Need some general advice on plot/story/OC's

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Dregen

Senior Member

02-05-2013

Well thx for the feedback, I'm just gonna write out a few chapters and see how it goes/how people respond. I think as long as I provide the proper motivations/why a character developed the way he did the story should work.

There's no way to know if it works until I actually try it :O.


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Frost Archer

Senior Member

02-06-2013

Umm. Yea. You're definitely having problems with the plot part. I don't see one.

Also, it's not a good idea to have too many OCs. More like one to three. :/


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Cerubois

Senior Member

02-06-2013

This actually sounds like a pretty epic story.

To be honest, I'd suggest not trying to force it into the League's setting, simply because you'd have to change the characters from the game to fit into your story. Having Ahri turn into a potential assassin would not fit her character at all, as she joined the League to help develop her morality and become more human. Changing Jayce's goals entirely also seems very odd.
Fans of LoL might be attracted to it simply because it is LoL-based, but might also get confused and disillusioned at the changes.

It's a great idea, with plenty of plots and agendas that might keep the reader on edge, but it might do better on its own. >.<
Then again, I'm just a fellow writer, so do what you want. :P
We all know 50 Shades of Grey was just another Twilight fanfic at one point...


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Dregen

Senior Member

02-06-2013

Quote:
Originally Posted by Cerubois View Post
This actually sounds like a pretty epic story.

To be honest, I'd suggest not trying to force it into the League's setting, simply because you'd have to change the characters from the game to fit into your story. Having Ahri turn into a potential assassin would not fit her character at all, as she joined the League to help develop her morality and become more human. Changing Jayce's goals entirely also seems very odd.
Fans of LoL might be attracted to it simply because it is LoL-based, but might also get confused and disillusioned at the changes.

It's a great idea, with plenty of plots and agendas that might keep the reader on edge, but it might do better on its own. >.<
Then again, I'm just a fellow writer, so do what you want. :P
We all know 50 Shades of Grey was just another Twilight fanfic at one point...
Yeah this is the main thing I was worried about, during my planning I had to morph Ahri into a prostitute/potential assassin, which wasn't my original plan. The hard part is Ahri's story has simply been done to death already. Gonna have to think about that one.

@Frost - Well I do have a general plot outlined out, I just didn't want to basically summarize the entire story since it'll probably change, so I took it out, though the character backgrounds do contain a bit of the potential plot.

Thanks for the feedback.


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Dregen

Senior Member

02-08-2013

I've set up what i think is a very convincing backstory on my alternate universe. I've always thought it was odd that Piltover never had it's own military, given it's proximity to both Zaun and Noxus. What's to stop Noxus from simply marching over and ransacking the city?

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This Alternate Universe explores what Valoran would look like if it were subjected to "real world" conditions, where man's greed, violence, and corruption run rampant. People have their own ambitions and agendas, wholly separate from the desires of the summoners of the Institute itself.

Although Demacia and Piltover are on friendly terms, due to it's proximity to both Zaun and Noxus, Piltover cannot stand on it's own without the protection of a standing military. To that end, the Piltover Sentinels were conceived, a mighty warrior order that fuses Man's prowess with Piltover's incredible Hextech magics to form one of the most technologically advanced armies in Valoran. Together with the might of the more traditional "swords and magic" Demacian military, these two armies stand as a bastion of order and justice, and the Sentinels have protected it's mighty city from the attempted invasions of Zuan and Noxus for over 600 years.

Demacia and Noxus have both grown to become two mighty powers on separate ends of the continent, and each city's ambitious goals for expansion have caused increasing tension and militay drama over the centuries. We begin 8 years before present day League, where a twist of fate - the mysterious and sudden death of one of Demacia's mightiest kings - sends Valoran hurtling towards an entirely different fate...


I've written up to 3 chapters of the story, and now i'm gonna do some final quick proofreading and post up the introductions over the weekend, and see how it goes from there.


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iam PYR0

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Senior Member

02-08-2013

sounds cool man not sure if u saw but i really liked that lore you provided for Luther: the exorcist and was hoping you could help with my others really making progress on the champions i just started and i got like 5 more in my head still lol having trouble keeping up with my own thoughts lol so let me know added you in game get back to me


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Ark Angel HFB

Senior Member

02-08-2013

sounds neat...