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LoL champions on Earth

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Bump because I enjoy reading ultra's comments

ty im honored


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you know what? im beginning to think that he is not posting the fanfic on purpose, just to agrivate me

belth, you suck

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you know what? im beginning to think that he is not posting the fanfic on purpose, just to agrivate me

belth, you suck

Now where would you get an idea like that?

~~Part 4, night sequence end~~

Hello everyone! It is I, your overly-cheery narrator. After Katarina has finished with her class, and Morgana has yelled at Sunnymuffins a great deal for leaving Jimmy's storage shop without stepping in to defend her dignity. After threatening to cut off certain valuable extremedies, Morgana convinced Sunnymuffins that it was best for her to hang onto the large package for the rest of the trip. We now join our heroes late into the evening as they arrive outside what appears to be a quiet diner.

Morgana: 'Kay. We're here. Wait in the car, Sunnymuffins.

Vladimir: Why do you keep calling me that?

Morgana: Because that's your name! Now stop asking or I'll make you wear a collar, or a leash or something.

Sunnymuffins: Okay...

Morgana: I'm going to go inside to meet up with the others and see what they're having. Find a parking space.

<Morgana hops out of the car at the curb, grabs her purse and the box, and immediately rushes inside, while Vladimir starts looking for a place to park that does not have one of those annoying parking meters by it. Morgana immediately notices Katarina and Belthazor, whom are sitting at a nearby table looking at a menu>

Katarina: Hey!

Morgana: Hey!!

Belthazor: Where's vlad?

Morgana: He's outside, looking for a parking space. Should take him a few minutes.

Katarina: Good. We'll need a few to set everything up.

Belthazor: Yeah, we didn't do that beforehand... incase you had to come in with him.

Morgana: I have the box!

Belthazor: Great! Are you sure he doesn't remember what day it is?

Morgana: I'm sure. I've noticed that his memmory gets a bit fuzzy if I wake him up in the middle of the night.

Belthazor: ...you must've pushed him a bit hard to keep him awake long enough.

Morgana: Oh, I can be persuasive.

Katarina: I'll bet. Tell me ALL about it. Did he suffer at all? Did he whimper?

Morgana: Oh yeah!! You remember that hose? Well, it came in handy, I -

Belthazor: Before you give my girlfriend ideas on how to torture me when I'm trying to sleep, help me put up decorations. There's no way to tell if Vlad will get lucky and find a parking space.

<the next few minutes are spent setting up a number of cliche vampire-themed decorations, and one of those "happy birthday" letter things that hang from the ceiling... or at least, attempting to>

Katarina: We'll need a stool to get up to the ceiling.

Belthazor: Morgana's taller than you, have her do it. I need help moving the coffin anyway. Why did we even get a coffin? Everyone knows Vlad's not a vampire.

Morgana: I am NOT standing up on a stool! I'm wearing a dress! That's very un-lady-like.

<after a minute or so of searching for a tall enough chair, one is located, and Katarina, the most agile of the three, puts up the ceiling decoration while Belthazor and Morgana take the large coffin out of the storage room>

Katarina: Is the cake ready?

Morgana: Which one?

Belthazor: Both?

Morgana: Vlad's cake just needs to have the frosting put on. I don't know how you keep getting these things, Bel.

Belthazor: Oh, a friend of mine works at the hospital. It's a good thing Vlad's not all that picky about the blood types, or else I'd have a much harder time of it.

Morgana: By the way, when I went to pick up the box of blood packs, the guy at the storehouse wouldn't give them to me. Never store things there again.

Belthazor: Well, if you went and got a proper identification card...

Morgana: I'm the only person on your planet who can throw energy balls at people, that should be identification enough.

Belthazor: Katarina had to get one. So did Vlad.

Morgana: I don't see why he had to get one either.

Katarina: It's so they know if you killed someone or some lame rule.

Belthazor: Well, maybe if you didn't -

Katarina: 'Ya know, you kill one homeless person and suddenly no one trusts you anymore.

Belthazor: I was actually going to say, maybe if you didn't break so many - Wait, you killed a homeless person?

Katarina: ...umm... no? Don't go in the garage by the way.

Belthazor: ...I can't tell if you're joking or serious.

Katarina: <smiles sweetly>

Belthazor: ...okay, moving on.

<During the commotion, Morgana removed a number of blood packs from the large box obtained from Jimmy's package storage, and has poured the bulk of it's contents onto a large cake>

Belthazor: That... looks... disgusting.

Morgana: Well, you don't like blood. Vlad does.

Katarina: Don't knock it till' you've tried it, Bel.

Belthazor: ...and the second cake, for the three of us? Or at least, two of us. I don't remember if you favor blood or normal, Morgana.

Morgana: Depends on the mood.

Belthazor: Fair enough.

Katarina: He's coming!!

<As Vladimir enters the diner, the three jump out to surprise him, and while Belthazor and Katarina cheerfully sing "happy birthday dear Vladimir" Morgana naturally swaps it out for "happy birthday dear Sunnymuffin" - following that, they bring Vladimir to one of the tables and show him his cake>

Morgana: We just need the cake-cutting knife. Now where is it?

Vladimir: Oh, well I don't really need a knife to -

Katarina: <cheerfully interrupting Vladimir> We can use one of mine!

<Katarina opens a purse and immediately takes out a small rusty hand-saw, a scalpel, what appears to be a crank-drill, and puts them on the table>

Vladimir: You really do have a fetish for sharp things, don't you?

Belthazor: You should see our garage. A man's collection of power tools will never accurately reflect how many sharp items she's been keeping around the house. You wouldn't believe how she reacted when she saw some of the equipment in my garage...

Morgana: Mmmm, I think I would!

Katarina: I still want you to get me a chainsaw.

Belthazor: Maybe for your birthday.

Katarina: <sigh> that is so far off! I want one NOW. Is there anywhere on this planet where I can be paid to inflict pain?

Belthazor: Maybe if you become a dentist.

Katarina: Oooooo. So what are the laws for dentists here? Do I get a chainsaw?

Belthazor: ...and this is why I don't let you have a credit card.

<about twenty minutes of blood-cake eating on vladimir's part, chocolate-cake eating from the other three, and random chit-chat regarding life on Earth, power tools, penguins, and a bristling discussion about sticky lights later>

Vladimir: I'm stuffed more than a tenderfoot from a bake sale!

Belthazor: A what?

Vladimir: Oh, it's this thing from back on Runeterra.

Belthazor: Is it a decorative shrubbery?

Katarina: Sortof. They can be decorative. You just need to stuff them.

Morgana: It's something yordles are into. Anyway, I'll be right back.

Belthazor: Mmmm'kay.

<Belthazor's cell phone rings, stating *winter wrap up, winter wrap up, let's finish our holiday cheer, winter wrap up, winter wrap up, 'cause tomorrow spring is here!* before it is switched to silent>

Belthazor: Anyway. What was this about yordles?

Katarina: What was that tune from your cell? And why do you let me have a cell phone and not a credit card?

Belthazor: Because you'll probably buy a bunch of illegal items and I'll get in trouble for it - your diplomatic immunity doesn't extend to cover me, even though we live together.

Katarina: Define "trouble".

Belthazor: You can get away with pretty much anything you want with the way diplomatic immunity works here - but me, no way.

Katarina: Wait, so I can do... anything I want to?

Belthazor: No.

Katarina: Aww.

<around this time, Morgana re-enters the room wearing a perticularly skimpy outfit, and promptly hops up on vladimir's lap>

Morgana: Happy birthday hun. I hope you'll remember to hold me this time.

<after Katarina and Belthazor watch the two love-birds make out for about twenty seconds, Katarina moves over and grabs onto Belthazor's arm>

Katarina: When's the last time we did something romantic?

Belthazor: ...pick any day in the past week?

Katarina: I mean something really romantic.

Belthazor: We could go have a moonlight picnic at midnight by a waterfall?

Katarina: I mean something really, really, REALLY romantic.

Belthazor: ...what did you have in mind?

Katarina: <snuggling up against him> I was thinking we could go kill some homeless people together.

Belthazor: -.-

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Senior Member



awesome fanfic

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Awesome work! I keep wanting to pick a favorite couple, but it's tough :P

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Thunderstruck OP



please use LeBlanc T_T I can almost imagine her fitting into your writing style. Maybe LeBlanc with Swain .. yeah ... that would be some hot action.

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Senior Member


Bump gaaaah