HALBRIUM'S Tristana Guide (Quebec) - HAL IS BACK!

123
Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Halbrium

Senior Member

12-18-2009

Well well well I'm back and ready to roar.

Now some of you may think "HAY WHERE THE HECK DO I REMEBER THIS GUYS DUMB FACE FROM" OH YA!!! NOW I REMEMBER THIS BUISSNESS

http://forums.worldofwarcraft.com/th...69688265&sid=1

I have made much fame in my homeland of quebec. people see my shaman guide and they say wow you must be hot. Let me be the first to say that I now am spokesperson for QUEBEC NATIONAL SYRUP WITH ICE FOUNDATION FOR ICE THAT IS LE DELICIOUS. You can thank me later. I try very hard not to let my new fame go to my head, but you know the old saying. "Esprit de corps Haute couture...Qu'est-ce que c'est?" I live my life by that. Every day I wakeup and thank god for syrup and shaman.

But now friends I have a new reason to thank god. A much bolder reason...


TRISTANA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RAWR


She is so freaking hot guys let me tell you. She is a megling. I can only assume that means she is the grandaughter of http://tattoostars.files.wordpress.c..._tattoos-4.jpg Megan looks like she had alot of grandchildren if ya know what I mean

Ok so now I'm gonna teach. Sit down class and be willing to accept my fresh warm knowledge. Mmmm smells really good. Very warm indeed, warm warm warm. So like her great grandmother before her...tristana is a fighter. Unlike many of the big old champs in LOL she IMHQO is a very soft carry. Meaning she is not a big pile of horror at the begining but she is not really a big pile of horror at the end. She does pretty well at all stages.



Summoner spells -

Reccomended:

Exhaust - Tristana is a small fat lady. We all know this. She is really slow, probably because when she gets home she sits on her fat ass and plays video games. Channel the power of lazy into your opponet, rocket jump infront of them and buster shot them back...this will ensure proper placement of your balls in their face. Tap rapid fire to make the balls hit their face faster.

Flash - Famous american author Michael Chrichton wrote a book about this called "Timeline" It takes place in my ancestral homeland. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_(novel). If you read this entire novel you will be better at flash. I promise. Don't want the trash movie. This ability is a get out of jail free card. It also is good to catch a shy opponent who is anxious about your large balls hitting his delicate face.

Optional:

Teleport - Ok. Imaginge if you were walking down the street and you saw a policeman walking down the street. All of the sudden he stopped walking. Then he started glowing uncontrolably. Something must be very wrong. You see the fear on this mans face. You try to beat the fear out of him but he is unphased. A few moments later a man suddenly appears...who but thelegend himself BARACK H. OBAMA!!! World leaders posses the bodies of their slaves to suprise/attack people. This is how teleport works

Heal - Ok I know these are both pretty n00b summonder spells. High LMNO players might says "HAY MAN GET FLASH!! HAY MAN GET FORKIFY HAY MAN GET PYROMANCER"
NOPE. GET HEAL. Between Rocketjump, heal, lifesteal you wont die much and it will allow you to shine. Being alive to harrass and land big crits on ememies is how this little girl shines. http://farm1.static.flickr.com/67/22...ca6bf17329.jpg


Items -

Here are the objects you need to stick in your warm sockets. I might have not really remembered the names for some of these. sorry..but you can probably figure out what im talking about if you have a working brain. warm.

1- Vampric Sycthe. Life steal is good i hear.

2- Berserks Shoes. Some people say shoes are "for the loose". But I say shoes are what makes us able to walk around in the snow and over glass and ****. Also I hate how slow tristana is. she is kinda fat tbh. probably needs to lay off all **** she eats. I would really like to see her much thinner.

3- THE PARTS THAT MAKE UP INFITY EDGE IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER - Damage is how you kill champs in league of legends. When the health bar reaches 0 you have sucessfully killed an enemy. Unless some ******* blows their ultimate when the jerk has 10 hp left. Then you only assisted. Its like US superstar Tiger Wood's wife beating him in the face over and over, and then him getting in the car and hitting a tree at 7 killomters p/m and saying the tree is the reason he looks like someone just beat the **** out of him. I guess what im trying to say is assits are dumb. If you have 3/3/976 people will still think you are a bad player. Now I know how Tiger Wood's wife must feel.

People will yell at you and say you are fedding people but hontesly its christmas and what better way to celebrate christmas than to feed people im mean really some people are just such *******s **** them.

4- Phantom Dancer - Now your just kind of filling up sockets cause you have gold.

5 - Blood Thirstier - If you have stayed awake this long you must really want that 6 lp points for being a true team player and sticking it out. Way to go man. You probably are not going to hell.

6 - Sell all your items and just kind of walk around aimlessly. JK but srsly the game should be over. If its not...questions your own inteligence, skill, and masculinity. The opposing team members probably have really large members. Which means you will be a poor lover because yours is kind of small. 4 inches is not big sorry. Your girlfriend is probably sleeping with several members of that other team.



Skills -

I really cant stand when people in guides use the freaking keyboard shortcuts to explain this. In quebec we use a quebecquoise keyboard which has keys shaped like animals so Its hard to know if the q equals the zebra or the dragon.

so I will take time out of my incredible busy day to ACTUALLY WRITE OUT WHAT THE **** IM TALKING ABOUT


Explosion Shot - You need gold to buy items and women. This helps you last hit by exploding the flesh of minions. Their warm flesh collides with others, heating their flesh...possibly to orgasmic levels causing an intense explosion

Rocket Jump - Pretty self explanatory, just remember to predict where the bad guy is headed, if they move around it can be hard to aim. That is why I tell my wife "CALM DOWN MARGARET. IF YOU KEEP MOVING I CANNOT LOVE YOU"

Then get skills in this order Buster Shot, Explosion Shot, Quick Speed Shot, Rocket Jump

Except at the start, where you need explosion shot and then rocket jump.

Masteries -

Spec offense. Defense is for people who are to use the polite term "really slow in their head"


Now...some tips

Every single handsome guy out there will say "hey man! You know what a really cool thing you can do with our little baby trist?!?! You can rocket jump over them and shoot them back in a tower and kill them!!! OMG ISNT THAT COOL>!?! RIGHT?!?! "

Well the problem is that most people are not complete and utter morons. They have figured this out. Not saying it wont be applecable every once in a blue and icy moon but people have caught on. Kind of like twisted fate. warm.


__________________________________________________ ____________________

WELL I'M TIRED MAYBE ONE DAY I WILL ADD MORE TIPS.MY MOM SAYS THE SUN IS COMING OUT FOR 7 SECONDS TODAY. I BETTER GO OUTSIDE AND SEE WHAT ALL THE FUSS IS ABOUT. GREAT JOB GUYS!

GUYS I MADE THIS GUIDE SLIGHTLY BETTER. I HOPE YOU *******S WHO ARE GIVING ME NEGATIVE VOTES GET A DISEASE THAT CLEANSES YOUR BRAIN TISSUE.


Also to people who say nice things GREAT JOB! BABY TRIST LOVES YOU http://1.bp.blogspot.com/_me8sBPI4l_...hoto-0024.jpeg


=D


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

CaseyyesaC

Junior Member

12-21-2009

Loved it

The guide gives a pretty standard line for zhe items and that chick overall. I pick up the frozen hammer thingy part 1, not sure what it's named, after the boots and I'll get the zeal before infinitys. I dont get that faster shooting skill until later in the game so I need it for AS.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Adamjirra

Junior Member

12-21-2009

My lungs hurt and my day has been officially made from this guide.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Halbrium

Senior Member

12-21-2009

Quote:
Originally Posted by Adamjirra View Post
My lungs hurt
RECOVER FROM YOUR ILLNESS!

I hope that helps.


=/

we pray that you make it till christmas


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Halbrium

Senior Member

Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Gunritsu

Junior Member

01-18-2010

Now that I've read this, I'll forever hide the fact that I'm "québecois français"...

Good guide tho...


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Grovel

Senior Member

01-18-2010

Quote:

More links like your first, less with these funny word things.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Benoit

This user has referred a friend to League of Legends, click for more information

Senior Member

01-18-2010

I can tell you're from Quebec by the common mistake of writing buissness instead of business.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Gigg

Senior Member

01-18-2010

Si j'avais les ailes d'un ange, je partirais pour, QUEBEC!


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

XaXa

This user has referred a friend to League of Legends, click for more information

Senior Member

01-18-2010

Too random.


123