Do you think this could be a viable champion?

yes 1 100.00%
no 0 0%
Voters: 1. You may not vote on this poll

first, early champion concept, Gazone

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jplayer11

Junior Member

01-25-2013

hey guys this is my first post ever so sorry if its poor. the point of this thread is that i had an idea for a champion concept and i would very much like to hear what others think of it or get any tips as to where he might be op or underpowered or were you guys think he needs more work. feel free to say any constructive arguments about anything from his name-story-abilities or anything i didnt cover like what his starting stats should be etc.

INTRODUCTION:

Gazone will be a: melee,ad,assassin/fighter(depending on the build) and made mostly for top according to the meta made to have very high mobility and damage output but with tanky abilities or escape he will be weak to cc.

TITLE:

i have yet to find him a title, any help with that would be appreciated, his story has betrayal/death in it but i find theres already many hate/revenge titles out there so i am trying to think of something else.

STORY:

This is just an overview of the lore so yes it will feel weird/have plot holes because its not the full thing.
So for his lore i was thinking he will be kats/cass older brother who died before the first 1 was born(cant remember if cass or kat). at his birth general ducouteau wanted to make the strongest weapon in noxian military so he brought the best mages to help him, their answer, an evergroing power that will simply make Gazone stronger with no limits each second he lives. by age ten he already surpassed almost everyone, his power grew so fast that it was known he could one day take on the entire world. this was enough to make even Ducouteau scarred for his world, and so made the hardest decision of his lie, the execution of his son. with an unexpected attack and an overwhelming force of noxians strongest soldiers, including his father, Gazone was killed. Dead, forgoten, but not finished, as his powers kept growing even after death and many years later, he became strong enough to come back from the dead with only one thought in mind, to kill his father for his betrayal. he searched across the world for his father, which finaly brought him to the league. in order to continue his search the leagued forced him to wear a barrier that would stop his powers from growing. Gazone accepted and is now continuing the search for his father.

ABILITIES:

now for the part you care about.

passive: whenever Gazone hits a target with auto attacks or abilities, that target is marked for 10 sec, and for every mark Gazone gains a small amount of ms and as, more so for champions marked.

q: Gazone aa timer is restarted and his next attack poison the target for 3 sec dealing magic dmg based on the enemy missing health each sec +(amount of bonus ad) with a max on monsters. i think i would also like cd refresh on this ability if it kills because i want it to be a finisher but i dont want it to have low cd so its punishing if u miss it.

w: Gazone marks a target from distance, he gains health for a percentage of damage that targets takes for the next few second and that target takes additional damage from Gazone while its on.

e: Gazone dash to an enemy and hits him, the hit does damage and push the enemy back, if the enemy hits a wall they take additional damage and is stuned. you vayne/poppy players will recognize this, its alot like poppy but he doesnt finish the dash with his target like poppy does so its more punishing if you miss it.

r: Gazone teleports behind an enemy with a passive mark on him(maybe this one can be teleport to anyone), within the next couple seconds(lets say around 1o seems to be the average for these) Gazone can reactivate this ability to teleport behind any enemy with a his passive mark on them as much as he wants with no cost(but with about a 1-2 sec cd on it).
his ulti gives him alot of mobility but only to things he already marked so he will need to play smart and as i said cc will be his nightmare.

LOOKS:

now im going to need alot of help since im a terrible in arts, i thought the long trenchcoat look really cool but its WAY overdone so none of those please.
also i would like to give him a slick look instead of beafy, hence more around
(dante(dmc)/raiden(mgs)) style over the (kratos(gow)/gears of war tank men) look.
his weapon will be a sword unless someone gives me a very good alternative, and ive thought of alot so it will most likely be a sword.

END THOUGHTS:

so this is my champ, again first post so sorry if i made it bad and thank you for your time, please tell me if you like it, if enough people do i will make a full champion concept. remember that this is still a very early post so anything about him can still change and please give any feedback/tips that could help him see the light of the fields. oh and use the poll please to tell me you're thoughts.

again thank you .


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DamnYouSir

Junior Member

01-25-2013

CrossDeather here (the crappy Darius)
Good concept. Not incredibly overpowered, which is a start. I say the ult should add on to the innate (be careful calling it passive, as that's what people like Vayne or Teemo have).
Revise the text. Even at this stage in the development, revise it. If you want me to, I can. But it's unattractive and difficult to understand.
Storyline is actually quite good. Refrain from specifics (''he could one day take on the entire world"), as well as exaggeration - everyone likes someone who's more relatable, not someone who's super powerful/smart/charismatic. As far as General DuCouteau's first son - this seems a bit much. Personally, I think that he could get ravaged, reduced to "but a flicker of life" and someone - THIS would be where you incorporate someone, like Darius or Swain or even Jarvan, that would rehabilitate him. I think the name isn't right, just my opinion, but not many criticize the current names.
Just clean it up, and I'll be happy to give it further constructive criticism.
Good job!


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DamnYouSir

Junior Member

01-25-2013

It deleted my entire text...
To recapitulate, clean it up. I could do it for you, but the lack of grammar and punctuation really make it incomprehensible and even unpleasant to read.
Try to refrain from walls of text.
The storyline's good - I think avoid him being DuCouteau's son. I think he should get ravaged, but someone - Swain, Darius, or even Jarvan - could rehabilitate him. Look at the official champions' lore - they're obscure and vague.
Just clean it up, and I could give you further CC (I did, but it got deleted, and I lack the time).
Good job!


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DamnYouSir

Junior Member

01-25-2013

It's deleting my comments


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jplayer11

Junior Member

01-25-2013

i am therefore remaking it, i will repost another version, i will change the name because i to find it nice but not good, i will put the new name on this for anyone to go check after i repost


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little midgets

Junior Member

01-25-2013

This champion sounds good, need any help just tell me