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January MCCC - There Will Come Soft Rains

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Moby the White

Senior Member


sSs RVNCommander:
Jack Russel, The Zombie Hunter

Jack is a semi-ranged bruiser. He has short ranged abilities and a knock-back. He should be built like a typical bruiser and should try to apply as much damage as possible
to a group of enemies. Even though his Q's damage is diminished by the number of people hit, he excels at dealing massive amounts of AoE damage.

Outrun the Freaks (Passive):
After every attack, Jack gains +5 movement speed for a few seconds. This effect can stack 5 times.

Q: Shotgun Sling
Jack takes both of his shotguns from his back and blasts all targets within a 45 degree cone for (70/90/110/130/150 + (0.4 per attack damage)/# of people in cone).
The damage is split by the number of people inside the cone.

W:Get Away!
Jack uses his wooden plank to bash away anyone in front of him dealing a 20/30/40/50/60 +(0.1 per attack damage) physical damage
and slowing everyone affected by 40%. Each enemy hit will apply a stack of Outrun the Freaks up to
its cap.

Jack leaps to a target stuning them for 1/1.5/2/2.5/3 seconds. When he lands on them, he straps C4 to their head.
After activating the ability a second time, Jack will detonate the C4 dealing 50/65/80/95/110 + (0.3 per attack damage) physical damage
to everyone around the target. The target will take 1.5x the damage that everyone else
takes. This ability applies stacks of Outrun the Freaks.

Ultimate: Apocalypse THIS!
Jack switches his weapon to the minigun he carries and unloads his entire ammo belt into
all enemies infront of him dealing high amounts of damage for 5 seconds. Each attack deals
40/50/60 + (0.3 per attack damage) - (5% per 50 distance) physical damage. If an enemy dies,
Jack can pick up additional ammo and increase the amount of time his ult lasts. Enemy minions
increase the ultimate by 0.25 seconds, and enemy champions killed increase the time by 1 second.
His ult can only last for a maximum of 10 seconds.
Each enemy hit applies Outrun the Freaks.

Jack grew up in a small town near Demacia. He lived there all his life and did not get much
interferance with the outsidew world. One day, his town was the epicenter of a void opening and
creatures poured out from the void and began infecting the townsfolk with a plague that turned
them into mindless zombies. As the infection began to spread throughout the town, some people
began to take up arms against them. Jack was one of those people defending the town from the
void zombies.

As the fight went on, more and more people were infected, leaving more and more zombies
to fight against. Soon, there were too many to defend against, and the survivors had to leave.
They fled to the kingdom of Demacia, where Jack had led those who were still alive. As they left,
the only thing left of the town were the memories of the survivors of the town that once had been.
Jack walked the streets of Demacia mourning the lives that were lost with guild bearing down upon him.
He was guilty for the lives that he could not have saved and it drove him to insanity. He can only remember
fighting the void freaks and can not remember how to live normally. He was accustomed to fighting, so when he
heard about the League, he went to live the only way he knows how...with shotguns in hand.

Incomplete work automatic DQ

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Moby the White

Senior Member


Espy Psyche:
Remus, the Adept Craftsman

Remus is intended to be played as a bruiser/tank top lane, similarly to Garen or Jarvan IV. In teamfights, he is intended to tank, and has a rather unique defensive skill that allows his allies to fire from behind an impenetrable shield.

Appearance: Remus wears a leather blacksmith's apron over a chain mail shirt and blue denim pants. He has his beard shaved to stubble, and unkempt dirty blonde hair. He wears his swords in sheaths on his hips, and his hammer and his shield strapped to his back with the hammer head at the top. When he equips a weapon, he draws it and holds it for the duration of his equip. His swords, chain mail, and shield are forged from a strange green and black metal.

Lore: A blacksmith's apprentice from Demacia, Remus studied his master's craft and assisted with all sorts of tasks, ranging from sharpening blades to repairing tools. As the young man learned, the master blacksmith entrusted him with more important tasks, such as crafting weapons and armor for Demacian soldiers.

While delivering a shipment of weapons to a unit, a soldier gave Remus a chunk of an odd material he had found on a mission. The soldier told of how he struck it with his blade, only to have his blade dent and become useless. Remus took the material back to Demacia with him, and began to study it. He found it to be a strange green metallic substance, and sent for the soldier to reveal where he found it. Remus went and collected more of it, enough to fashion several weapons and a shield. Remus found that blades fashioned of this material, which he called fel steel for its demonic appearance, were much stronger and sharper than steel blades, and that when fashioned into a shield, it formed a shield just as strong as a steel one but one-fifth the weight.

One day, Remus visited a clairvoyant, who predicted the end of the world by “flaming stones from outside, breaking our structures and burning the trees”. He became obsessed with the clairvoyant's prediction, and so he collected more fel steel and fled Demacia. He built a structure outside of the city, a dome made of pure fel steel. He thought this metal could deflect the meteors away from him, keeping him safe. So great was this fel steel dome that Demacian forces believed it a secret Noxian base. They attempted to break through, but their catapults and siege engines could not penetrate the fel steel dome.

The commander took notice of Remus' craftsmanship and reported back to King Jarvan III, who put out a commission for Remus. Jarvan III wanted Remus to serve as Demacia's master blacksmith and to fight in the League of Legends for Demacia with his fel steel weapons. In exchange, Remus was offered a salary and transports for his raw materials and finished goods to and from his apocalypse bunker. Remus added another request, to be supplied with fel steel to strengthen and expand his bunker.

For me reading this was like climbing into cold water. At least in the sense of how I do it. At first it starts really slow but as you get farther into it you just plunge right in. Story was quite similar started off slow but started rolling towards the end. I felt that a lot of his character is left out of the story we don't get to truly see who this madman really could become. Will he be a mad hermit? I think who he is or will become is something left open here. Maybe your intent, but I still feel like I don't know too much about him. I feel that you could illustrate your scenes more dramatically to create more of a cinematic appeal for the reader. 3/5 fits theme and no major errors but it was lackluster.

Innate – Standing Alone: Remus gains 4/6/8 Attack Damage for every allied champion outside of 1200 range from him.

Seems pretty standard. 5/5

Q – Equip Twin Swords: Remus equips his twin swords. While equipped, Remus' auto attacks land twice, each dealing 60% of his Attack Damage and applying on-hit effects. This ability transforms while active.

Twin Swords Q – Crescent Strike: Remus sweeps his blades around him, dealing 87/104/121/138/155 (+0.85 per Attack Damage) physical damage. This ability benefits from Lifesteal and applies on-hit effects twice. If this ability hits at least two champions, Remus gains 30% Attack Speed for 4 seconds.

Cooldown: 10/9/8/7/6 seconds
Mana Cost: 40 mana
Radius: 200

I'd like to know is why unequip the swords? And if you don't unequip and they have a duration what is that duration? overall very neat spell just minor touch up required. 4/5

W – Equip Kite Shield: Remus equips his kite shield. While equipped, Remus' Armor and Magic Resist are increased by 30/35/40/45/50, and he takes 30% less damage from frontal attacks. This ability transforms while active.

Kite Shield W – Phalanx Guard: Remus plants his shield in the ground, becoming solid terrain. While the shield is planted, enemy attacks and abilities that cross the shield are stopped and damage Remus for 75%/70%/65%/60%/55% of the damage he would normally take from the attack or ability. Remus cannot attack or move while he has his shield planted, but can lift it back up by pressing this ability again.

Distance across shield: 250
Mana Cost: 20/22/24/26/28 mana per second
Cooldown: 1 second

Same problem 4/5

E – Equip Heavy Maul: Remus equips his heavy maul. While equipped, Remus' auto attacks slow the target's Movement Speed by 15%. Additionally, Remus' Attack Damage increases by 10%/12.5%/15%/17.5%/20% but his Attack Speed falls by 10%. This ability transforms while active.

Heavy Maul E – Flying Smash: Remus leaps through the air and slams his target with his maul, instantly stunning the enemy for 1.5 seconds and dealing 20/60/100/140/180 (+1 per Bonus Attack Damage) physical damage.

Cooldown: 15/13/11/9/7 seconds
Mana Cost: 40/45/50/55/60 mana
Range: 600

Same problem 4/5

R – Craftsman's Command: Remus commands all of his weapons to aid him, granting him 10% Attack Speed as well as the benefits of all three weapons for 10/12/14 seconds. While this ability is active, all three transform abilities become available.

Cooldown: 85/80/75 seconds
Mana Cost: 100/125/150 mana

cool cool 5/5

Base Stats:

Health: 423 (+90)
Health Regen: 6.5 (+0.8)
Mana: 240 (+38)
Mana Regen: 7 (+0.6)
Range: 125
Attack Damage: 49 (+3.5)
Attack Speed: 0.660 (+2.6%)
Armor: 14 (+3.5)
Magic Resist: 30 (+1.25)
Movement Speed: 340


Contest Requirements:

There Will Come Soft Rains: Remus actually prepares for the apocalypse in his lore, and he believes his fel steel will ensure his survival. He decks himself out in it as to protect himself. He also fights better as a lone survivor because of his passive.

Scavengers: Remus gains Attack Damage from having distance from his allies.

Adaptation: Remus switches his weapons with his standard QWE, and using the button of the stance he is in is a new ability. Pressing R allows him to use all three transformed abilities.

thanks for this bit

gameplay 3/5 because it needs some clarification in order for it to be fully understood with the mechanics otherwise it sounds really neat plus I don't know how promoting being apart from allies is a good thing

so overall i thought you did pretty good it just needs a bit of work to clarify a few things.

22/25 abilities
3/5 lore
5/5 stats
3/5 gameplay


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Moby the White

Senior Member


ok here goes once more

Jethro, Zombie Survivor (http://na.leagueoflegends.com/board/showthread.php?p=33183840#post33183840)
Ranged Attack Damage Champion

Attack Range: 550
Damage 46 (+3 / per level)
Health 400 (+82 / per level)
Mana 250 (+36 / per level)
Move Speed 335
Armor 13.5 (+3.4 / per level)
Spell Block 30 (+0 / per level)
Health Regen 4.5 (+0.55 / per level)
Mana Regen 6.5 (+0.5 / per level)

stats: 5/5

Lore: Jethro began his life as a simple gunsmith creating some of the best weapons in demacia and piltover. A simple smith always looking for the next edge to add to his creations he set out for now materials to use to make his guns both lighter and more durable. One day he came across an odd metal that seemed to emit shadows. Only thinking of the possibilities it could have on his weapons he mined the metal and started applying it to his gunsmithing. The metal was perfect! both durable and light weight, it allowed him to create balanced weapons somehow capable of alarmingly far off shots. However the questions about the metal he should have asked soon caught up to him.

One evening Jethro woke to a scraping at his door, opening it he found the living dead waiting to sink their teeth into his skin. Grabing one of his trusted rifles Jethro fended them off for his life, Killing every single zombie. However this was not the end. Soon after more undead came seeking his life... not knowing exactly what was going on Jethro grabbed as much munitions as possible and fled, killing every zombie that got in his way. The Zombies still followed. Jethro made his way fleeing across the land trying to find a haven from the zombies. Only by honing his skills and his mastercraft weapons was he able to make it to the league where he asked the summoners for their help and sanctuary.

After studying Jethro it was found that the odd metal he had used was something from the shadow isles that had somehow traveled to this world. The summoners theorized that by using the metal for so long he had created a link with the dead in the shadow lands and they had found him..... tasty. Now Jethro fights in the league awaiting the day when the zombies grow tired of chasing him.

Well aside from grammar and spelling the story was actually quite intersting. I can get over a few spelling and grammar errors (however I still have to dock points for them). You introduced a character, gave a purpose for joining the league, managed to give him a crisis point, allowed for it to fit within the theme and your only holdback was syntax and character development. tsk tsk. 3/5

Abbilities: <<<Abilities* -1
(Innate) Survival Instincts: Jethro has gone on living by honing his instincts against unseen danger and can sense hidden enemies. Every 8 seconds jethro gains a stack of wariness for each enemy in the area (1000) that he can not see. Jethro gains 15 movement speed for each stack and stacks lasts for 5 seconds.

Interesting ability. I like it and it seems balanced. If only you would have made it Jethro and not jethro. tsk tsk. 4/5

(Q) Double tap: Jethro has learned that wounded is not the same as dead. Jethro shoots target enemy in the head applying on hit effects and winging the target for 4 seconds granting him vision of the target. If a winged enemy moves toward Jethro he shoots them again, despite the range, for the same amount of damage and reapplies any effects of the first shot.
Jethro shoots target dealing 25/45/65/85/105(+100% AD) applying on hit effects and winging the target for 4 seconds. Winged enemyies grant Jethro Vision of them and if a winged target (within 1500) damages or moves towards Jethro he immediately shoots them again dealing the initial damage and reapplying previous effects and removes the winged effect.
Mana Cost:60/65/70/75/80 Range;1000 Cd:6/5.5/5/4.5/4 seconds

Winging? not quite sure what that implies exactly. I feel this term is confusing to players. If you called it wounding or wounded I would follow you quite clearly however this term makes this spell seem unclear because you are introducing a new phrase to refer to a shot but not mortally wounded entity. Also I found this very redundant 4/5

(W) Fight or flight: Surviving a zombie attack is not for the faint of heart, one learns that there are times for fighting and times for getting the hell out. When activated Jethro gains bonus attack speed for each nearby enemy champion if he is moving towards them or bonus movement speed if he is moving away.

Moving Towards: Jethro Gains 2/4/6/8/10% bonus attack speed per enemy champion (Within 1200) for 6 seconds
Moving away: Jethro Gains 2/4/6/8/10% bonus movement speed per enemy champion (within 1200) for 6 seconds
Mana Cost: 75; Cool Down:17/15/13/11/9

Well I don't know about Lol's ESRB ratings so I guess saying get the hell out is okay since I can read it :P. seems like a balanced spell and makes a whole lot of sence. 5/5

(E) Close Call: Survival means taking care of yourself first and others second. Jethro rolls a short distance out of the way just as a zombie rises from his previous position and grabs the closest enemy dealing damage to them and rooting them.

Jethro rolls 500 units away as the zombie spawns and attacks the closest enemy dealing 55/80/105/130/155 (100% AP) magic damage and rooting them for 2 seconds.
Cost: 90 Mana. Cool down:20/18/16/14/12 seconds

So he spawns a zombie essentially or well escapes from a zombie spawn. Very unique mechanic because not only does it creat an instance where technically you are casting this spell, but at the same time he is in game rolling away from the spawn. So its like really neat if you think about it. 5/5

(R) OH MY GOD RUN: Jethro screams “we’re all gonna die” as a giant zombie appears from target direction and rushes towards him. Any enemy the zombie runs into is dealt 150/350/550(+100% AP) magic damage and is knocked up. When the Zombie reaches Jethro it attacks him knocking him back.
Cost: 125 Mana; Zombie Spawn point: always 1000 away from Jethro; Zombie Size: 600x600(not sure if this is right think of full stacked cho) ; Cool Down: 90/80/70 seconds

I'm kind of scared. But as Jethro I feel that somehow he should be able to escape this as per his lore and his damage is a little excessive here. 3/5

Gameplay: 4/5

Overall: 32/40
Lore: 3/5
Gameplay 4/5
Stats: 5/5
Abilities: 20/25

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Moby the White

Senior Member


Iatro the Hextech Guardian.

Abilliteis abilitie* -1
Passive-Scavenger- Iatro can use a buffed skill for free after he has killed 7 minions, or 5 monsters or has had 2 Champions die around him. (Note counts are seperate so even if seven minions died around him the other counts are not reset.)

Seems quite possible to allow this to stack all at once in order to spam. I would honestly consider adding a timer between activations. 4/5

Q-Hextech TRAPnGUARD/Security bot- Iatro drops a robot that burows into the ground. When An enemy Champion steps on it they are snared for .05 /.15/.25/.50/.75/1 second. After the snare ends it pops up and makes a tiny robot with .2 of Iatro's health and deals damage equal to .5 of his AD. Costs 90/100/110/120/130/140 mana. CD 20/19/18/17/16 seconds.

When buffed the trap turns into two bots.

Security Bot (mechanized)- Iatro fires a flying bot at a champion. It deals 100/120/150/170/200 + .4 AD magic damage over 5 seconds the Champion is revealed for 5 seconds.
CD 8 seconds

Okay but how long do the robots last? Or are they exploding in order to deal this damage? quite unclear 4/5

W-Hextech CLOAKnDAGGER/Suit Up!- Iatro stealths himself for 3/3.5/4/4.5/5 seconds after the stealth wears off he deals 90/110/130/150/175 + .6 AD damage to a nearby champion. If there is no champion Iatro gains 5/10/15/20/25 speed and 20% attack speed. Costs 90/95/100/105/110 mana. CD 30/27/24/21/18

When buffed he gains a shield for .15 of his health.

Suit Up! (mechanized)- Iatro gains 15/20/25/30/35 armor and 12/14/16/18/20 MR for 4 seconds.
CD 6 seconds.

wow for an escape tool I feel like this does way too much. This is like combining Wukong and Twitchs stealth into one. I feel this isn't really unique in that aspect 3/5 the second part is fine

E- Pulse glove/Beam glove- Passive- Each basic attack adds a stack of pulse power up to 15 stacks. Each stack adds 1/2/3/4/5 AD. Active-Iatro's attacks gain 50%/60%/70%/80%/90% splash damage for 11/12/13/14/15 seconds. Costs 60/70/80/90/100 Mana. CD 20/17/14/11/8 seconds.

When buffed the splash gains extra distance per stack.(Consumes stacks)

Beam glove(mechanized)-Iatro fires a laser in a straight line slowing enimies on it by 5/6/7/8/9% for 5 seconds and deals 110/140/170/200/230 +.7 AD magic Damage.
CD 9 seconds.

You need range for beam glove. you need range for splash damage. 3/5

R- Mech- Passive- Iatro's basic attacks gain 10%/15%/20% range. His basic attacks turn from punches to lasers fired from his gloves. Active- Iatro can used his Mechanized abilities for 10 seconds. He fires 1/2/3 Rockets at enemies dealing 150/275/400 +.7 Ad at nearby enemies. (prioritizes champions) Costs 150 mana. CD 70/65/60 seconds

When Buffed the rockets slow the target by 10%.

seems relatively balanced as per damage. 5/5 i see nothing wrong yet.


Iatro was a young hunter who was abandoned as a child in the Kumungu jungle. He grew up on his own learning and adapting from his surroundings. As he grew older he knew he wanted more. His thoughts drifted often to the new weapons of other hunters he occasionally stumbled upon. One day he herd terrified screaming near by. He ran towards the source of the noise and found a yordal surrounded by wolves. He had a half finished turret in front of him. Iatro knocked in arrow into his bow and shot down a wolf. The wolves turned on him. A whirring sound craked out and bullets struck the remaining wolves. The yordal introduced himself as Hemerdinger and invited Iatro back to Bandle city. Iatro worked along side Hiemerdinger until Hiemerdinger left for Piltover. The yordal invited the prospering inventor, but Iatro refused his offer.
Iatro he grew into a scientest who spent most of his time in between his, Jayce's and Hiemerdinger's work shops. He focused on an ultimate armor that could overcome any of the other inventors weapons to make fighting pointless and harmless. He spent years developing special weapons to intergrate into his armor. He developed a mixture of metals the was able to increse the users strength. He created a prototype armor that he knew he had to show Hiemerdinger.
While traveling in between labs he was ambushed by Noxus forces. He fought back but was overtaken from sheer numbers. In a desperate attempt he sabotaged his own creation and fled to the howling marshes. There he set up a lab to recreate his life's work. He was often inturupted by search parties sent out looking for him, but over time he learned to deal with them and often used materials he looted off them to help in his efforts. He rebuilt and redesigned the armors purposes. instead of creating the ultimate shield; he made the ultimate weapon. his dreams of creating peace were destroyed; consumed for a burning passion for revenge. Going to the only place he knew he could truly hurt Noxus.

lore was interesting I felt like I was reading a combination of several lore. It was as if Iron man and Nidalee had a baby and named it Iatro. Some spelling grammar error that really hurt your sentence fluidity making the story almost impassable at points. 3/5

Overall score 21/40
I see no stats making this incomplete work. Automatic DQ

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Moby the White

Senior Member


Yay not incomplete work!!!
also really long work >.<

Atamun II, Magocrat
(Separate thread (http://na.leagueoflegends.com/board/showthread.php?p=33184968#post33184968))


The island of Atarsis was once the centre of civilisation. Its sailors and explorers colonised Runeterra and shared their knowledge with the primitive human and yordle species.

Aware of the imminent volcanic destruction of Atarsis and ensuing global ecological catastrophe, the ruling caste devised a plan to travel to a parallel dimension, abandoning Runeterra. Most of them made it off the planet in time, but not all. Many of the god-king's magocrats (advisors in arcane and religious matters) were unintentionally left behind when their dimensional ship malfunctioned. Trapped on an island that was about to explode, they decided to dig themselves in and hope for the best. To maximise the chance that at least some of them would survive, each magocrat built their own individual bunker. Tetmes claimed the palace's magically reinforced summoning halls, Sath sought refuge in an underwater cave while Emut went to work on creating a pocket dimension, a task considered impossible in the few days remaining before the cataclysm.

After considering his options, Atamun II dragged his stasis sarcophagus from the dimensional ship into the deepest catacombs he could find underneath the royal palace and fortified the edifice with powerful defensive magics, turning its walls into indestructible cerulean crystal. Finally he entered his stasis sarcophagus, set the time to five years in the future and with a final prayer to the Divines, went to sleep.

In the end, it took twenty thousand years. The eruption was powerful enough to overwhelm the wards and turn the cerulean tomb into a mass of shattered stone, disabling the machinery responsible for waking Atamun II up, but the adamantium sarcophagus itself survived. The tomb and all remaining traces of Atarsian civilisation remained buried under a blanket of lava for many millennia until a yordle archeologist by the name of Jango used radiolocation to discover geometric structures and hollow underground areas underneath the caldera. During the ensuing excavation, Jango's team discovered and opened the sacrophagus, causing it to automatically switch off.

Although Atamun II was grateful for his unintentional rescue, the most important thing on his mind was the fate of the other magocrats. They could still be alive! But Jango did not dispose of the equipment necessary to see through the layers of pumice and obsidian and visualise the palace and the underwater caves. Knowing the only thing that could convince the Piltover government to sink more funds into his dig was a real live Atarsian, Jango convinced him to accompany him to Piltover.

The government did agree to fund Jango's excavation, in exchange for some lost Atarsian scientific knowledge and perhaps a little assistance on the Fields of Justice...

Okay..spelling and grammar errors, no real character development ( he was asleep the entire lore), lack of major cinematic approach to crisis point. 3/5


Atamun II is a vaguely elfish Atarsian advisor to the royal court, wearing gold embroidered blue robes that go well with his white skin and azure hair.

Atarsian dress code was elaborate and decadent, prominently featuring long trailing gold ribbons and ornate headdresses. But Atamun II is not just a harmless noble and Atarsian technology is well ahead of even today's yordle technology: illuminated sectors and energy lines running through his robe indicate a personal defensive matrix, and his royal sekhem uses lenses and a bound light elemental to fires beams of searing blue energy.

Shurima Atamun II: Scheming grand vizier to the sultan of Shurima, with a ruby laser sceptre and vulture companion.
Deathless Atamun II: Skeletal lich with shredded black robes and a staff that fires necromantic beams.
Magistrate Atamun II: Dressed in a toga and wearing a laurel crown. This skin is given away to tribunal judges in the top 5%.


Health: 385 (+75) = 1735@18

Attack: Damage: 50 (+2.55) = 95.9@18
Attack: Speed: 0.575 (+1.35%) = 0.715@18
Attack: Range: 525

Armor: 12.5 (+4.0) = 84.5
MR: 30

Mana: 250 (+50) = 1150@18
Mana: Regeneration: 5.25 (+0.40) = 12.45@18

Movement speed: 325



Concept: Spellcrafting

As an advisor to the Atarsian god-king, Atamun II is an expert spellcrafter, combining magic and science to create new spells from basic components represented by his three non-ultimate abilities.

To create a spell, cast three spell component abilities and follow up with the Forge Spell ultimate. This replaces Forge Spell with the newly created spell.
  • Component #1 represents the type of spell.
  • Component #2 represents its delivery method.
  • Component #3 represents any additional effects the spell may have.
Afterwards, Atamun II can forge a new spell again by casting three spell components. After the third cast, the previously forged spell is erased and Forge Spell becomes available again.

  • The forged spell has a mana cost of 40 and a cooldown of 15 seconds.
  • The spell components have a mana cost of 25 and no cooldown, but forging a spell places them on a 10 second shared cooldown.
  • When a spell is forged, Atamun II's sekhem glows with the colour of Component #1 (Heat: red; Plasma: yellow; Time: greenish blue).
  • When a spell is forged within 0.5 seconds after casting Component #1, it is on cooldown until 0.5 seconds have passed since your first component. This is to prevent script cheese. Im not sure what that is but it does not sound as tasty as parmesan

Passive: Sekhem of Power

Atamun II has up to 15 stacks of Arcane Power. Each stack reduces the shared cooldown on his spell components by 0.5 seconds, reducing it to a minimum of 2.5 seconds at maximum stacks. Stacks replenish at a rate of 1 every 5 seconds, and each auto attack against an enemy champion adds 1 additional stack. Forging a spell subtracts 3 stacks.

* This enables you to rapidly cast multiple spells at the start of a battle before having to slow down.
* This does not affect the cooldown of the forged spell itself, but forging the same spell again is always faster than waiting for the forged spell to come off cooldown, albeit more mana intensive.

Hang on allow me to aquire Mt. Dew. *CHUGS* *Rereads* okay... this applies a lot of utility and creates a system and alternate source of energy for him to work off of. fits them and seems slightly complicated. After reading it 3 times I was able to deduce WTF it does. 4/5 make it simpler to understand for people reading it. If you are reading it at 2 am you should be able to grasp what it says. Keep it simple stupid. If i understand it correctly you combine each ability and the order of which you do so creates the ultimate. I am going to base the rest of my judging on this basis.

[Q] Heat

First component: Heat
The forged spell is ruby red and deals 75/125/175/225/275 (+0.8 AP) magic damage to enemies.

seems viable in damage

Second component: Bolt
The forged spell is a skillshot that impacts the first enemy champion or minion in its path within 950 range and explodes, hitting additional targets within a range of 225. If the forged spell affects allies, it also affects Atamun II if he is within range of the explosion. Cannot be cast on self. When cast, Atamun II uses his sekhem to fire a large glowing bolt.

range may be a tad large

Third component: Might
The forged spell is exceptionally powerful, gaining a 25% power boost.

25% as flat rate is not acceptable needs to scale.

4/5 requires touch ups

[W] Plasma

First component: Plasma
The forged spell protects allied champions with an orange shield that absorbs 60/90/120/150/180 (+0.6 AP) damage for 2.5 seconds. If the spell hits multiple times, it will recharge the shield to full each time it hits. The shield resembles a grid of hexagonal sectors surrounding the target and glowing red when struck by damage.

as a support function that seems relatively low amount late game; however, early game is fine as is.

Second component: Pulse
The forged spell manifests as a 350 units wide but slow moving pulse with a range of 525. All targets hit by the pulse are affected by the spell. When cast, Atamun II slams his sekhem into the ground, generating a wave of energy.

okay so it makes it an wall aoe that moves in a line. 350 seems slightly small in scale I'm guessing this is about the size of Ez's ult.

Third component: Drain
The forged spell has a 40% increased range and regenerates mana equal to 25% of the damage or shield when it hits an enemy or allied champion, but is 25% less powerful.

okay so a mana regen functionality nifty. i like it over all needs minor tweaks 4/5

[E] Time

First component: Time
The forged spell is greenish blue and deals 50/80/110/140/170 (+0.5 AP) magic damage to enemies, stunning them for 0.60/0.75/0.90/1.05/1.20 seconds.

seems relatively balanced stun does not seem too overpowered since this requires skillplay to perform

Second element: Warp
The forged spell enables Atamun II to teleport to a point at a distance of maximum 375 units, after which a shockwave radiates outwards in all directions, instantly affecting targets within a distance of 250. When cast, Atamun II leaps into the air and disappears in a flash of energy, then reappears at the target point.

So its kind of like a flash that casts the spell okay.

Third element: Disruption
If your spell affects enemies, it also slows them by 40%. If your spell affects allies, it speeds them up by 20%. Lasts 2.5 seconds.

nice support function yet again.

4/5 needs minor tweaks

[R] Forge Spell
Available at level 1, can be upgraded at level 6, 11 and 16.
Active - See Concept: Spellcrafting.
Passive - After forging a spell, you gain +0/5/10/15% increased ability power for 2.5 seconds. Does not stack with itself, but does apply to the forged spell if cast before the buff wears off.

creative and unique 5/5

abilities: 21/25


Tags: mage, pusher, support
Role: mid laner

In lane
Atamun II has relatively little range. His Bolt skillshot component is his only long ranged attack, while Pulse and Warp both barely outrange Ryze. Drain solves the range problem, but reduces damage dealt.

He has two aces in lane. Firstly, he can wait for full passive stacks and try to hit the opponent with a Time-Bolt based spell, stunning them. He can then rapidly forge and discharge more Time based spells, stunlocking the opponent. The opponent does have a window of opportunity to escape between each stun after the second stun. Secondly, although his mana is depleted rapidly, he can sustain himself by not forging new spells and sticking with periodic Drain based harrass, which eventually pays for itself.

When ganked, he can forge a Warp based spell and gtfo, though he is not likely to have one ready due to the short range and danger factor of Warp in lane. If disabled before he can forge the spell, he should be a sitting duck.

The powerful shield is mitigated in lane by the need to forge it ahead of time, preventing him from forging an offensive spell instead. For this reason, Atamun II may well max [W] last. He will still invest a point into it at low level to gain access to Pulse and the all-important Drain, which enables him to tap enemy champions for mana from long ranges.

In teamfights
Atamun II should start each teamfight with full passive stacks. He has only one spell button, but can rapidly forge and unload new spells. After his first spell, he can immediately forge another one, then a third spell after 2.5 seconds, a fourth spell after 4 seconds, a fifth spell after 5.5 seconds, etc. Any auto attacks he manages to land will further improve his rate of fire. It does remain the case that the spell machinegun gradually runs out of bullets as the fight goes on.

He is very mobile with Warp and a decent initiator with Time-Warp-Drain, followed by another Warp based spell to get back out of trouble. He can also save lives with Plasma, though he lacks a way to instantly deliver a shield from a distance.

Meeting the criteria

Surviving the end
Atamun II survived an eruption and ensuing volcanic winter.

The passive gains stacks on auto attacks, which reduces the cooldown on his component abilities.
The third Plasma component recharges mana on a hit.

The mother of all multiple skills under one button: His [R] is 28 different abilities (including Forge Spell itself).


"You wish to learn from me, summoner?"

"We cannot wait much longer"
"The magocrats must be alive"
"Born to rule"
"Out of my way"
"You are with me or beneath me"
"With grace and power"
"Divines guide me"

"Knowledge is power"
"Allow me to demonstrate"
"I have spoken"
"Learn your place"
"The answer is always violence"
"Atan curse you"
"Kneel or be knelt"
"Magocrat says no"

Forging a spell
"Behold my spellwork!"
"A mighty weave"
"Just like the old days"
"I have not forgotten"
"My best work yet"
"Practical metaphysics"

If at least two components are Heat including the first:
"Pyro-vivic invocation!"
"Igniferous incant!"
"Abyssic terror-hex!"

If at least two components are Plasma including the first:
"Shielding dome of Deima!"
"Defensive ley lattice!"
"Refractive mythal!"
"Aegis of myst!"

If at least two components are Time including the first:
"Achronal arcano-matrix!"
"Hyperian clockstopper!"
"Sinister stasis scourge!"
"Timesink of Shesak!"

"My knowledge, your burden"
"I survived the end of our world, what hope do you have?"

"Burden of knowledge? It's not hard, all you have to do is stand there and get blown to bits"
*frog noise* "A Frost Toad? On Runeterra?"

Easter egg
When casting five elements before Forge Spell three separate times during a match, a flying taxicab appears and zooms across the screen.

Overall: 33/40
Lore 3/5
Stats: 5/5
gameplay 4/5 there is so much more to this champion that I feel I don't yet know. I feel like I barely even scratched the surface of understanding how this champion works
abilities :21/25


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Moby the White

Senior Member


Here's my submission for the January MCCC!

Ryne, the Dimension Escapee

Ryne [Pronounced "rine"] is an AP/AD hybrid assassin, relying on high mobility, burst, and avoiding damage to survive in fights.

She would be found top lane, mid, or as a gank-focused jungle.


Last Resort (Passive)

Whenever Ryne takes damage that would kill her, she survives with 1 hp, turns invisible, has all debuffs removed from her, gains 10/15/20/25 bonus movement speed and ignores unit collision for 3 seconds. This effect is ended if Ryne deals damage to an enemy.

Final Escape has a 4 minute cooldown.

Upgrades at levels 1, 6, 11 and 16.

Q: Dimension Shift

Passive - Emergency Shifting - Whenever a nearby allied minion dies, Dimension Shift's cooldown is reduced by .5 seconds. Whenever an allied champion dies, Dimension Shift's cooldown is refreshed.

Active - Immediately, Ryne switches dimensions, immobilizing herself while reducing all incoming damage by 65%70%/75%/80%/85% and becoming immune to disables for 1 second. At the end of this time, Ryne deals 100% of the damage that she has taken during this period (+0.2 ability power) (+0.35 bonus attack damage) to all units in a small area around her in magic damage.

Range (Passive Aura): 1000
AOE (Active): 375
Cooldown (Active): 16/15/14/13/12 seconds
Mana Cost: 85/95/105/115/125 mana

No channel time. A non-target ability.

W: Misdirected Shield

Ryne immediately shields target ally from 40/80/100/120/140 damage (+0.2 ability power) (+0.15 total attack damage) for 3/3.5/4/4.5/5 seconds.

While this shield is active, Ryne gains 16/20/24/28/32 bonus movement speed 15/20/25/30/35 bonus ability power and attack damage. She also gains the ability to use Expired Visit.

Expired Visit - Ryne immediately teleports to the location of the person who she has shielded. This removes both the shield and the Ryne's buff gained from the sheild.

Range (First cast): 575
Range (Expired Visit): 1000
Cooldown (After sheild is destroyed): 22/20/18/16/14 seconds
Mana Cost: 100/100/100/100/100 mana

Single target ability, cast on an allied champion. The second cast is non-target. No channel time occurs for either cast.

E: Bolt of Transport

Ryne fires a bolt of energy at target enemy minion, monster, or champion, dealing 95/120/155/180/215 (+1.2 attack damage) (+0.15 ability power) physical damage. If the target is killed, Ryne immediately teleports to the location where the unit died, and slows all units around the new location for 55%/60%/65%/70%/75% of their movement speed for 2 seconds.

Does not apply on hit effects.

Range: 1025
AOE (Of Slow): 425
Cooldown: 12/11/10/9/8 seconds
Mana Cost: 45/50/55/60/65 mana

This is a single target ability, cast on an enemy minion, monster, or champion. There is no channel time.

R (Ultimate): Grand Survival

Passive - Complete Adaption: For every 60/50/40 magic damage that Ryne receives, her magic resist goes up by 5/8/11 and her armor goes down by 4/6/8 for 4/5/6 seconds stacking up to 15/18/21 times. For every 60/50/40 physical damage that Ryne receives, her armor goes up by 5/8/11 and her magic resist goes down by 4/6/8 for 4/5/6 seconds stacking up to 10/14/18 times.

Active - For 7 seconds, Ryne gains full positive stacks of Complete Adaption [See note], regains 15/30/45 health per second, regains 15/25/35 mana per second, and gains 6%/9%/12% armor and magic penetration. While Grand Survival is on cooldown, the bonuses from Complete Adaptation are lost.

Note: Gaining "positive stacks" of Complete Adaptation means that full armor and magic resist bonuses will be gained without any of the reductions that normally come with the passive.

incomplete DQ

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Moby the White

Senior Member


ok heres my idea

the night spawn
Ranged Support Mage
(dark sorcerer type guy)
“We are here not to kill but to protect. Follow me and we might survive.” -Dracul

As a young boy his name was Abraham. He grew up orphaned in Noxous but brilliant. He Apprenticed as an alchemist and he grew to know much and his master learned of his nearly genius mind. Although he was a great worker he had a dark side. One day he was closing up shop alone and his master came back because he forgot one of his books. He found the boy in the library with a ritual mark on the wall. He had a old book out on his lap and was chanting something without noticing anything around him. The master snatched up the book and told him never to read it again. Abraham agreed but outsmarted his master. The next day he had stole the book back and did another ritual this time uninterrupted. The next days he was gone with the book some incense and all trace of him.
Within a week a well known Priest was found dead. He had no sign of physical damage but Written on the wall in blood was the signature Dracul and the words “we are here.” The next few days others were killed all with no marks on their body and all signed with Dracul. They were all priests and they all had made a commitment unknown to the public to unleash the void to roam the earth. As another surprize others disappeared and a suspected group of young rogue mages was made.
Some call him a monster but he is really a survivor as a small area his area of town was slaughtered by void monsters Dracul saved many others. This was the only place where the void ever reigned. By killing all monsters of the void before they ever got to harm anyone Dracul saved not only Noxous but the world.
After the outbreak was driven back he joined league of legends to take care of the rest of the scum.

eh.. spelling and grammar major errors. Transistions were non-existant. I found no real descriptive adjectives/adverbs or any source of creating cinematic appeal for readers. I found this lore incredibly hard to get through. 2/5

Appearance: Dracul is a teenage boy with dark brown long hair and a black robe with red dragon like patterns across it. He is about as tall and buff as Rize but he is much more 'human looking' He has Violit eyes and his patterns on his cloaky robe thing glow acording to his passive. The more stacks of his passive are applied the brighter he glows.


Q: Eliminate Target- Marks an ally champion first raising their AD and AP by 5/15/25/35/45. Next marks a Target enemy causing all damage from the marked ally champion towards the marked enemy to be increased by 10/17/24/31/38 True damage for each source of damage for 4 seconds.
Cool-down:12 seconds

this is a new type of targetting. the fact that you are challenging programmers with something new is pretty neat. I love the original idea. Seems generally balanced in terms of damage. I just wonder if it is self castable 4/5

W: Fade and crash- casts a veil over your self or an allied champion stealthing them for 2/2.5/3/3.5/4 seconds. Their next basic attack will deal an additional 10/30/50/70/90 magic damage + 40% of your AD as physical damage and stun the enemy for 0.5/0.75/1/1.25/1.5 seconds.
Mana: 75
Cool-down:10 seconds

seems relatively underpowered. The buff is low and damage and could stand to be buffed a little bit. Your stun is a little too op for coming out of stealth as well. 4/5

E: Soul Grab-Shoots a ghostly hand to a target champion Dealing 70/120/170/220/270 + 50% ability power in magic damage over 3 seconds and heals Dracul for 40/42.5/45/47.5/50 percent of the damage dealt.
Cool-down:4 seconds

looks like his main source of damage; however, the amount he heals for is quite a lot compared to vlad. this needs changed in order to be balanced and this concept screams vlad only with a hand rather than blood. 3/5

Ult: Rune of Destruction- after a brief delay Dracul launches a shot forward that deals 100/200/300 true damage +40% of your ability power as magic damage and 40% of you Attack damage as physical damage to the first enemy hit that enemy is left vulnerable and their armor and magic resist are reduced by 30/60/90 after wards ( can not have negative armor. )
Cool-down: 70 seconds

the damage here needs work. Its overpowered and has redundancy written all over it 3/5

Passive: Army of the night- Dracul's health regeneration and mana regeneration are increased by 2/4/6 per second for each nearby allied champion. He draws power from being together and teamwork.In addition Draculs nearby allies gains 50% of this boost while nearby. seems okay but you need to specify at which levels these increases occur 4/5

Range: 550
Damage 47.3 (+4 / per level)
Health 433 (+76 / per level)
Mana 230 (+47 / per level)
Move Speed 340
Armor 14 (+3.2 / per level)
Magic Resist 30 (+1.25 / per level)
Health Regen 7 (+0.5 / per level)
Mana Regen 7 (+0.5 / per level)

stats 5/5

Overall: 27/40
Lore 2/5
Stats: 5/5
Gameplay: 4/5

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Moby the White

Senior Member


Reginald, the Mace Destroyer

Reginald is a bruiser, who excels when outnumbered. He smashes his targets using a mace-and-chain on his right hand, and defends against attacks with a shield on his left hand. [Phrases in brackets are not shown in game but used to further explain strategy clarify things for you and/or judges]

Survivalist (innate): Reginald takes 20/30/40/50% less AoE damage depending on how outnumbered he is. [For example: Getting ganked while laning top is a 1v2, so Regi takes 20% less AoE. Being a hero and trying to 1v5 lets you take 40% less AoE.]
Range: 1200 (sight range) [Similar to how Irelia's passive works]

you named him reginald. i should slap you with negative bonus points. passive seems fine it works so long as they have a team with AOE. this does nothing about direct damage. seems situationally useless unless we are including the very broad definition of AOE as a whole then it is situationally slightly less useless. 3/5

Swing - Reginald swings his mace in a 120 degree arc in front of him, dealing 50/80/110/140/170 (+.5 AD) physical damage and briefly knocking enemies hit to his left. If an enemy champion is directly to his left when he pulls his mace back to him, that enemy is dragged to Reginald. If a monster or minion is to his left at the end of the ability, Reginald pulls himself to the target.
[This is can be used as an initiate for your team by dragging a target to Regi while slightly knocking away other enemies, or can be used to escape by hitting a minion or monster as doing so will drag Regi to the target, think Amumu or Lee Sin Q to jungle creeps to get away]
Cost: 80/90/100/110/120 mana
Cooldown: 18/16/14/12/10 seconds
Range: 450

I really want to see the escape side mechanic in action. Seems like a really versatile tool and pretty balanced except for high mana costs late game. 4/5

Vigilance - (Passive) Reginald gains 3/6/9/12/15 bonus health regeneration (per 5 seconds) when no other champions are within 750 range of him.
(Active) Every time an enemy champion casts a spell nearby, he gains 1 Vigor stack, up to 7. At 4 stacks, Reginald can heal himself and consume his Vigor stacks. At 5 and 6 stacks the heal amount is increased by 15% and 30%, respectively. With max stacks, Reginald removes all debuffs on himself (but does not heal) and consumes all Vigor stacks.
[There's a lot of strategy here, both for Regi and for enemies, and this ability really exemplifies how Regi becomes very strong when multiple enemies are nearby. As long as Regi has proper timing, he can escape a gank without much difficulty, since every time an enemy casts a spell nearby, he gets closer to shrugging off enemy CC. Enemies trying to gank should wait until Regi uses his W to heal himself, and then CC him while his stacks do nothing or only allow him to heal again; chaining CC would also work, similar to how one would CC Gangplank - try to bait the W.]
Heal amount at 4 stacks: 60/90/120/150/180 ( +.5 AP)
No cooldown, No mana cost

Interesting concept that requires actually skill to use rather than gangplanks get out of jail free card. 4/5 unique adaptation of resolving a problem with gankplank

Charge!/Hold the Fort - First cast: Reginald charges, shield forward, dealing damage to the first enemy hit, slowing it and those around the target for 2 seconds. If a target is hit, he can cast his E again at no extra mana cost. If no enemy champion is hit, the cooldown is halved.
Second cast: Reginald shifts to a defensive stance, increasing his armor at the cost of movement speed. Bonus armor: 30/45/60/75/90, loses 50/40/30/20/10 movement speed. Every time he is hit by a basic attack while in defensive stance the cooldown of this ability is reduced by .5 seconds. Defensive stance lasts up to 5 seconds or when canceled.
[This allows Reginald to use this spell for escaping or initiating. If he does not hit an enemy champion, the CD of charge is halved, allowing him to cast it more often, similar to how Nautilus's Q allows him to get away faster if he hits terrain. If Regi uses this to start a fight, he can charge to an enemy, and then switch to a tankier stance for better survivability against AD. Counterplay involves either ignoring Regi once he is in defensive stance, or casting AP spells on him, as he gains no MR while in defensive stance.]
Charge damage: 85/125/165/205/245 ( + 1.4 Bonus AD)
Slow: 15/20/25/30/35%
Mana cost: 80
Cooldown: 10
Charge range: ~600

The first active makes him a strong choice for running into teamfights and then taking damage with the second part.
you know this second active also really makes reginald a solid top laner even if he can't move he is likely to thwart attacks by switching into this stance I really see where you are going with this. 4/5 I would only nerf the bonus ad a bit .

Devastate - Reginald swings his giant mace forward with such energy that it roots the first enemy champion hit for 2 second(s), and deals 250/375/500 ( + .9 AD) physical damage to it [skillshot, not right click]. If an enemy champion is hit, the cooldown on his Q is refreshed.
Any enemy minions or monsters in the way will reduce the damage taken by the enemy champion by 5% per target hit, down to 75% of the initial damage. [this can be used in lane but is best used without creeps in the way, so Regi can take advantage of the full damage. Counterplay involves staying behind minions to reduce ult damage, and basically just staying away from Regi while his ult is up.]
Mana cost: 100
Cooldown: 85/75/65
Range: 550

Well then...the synergy with your Q is really nice. I dislike the whole monster minion business, but I guess this means you are encouraging teamfights away from minions. 3/5 does a lot of damage very little counterplay, mana cost is lower than Q and does not scale.


The Rakkor tribe that lives on Mount Targon has strict rules regarding the behaviors of its members. Males fight before their 16th nameday to wield the relic-weapons, yet there are other rules less known but no less deadly. Members who cannot pass rigorous mental or athletic tests are exiled or killed, and few ever escape, with one notable exception: Reginald. Born a few years after Pantheon, Reginald seemed like a worthy member of the Rakkor, and was even favored to win his relic-weapon battle, but during his training a more experienced member maimed him with a spear. Reginald could not fight his nameday battle nor participate in the pre-fight athletic competition, but was not executed because it was clear he did want to compete - yet it was also clear that his injury would cause him to lose. He was given the choice of exile or death, so Reginald left Mount Targon.

After healing from his injury, Reginald continued his training on his own, finding and modifying his own weapons, and seeking out others to practice against. Eventually a band of Rakkor crossed his path on their way to fight a group of Noxian soldiers, and not recognizing him, they left him alone. However, the battle went badly for the greatly outnumbered Rakkor group, and Reginald saw his chance to mend his relations with his people. He joined the fight with the Rakkor, turning the fight just enough to force a Noxian retreat. Reginald was all but certain that his tribe would take him back, but Jagen, the tribe leader, ordered his death instead for coming back after his exile. Not wanting to contradict his leader but seeing Reginald's determination, Pantheon suggested that Reginald join the League of Legends so his battle skills could be evaluated for all to see. Reginald graciously accepted, and now fights for his final redemption in the eyes of his people.

Well then...i didn't hate reading this one bit. Quite the opposite. You managed to create a character and developeed him through several crisis points and managed to have the reader become involved in the story. You used transistions that made sense and didn't lose the reader. I wish that certain scenes were more iconic or cinematic. Make it more vivid during the battle and I am sure it would be better. 4/5

Base stats:
Health: 456 (+95), 2166 at 18
Health Regen: 7.5 (+.85), 22.8 at 18
Mana: 200 (+40), 920 at 18
Mana Regen: 7(+.67), 19.06 at 18
Damage: 54.7(+3.4), 115.9 at 18
Attack Speed: .65(+3.4%),
Magic resist: 30(+1.25), 52.5 at 18
Armor: 19(+3.5), 82 at 18
Movespeed: 345


gameplay 5/5

overall 32/40
lore 4/5
gameplay 5/5
stats 5/5
abilities 18/25

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Moby the White

Senior Member


Still Eternity:
And now I finally enter! I bring forth my Champion,

Genesis, the Harbinger of Evolution (http://na.leagueoflegends.com/board/showthread.php?p=33217400#post33217400)

LORE: Lore: The League of Legends had always been a symbol of peace, yet it could only achieve it's status as such by waging constant wars from within. A paradox that the many citizens of Valoran would accept; the Institute of War was the only thing keeping the hated rival nations from starting another bloody war. But even so, as with many things run by the human race, it was imperfect.

Due to underhanded ventures from rival nations, corruption, and political misdirection, the League was eventually disbanded. Within the next ten years, another Rune War was raged, and the entire continent was reduced to nothing but a baren wasteland. However, there were some that managed to survive this war.

Viktor, the Machine Herald, had long expected such a thing; humans were such an imperfect species after all, and this outcome was only a matter of time. He had managed to secure his underground lair, and hide away before the Final Rune War tore apart the land. Now, only he and the few that served him, his acolytes, were the last surviving beings on Valoran. Years would still pass. Ivan, Viktor's most loyal and highly ranked follower, grew increasingly worried for their leader; he spent more and more time alone in his private quarters, working feverishly on a project. Concerned for his master, Ivan confronted him.

Viktor had explained that he felt the destruction of Valoran was his fault. He could not bring his vision, his Glorious Evolution, to life before the foolish humans had destroyed their world. It was then, however, within the midst of his explanation, Viktor achieved a breakthrough on his project; he had managed to re-create an Arcane Energy Crystal he had sought long ago, which had been destroyed by a rival of his. Viktor announced that now that he had re-fabricated the crystal from reverse engineering a few shards left from the original, he could enact a plan to save the Glorious Evolution. He asked Ivan for his body; in return, he would receive power beyond comprehension. Ivan, completely enraptured by the Herald, eagerly agreed.

Weeks passed. In what would be known to the last living people as the "Genesis Project", Ivan was torn apart, piece by piece, leaving the world of flesh forever. Now, only the beginning of a new age, "Genesis", would exist. Every bone, tendon, and ounce of blood was replaced with a robotic compartment. Finally, the last item was activated; the Arcane Crystal Viktor has created. Installing it in Genesis's chest, the creation whirred to life, reborn a perfect being, with all the memories he had from his previous life. With that, the two advanced to the final step. Using an old machine once used for enchanting powerful artifacts that had been re-purposed and the sheer power stored in the crystal, Viktor tore a hole through the fabric of space and time. With a few final words, Genesis marched through the tear, closing behind him just as quickly as it had opened. In transit, Genesis reflected on his master's final words; "You shall be the messenger of my Evolution; teach the men of flesh our ways, make our goals and the future of this world known, and find my old self. Give him this knowledge so that he may accelerate our Evolution"

Upon arriving in the past, Genesis looked up to find himself in front of an august looking building; The Institute of War. He chuckled to himself, and stepped forward. What better way to serve his master's goals, then showing the land their might on the world's stage?

"Adapt, frail humans, or you will be removed from this world by your own hands. " ~ Genesis

But he can't cross his own time space continuum or else he will cause a paradox that will tear apart the fabric of time and space!! O_O That and you are changing the course of history of your lore. You needed to have Viktor somehow learn of this knowledge via Genesis within your lore. I feel that if you somehow mention that this is what already happened that you would create the perfect loop. Otherwise it seems that it has failed. Also your lore feels a bit too much about Viktor and not enough about Genesis. Count how many times you say each name. I found several semicolon errors as well. I did however find this entertaining. 3/5

Stats: Health: 390 (+79 per Level)
Mana: 280 (+50 per Level)
Attack Damage: 57 (+3 per Level)
Attack Speed: 0.613 (+1.81% per Level)
Attack Range: 150
Health Regen: 7.45 (+0.85 per Level)
Mana Regen: 6.5 (+0.525 per Level)
Armor: 18 (+3.5 per Level)
Magic Resistance: 30 (+1.25 per Level)
Movespeed: 335


Passive: Glorious Evolution!: Genesis marks the beginning of a glorious new world, and both is constantly looking to upgrade and adapt, and revels in his own adaptations. Every few Levels, Genesis can upgrade a learned ability, and with every specific learned ability, he gains a specific stat boost

Every three Levels, (Levels 3, 6, 9, 12, 15, and 18) Genesis gains an Adaptation Point. He can spend these points on a learned ability to upgrade it, changing it to a different ability and gaining a specific stat boost along with it.
lots of synergy here and it works like Khazik it seems but i think the passives are far too much 4/5

Q: Phase Shot: Genesis unloads a charged bolt from his Phase Laser, dealing initial magic damage to an enemy and causing them to take burn damage for a short time.

Genesis unloads a bolt from his Phase Laser, dealing an initial 50/90/130/170/210 (+.5 of AP) and burning it's target for an extra 20/40/60/80/100 (+ .2 of AP) over 5 seconds.

[When this ability is first skilled, the small gun on his left shoulder that fires his auto attacks gains some size and looks more detailed]

Upgrade Beta: Refined Phase Blast: When his enemies show too much resilience to his attacks, Genesis can choose to adapt to this and enhance his Primary Weapon's attacks. He refines the bolts deployed from the weapon, causing them to deal more damage and reduce the resistances on his target

Genesis upgrades his Phase Shot Ability into the Refined Phase Blast ability, giving an additional .2 AP scaling on the initial damage, and another .2 AP scaling on the burn damage. It now also burns away 10% of their Armor and MR for the duration of the burn damage.

Glorious Evolution! Bonus: Genesis gains 10 AP for Upgrading this Ability.

[When this ability is upgraded, the small gun on his left shoulder gains additional size and looks more terrifying]

Upgrade Omega: Prismatic Phase Cannon Requiring additional damage on his primary weapon, Genesis upgrades his Phase Laser once more. It now gains a holo-targeted prismatic system, that causes his enemies suffering from his weapon's attack to take additional damage from all other sources.

Genesis upgrades his Phase Laser ability once more, from the Refined Phase Blast ability to the Prismatic Phase Cannon ability, which causes it to make the enemy it hits take 10% Additional Damage from all sources for the duration of the burn damage, and adding another .1 AP Ratio to it's Initial Damage and .1 AP Ratio on it's Burn Damage.

Glorious Evolution! Bonus: Genesis gains 30 AP for Upgrading this Ability.

[When this ability is upgraded, the moderately sized gun on his shoulder turns into a large rifle-like cannon, covered in mechanical parts and details.]

Linear Skillshot
Range: 800 Units
Damage: 50/90/130/170/210 (+.5 of AP) Initial, 20/40/60/80/100 (+ .2 of AP) Afterburn
Afterburn Duration: 5 Seconds
Upgrade Beta
Damage: Is now 50/90/130/170/210 (+.7 of AP) Initial, 20/40/60/80/100 (+ .4 of AP) Afterburn
Resistance Debuff: 10% Reduction on MR and Armor for 5 Seconds
Stat Gain: 10 AP
Upgrade Omega
Target hit receives 10% Additional Damage from all Sources for 5 Seconds.
Damage: Is now 50/90/130/170/210 (+.8 of AP) Initial, 20/40/60/80/100 (+ .5 of AP) Afterburn
Stat Gain: 30 AP

Mana Cost: 65/70/75/80/85 Mana
Cooldown: 10/9.5/9/8.5/8 Seconds
*All Damage done by this ability is Magical Damage*

there is a lot of info here....it does a lot of stuff but it requires skillplay and actually planning out strategy reacting to current information and adapting to it. Obviously fits the theme internally and externally. Maintains balance and never seems to grant too much buff. You actually have to put adapt pts in to get these bonuses it seems. 4/5

W: Hextech Targe: Passive: Genesis adjusts his inner proficiency to match the power of his nearby enemies; he will gain additional defenses the more enemies are in range.

Active: Genesis powers up his Hextech Targe with arcane energy, which both causes his Auto Attacks to deal additional magic damage and powers up a temporary frontal barrier which reduces all damage Genesis takes from the front.

Passive: Genesis receives an Armor and MR Bonus equal to 1/6th of the levels of all visible enemies within 1100 Units. oh wow...hmm that could be dangerous

Active: Genesis powers up his Hextech Target with arcane energy, giving him a shield that causes him to take 10%/15%/20%/25%/30% less damage from the front, and empowers his auto attacks, causing them to deal 40/70/100/130/160 + (.3 of AP) extra damage for a few seconds.

[When this ability is first skilled, the shield on Genesis's right arm expands a bit]

Upgrade Beta: Hextech Defense Matrix: Genesis finds that he requires more defenses in order to survive, so he upgrades his defensive capabilities. He now receives bonus resistances equal to 1/4 of visible enemy levels and gains an actual damage shield to protect him on cast for a few seconds.

Passive: Genesis upgrades his Hextech Targe ability in the Hextech Defense Matrix ability. He now gains Armor and MR equal to 1/4 of all visible enemy champion levels.

Active: When activated, Genesis now also gains a shield for 80/120/160/200/240 + (.3 of his AP) for 4 seconds.

Glorious Evolution! Bonus: Genesis gains 150 HP for upgrading this ability.

[When this ability is upgraded, Genesis's shield gains a glowing design on it.]

Upgrade Omega: Hextech Auxillery Barriers: Genesis decides he needs more defenses still, so he once more adapts and gains more defensive power. He now has shields on both arms, gaining his Resistance Bonus regardless of which direction he faces, and he now gains passive resistances equal to 1/3 of all visible enemy Champions.

Passive: When Genesis upgrades his Hextech Defense Matrix ability into the Hextech Auxillery Barriers ability, he now gains Armor and MR equal to 1/3 of the levels of all visible enemy champions.

Active: Genesis now receives his 10%/15%/20%/25%/30% damage reduction bonus regardless of direction he takes damage from.

Glorious Evolution! Bonus: Genesis gains 300 HP for upgrading this ability

[When this ability is upgraded, Genesis gains another shield on his left arm, which looks just as menacing as the one on the left.]

Self Centered
Passive: Gains Armor and MR equal to 1/6th of the Levels of all visible enemy Champions within 1,100 Units
Damage Reduction: 10%/15%/20%/25%/30% if taken from the Front of Genesis.
Auto Attack Damage: 40/70/100/130/160 + (.3 of AP)
Ability Duration: 7 seconds.
Upgrade Beta
Passive: Now Grants Armor and MR equal to 1/4th of the Levels of all visible enemy Champions within 1,100 Units
Shield: 80/120/160/200/240 + (.3 of his AP)
Shield Duration: 4 Seconds
Stat Bonus: 150 HP
Upgrade Omega
Passive: Now Gains Armor and MR equal to 1/3rd of the Levels of all visible enemy Champions within 1,100 Units
Damage Reduction: Now applies whether he receives damage from the front or back.
Stat Bonus: 300 HP

Mana Cost: 70/70/70/70/70
Cooldown: 24/22/20/18/16
*All Damage done by this Ability is Magic Damage*

quite possibly overpowered lasts 7 secs and shields for 4. So not only is it a shield but its also a damage reducer way too op. 3/5

E: Electric Impulse: Genesis activates the pistons in his legs in order to charge himself up with energy, and when an enemy is in view he will be able to move quicker towards them, and when in range of a melee attack, will deliver a large shock to their systems, dealing magic damage and slowing them for a time.

Genesis will gain a 35% Movespeed buff when moving towards an enemy, and his next melee attack will deal 80/120/160/200/240 + (.4 of AP) Bonus Magic Damage and slow the target by 30% for 1 second.

[When this ability is first skilled, his legs release a small burst of steam. They will emit steam whenever this ability gets activated]

Upgrade Beta: Advanced Lightning Impulse: Genesis finds he needs to catch up to his enemies faster, so he adapts and upgrades his response timers. He now gains a larger movespeed buff, and because of the extra electricity added to his systems, he does additional damage and will slow them for longer.

Genesis upgrades his Electric Impulse ability into the Advanced Lightning Impulse ability, causing him to now gain a 45% Movespeed increase when moving towards an enemy, and his next melee attack will do an additional 6% of their current HP as additional Magic Damage, while now slowing the enemy for 1.5 seconds.

Glorious Evolution! Bonus: Genesis gains 5% CDR for upgrading this ability.

[When this ability is upgraded, Genesis's legs gain additional details and emit more steam when the ability is activated]

Upgrade Omega: Accelerated Thunder Impulse: Genesis finds the need to move quickly more powerful than before, and so diverts even more power to his legs. He now gains his movespeed bonus regardless of moving towards an enemy or not, and his next melee attack will be so overloaded with electricity that it stuns it's target.

Genesis upgrades the Advanced Lightning Impulse ability into the Accelerated Thunder Impulse ability, causing him to gain his 45% Movespeed bonus regardless of moving towards an enemy or not, and his next attack will stun the target for 1.5 seconds instead of slowing them.

Glorious Evolution! Bonus: Genesis gains 10% CDR for upgrading this ability.

[When this ability is upgraded, Genesis's legs become fully upgraded; his legs will take up more of his character model and emit a burst of steam when he activates the ability]

Self Targeted
Movespeed Bonus: 30% When moving towards an enemy.
Movespeed Duration: 5 Seconds
Next Melee Attack: Will Deal 80/120/160/200/240 + (.4 of AP) Magic Damage
Slow: 30%
Slow Duration: 1 Second
Duration of Empowered Next Melee AA: 5 Seconds.
Upgrade Beta
Movespeed Bonus: Now 45% When moving towards an enemy.
Next Melee Attack: Now does an extra 6% of the target's current HP as Magic Damage
Slow: 30%
Slow Duration: 1.5 Seconds
Stat Bonus: 5% CDR
Upgrade Omega
Movespeed Bonus: Applies whether moving towards an enemy or not.
Stun: Now stuns instead of slows
Stun Duration: 1.5 Seconds
Stat Bonus: 10% CDR

Mana Cost: 60/70/80/90/100
Cooldown: 18/17.5/17/16.5/16 Seconds
*All damage done by this ability is Magic Damage*

seems relatively okay good damage and chase feature. I am just worried that giving it a cdr passive makes it op 4/5

Ultimate: Gravitic Prison : Genesis unleashes the power bestowed upon him to lock down those that threaten the Glorious Evolution, firing a beam at them from the cannon on his back. The beam's properties deal a burst of magic damage to the target, and root them in place for a few seconds.

Genesis unleashes a beam from the cannon on his back, dealing 200/350/500 (+.6 of AP) Magic Damage and rooting it's target for 1 second.

[When this ability is skilled the first time, the cannon on Genesis's back extends out slightly, indicating it is operational]

Upgrade Beta: Enhanced Gravitic Confinement: Genesis decides that his foes greatly threaten the Glorious Evolution, and as such upgrades his Ultimate Ability. He increases the power of the Gravity Cannon, which causes the target hit by the ability to become rooted in place for longer and will afterwords be slowed for a few seconds.

Genesis upgrades his Gravitic Prison ability into the Enhanced Gravitic Confinement ability, which causes his target to be rooted in place for 2 seconds and will be slowed by 30% for 1.5 seconds after the root ends.

Glorious Evolution! Bonus: Genesis gains 7% Spell Penetration for upgrading this ability.

[When this ability is upgraded, the cannon on Genesis's back extends out further, and looks more threatening]

Upgrade Omega: Cybertech Gravitic Singularity: Genesis finds his foes are too numerous to deal with all at once. So he adapts once again, this time enhancing his ultimate ability to it's peak. Now, when he unleashes his Gravity Gun on his target, all enemies around that target are also affected by his ultimate ability and all of it's effects.

Genesis upgrades his Enhanced Gravitic Confinement ability into the Cybertech Gravitic Singularity ability, which causes any enemy within 300 Units of his initial target to also feel the weight of his ability on them, dealing all of his other effects to them as well, including the damage, root, and slow afterwords.

Glorious Evolution! Bonus: Genesis gains 10% Spell Penetration for upgrading this ability.

[When upgrading this ability, the cannon on his back looks even more devious, extends out even further, and takes up more of his character model]

Targeted Ability
Only Works on Champions
Range: 650 Units
Damage: 200/350/500 (+.6 of AP)
Root Duration: 1.5 Seconds
Channel Time: 0.25 Seconds
Upgrade Beta
Root Duration: Increases to 2 Seconds
Slow: 30%
Slow Duration: 1.5 Seconds
Stat Bonus: 7% Spell Penetration
Upgrade Omega
AoE: 300 Units around targeted Champion.
Stat Bonus: 10% Spell Penetration

Mana Cost: 125/175/225 Mana
Cooldown: 115/95/75 Seconds

*All Damage done by this ability is Magic Damage*

high mana cost and another slow plus bonus magic pen. this guy does a lot of stuff for free. and I really don't like that. 4/5

gameplay 4/5 seems far too op being that he does so much stuff for "free." But the idea is neat and it fits the theme quite well

Overall: 31/40
Gameplay: 4/5
Lore: 3/5
Abilities: 19/25
Stats: 5/5

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Moby the White

Senior Member


well I am halfway done I shall take a break for now and watch some dr. who