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Perma Banned from the game that changed my life

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FinallyFaded

Member

02-09-2013

In no way am I trying to excuse myself for my actions or place blame on others. This post is in regards to a permanent ban on my account. Please do not flame or troll this post. I'm already heartbroken as it is and kicking me while I'm down is just insensitive. And thank you to anyone that does take the time to read this. I appreciate it. This is a sincere and very sad apology letter that includes a request for riot.

I'd like to begin by explaining what league of legends means and has done for me. LoL first came into my life about 4 years ago. I had no prior experience with a Moba style game and immediately fell in love. The characters, the teamwork, the skill involved, and the mind blowing idea that all of this was free. I had very few friends back then. I didn't have any life goals, no real passion for anything. Life was simple and boring. And I felt that I wasn't very good at anything in particular. League of Legends changed that. For the first time in my life I felt that I wanted to try my hardest and do my best to become something. And that something was this game. As I slowly worked my way to level 30, I introduced my few friends, my family members, and even strangers that I would meet to the game. I helped teach new people how to play, set up LAN parties and local tournaments. I even had small discussion groups with my close friends where we would game together and then discuss strategies and constructively criticize each other so that we could improve.

I reached level 30. Ranked had now been introduced to my life. I'll never forget how scared I was to begin my first ranked game. I didn't know my potential as a gamer and was horrified to lose. As I said earlier my goal was to be one of the best players in the world. So this was what I saw as the beginning of my journey. Being where I am now as a player I can honestly say I was really bad. I believe my elo at the end of season one had hit 700. But that didn't discourage me. I believed that I could climb up and that all I needed to do was practice. With any extra money I'd have I would gift myself with new champions or skins.

And then season 2 began. In my mind this was an opportunity for a fresh start. This was the season that I would climb. That I would find my place as one of the best. And so began my training. I literally made a schedule for myself as to not interfere with my job and other priorities and squeeze in as much LoL time as possible. I studied forums and played constantly.And within the first month i dropped from 1400 down to 800. And thus began the rage. I became toxic. In my mind, how could someone climb when every other game someone leaves, or my team is arguing, or someone intentionally feeds, or troll picks the team. I became arrogant and vindictive. My passion for the game and my frustration had made me into someone I am not. Before I continue I would like to apologize to everyone that experienced this from me during that time.

That rage led to my first suspension. It was for a day. It left me slightly stunned. But there was no report card. No reflection of my actions. (This was before report cards were introduced). So I just blew it off. Came back in the next day and nothing changed. I took it for granted. And then I got banned again. This time for a week. That had a little more of an impact on me. I began to reflect on myself a bit. But again no such thing as report cards. No true reflection.

And then one of my best friends died...

So i quit League. I went into a small depression. And my life went back to gray. Stopped talking to my friends. Lost motivation to work. Lost motivation to do anything. Again I was good at nothing. Didn't care. It didn't matter. Sold my computer. Just lived like that for 4 or 5 months.

My friends got worried about me. About my health. So they came to visit me one day. And they had a gift for me. A brand new computer. And on that computer was one game. League of Legends. They all stayed the night and we played. We joked about how bad I was (I hadn't played in 5 months...). We talked about how we wished our friend was with us that had passed away and the good times we had with him. We reminisced on all the good times we had together playing league, going places for league.

And my passion was reignited. I got a new job to help support myself for school as well as playing league. I spent all my extra cash to enhance my game-play as much as possible. I bought a Razer mouse because I saw league giving it away to tournament winners. So it must be good. I bought a Razer keyboard, a brand new gaming desk and chair, a new monitor. I bought a new graphics card so I could play League on max. And again I trained. In a few months I raised myself from 800 elo up to 1300.

I had a routine. Every morning I would get on my computer and go on Reddit, LolKing, and the league forums. I would get as much information as I could for that day. Look at new strategies, get excited for upcoming changes, etc. I became a guru for information. If my friends had any questions about league changes or builds or items they would come to me. I would then play League. I'd squeeze in as many games as possible before I go to work or school. And even then I would spend my time thinking about league. How I can't wait to get back home to play with this new character or try this new build. Or how maybe I should run these masteries instead of those to get a slightly stronger edge early game. Or what mechanics I should be using to beat specific characters with specific characters. As soon as I'd be off of school or work I'd head straight home and play league until I had to go to bed. Even then I would watch streams of my favorite pro league players until I fell asleep. Analyzing their moves and plays. Sometimes I'd even be on my laptop playing around with leaguecraft. Trying out new builds and seeing how it would effect my early mid and late game.

I made a ton of new friends. People I would meet as I'm climbing elo or from local tournaments. A few minutes into every conversation with someone new would eventually come to me asking, " do you play video games?" which would be followed by, " do you play league of legends?". My Skype list moved from about 15 people to around 100. As soon as my computer was turned on I'd get Skype calls from people all over the world to see how I'm doing and discuss league of legends. My newest friend Ramin from Australia helped me carry a game as rengar jungle. Now he's in our Skype group every day. My other friend Kyle from California literally flew up to our state to hang out with us. We partied and laughed about how league had made a friendship where there never would have been one. He now talks to us via Skype and Facebook every day.

League also changed my personality. I began to show leadership qualities. I strived to be the best at everything that I did. I began to help people work together as a team in the work environment as well as school. I became confident and quick. I began to constantly assess myself and find ways to improve myself as a person.

But I was still toxic. I refused to believe that I was stuck in my elo because of myself. It was "elo hell" not me. That toxicity ended up carrying me all the way to a 2 week suspension. That suspension happened sometime the beginning of this year.

During my suspension, I did a ton of reflecting on myself. I spent alot of time thinking about my actions and how it reflected on others. And then I thought about when DoubleLift had come to play in my state. I remembered that he played with a bunch of low elo players and had a great time and smiled and laughed even when he lost. And I came to a realization. I realized how I was going to fix it. It wasn't elo hell. It was me. I needed to be a positive leader. I needed to point out mistakes and advise how to improve them politely and not accusatory. And I would stream myself to hold myself accountable.

And so a few days after my suspension I began to do this. I tried to be as positive as I could. And I slowly started to change. I stopped playing bot lane because I realized that I was bad and got angry to easily down there. And having a support there made me try to pass the blame. So i started playing top. I stopped raging and peacefully farmed my lane and tried to win. And my elo dramatically began to change. Within a week I went from silver division 3 all the way to gold. And I became substantially less toxic. I muted other toxic players and even started throwing out supportive words to my team to help keep them motivated. I wanted to change. I even just ordered a few days ago some new equipment so I could begin streaming and holding myself to the utmost accountability.

But then 2 and a half weeks after my suspension I got permabanned. I'm now sitting here with this new equipment and a broken heart. I don't even know what to do with myself. 4 years of a relentless passion and love for something just taken away. Friends that I made along the way all just gone.

And so I'm now here begging Riot. Please give me another chance to prove myself. I want to be a part of your groups. I want to rise to the top. I want to play in tournaments. I want to watch the summoner showcases, the pro streams, the patch previews. I want to buy the new characters, new skins. I'm so so sorry. Just please don't take this game away from me. I promise to follow every single part of the summoners code. I'll do anything to get my account back. I just wanna play with my friends again. And to everyone else I'm truly sorry.

sincerely,
FinallyFaded


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DCode

Senior Member

02-09-2013

Cliffs:

Quote:
FinallyFaded:
I'm already heartbroken as it is and kicking me while I'm down is just insensitive.

LoL first came into my life about 4 years ago.

I didn't have any life goals, no real passion for anything.

For the first time in my life I felt that I wanted to try my hardest and do my best to become something.

I helped teach new people how to play, set up LAN parties and local tournaments.

I reached level 30. Ranked had now been introduced to my life.

I believe my elo at the end of season one had hit 700.

And then season 2 began.

And within the first month i dropped from 1400 down to 800. And thus began the rage. I became toxic.

I became arrogant and vindictive.

That rage led to my first suspension. So I just blew it off.

And then one of my best friends died...

So i quit League. Sold my computer.

My friends got worried about me. About my health. So they came to visit me one day. And they had a gift for me. A brand new computer.

And my passion was reignited.

In a few months I raised myself from 800 elo up to 1300.

League also changed my personality. I began to show leadership qualities.

But I was still toxic.

During my suspension, I did a ton of reflecting on myself.

And then I thought about when DoubleLift had come to play in my state.

It was me. I needed to be a positive leader.

I became substantially less toxic.

But then 2 and a half weeks after my suspension I got permabanned.

And so I'm now here begging Riot.


There you go. Now that you see it like that it kinda sounds familiar though.


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ilyjo

Recruiter

02-09-2013

Sounds legit.


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FinallyFaded

Member

02-09-2013

Quote:
DCode:
Cliffs:



There you go. Now that you see it like that it kinda sounds familiar though.



lol thx =) sry im not very good at posting threads and i tend to overthink things =/ but i really like what u did


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RandomSummoner37

Senior Member

02-09-2013

get a life man... it's just a game


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Tinithor

Senior Member

02-09-2013

Report card?


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Samurai Jack 3

Senior Member

02-09-2013

good luck


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Ssraeshza Tvyl

Member

02-09-2013

If you are truly repentant , start a new account.


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rikoLash

Senior Member

02-09-2013

How does perma-ban work, is it IP based? So you can't make a new account and play?


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FinallyFaded

Member

02-09-2013

Quote:
Ssraeshza Tvyl:
If you are truly repentant , start a new account.


If I really must I will but I still lose 4 years of games played and collecting of characters, all 17 pages of runes and all my runes, my summoner name, all my character skins, all of my friends on the account. I just feel like I'm having an identity crisis losing everything like that. And i really dont wanna lose all my friends.