Oceanic Project Manager
As a new employee that is being trained by The Great Jesse Perring, I can testify to the validity of most of these claims.
Jesse Perring is a 5 year old boy, who can travel to Runeterra at will. Last time, he lost a baby tooth there. It is now known as Infinity Edge.
Red Card is better than Gold Card because Jesse Perring said so.
- Even Dark Matter gives Jesse Perring permanent AP.
- Soraka's goddess powers were not removed because of her curse on Warwick, but rather because Jesse Perring decided he wanted Soraka to suck.
- Not even Gandalf can stop Jesse Perring from pushing
-When Jesse Perring plays Nidalee, pole dancers from across the world come to watch for pointers.
-When Jesse Perring joins a match, the enemy's Nexus immediately implodes.
-Rage threads are a players way of saying, "I wish I could be like Jesse Perring."
-When Jesse Perring looks in the direction of an enemy Annie, her Tibbers eats her.
I am not worthy.
Every time the LOL servers are down, it's cuz Jessie Perring tried to check his stats.
Battles between Chuck Norris and Jesse Perring are why the servers are down for maintanence so often.
~Credit goes to Wolfheart
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