Endale, the Onyx Shade

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theDokiDoki

Senior Member

01-05-2013

Endale, Onyx Shade

Lore:

Hailing from the less respectable regions of the city state Noxus, Marous Endale sought work in the grimy mines with his fellow enslaved miners, working tirelessly day and night for naught. The work was dangerous, and the miners were exposed to harsh conditions and cave-ins, inhaling and choking on coal dust.

Unlike the other miners, Endale had once been a son of a feared Noxian noble. The Endale family was naturally skilled in the subtle nuances that necromancy requires. The young Endale's prowess with sorcery and trickery, and quick thinking and timing on the battlefield drew the admiration and jealousy of many, even drawing the attention of the famed Deciever, Leblanc. But in Noxus, power switches hands quick. His father, formerly known as the Onyx Knight, had been slain in a skirmish with Demacian troops off the border. In only a span of a week, young Marous' life as a pampered noble was over. Lord Endale, the elder, had made many enemies at home in the past decade, and these enemies now took the opportunity and pulled strings, eager to see the entire line purged. Marous was was taken from his mansion in the dead of night while unaware, knocked out, and had his memory modified by skilled mages belonging to the Black Rose.

The Black Rose always remembers. And the Black Rose is always mindful of emerging talent. Although the other jealous nobles had preferred the entire Endale bloodline to be eradicated, Leblanc had a different solution in mind, and had spirited him away before the Noxian military found him.

Under Leblanc's suggestion, Endale was enslaved and forced to work in the deep undergound coal mines of Noxus to "toughen him up." The Deciever sought to use the younger Endale to achieve her own ends in Noxus, but didn't want to attract attention outright to her activities, and wanted Endale to experiance what she wished to end.

When the chaos surrounding the purge of the Endale bloodline had died down after a year or so, LeBlanc paid a visit to Marous in the dead of night.

"Who are you? And.. why are you wearing so little?"

Leblanc had given the young Endale a coy smile.

"Not all is apparent at first sight. I require your help."

Marous scoffed. "And what could a coal miner of the great city-state Noxus do for a half-nude woman? You talk as if you wield great power."

"Are you tired of the treatment you receive at the hands of the overseers? Would you consider overthrowing such a system, where brute strength triumphs over all else in determining rank?" the Deciever had pressed him.

Confused, Marous Endale drummed his weary, battered and bruised fingers on his bed of stone. Such fingers that had once wielded great potential now wielded only a pickaxe.

"I'd love to aid you, but what use am I to you? I am but just a miner."

"No. You are much more, Marous Endale."

And before his incredulous eyes, the Deciever released the dark sorceries that had hidden his memories.

His memories restored, Endale the younger narrowed his eyes.

"I understand now. What would you have me do for you, Deciever?" he had inquired of Leblanc.

"I would have you join my ranks in the Black Rose, young Endale. To restore Noxus to its former glory, where sheer savagery does not prove to be the sole victor, and where intellect and cunning may still yet play a hand."

She extended out her hand.

"Time grows short, young Endale. And our first move is to have you join me at the League of Legends, where we may observe our foes more carefully."

"I'll make you... mine." - Endale, the Onyx Shade

Appearance:

Ragged, pale white skin, but fit and lean. Bruised all over. Messy dirty brown/black hair, slightly hunched over. Icy-blue eyes, neat black robe, wielding a pickaxe (converted into a staff) in his hands. Stumpy in stature, with a deep, arrogant voice.

Statistics:

Play type: Mage, Bruiser, Melee

Attack: 3
Health: 7
Difficulty: 6
Magic: 7

Health: 520 (+65 per level)
Mana: 210 (+35 per level)
Damage: 54 (+3.3 per level)
Armor: 15.2 (+3.9 per level)
Magic Resist: 35 (+1.7 per level)
Health Regen: 8.2 (+0.6 per level)
Mana Regen: 6.0 (+0.75 per level)
Attack Speed: 0.682
Movement Speed: 340
Range: 150

Skills:

Passive : [Coal Dust]

Endale brings with him a reminder of the horrors he endured while down in the mines, and has a cloud of coal dust surrounding him, and reduces all ranged attack (spells and ranged auto-attacks) damage naturally by 15% while the cloud is active. When Endale casts a spell below 50% health, he will temporarily thicken the cloud, taking 30/35/40% less damage from all sources for 1/1.5/2 seconds. When Endale is bought below 50% health initially, the smoke cloud obscures him and he becomes untargetable for 1 second. (Cooldown 2 minutes, reducible by CDR runes/items/masteries)

Q - [Mind Miner]

Endale's next basic attack strikes a target with his enchanted pickaxe, dealing extra damage based on ability power and blinding them for a short duration. The afflicted enemy's next targeted skill within the next 5 seconds will miss and no crowd control effects will apply to said target. (Example, friendly Endale strikes a hostile Maokai with Mind Miner. Maokai will be blinded. If Maokai uses Twisted Advance on Endale any time during the next 5 seconds, he will travel to Endale, but will not root him or deal damage to him. Maokai can, however, use arcane smash directly afterwards and knock Endale up.)

Range: 170

W - [Cavern Shades]

Endale summons 2 dark shades at his side, which deal periodic damage and latch onto the nearest enemy unit, revealing, slowing, and marking them. He can then reactivate this ability within the next 3 seconds to slow a maximum of 3 enemies within 400 range of afflicted champion. If he doesn't activate the ability again, the shades will instead converge on the enemy, doubling their attack speed and healing Endale for a percentage of damage dealt. The shades will prioritize champions.

*Shades can be targeted and attacked, having 100*Skill level health. Their attack damage increases with Endale's basic attack. Their attack speed is 0.7, and the shades have no armor or magic resistance. They count as allied units, and can be teleported to, and can be thrown by Syndra.

Range: 500

E - [Expulsion]

Endale channels for a brief time, then banishes a shade towards a target location. The shade will leave behind a coal dust trail, increasing ally movement and attack speed by 15% for a short duration. Upon reaching that location, the shade will explode in a cloud of black coal dust, dealing damage and the "Choking" debuff to all units caught in the cloud. If only one unit is hit, this skill will deal double damage and reduce the cooldown of Expulsion by half.

Choking: If a unit afflicted with the Choking debuff remains in a coal dust cloud for more than 2 seconds, they will choke, and be stunned for 1 second. Choking will interrupt channeled spells.

R - [Onyx Fissure]

Endale raises his pickaxe and hurls it into the ground at target location, creating a massive fissure in the ground and dealing heavy magic damage to those struck directly by the fissure. Minions and neutral monsters will be dealt double damage. Out of the fissure will emerge several shades (3,5, 7) that will automatically attack and slow any nearby units, prioritizing champions.

If an enemy champion dies while the shades are alive, the shades will stop attacking and converge on that allied champion and instead assume a ghost of the enemy champion. The ghost cannot be controlled by Endale or the dead player, and will act as an independent unit. The ghost will however apply the "choking" debuff with each basic attack, and will have Endale's passive [Coal Dust].

If an allied champion dies while the shades are alive, the shades will stop attacking and explode, applying the choking debuff to all nearby enemy champions.

Notes:

Endale's passive also counts as a dust cloud. For instance, Endale can cast his ultimate, then chase enemy champions who are afflicted with the Choking Debuff. If they remain close to him, they will choke and be stunned as well. The same applies for Expulsion.

Gangplank's Remove Scurvy will remove the choking debuff, but so long as he is in the cloud, it will re-apply. While he is choking, he can remove the stun.

If Endale is on the same team as an allied Leblanc, both will gain a icon/buff called [Revival of Black Rose], which decrease all cooldowns by 1.5%.

If you interrupt Endale at anytime while he is channeling his E, his E will go on half cooldown and the mana cost will be refunded.

Fissure will appear to be in a zigzag, but is essentially a weaker Lux ultimate in practice. With additional benefits, obviously.

After the shades converge on an ally/enemy, they will cease to exist, and cannot be the target of any spells/attacks.

If two enemy champions die at the same time while Onyx Fissure is active, the shades will assume the guise of the closest enemy champion.

If the champions happen to be the exact same distance and die at the same time, Onyx Fissure will randomly target an enemy champion.

The targeting for the shades from Onyx Fissure are random, but Cavern Shades will prioritize the target that Endale is attacking.

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Let me know what you guys think! I'd appreciate any feedback.

I would in particular like a lore review, as I've always wondered about the Black Rose, and if we could discover more about it.


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Xnot

Senior Member

01-05-2013

I'm not very good with lores but I'll give it a try:
I like the story in general but the format (mostly the dialogue part) is sort of unfitting or different than what a usual LoL lore would be like, so if you wanted to make it more LoL-like you could try to retell it in a more narrative style. I don't know that much about the lore (especially Leblank's) so not much to say I guess. Also there is a typo in the last sentence of the second paragraph ("was was").

Stats:
All his stats except his movement speed are either average or above, I'd say reducing his health regen, armor/lvl and maybe damage or attack speed is a good idea. The main problem though is the MR, all champions in game have 30 base MR and either 0 or 1.25 per lvl. Other minor stuff is he has no attack speed/lvl (usually a %) and the usual melee range is 125, not sure if that's intentional but just a heads up.

Skills:
His skills make sense and fit together in general for a supportish AP, like Galio or a more AP oriented Naut. The comments will be quite short since there are mostly no numbers.

Passive:
I think this is a bit too generic and a tad OP, but I like the way it interacts with the choke.

Q:
This can be an interesting mechanic but the duration is too long, I'd say 3 seconds would be more apropriate and also blinding might be a bit too much.

W:
I think the shades could use some MR or some AoE damage reduction.

E:
This could be made a charging skill like Varus's Q, which would make it easier to close gaps, and that's something he really needs.

R:
The explosion part when an ally dies is sort of unneeded imo, nut the rest of the skill seems pretty good.


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Anachronity

Senior Member

01-05-2013

He seems unecessarily complicated. All of his abilities do like 3 different things, including his passive.

The "misses the next targeted skill" aspect of his Q ability is frustrating and adds burden of knowledge to the target.

Why does the reactivation of his W ability have a 3 unit maximum? Why do the shades get stronger if he doesn't reactivate the ability?

Why does his E need the "if only one target is hit" clause when it also increases the speed of allies and also applies choking?

Why do the spirits from his ultimate react to enemy champions dying when the ultimate already deals damage and summons minions? Why do they also react to allied champions dying?

The 1 second of untargetability in his passive is very strong, the ranged damage reduction seems sort of arbitrary and is also very strong since it applies to almost all spells. The increase in damage reduction is mostly redundant since he also becomes untargetable.

The champion's abilities are all complicated, but don't really have any reason to be.

Lore-wise, why is his memory erased? If LeBlanc wanted to recruit him, why did she send him to the coal mine for however many years first?

The coal theme is cool, and I like the idea of there being a choking debuff. You may also want to reconsider what constitutes a dust cloud, since it may not be apparent to players that the cloud surrounding Endale can stun them.


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theDokiDoki

Senior Member

01-05-2013

Thanks for the feedback, I really, really appreciate it! I'll give him some tweaks.