I just read the weirdest sentence of my life.

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I'm still trying to decipher exactly what is meant by this sentence, as I'm positive it can portray more than two separate meanings within its singular sentence:

"I'm in the middle of what I hope will be a book sometime before I turn into a neurotic Jewish cat lady who hoards salami and tubes of toothpaste."

I'll give a cookie to whoever guesses the correct context in which this sentence appears.