Who/What/Why/Where/When/How?

Jesse Perring 3,937 26.42%
Jesse Perring 3,470 23.28%
Jesse Perring 3,826 25.67%
Jesse Perring 3,833 25.72%
Jesse Perring, obviously 12,227 82.04%
Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 14904. You may not vote on this poll

The Saga of Jesse Perring

First Riot Post
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Skribbles

Associate Writer

10-02-2009
23 of 90 Riot Posts

Quote:
Originally Posted by Predicted View Post
-Trinity Force teaches the unity of Jesse, Jesse, and Jesse Perring

Im bad
This is fantastic, although I believe you mean "teaches the unity of Jesse Perring, Jesse Perring, and Jesse Perring" (see page 10 of The Saga).


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Shaowei

Member

10-02-2009

-Jesse Perring has 7 item slots.
-Jesse Perring's passive makes any enemy Twitch's. Eve's (or Shaco's) who goes stealthed to be revealed in the fog of war and stunned forever, or at least the millisecond it takes Jesse Perring's Q skill to turn them into ashes.
-There are no armored bears or void bears in LoL, because they're all in Jesse Perring's backyard.
-Jesse Perring uses the Red Pill to teleport to the enemy fountain, stop the turrets' fire with the palm of his hand and proceeds to spin around a lampost matrix style, kicking all the enemy champions to death!


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Knight Kinetik

Member

10-02-2009

Quote:
Originally Posted by Shaowei View Post
-Jesse Perring's passive makes any enemy Twitch's. Eve's (or Shaco's) who goes stealthed to be revealed in the fog of war and stunned forever, or at least the millisecond it takes Jesse Perring's Q skill to turn them into ashes.
- There is no such thing as Fog of War, just places Jesse Perring didn't need to go to because he's already destroyed your nexus.


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iPredicted

Adjudicator

10-02-2009

Quote:
Originally Posted by Skribbles View Post
This is fantastic, although I believe you mean "teaches the unity of Jesse Perring, Jesse Perring, and Jesse Perring" (see page 10 of The Saga).
Well, the reason i removed perring from the first two was because in the original original they where one-word names untill the last.


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Karbon

Member

10-02-2009

-Baron Nashor was to become King Nashor but renounced his title because no one is King of Jesse Perring.

-Jesse Perring does not know what the passives are on Karthas or Anivia because he never takes damage.

-When Jesse Perring plays Tristana his auto-attack shoots out Rammus in Powerball form.

-Jesse Perring played Twisted Fate once which increased his luck so much that every player thereafter could throw double gold cards.

-In the early stages, League of Legends had no name and a company poll was put out on what to name it. Jesse Perring just laughed at other suggestions but they took his response of "LoL" literally.


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Twisted

Senior Member

10-02-2009

-When Nasus uses his ult he assumes the form of Jesse Perring
-Nasus's wither only makes Jesse Perring stronger
-When Jesse Perring PLays Nasus his ult affects all players in all games that have are or ever will be.
-The Burtalizer is acutaly just one of Jesse Perring's toe nail clippings.[/COLOR]
-Since no mortal blade can harm Jesse Perring's toe nails Jesse Perring bite's one off every time a player buys the Brutalizer.
-Jesse Perring's dandruff is a better item than Nashor's Tooth


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DeaThShiNoBi

Senior Member

10-02-2009

When we wonder who the oldest human is, we need look no further than Jesse Perring. After coming to this realization, we must then consider that the question was irrelevant in the first place because Jesse Perring is not human.


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ImaBastard

Senior Member

10-02-2009

When Morgana casts tormented soil she is merely reminding it of the time it met Jesse Perring.
Jesse Perring is certain of how Rammus made his way through the Kumungu Jungle.
Jesse Perring, not Soraka, was the first person to tap into the energy of the cosmos.
Jesse Perring parallels Ashe's ancestors' unparalleled mastery of the bow.
Alistar has no fear, that is, when he is not facing Jesse Perring.
Jesse Perring can imagine what Corki would do if he couldn't fly.
Mandred created Mandreds bloodrazor after having tried to shave as fast as Jesse Perring.


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Cryo

Member

10-03-2009

Quote:
Originally Posted by Skribbles View Post
Wow, hysterical. Commendable use of lore. You, my good man, are the first Adjudicator of the Jesse Perring Fan Club. "Scores entire decks", excellent.
Thanks again, you do a humble Jesse Perring fan too much.

Quote:
Originally Posted by ImaBastard View Post
Mandred created Mandreds bloodrazor after having tried to shave as fast as Jesse Perring.


- Blue team is over powered because of Jesse Perring.
- Jesse Perring can still outrange Baron Nashor.
- The Integrated LeaverbusterTM technology is really just Jesse Perring fist meeting the leavers face.
- Jesse Perring knows why Annie and Temmo love Cinnamon Toast Crunch.
- When Jesse Perring uses Warick the river turns red.
- Jesse Perring can knock structures into the air.
- Blind Monk got canceled by Jesse Perring. There is only room enough for one man to walk around the office without a shirt.
- Jesse Perring can reconnect to games he has never been in.

Also,
Jesse Perring does not use masteries, no need.
I on the other hand use all of masteries at once and still lose.


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Stay Crunchy

Member

10-03-2009

The reason Jesse Perring has his powers is because he gargles my manjuice every morning.