Who/What/Why/Where/When/How?

Jesse Perring 3,947 26.43%
Jesse Perring 3,478 23.29%
Jesse Perring 3,835 25.68%
Jesse Perring 3,843 25.73%
Jesse Perring, obviously 12,254 82.05%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 14935. You may not vote on this poll

The Saga of Jesse Perring

First Riot Post
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iPredicted

Adjudicator

09-30-2009

If you have 1000 gold and Jesse perring has 1000 gold, jesse perring can afford better items than you.


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Skribbles

Associate Writer

09-30-2009
15 of 90 Riot Posts

Quote:
Originally Posted by Predicted View Post
If you have 1000 gold and Jesse perring has 1000 gold, jesse perring can afford better items than you.
Jesse Perring doesn't get gold when he last hits, he gets diamonds.


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iPredicted

Adjudicator

09-30-2009

But jesse steal your gold when he kills you... thus.


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Ydriel

Senior Member

09-30-2009

-When Jesse Perring enters a game, as soon as Nashor appears, he enter in a suicide loop to avoid meeting the grandeur of Jesse Perring, giving his whole team an AP of over 9000. Of course, by then, Jesse Perring has already killed the enemy's nexus...twice.
-When he was born, Jesse Perring decided to try to punch the ground...and thus the Big Bang happened. That was also what inspired the Captain to invent the Falcon Punch.
-Jesse Perring once thought that it'd be fun to have a Mini-Me, and punched the ground. And thus, Chuck Norris was born.
-Surrender was first suggested when the whole dev team lost to a game against Jesse Perring, with him playing as Soraka and without turrets.
-When Cho'gath tries to feast on Jesse Perring, he instadies and starts back from level 1.
-Jax pre-nerf was inspired from Jesse Perring starting a bar fight. However, no one knows about it because the bar and everyone in it disappeared in a time rift caused by the OPness of Jesse Perring armed with a lamp post.


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Grumm

Senior Member

09-30-2009

- When Jesse Perring use Annies ultimate it summons King Kong
- Jesse Perring was the first voice actor in LoL, but they cut it out because they were afraid of the consequences, when mortal ears heard it
- Jesse Perring is Jesus' new incarnation
- Big Bang was the consequence of Jesse Perring playing pool
- When Jesse Perring is at the river in LoL the water divides itself.


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Genose

Senior Member

09-30-2009

20 years ago, a baby was born in a science lab. The DNA was spliced from several notable figures such as, Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel, Albert Einstein, Solid Snake, Rambo, Arnold Scwhartzenegger, and Billy Mitchel. The infant carried only pure testosterone. Scientists then injected a serum nicknamed, G.O.S.U DNA (Gaming Ownage Superior Unification DNA), into the infant. At only 2 hours old, he was able to beat Super Mario Brothers 3 and post a YouTube video of his accomplishment. The result of this produced a cataclysmic event, melting the laboratory and scientists, all while keeping Jesse Perring intact. This incident was actually The Chernobyl Incident.

At the age of 5, he created South Korea, and passed on some of his DNA. Although they had his gene, they possessed only .0000000000000000000001% of his gifted gaming abilities. As more and more video games came out, an adolescent Jesse Perring found himself bored, so he instead went back in time to rewrite history. His first task was making the dinosaurs -- what us humans used as vehicles, extinct. He then assassinated Hitler, but blew him to bits so they couldn't identify the body. Afterwards, he created the Guiness Book of World Records, but decided it would be unfair for him to hold all of the titles, so instead if you open the page to the very front, it says that "Jesse Perring holds all titles everyone else is just second place."

While rewriting history, Jesse Perring got bored of having *** with Sports Illustrated models, so instead, he had *** with a few fat chicks down the road and ended up having a baby with one of them, in which he named Guinsoo. Guinsoo did not possess any of Jesse's dominant features, as Guinsoo was terrible at playing video games, so Jesse Perring disowned him and sent him to an orphanage. However, Guinsoo eventually found out he could make good video games, and ended up creating League of Legends. Jesse, being impressed with his son's work, now plays his game and works at the office, all while rewriting history.


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MegaZero

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Senior Member

09-30-2009

Some people can kill two people with one Ryze ulti,
Jesse Perring can kill two Ryze ulti's with one person.


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mahbawls

Member

09-30-2009

Quote:
Originally Posted by Genose View Post
20 years ago, a baby was born in a science lab. The DNA was spliced from several notable figures such as, Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel, Albert Einstein, Solid Snake, Rambo, Arnold Scwhartzenegger, and Billy Mitchel. The infant carried only pure testosterone. Scientists then injected a serum nicknamed, G.O.S.U DNA (Gaming Ownage Superior Unification DNA), into the infant. At only 2 hours old, he was able to beat Super Mario Brothers 3 and post a YouTube video of his accomplishment. The result of this produced a cataclysmic event, melting the laboratory and scientists, all while keeping Jesse Perring intact. This incident was actually The Chernobyl Incident.

At the age of 5, he created South Korea, and passed on some of his DNA. Although they had his gene, they possessed only .0000000000000000000001% of his gifted gaming abilities. As more and more video games came out, an adolescent Jesse Perring found himself bored, so he instead went back in time to rewrite history. His first task was making the dinosaurs -- what us humans used as vehicles, extinct. He then assassinated Hitler, but blew him to bits so they couldn't identify the body. Afterwards, he created the Guiness Book of World Records, but decided it would be unfair for him to hold all of the titles, so instead if you open the page to the very front, it says that "Jesse Perring holds all titles everyone else is just second place."

While rewriting history, Jesse Perring got bored of having *** with Sports Illustrated models, so instead, he had *** with a few fat chicks down the road and ended up having a baby with one of them, in which he named Guinsoo. Guinsoo did not possess any of Jesse's dominant features, as Guinsoo was terrible at playing video games, so Jesse Perring disowned him and sent him to an orphanage. However, Guinsoo eventually found out he could make good video games, and ended up creating League of Legends. Jesse, being impressed with his son's work, now plays his game and works at the office, all while rewriting history.
^Amazing haha, had me rollin


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Skribbles

Associate Writer

09-30-2009
16 of 90 Riot Posts

Quote:
Originally Posted by Grumm View Post
- When Jesse Perring is at the river in LoL the water divides itself.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MegaZero View Post
Some people can kill two people with one Ryze ulti,
Jesse Perring can kill two Ryze ulti's with one person.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Genose View Post
20 years ago, a baby was born in a science lab...
Senior Members of the Jesse Perring Fan Club!

- We patch every week because the game servers can't reload buildings that Jesse Perring has destroyed.


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Genose

Senior Member

09-30-2009

Quote:
Originally Posted by Skribbles View Post
Senior Members of the Jesse Perring Fan Club!
My life is now complete...