|No, it's been done too many times.||0||0%|
|No, the abilities are impractical.||0||0%|
|No, the story makes no sense.||0||0%|
|No, the physical appearance is dull.||0||0%|
|Multiple Choice Poll. Voters: 0. You may not vote on this poll|
Born in a world outside of the boundaries of our universe, the young human, Amos carried on a life in a fourth dimensional world. His parents, being from the year 2451, were accidentally trapped in the vortex of a black hole while traveling among several other space cadets in a mission to colonize a local, alien planet in the name of the Interplanetary Terran Empire (ITE). Amos' parents and the rest of the space cadet's ship was pulled to the singularity of the black hole, an infinitesimally small point in space, at which they entered a different dimension of which space and time were relative. Amos' mother, having been pregnant for seven months gave a premature birth to Amos out of stress causing him to be extra sensitive to his environment which led to terrifying scars on his face and left arm. The boy was given all the proper treatment necessary to live even despite the daze and utter confusion of those who were tending to him. This confusion was caused by spontaneously occurring events that were in no way congruent to the reality the anthropoid passengers were used to.
Unfortunately, the mature minds of the adult space cadets began to taper to the unusual conditions of this dimension that seemed to violate the laws of the Universe. Time was a null factor. The dimension was as such that each person was made aware of their position in time relative to the beginnings of time and the collapse of the universe. Time still went by at the same rate, but only because that's what the passengers wanted to believe. Their surroundings appeared as if they were being tampered by some outside force. Parts of the ship started to blend together and no one was really sure which room they were in, let alone were they were in space. It seemed like every spot in space was visual at the exact same time. All who were in this environment were forced to picture the three-dimensional Universe as a sheet of paper. Because of the distortion of space and time, the human cadets' brains began to shut down due to unorthodox stress to their cerebrums' parietal lobes. However, Amos' brain was unharmed due to his absolute open-mindedness from his infancy. His brain adapted to this new perspective just as a three dimensional being would adapt to it's environment. Less than two months after the devastating incident, the last adult died leaving Amos as the last humanoid in the bizarre stretch of space.
A day and a half later, the hollow ITE ship was visited by a most curious breed of creatures. These aliens appeared in many forms, but seeing the anthropological form of the young Amos, chose a physique much like that of a humanoid. These creature used no kind of spaceship. Rather, they traversed the Universe through teleportation. They could walk through time just as a human could walk to the store, and most of all, they had an illimitable perception of everything in existence that rid language or any other form of communication completely superfluous. Taken under the wing of the mysterious beings, Amos struggled to grasp these competencies and viewpoints but even though he had learned to accept the unorthodox nature of the dimension, he failed to learn to the infinite extent that the seemingly celestial beings had because of the finite nature of human thought.
Seeing that Amos' human like mind would one day take over and relentlessly attempt to refute his existence in this world, the beings taught Amos much about his native culture and language and then reluctantly delivered Amos to the realm of the League of Legends, where he can use his unique abilities and be subject to a world he can understand.
--Theme of grey to symbolize time
--Couple of large, red scars streaming parallel down his face.
--Scars on left arm in the shape of an X
--For default outfit, a grey cloak fit with a hood
--About 18 years of age with a scruffy grey beard
--Long grey hair
--Lacking of passion
Abilities- (Caster, Assassin)
Default Attack: Bolt- A wave of fourth dimensional energy strikes target. Appears as a grey, ball-shaped projectile. Can be fired in a ten meter radius.
Passive: Directional Relativity- every fourth default attack, Amos instantaneously and temporarily appears in two places at once firing the same shot from each place, in turn doing double damage. The duplicate is placed randomly within the firing range of the target but cannot sustain any damage. The duplicate is never placed within shrubs and follows all the boundary rules, meaning it can't spawn within a rock, outside the map, et cetera. The duplicate only fires one shot and then quickly vanishes.
Q Ability: Material Schism- Amos creates a rupture in the shape of a "V" in front of him that does damage and temporarily renders hit champions and minions inert for a second + a tenth of a second per level. It appears as a crack in the terrain itself and exposes pure whiteness in the heart of the crack with the terrain distorting around it.
W Ability: Portal- Amos creates a sphere in a 20 meter radius that captures any enemy champions or minions for 2 seconds and does very small damage over time which increases by level. The sphere is about five meters in diameter and targets appear to be stretching as they enter it. The sphere appears as a black hole in space distorting the light behind it, which is to say that it is round, dark, and has a halo of yellow light surrounding it's borders.
E Ability: Grey Blade- Amos temporarily teleports to melee range of his target and slashes the target with his hand leaving a bright, white trail. After the blow, Amos immediately teleports back to where he was when he activated the spell. This ability is especially good for using when in shrubbery.
R Ability: Positional Discrepancy- Amos warps to a location within a hundred meter radius of his current position and appears at that position with three other duplicates of himself that do half damage but only last five seconds + 2 seconds depending on level. The duplicates have a quarter of the life that the actual Amos has and can be controlled to move and attack at the same rate Amos can, but cannot use abilities.
So, this is just a character that I think would be fun to play and enhance the strategy of the game. The character was mostly based on his background story so the abilities may not fit in perfectly with the way the game works. I love this game and I love the idea of the community collaborating to help make the game better so I'd love to hear some critiques from the community if this is any non-cliche champion that has potential to make this game more enjoyable.
I can see right now that you have no clue how to design a champion and probably are still completely new to League of Legends. You are focusing on visuals rather than mechanics, and your semantics do not match those of the current game. You say "renders people inert"? You should just say "snares". You need to stick to the accepted format if you want people to be able to truly understand you. Please, stop saying "meters" because there is nothing in this game that says meters. Please create for yourself a basis of the unitless range that is utilized in League of Legends.
Passive - animation flare aside, this is Master Yi's passive only imbalanced. Yi needs 7 MELEE attacks to proc it, whereas this guy only needs 4 RANGED. Even if you were to keep this and balance it properly, it's been done before and you need to have something new and innovative. Design is worthless if it already exists; you need to put your own spin on it but still keep it balanced.
Q - skillshot snare in a V shape. This seems counter intuitive for aiming since you're going to have to aim 30 degrees off of your target to actually hit them. Does it even do damage? What's the range on the attack? What's the cooldown? If you're going to say "snares for 1 second" then you need to also provide these things to provide a sense of balance. Rank scaling for CC doesn't work like "1/10th a second per level". It works per rank of the spell, and if you're going to scale a CC then you need to scale it by increasing the duration by 0.25 seconds per rank or 0.2 seconds.
W - it's just an AoE with nothing special on it? Yawn. There is nothing interesting behind this spell. You need to put more effort into mechanics and less into visuals.
E - so this is basically a ranged single target nuke that forces you to expose yourself on the front lines to deal damage? If there's no true displacement then why even bother moving into melee range? If you're going to have a spell deal damage to a target and have nothing else meaningful happen, what's the point of saying useless things? Again, this is boring and lacking innovation and effort on a mechanical level.
R - your use of meters is really starting to bug me. So your ult is pretty much a global teleport that buffs your AD by 150% for 5 seconds? This seems pretty convoluted for an OP steroid. This is also mechanically similar to Shaco's Hallucinate. Also, an instant non-telegraphed global blink is severely imbalanced (again, I can't even tell what the range on this but I am guessing you intend it to be near global).
There is no strategy. There is no depth. There is no synergy. There is nothing you gave in terms of new mechanics or new ways to achieve a desired effect. I don't care about your added flair or your lore. If you strip away the fluff, you are leaving us with an extremely bland product.
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