Darius's middle name was Patrick, and the person he killed was Paul. His dialogue, the names, and the song were all a reference to this scene in the movie American Psycho, and some of the dialogue was nearly identicle. In this scene... well, you will see some similarities, if you are interested.
Aaaanyway. The following entery was originally going to be designed to protest some of the Katarina lore remakes, but I lost the documentation in computer crash, and it's already been stated that they are going to look into it again and try to re-do it, so there's little point protesting. As such, I had to improvise and rewrite!
~ Katarina's triumphant return to Noxus, and the change of Runeterra ~
Hello, ladies and gentlemen! We pick up shortly after we left off, and the events of Vladimir's art gallery and an evening full of LeBlanc trolling the Demacian table. After five art pieces were sold to members of the Demacian table, one blue-and-yellow clad wealthy individual stood up in the middle of the auction and blatantly accused dear Vladimir of picking on Demacians in the auction - and it was an auction for charity no less! But then, as the rest of the room stared at him silently, a growl came from near the back of the room - Volibear, the Ursa, rose from his custom-built chair in the back, pointing out that the Demacians did, in fact, raise their arms to bid (the Freljordian table being close behind the Demacian table). At this point, several loud "Booo!"s came from the Zaunite table, as apples and bananas were tossed from them to the Demacians. This made Belthazor slightly perplexed, as no apples or bananas were at the buffet table, nor served during dinner, making him consider the possibility that crowds on Runeterra always bring rotten produce in the event of needing to throw them at someone. Shortly, the Demacian nobleman was chased out of the room by a hail of rotten cabbage.
LeBlanc gave no reaction to these events other than offering a soft smile, having totally not <wink> used any illusion magic, and not <wink> creating arms over the Demacian table to force them to bid on items. After the end of the auction, Belthazor returned home, lonely, to an empty bed at the Du Couteau manor... what with Katarina out of town doing whatever it was that had something to do with the league not having much money anymore. Alas.
The next day, we join Belthazor, awakened gently by Cassiopeia.
Cassi: WAKE UP!
<Cassi bangs on the door>
Cassi: Wake up now!! Quickly! Hurry up!
<Belthazor swats an itch on his face, then scratches his head and groans, followed by rolling over in bed, groaning again, getting up out of bed, and going to open the door>
Cassi: You will want to come downstairs and see the news. Morgana and Vladimir are already here.
Belthazor: the hell is everyone up... what time is it..
<Belthazor notices that it is in fact, five o'clock in the morning from a wall-clock>
Belthazor: It's FIVE O'CLOCK IN THE F***ING MORNING!
Cassi: Special news broadcast.
<Belthazor groans and grumbles, getting a shirt on and going downstairs to the lounge area with the telecomunications crystal, to find Morgana and Vladimir present, watching a broadcast>
<Belthazor sits down on the couch>
Belthazor: Why am I awake?
Morgana: Watch this, it'll be good.
Telecomunications device: And so, Swain will soon undergo his official ceremony to be crowned Grand General and ruler of Noxus, after the plot by the league to pit the Demacians and Noxians against one another had been uncovered. Businesses that were once proud investors of the league have been selling their interest shares as quickly as possible, leaving those that were too late to bail out steeped in bankruptcy. All official city-states have withdrawn their financial support from the league of legends, deeming the organization no longer capable of achieving its mission statements for mutual, lasting peace. The league will need to undergo serious reformatting in order to salvage any of the power that has been lost.
<Morgana changes the channel>
Morgana: Interesting news. An evil plot by some of the summoners in the league has left everyone else wondering how corrupt the league really is.
Belthazor: I see.. so, what will happen next?
Morgana: I will need to preserve the league in some form. I made a deal with them and they must keep up their end. The league will continue to exist, but they will not have as much power as they used to.
Belthazor: Will league matches continue to take place?
Morgana: Yes. But, if the league wants to obtain its former power and continue to grow as it once was, they will need a lot of help from nations that don't trust them, and money that they don't have.
Vladimir: The league's biggest source of funding was from the nations that were paying in to be a part of the league and avoid that unfortunate little circumstance that Ionia wound up in. People trusted the league to regulate in the event of one nation attacking another, now people can't trust the league to keep its contracts.
Belthazor: And what will the long term consequences be?
Cassi: That depends on how quickly the league loses power, and how much power they lose. We might just go right back to war with other states. If the league can retain enough to keep their control, the league will survive, but they've lost a lot of investors in the past few hours.
Belthazor: This whole situation sounds depressingly familiar...
<Morgana holds up her arm and clears her throat - not that she needed to clear her throat, more doing so to indicate that she was about to start a small monologue, and holds her index finger up in the air like a schoolteacher>
Morgana: A thousand worlds burn, and for every second that passes, another thousand worlds enter the blaze. And yet, as so many worlds die and suffer, each remaining world believes that it could not possibly happen to them... and as they, and their hundred closest worlds are consumed, they wander their crumbling planet, shocked and stunned, just as countless billions of others have been shocked and stunned, by the same circumstance, for thousands of years before, and thousands to come.
Katarina: It must be magnificent... to watch a world writhe and scream, beneath your own feet... in time, perhaps that gift can be shared to every last living soul in the galaxy.
Morgana and Belthazor: Kat!
Vladimir: Where the hell did you come from?
<Katarina vanishes and reappears behind Vladimir>
Katarina: Ever here of shunpo? Lucy, I'm home!
Belthazor: Wait a minute, when did you find time to sit down and watch... how did you learn that expression?
Katarina: I browsed Earth memes and phrases from time to time. Something to keep me buisy when I wasn't trying to figure out how to smuggle things into your airports.
Belthazor: Did you have any success with that?
Katarina: Yes, I did.
Belthazor: ...ookay then.
Katarina: Don't I get a better welcome home!? I've been gone for sooooo long!
Belthazor: I can let you watch my little pony: friendship is magic with me and Vladimir.
Belthazor: Don't you like pretty ponies?
Katarina: I'm going to inflict pain on you.
Belthazor: Welcome home dear. How was your trip?
<Katarina shunpo's again, this time reappearing on the couch next to Belthazor>
Katarina: Well, I take it you have seen the news.
<Morgana, Vladimir, Belthazor, and Cassi all nod>
<Katarina smiles. Clearly she had a hand in orchestrating the disaster that has befallen the league>
Katarina: I've been a bad, bad, bad girl...
Vladimir: Do we want to know what exactly you did to involve the league in this scandal?
Katarina: I expect a better welcome home first! You're all being stingy! Don't I get more emotional reaction? All my friends are here, and I was away for sooooo many months, and soooo many years! Sooo sooo long! Don't any of you care about me?
Belthazor: You were gone six days.
Katarina: FINE! You are waking up framed for the murder of a hooker tomorrow.
Morgana: But now you have three witnesses that can attest to your plan to frame Belthazor for the murder of a hooker.
Katarina: ...I can always kidnap Vladimir and hold him hostage for you to say that Bel -
Vladimir: YOU LEAVE ME THE HELL OUT OF THIS!
Katarina: You're just as guilty! I'm tired from my trip and need some rest and succor! A warrior woman comes home from a long journey, wanting only for her boyfriend to welcome her home and take her to the bedroom for some nice, hardcore, ballbusting, rough -
Belthazor: That isn't restful.
<Morgana and Cassi laugh at Katarina>
<Katarina sticks her tongue out at Cassi, then, pouting, throws a knife at Vladimir - who dodges it, seeping into a pool of blood, and reappearing on the opposite side of Belthazor, sitting on the couch>
Vladimir: I'm a bit used to you trying to use me as a pincushion by now. If you want me, you'll have to go through him.
Belthazor: Gee, thanks.
Belthazor: Anyway. Welcome home kitten.
Katarina: Meow. Ohh! That reminds me! I got new claws for my kitty outfit, I stopped at Zaun on my way back from Demacia and I decided to try poisoning the tips. I want to show you!!
Belthazor: NO! You scratch me with those things.
Katarina: Yes, that's the point <she says like it's the most obvious thing in the world>
Katarina: But I've been away for so many months, and so many years -
Belthazor: One week.
Katarina: Well, if you wake up tied to a bed, It's not like you can protest.
~ Inside Belthazor's mind ~
Squirrel + Coffee = Katarina
~ End mind visitation ~
Morgana: You tell em, Kat!! Punish those men for not welcoming you home like a lady!!
Vladimir: You said men plural. WTF did I do?
Morgana: You're her loyal friend and weren't enthusiastic about seeing her. You deserve to be beaten.
Vladimir: Don't you? You reacted the same way I do.
Morgana: NEVER HIT A WOMAN! HOW COULD YOU!!
Katarina: We should stab him. Mmmhmm. Make h -
Belthazor: Glad you're behaving as if nothing happened, completely normally, even though the governing force of Runeterra is falling apart.
Katarina: Oh the league won't fall apart. We're perfectly safe. But, later, Talon and I must attend the coronation for Swain. It just means we're going to have to work... do some paperwork... talk about new policies that Noxus will be using to change what Darkwill was doing...
Morgana: It's sure to be boring. Want to come?
Belthazor: I'll think about it. I'm kinda tired... since you all woke me up at five in the morning.
Cassi: It's nearly five thirty now!! Don't you feel wide awake and rested, now that it's later in the morning! Soooo sooo much time has passed, like Kat said!
<Cassiopeia moves around behind the couch, and places her claw-like hands on Belthazor's shoulders>
Cassiopeia: You should be so well rested now and ready to get up and have a grrrreeeeat day!
<Belthazor leans his head back and looks at Cassiopeia, upside down>
Belthazor: You seem hyper today.
Cassi: I am excited about today.
<Vladimir leans over>
Belthazor: Your government has just changed hands, your form of a united nations is reduced to the status of a paper tiger, your -
Morgana: Oh like yours isn't.
Belthazor: If none of those, what are you excited for, Cassi?
<Cassi digs her claws into Belthazor's shoulders, just enough to draw blood, but not actually cause harm or too much discomfort>
Cassi: A new music video from Pentakil comes out today! They're so talented! I need to go -
Belthazor: You know, I havn't actually heard much from Pentakil.
Morgana: We certainly need to take you to visit Sona! They will probably perform once Swain's coronation is over. Swain is a big pentakil fan.
Belthazor: Oh, he is?
Morgana: Of course. Swain is up all night partying and rockin' the glowsticks. That's why his eyes are red. Didn't you know that? Swain is the rockin' bird. And everybody knows that the bird is the word. He's a real party animal.
Belthazor: ...Rave Swain?
Morgana: Rave Swain.
Belthazor: Well... good to know.
Katarina: Hey? Don't I get some attention?
Katarina: You're supposed to be paying attention to ME.
Belthazor: Welcome home honey, you overthrew a government. I'm very proud of you and will be sure to get you lots of chocolate.
Katarina: Gee, be enthusiastic whydoncha.
Belthazor: It's FIVE IN THE MORNING.
Cassi: <Pointing to a clock> SIX!
<Belthazor looks, and notices that, in 16 seconds, it will be six in the morning>
Cassi: See? Six. I win, you lose. To settle the bet, you owe me... hmmm...
Belthazor: What bet?
Vladimir: Normally I would not interfere, but if I don't, I know I'm next once I get home with Morgana. I don't recall any bet.
<Morgana folds her arms and scowls at Vladimir, while drumbing her fingers on her arm>
Morgana: I can still harm you for saying you would hit a woman.
Vladimir: I'm not sexist!
Morgana: And I like special treatment and exploiting my gender. I also want a pony. We can't all have what we want. Now treat me like a lady, or I will f***ing CUT you.
Vladimir: This is your fault Bel. Morgana got used to your society.
Morgana: Now don't you blame widdle belly-welly.
Katarina: I'll tell you what, Bel. We'll let the two of you off the hook, if you two agree tooooo....
<Katarina and Morgana look at eachother and smirk>
<Vladimir glances at Belthazor with a concerned look>
<Belthazor is still too tired to take anything seriously>
Morgana: Say Vladimir, don't you think you'd look pretty in a dress with nice hair and lipstick?
Vladimir: I don't like where this is going...
Belthazor: ...I'll be right back.
<Belthazor rushes upstairs and hides in the bedroom>
<Belthazor goes and hides under the blankets>
Belthazor: As long as I'm under the blankets, I'm safe. They can't see me, they can't get to me, everything is safe under the blankets.
<Belthazor pulls the blankets over his head>
And with the sound of a vase smashing into a wall, we hear voices.
Morgana: COME BACK HERE YOU COWARD! I'M GOING TO STRIP YOUR -
<Sound of Morgana's dark binding going off>
<Sound of Cassi's stun and Vladimir's blood pool going off>
<Vladimir blood pools to get under the doorway>
Vladimir: Bel! Lock the door! HELP!
Belthazor: Don't worry, I have a plan! This should slow them down.
<Belthazor opens the door and shoves Vladimir, his spells now on cooldown, outside - then rapidly closes the door and locks him out>
<Belthazor returns to the bed and hides under the blankets to the sound of Vladimir screaming>
Vladimir: You TRAITOR! HOW COULD Y - GAAAH!!
...and then, silence...
BANG BANG BANG BANG BANG!
Katarina: Come out!!
Morgana: We promise to be nicer than we were to Vlad -
Katarina: Okay, well, we can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way...
Katarina: Okay, I see you're chosing the hard way.
Belthazor: As long as I'm under the blankets, I'm safe and you can't get to me.
Katarina: Shunpo biatch! You really think I wouldn't know how to get behind a locked door in my own house?