The adventures of Ahri, convenience store clerk

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Dregen

Senior Member

01-21-2013

Updated 10/11, episode 7 is up, link to story at the end of this post!

Want to read this on FF.net? Link here: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8939096/...-gets-a-dayjob

Really? You didn't know? Every LOL champ has to have a dayjob. Killing random people in the fields of Justice just doesn't pay the bills like it used to, you know?

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The giant flaming bear walked through the double sliding doors of LOLmart, and headed over to the counter.

"EXCUSE ME. I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW WHICH AISLE THE BEER IS STORED IN."

Ahri didn't bother to look up from the magazine she was reading.

"All the beers are in the back of the store."

"THANK YOU VERY MUCH."

The flaming bear walked uncomfortably down one of the aisles and headed down to the back wall of LOLmart. It looked over at the sparse selection of beers, and seemed unsure of what to pick. For a few moments, the bear seemed to stare off into space, as if it were holding some sort of imaginary communication with someone. The bear nodded to no one in particular, then proceeded to pick up a bottle decorated with a red label that read "BUDWEISER". The bear proceeded to walk back to the counter.

"I WOULD LIKE TO BUY THIS BOTTLE OF BEER PLEASE."

Ahri didn't look up, and continued to stare at the magazine. After a few moments she let out a bored sigh, then closed the magazine and put it to the side. She looked up at her customer, then raised an eyebrow as she realized that it was a giant flaming bear. They both stared at each other in silence for awhile, until Ahri finally realized what was going on and did a mental facepalm.

"I'm sorry sir, but League law explicitly states that I'm not allowed to sell beer to people if I know they are buying it for a minor."

"I DONT KNOW WHAT THE HELL YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT MAN. I'M A MOTHERFLIPPIN 8 FOOT TALL FLAMING SHADOW BEAR. DO YOU SERIOUSLY THINK SOME 15 YEAR OLD GIRL IS FORCING ME TO DO THIS AGAINST MY WILL OR SOMETHING?."

Ahri rolled her eyes. She didn't get paid enough to deal with this stuff.

"Listen hun, everyone knows there's only one person in the league that has a giant flaming bear as her pet. Go and tell Annie that she's gonna have to try a little bit harder if she wants to get drunk, ok?

"I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO THE MANAGER OF THIS ESTABLISHMENT."

"The manager isn't here, tibbers. I close the store on tuesdays. And in any case, i'm pretty sure even if he were here he wouldnt sell to you and risk getting handed a class 1 misdemeanor. "

"THIS IS A PURE MOCKERY OF A STORE. BEFORE I STORM OUT ANGRILY, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT I PLAN TO WRITE A LETTER OF COMPLAINT AND SEND IT DIRECTLY TO THE CEO OF LOLMART CORPORATION. HAVE FUN GETTING "FIRED". AND YES THAT PUN WAS INTENDED."

Tibbers set the bottle down on the counter. Ahri watched passively as the bear spun around, made a rude gesture at her, then marched out indignantly. Ahri shook her head at the sad display.

"Oh lord, gimme a break. A written letter of complaint sent directly to the ceo? Everyone in League knows Corporate Mundo doesn't know how to read."

Ahri stole a quick glance at the clock, let out another bored sigh, then picked up her copy of Cosmopolitan and went back to skimming it's pages.


*****************************.

Update 1/21/13: Episode 2 is up! check it out on page 1 further down!

Update 1/23/13: Episode 3 is up on page 2! Linked here:http://na.leagueoflegends.com/board/...3027268&page=2. Made some slight edits to the first 2 episodes.

Update 1/24/13: Episode 4 is up on page 2! Linked here:http://na.leagueoflegends.com/board/...3027268&page=2. Also, set up a fanfic acc and posted the entire episodes up there in a more readable format, link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/8939096/...-gets-a-dayjob

Update 1/25/13: Please read the post right below episode 4. It is important if you plan on continuing with the series.

Update 1/28/13: Episode 5, part 1 is up, with part 2 to be posted shortly! link is on FanFiction.net and also here: http://na.leagueoflegends.com/board/...1#post33989132

Update 2/01/13: Episode 5, part 2 is up at http://na.leagueoflegends.com/board/...2#post34162282 and also fanfiction.net!

Update 4/08/13: After a short hiatus, episode 6 is now up! link: http://na.leagueoflegends.com/board/...3027268&page=3

Update 10/11/13: New episode has been posted! link: http://forums.na.leagueoflegends.com...1#post42155489


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Cerubois

Senior Member

01-21-2013

+1


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A Poor Poro

Member

01-21-2013

Beautiful.


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W4ddleBuff

Senior Member

01-21-2013

Wow. That was actually good. Moar.


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Silver of Souls

Senior Member

01-21-2013

Haha I like it, real funny. More please.


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Dregen

Senior Member

01-21-2013

Episode 2


Veigar walked into the LOLmart and gave the store a quick look-over. He noticed the dirty, greasy floor over by the fast food station, and frowned disapprovingly as he discerend what seemed like little bits of old sausage chili scattered over the floor and counter of the station. In fact, looking around at the entire store, he realized the whole store was kind of in a mess.

He walked over to the counter, where he saw Ahri stooped over in a state of extreme concentration, staring intently at the fur of one of her soft little fox tails and brushing the hairs one way, then the other way, occasionally blowing it with a quick little spurt of air from her mouth.

"Hey Ahri."

Ahri recognized the voice of her general manager, and glanced up casually at her boss. Or rather, down.

"Heya Veigy."

Veigar winced slightly at hearing that nickname.

"You know, seeing as I AM the manager of this store, I really think it's employees should refer to me by a title. I've been thinking it over, and I've decided that from now on my new title should be Dark Overlord of Evil, His Highness, The Malevolent Veigar. So I'd appreciate it if you'd stop calling me Veigy and refer to me proper- .......Ahri, are you listening?"

"Of course Veigy, I'm always listening! You can count on me."

Veigar closed his eyes and rubbed his temples slowly. He was starting to get a headache.

"...Anyway, Ahri, this store is just a mess. I was kind of hoping that a certain...ahhh..."industrious" employee would take it upon themselves to mop and sweep the floors sometime."

Ahri reached forward and yanked out a peice of stray fur that had been sticking out from her tail.

"Well you know what they say, Veigy. Hoping and praying for stuff doesn't make it happen. You gotta go out and actually do it. I think the broom is somewhere over by the health bars aisle, and the mop should be somewhere closeby, though I think it's handle went missing a couple months ago." Ahri looked up at Veigar with the most touching, sincere expression on her face. "I swear I have no idea how that happened."

Veigar looked at Ahri and narrowed his eyes in consternation.

"Umm, that was kind of my hint telling YOU to go and clean the store up. Last I checked, you were the employee, and I was the manager."

Ahri pouted, her face a picture of sorrow, and her little fox ears drooped down slightly.

"I'd love to Veigy...I'm always trying to be a good worker, but I just can't. It's not in my contract."

"Contract? What contract?"

"The contract every employee is implicitly bound to when they get hired, of course. Mine says that I'm to be a "store clerk", and that means I'm responsible ONLY for manning the register, greeting customers, and tending to the counter."

"Why haven't I ever heard anything like this before? Where do you dig this stuff up? ....you know what, nevermind, I'm the damn boss, I'm just gonna go and hire a janitor."

Ahri perked up and graced Veigar with a sweet little smile.

"There you go, Veigy. You learn really quick for a yordle!"

Veigar closed his eyes and rubbed his temples again. The headache was getting worse.

"I'm gonna head into my office. I've just got a huge pile of paperwork due tomorrow morning. Try not to let the store burn down while I'm not looking, ok?"

Ahri didn't respond. She had gone back to staring intently at another of her many tails, combing it this way and that with her fingers.

Veigar turned and walked towards the back of the store. As he walked, he mumbled quietly to himself.

"Sometimes I wonder if God just hates me or something. I kind of figured I'd be in a higher position of power by now, y'know? Like I'd be leading an army of darkness and subjugating entire cities and stuff. God, I just hate my life sometimes. And to top it all off I've got a league match at 6:00 am tomorrow morning..."

Veigar went up to a red door with a label affixed to it which said "Managerial Office", opened it, then dissapeared into his office, letting the door shut itself loudly behind him.

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Update 1/23/13: Episode 3 is up on page 2! Read the first paragraph for more details! Linked here:http://na.leagueoflegends.com/board/...3027268&page=2


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Frost Archer

Senior Member

01-21-2013

I normally don't like League fan fics of your type, but I like yours. I guess it's because yours is meant to be humorous. Anyway, good job!

And I think of Annie as an 8 year old....

What would Garen's job be I wonder?


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A Poor Poro

Member

01-21-2013

You have managed to intrigue me as I am deeply sympathetic towards Veigar's internal troubles. Veigy... I would wince too...


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W4ddleBuff

Senior Member

01-21-2013

Dear gods, this is so good.

I'm hooked. I demand more.

It's like Chad Vader for League.


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Dregen

Senior Member

01-22-2013

Thanks for the feedback all. I've had a blast writing this all up as well, and I'm thinking about just posting weekly episode updates at regular intervals for this. I have a ton of stuff and new ideas, but putting it all down all at once would probably be kinda overwhelming.

Anyway thanks for reading and I'll definitely post more later when I have the time!