
“What is the meaning of your actions!” Bellowed Jarvan, “Speak soldier!-”
“She killed Kog’maw!” Shyvanna cried out as she pointed at Morgana, “All he wanted to was to get back together with you and you kill him!”
A silence washed over the group. No one dared to make a noise.
The rain continued to pummel down and the smoke and dust slowly washed away.
Then finally Morgana spoke.
“Yes, I did.”
“Morgana that wasn’t you!” Said Lux in a hush voice.
“It was me. I drove that black spear into Kog’maw’s heart. I don’t know why but I did.”
“Shes evil!” Spat Shyvanna, “Don’t let her touch him.”
Morgana fell to her knees and sobbed.
Malzahar floated over and knelt down beside Kog’maw
He examined the wound and pondered. The black gash was still festering, and it looked nothing like Morgana’s work.
A bright flash caught Malzahar’s eyes.
A necklace was chained tightly around Kog’maw. A faint purple light seeped from it. And it was as if the light was keeping the black wound from spreading.
Malzahar didn’t hesitate.
He plunged his hand into the festering wound and his entire body began to roar with purple energy.
“What are you doing!” Morgana screamed as she saw Malzahar.
“Shut up!” Malzahar grit his teeth and his hair blazed purple.
Then with a roar he ripped his hand out. In it was a black festering energy.
It writhed and attempted to stab Malzahar’s arm, but the energy radiating from Malzahar surrounded it and impaled the black festering energy.
It shuddered and then fell still. Slowly it began to take form. A long shaft with ugly black feathers as quivers, and finally a savage gnarled arrow head at the end of the shaft.
Malzahar’s eyes narrowed.
“Wheres the closest healer?” Said Malzahar as he suppressed his anger.
Noticing his rage Jarvan quickly answered. “If we ride to the League and contact the head summoners we will have Soroka within an hour.”
“Yes?” Answered her voice hastily.
“Please do your best to suppress Kog’maws wound. He is still alive.”
Morgana let out a cry of relief. She looked to the wound; it was no longer black and writhing. She made a motion towards Kog’maw but Shyvanna stepped between them.
“You will not touch him!”
“No.” said Malzahar quickly, “This was not her fault… not even close.” His fist clenched.
The group began to move. Jarvan and Garen both heaved Kog’maw onto their steeds which have now caught up.
Sona began plucking rapidly at her strings, and a green energy began flowing from her instrument.
It wrapped itself around Kog’maw and began to glow.
Ahri and Shyvanna went over by Morgana and got her to her feet.
“Sorry.” Said Shyvanna, looking down at her feet.
“It’s fine. Please we need to save Kog.” Said Morgana. Her face covered in tears and blood.
Ahri ripped off a large piece of her already tiny skirt and blouse. She began to rapidly tie them together and formed makeshift bandages. She tied the largest piece around Morgana’s waist and the smaller one on her head.
“This might sting a bit” She said as she tightened the cloth to stop the bleeding.
“Lux!” Said Garen as he tied Kog’maw down to the horse. “If you will.”
“Yes brother.” Luxanna pointed her staff upwards and with a moment of concentration shot a white beam of light up into the sky.
It exploded when it hit the clouds and formed a red Demacian symbol.
The group stared into the distance, and surely enough, a beam of light shot up from the horizon.
“The League knows now.” Said Lux, interpreting the light, “We ride in that location, they shall meet us half way and then teleport us to the healers.”
The group began to move.
Garen and Jarvan lead the horses with Kog’maw strapped to them in the direction of the light. They ran lightly as not to hurt Kog’maw even more, and the horse trotted along smoothly.
Morgana was heaved onto the spare horse and they moved closely behind.
The rain stopped as they reached the main road, and they saw a large carriage with multiple hooded beings hurrying rapidly in its wake.
“The summoners, we must hurry.” Said Garen. “Over here!”
The carriage moved towards them and even more summoners emerged from the carriage.
They began carrying large crystals out from within the carriage and placed them in a circle around the group.
“Group up and hold on to each other tightly!” Said bearded summoner. “This shall take you to the healers, they are waiting for you.”
“We are ready!” responded Jarvan as he checked on the ropes holding Kog’maw.
The summoners began to focus. The crystals that formed a ring around the group began to glow, and slowly they lifted themselves off the ground.
A familiar ringing noise was emitted from the crystals.
“The same spell they use in the arena.” Thought Malzahar.
With a flash of light, the group appeared in a large hall.
Soroka and Gentlemen Cho’gath stood in front of them.
“Hurry.” Soroka in a soothing voice, “We are prepared for him.”
Kog’maw was rapidly rushed through the halls of the Institute.
The group hurried behind Soroka as she led the stretcher holding Kog’maw to their destination.
Cho’gath hurried behind them, as he struggled to make his usual large strides in the halls
“Hold on dear boy. We got you in jolly good hands!” Said Gentlemen Cho’Gath
They turned a corner and the walls began to shine green.
The walls were imbedded with shinning green crystals that’s emitted a strong Aura
“These crystals will slow down the bleeding, however from what I have heard, this is the least of the problem. We must hurry.”
The group arrived at a massive green doorway.
It swung open immediately to admit them.
Before them was a ring of massive green crystals.
They were the size of the nexus crystals of Summoner’s rift and they were imbedded into the ground.
“I know this place!” Said Ahri as she looked around. “This is where they took me when I got hurt outside the arena.”
“Yes.” Said Soroka. “This place is for champions who are hurt outside matches. The League hopes that I can preserve the lives of champions.”
Soroka waved at the summoners who were escorting the group.
They bowed and left the room.
The green door slammed shut behind them.
“This room is my own. The League requested me to save as many valuable lives as possible.”
“So everyone hurt can come here?” Asked Jarvan.
“No…” Soroka’s voice suddenly turned bitter, “The League’s perception of valuable is different. They only value what they think will benefit them the most. And they refuse to help prisoners and victims of war during a conflict.”
Soroka clenched her firsts, no doubt thinking of the horrors Warwick inflicted onto her people.
“No matter, we must focus. Please put Kog’maw in the center of the ring.”
Morgana, Jarvan and Cho’gath placed Kog’maw in the center and Jarvan and Cho’gath hastily left.
Morgana remained clinging tightly to Kog’maw.
“Please, He needs to be alone.” Said Soroka.
Morgana hesitated, but slowly she let go and rejoined the group in the outer edges of the room.
“I must ask a few important questions to determine what I’m dealing with before I start.”
Soroka turned to the group, her eyes glowed yellow.
“How long has this wound been on Kog’maw?” Stated Soroka, Her voice echoed slightly as a yellow aura intensified around her.
“About two hours.” Said Lux.
“And has anything happened since?”
“No, or at least not to Kog’maw.”
Soroka nodded and the light around her changed to a stronger yellow.
“What made the magic distinct?”
Ahri spoke this time. “It was black, and cold. It also looked… alive.” She shuddered.
“And who or what inflicted this wound?”
The room turned dead silent.
Soroka looked around. No one spoke and kept their heads down.
“No one knows?”
Morgana clenched her fists and shut her eyes. Tears rolled down her eyes as she stepped forward.
“I did it to him.” She whispered. The whisper carried through the entire room. “I struc-”
“No.” Interrupted Malzahar as he floated forward. With a hand he moved Morgana back and went up to Soroka.
“This is what struck Kog’maw.” Malzahar stated as he held out the black arrow.
Soroka froze. The energy around her flared.
“Why? Are the two not meant to be?” Said Soroka as she peered over to Morgana.
Malzahar looked back to Morgana. He saw her pain stricken eyes and looked into them.
A moment passed before he spoke.
“Impossible. But we are off focus. Can you heal him?”
“I’m not too sure, but I can clear out the vile from Kog’maw.”
Malzahar floated back as Soroka ascended from the ground. She began to hum. The crystals that formed the ring around her began to glow.
Slowly they raised themselves from their places in the ground and began to spin.
Soroka’s arms began to move, and a swirling energy from the crystals wrapped themselves around her arms.
With a swift movement she pointed at Kog’maws wound and the green energy shot into the wound.
Immediately a black ooze shot out of the wound. It writhed in the green energy and dissipated shortly.
Lux, Ahri and Sona recoiled in disgust as the rest of the group watched silently.
Morgana didn’t move. She stood firm as a statue as she stared into Kog’maw’s eyes.
Her tears continued to flow down her cheeks as time went on.
Hours passed as Soroka continued to work
She repeatedly directed the energy into Kog’maws wound clearing out the evil that infested Kog’maws wound.
The pulsating energy continued as the group dared not to move.
Finally Soroka stopped humming.
She descended to the ground, but did not move after.
The room grew cold. Soroka gathered up her strength and finally spoke.
“I’m sorry that’s all I can do.”
Morgana froze. Her heart sank as she felt her knees give way.
“I could clear out the blackness, but Kog’maw was already gone.”
Morgana burst out.
She wailed, cried and sobbed.
“I’m sorry, Kog I’m sorry, please don’t leave me! PLEASE!”
She scrambled to Kog’maws motionless body and grasped him as tight as she possibly could.
Her wailing as the only thing that echoed throughout the room as the group watched in grief.
Lux and Sona weeped and Ahri held her head in her tails trying her best to hide her own tears.
Jarvan and Garen stood frozen, as if giving their respect to a fallen soldier.
Malzahar and Cho’gath moved towards Kog’maw.
Malzahar felt warmth trickling down his cheeks. He wiped it away and spoke.
“How is he gone?”
Soroka sighed. “The infestation is gone, but the damage is done.”
Morgana’s wailing persisted.
“The blackness not only pierced his heart, but it destroyed it. It shredded and tore away at Kog’maws heart until there was nothing left.”
Malzahar and Cho’gath looked up suddenly
“Wait that’s it?!” Said Cho’gath obnoxiously.
The group looked up the two void beings.
“What do you mean that’s it?” Said Soroka in disbelief. “Kog’maw no longer has a heart!”
“PPFFFFTT he has 2 more.” Snorted Gentlemen Cho’gath, “You don’t think that Kog and I have only a single heart do you?”
Soroka’s jaw dropped as Malzahar grumbled and put a palm on his face.
“Heck losing one or two won’t hurt the ol’chap. Not to mention it’ll regrow in, oh about a week or so!”
Malzahar floated over to Kog’maw and with a swift kick and screams from Morgana, punted Kog’maw out of Morgana’s arms, across the room and into the wall.
There was a loud splat as Kog’maw hit the wall and his fat made contact with the cold green crystals.
There was another splat as he hit the ground.
Kog’maw screamed and started to cough.
“Kog’maw!” Cried Morgana as she rushed over.
“Owie!” Wailed Kog’maw as he coughed and hacked out various objects.
Morgana cried and shrilled with joy.
She scrambled over to Kog’maw as he continued to hack and cough.
“I thought- You- were gone!” Wailed Morgana as she sobbed uncontrollably, “I won’t hurt you again, I promise please don’t leave me!”
The rest of the group looked over.
“Wow, talk about desperate and clingy.” Chirped Ahri as she sniffed.
Lux nudged her and held out her handkerchief.
“Oh shut it, you cried too.”
“I did not!” protested Ahri as she puffed up her wet cheeks.
“Neither did I.” Said Shyvanna plainly.
The girls looked at her.
“What? I didn’t. You don’t believe me?”
“We know you didn’t cry, that’s what we’re surprised at…” Said Sona’s voice in their heads.
“Well people die around me all the time, it’s not anything new, nor anything I care about.”
“Wow. Talk about b****.” Quipped Ahri.
“Pfft go cry over to your millions of boyfriends.”
“You know Shyvanna you need to learn to shut it.”
“I know what you need to learn to shut.” Sneered Shyvanna.
Sona and Lux burst into laughter as Ahri turned bright red.
Garen and Jarvan stared at Kog’maw and Morgana.
A short Crumpet
“Man… I’m happy for the two but… I feel… empty.” Said Garen with a slight frown.
“There is no time for that kind of love in a Vanguard’s life old friend.” Replied Jarvan as he stood proudly.
“Besides don’t you have Katarina?”
“Yea if you count trying to kill each other whenever we aren’t in public eyes a good relationship.”
“Well, that’s good. Shes Noxian. We don’t exactly mix.”
“But look at those two, how did they even mix?”
“…True. Why don’t you just ask Katarina out?”
“Pfft are you kidding me? How you think Swain would even let me?”
“Get her to at least try.” Said Jarvan with a raised brow.
“Get a promise, get her word that she will open up a bit and go with you.”
“But the bird is the word!!!!”
“Oh… well how about Fiora?”
“… That stuck up- whatever, what about you?”
“I remember I said this before, I had someone but we split after.”
“… How about Shyvanna?”
“Not such a good idea, I’m not sure if she even has feelings other than rage.”
“Take you own advice and give it a try.” Laughed Garen as he moved over to the girls. “Good job ladies, seems like today is our victory!”
“Yes.” Said Shyvanna as she smirked, “Mine as well.”
Ahri left the group with a flushed face and went over to Malzahar who was examining Kog’maw.
“Oh don’t be so cold!”
“I’m busy.” Said Malzahar as he examined Kog’maw’s physique.
“How do you feel?”
“Tired.” Muttered Kog’maw as he lay in Morgana’s lap
“Tired and hungry.”
“I am so done with this fat lobster.” Complained Malzahar.
“Agreed.” Said Cho’gath, “I need a crumpet.”
“I thought he was gone.” Sniffed Morgana as she nuzzled her face against Kog’maw who did the same back.
“Well m’dear girl that can’t have been the case.” Declared Cho’gath as he adjusted his monocle and took out his wallet
“Thankfully, but I was just so unsure.”
“Well think about it. If Kog’maw actually died, we would all be probably dead or seriously hurt.” Said Cho’gath as he counted the coins in his wallet. “How much do they sell crumpets for at the League cafeteria?”
“Either way, this is one problem over.” Said Malzahar ignoring Cho’gath. “But I just can’t seem to get this feeling off my chest…”
He looked back to see Ahri clinging tightly around him. She was asleep on his back.
“… Sigh… Can someone take this hoe off my back?”
“Oh just take her home Malzy m’boy you two look adorable together.”
“I have bigger problems to sort out.”
“I’m still not sure if Kog’maw back at his best.”
“We’ll come to that later; right now I NEED my crumpet.”
“But what about the hoe on my back!?”
“Take her home or something!”
“I don’t care I need my crumpet!”
The Shaky Return Home
Malzahar and Cho’gath disappeared when the group began to leave the institute.
No one seemed to notice as they all happily escorted Kog’maw and Morgana to the carriage home.
At first a dinner party was to be held, but Soroka insisted on letting Kog’maw rest at least two days before he strains himself once more.
“But how come?” Protested Ahri as the group walked towards the carriage. “Malzy said Kog would be right back to tip top shape after his wound closed!”
“Yes, however Kog’maw is currently weak, and needs time to recover!” Scolded Soroka.
“That’s not what Malzy said would happen!”
“True.” Said Jarvan as he scratched his chin. “He did say that once the wound is healed Kog’maw should return to maximum efficiency.”
“Well, it isn’t odd. Patients need rest, especially when they just finished an operation.” Said Soroka.
“I agree with Soroka.” Said Morgana as she held Kog’maw tightly.
Kog’maw was lying on a floating stretcher, his chest heavily bandaged. He giggled and made little clicking noises as Morgana happily scratched his head.
Morgana smiled to himself and clutched Kog’maw’s hand tightly.
“Lets go home.”
The group reached the carriage.
Jarvan and Garen heaved Kog’maw onto the carriage, and Morgana quickly followed.
“So when is the dinner party going to be?” Asked Ahri eagerly.
“Since you insist so much,” Said Morgana as she chuckled, “We’ll have it in three days. Promise.”
“Sweeeeet!” Cried Ahri. She turned to leave, but halted.
“Koggy! Make sure you bring Malzy! I wanna show him my new dress!”
Kog’maw raised a tiny claw and formed a thumbs up. “Okies”
With the plans set, Jarvan closed the carriage doors, and it slowly pulled away from the group.
The carriage pulled away from the bakery after Kog'maw and Morgana got off.
Morgana alone pushed Kog'maw's stretcher inside and immediatley to the bedroom
Morgana pulled Kog on the stretcher to the bedroom. The door creaked open and a blast of cold air came out.
Its smelled dingy, but familiar.
“Lets get you onto the bed” Said Morgana as she wiggled her hands under Kog’maw, “It’ll help you recover faster.”
With the help of Morgana Kog’maw lifted his body up from the stretcher and with a heave, he managed to lob himself onto the bed.
It was cold, but soft and Kog’maw giggled at the familiar sensation. He nuzzled up to Morgana who held him tight.
She missed this.
Just her, Kog’maw- THUMP*
And apparently an uninvited guest
Kog’maw was too cozy in the bed to notice.
“I’ll be right back.” Said Morgana. She got off the bed and slipped out the door.
After she quickly locked the door, she looked around the bakery.
*Sigh* “Ahri come out.”
“Ahri I can see at least three of your nine tails.”
“Damit!” Said Ahri as she got up from her hiding place.” She hid right behind the bakery’s main table.
But unfortunately her tails were waving in the air from excitement.
“Ahri, what are you doing here?” Said Morgana as she put a hand on her forehead.
“I’ve had enough for today.”
Ahri shook her head in exaggerated disappointment.
“This is the best time to take your relationship to the next level!” Ahri whispered in Morgana’s ear
Morgana thought to herself for a bit.
“Whats wrong with our current relationship?”
“ I’ll be honest with you Morgana.” Said Ahri, “From my viewpoint, you two look more like pet and master than a couple”
“…. Whats wrong with that?”
“Okay… Well I don’t really know any other option to interact with Kog’maw. He loves cuddling me, he loves helping me with what I do. And I feed him. Honestly I don’t know what else he wants from me other than constant cuddling and food.”
“Here.” Said Ahri as she pulled out a tiny dress from between her cleavage.
“Wha- … ew what is that?” said Morgana in slight disgust.
“Wear it.” Said Ahri simply. The dress she pulled out looked like it was tied together from strings.
Other than a small round piece of cloth covering the important parts of the chest and hips the rest were completely made of frilly string.
“… You keep this with you?”
“I use it when I want something from other people.”
“… Wheres the covering for my behind?”
“There is no covering…”
Ahri sighed and pushed the dress into Morgana’s hands.
“Do you want to be Kog’maws lover?”
“I already am.”
“Truly? Beyond the relation of what looks like master and slave?”
“… Yea I want to.”
“The best chance to…” Ahri thought for a moment, “Ascend, your relationship is to give him what only a woman can to a man.”
“I thought Runeterra already accepted Gay marri-”
“THAT’S NOT THE POINT!”
Ahri breathed deeply to regain her posture
“You have to go to a different level of feeling with little Koggles.”
“Can you not call him that… its kind of my special thing.” Morgana blushed slightly.
“… Well if you want that to remain your special thing you better make sure you go to this next level!
You have to make this level of feeling with Kog’maw. This inner connection of your bodies being together! That warmth! You have to give it to him!”
Morgana froze for a second. She had been trying to avoid this point in the conversation but it seemed as if Ahri would not deter from it.
“There is no I, Morgana. Do it for Kog. He is in pain right now, and weak. Do this for him and your warmth will help him recover and feel better.”
Morgana thought for a second.
She looked around the bakery, her and Kog’maws home. She remembered all the moments she shared with her precious lover.
She then looked at her bedroom door where Kog’maw was waiting for her.
“… Okay I’ll do it.”
Ahri smiled and walked towards the door.
“Oh by the way Ahri.” Morgana called after her
“I removed the camera you put under the bedroom door…”
“Pfft, spoil sport.”
“Morgy?..” Called Kog’maw after he realized Morgana was out for a while.
“I’m here.” Came Morgana’s voice from behind the door.
“You come bed?”
“Yea- Uh… Gimme a sec. I should of asked Ahri to help me put this thing on.”
“Okies…… Foxy is here?”
“Oh uh no. She was but she left now.”
“… She take cookies? We still have lots of cookies.”
“Uh, no- Just hold on, I’ll be in there soon enough.”
Kog’maw waited. He wiggled his toes and tried to shift his body. It felt sore as he tried to move it. And he felt somewhat tired.
It felt weird to be in this form of weakness.
Usually after a big wound, it would usually close up in a minute or two and he would be back to eating and doing whatever he wanted.
But he didn’t want Morgana to worry. So he cheered himself up and waited for Morgana.
“Ok… I’m coming in.”
“Okies! I warmed the bed for yous.”
The door opened and there stood Morgana.
Her whole body was exposed. Other than small parts of her chest and below her stomach. She looked-
“Morgy you looked… different.”
“You like this Koggles?” Said Morgana nervously.
“… Are those new pajamys?
“...” Morgana forgot about Kog’maw’s oblivious nature. She had to be more direct.
“Koggles… I’m almost naked.”
“…ooh! Morgy why?” Said Kog’maw as he tried to cover his multiple eyes with his tiny claws.
“Nonono.” Said Morgana, as she pulled Kog’maws little claws away. “I want you to see this. It’s for you.”
“… So you want to feel more when cuddling?”
“Well yes, but I want something more.”
“… We still have cookies on table.”
“-No I want more from you.” Morgana knew she had to take the lead. She grew frustrated at how oblivious Kog’maw could be at times.
But she realized that no matter what she did Kog’maw would love her. She felt warm on the inside and calmed down.
With nothing holding her back she moved her body closer to Kog’maw’s.
“Just let me move your body, don’t talk. And let your body react on its own.”
Morgana slipped under the blankets and pressed her body against Kog’maws
“I’m gonna let you touch me more.”
Kog’maw was confused. But before he could say anything Morgana put a finger on his lips to hush him.
“Shhh…” She then kissed him lightly and moved her hand down his belly, caressing him as her hand descended lower and lower.
Her hand slipped lower and lower. Her body heated up as she knew she was getting closer.
But she wanted love him so much more.
So she forced herself to move forward
… Then she felt…
It was flat. Her hands moved around and groped for what she thought was supposed to be there.
But she felt nothing. It was just a soft flat and smooth surface.
“You can talk.”
“Aren’t you supposed to… uh, have, something here?
“… Me no knows…”
Over-the phone Biology
*Rinnnggg*…. *Riinggg*…. *Riinngg*
“Are you going to pick that up Malzy-boy?” Called Gentleman Cho’gath as he took a bite of his crumpet.
Cho’gath was sitting his study room. Piled high to the ceiling were books about “etiquette”. In addition there were piles of top hats and suits that he would constantly take to replace the ones he ripped.
“I’m busy!” Called Malzahar from his own studying quarters.
“Very well then~” Cho’gath heaved himself up, spilling his plate of crumpets. He then tromped over to the Crystal phone and picked it up.
“Hello~ Void Residence, Cho’gath speaki-“
“Oh hello Morgana, how are yo-”
“I’m sorry say again?”
“No, he doesn’t have anything there. I don’t see why he should.”
“Well if it makes you feel any better he can fart with a tiny hole further down.”
“No, I say again he doesn’t have anything there.”
Then Cho’gath immediately pulled the Crystal phone away from his head, and a scream emitted from it.
“WHAT DO YOU MEAN HE DOESN’T HAVE ANYTHING THERE?”
“What was that?” Called Malzahar from his study.
“Uh… Malzy boy I may need your help on this one.” Gentleman Cho’gath called back. He then returned to the call.
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