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I'll give you 975 Rp for a joke..

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Nidoking

Member

12-18-2012

ill tell you a story about my *****......nevermind its too long.


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Blarney Stoner

Junior Member

12-18-2012

How many Summoners does it take to troll the NA servers?



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a) A Brazilian !


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Arcane Azmadi

Senior Member

12-18-2012

Nasus walks into a bar and asks for a pint of beer. The barman says "Sorry, no dogs allowed".

"Oh come on," complains Nasus. "You have to allow seeing eye dogs, don't you?"

The barman scoffs. "What, you expect me to believe YOU'RE a seeing eye dog?"

Nasus blinks, looks around him and says in a confused voice "Now where the hell did my dog go...?"


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Lee Is My Name

Senior Member

12-18-2012

Okay, it's rather long but it's my favorite joke.

There was this businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn't much like the idea of her screwing someone else.

So he went to a store that sold *** toys and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized *** doll, but that was too close to another man for him. He was browsing through the *****s, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his situation, the old man "Well, I don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating *****s, special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except..." and he stopped."

"Except what?"

"Nothing, nothing."

"C'mon, tell me ! I need something!"

"Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is the 'voodoo dick.'"

"So what's up with this voodoo dick?" the businessman asked.

The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box, carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very ordinary-looking *****. The businessman laughed, and said "Big ****ing deal. It looks like every other ***** in this shop!"

"Ahh, but you haven't seen what it'll do yet."

He pointed to a door and said "Voodoo dick, the door."

The voodoo dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started screwing the keyhole. The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack developed down the middle. Before the door could split, the old man said

"Voodoo dick, get back in your box!"

The voodoo dick stopped, floated back to the box and lay there, quiescent once more.

Businessman "I'll take it!"

The old man resisted, saying "it wasn't for sale", but he finally surrendered to $700 in cash. The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special ***** and that to use it, all she had to do was say...

"Voodoo dick, my *****."

He left for his trip satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.

After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny. She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered the voodoo dick. She got it out, and said "Voodoo dick, my *****!" The voodoo dick shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before.

After three orgasms, she decided she'd had enough, and tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgot to tell her how to shut it off. So she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive to the hospital, quivering with every thrust of the ***** On the way, another orgasm nearly made her swerve off the road, and she was pulled over by a policeman. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink. Gasping and twitching, she explained that she hadn't been drinking, but that a voodoo dick was stuck in her *****, and wouldn't stop screwing.

The officer looked at her for a second, and then said:

"Yea, right. Voodoo dick, my ass!"


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Ziach

Junior Member

12-18-2012

Call of Duty multiplayer


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Herald

Member

12-18-2012

Why shouldn't you marry a Tennis Player? Because Love means Nothing to them!


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DMF MelioDas

Junior Member

12-18-2012

A horse walks into a bar,
the bartender asked "Why the long face?"


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PandaRanger

Senior Member

12-18-2012

3 blonde women are stuck on an island.

They find a magic lamp and after rubbing it a genie pops out.

The 1st blonde says: 'I want to get off this island but I can't seem to figure out how. I wish to be 25% smarter.'

The genie clicks his fingers and the 1st blonde turns into a brunette and she starts swimming for the nearest land.

The 2nd blonde says: 'Well I can't swim very well, there must be another way. I wish to be 50% smarter.'

The genie clicks his fingers and the 2nd blonde constructs a wooden raft and starts sailing for the nearest land.

The 3rd blonde, after thinking for a very long time finally decides: 'I wish to be 100% smarter.'

The genie clicks his fingers, the 3rd blonde turns into a man and he takes the bridge.


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meimaguy

Member

12-18-2012

Three whales fall from the sky. Two land on ground. One lands in water. Badum TSH.

Have you heard the joke about the pizza? It's pretty cheesy.

~That joke is called 'there's a reason I haven't quit my day job'


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Jryiah

Member

12-18-2012

Well three girls were coming home from the club. One was a brunette, the other was a redhead, the last was a brunette. They all had a little to drink that night, and on the way home a cop tries to pull them over.

The redhead was driving and as you already know, redheads are trouble. So she put the petal to the metal and tried to get away. They managed to loose site of the cop and pulled the car into the ally and decided to hide. They killed the engine and left the vehicle, going to a dumpster nearby. Next to the dumpster, there were 3 potato sacks, so they went for it.

The cop finally caught up to the car and realized the girls were not in it. Just then something caught his eye and he decided to check it out. It was the potato sacks.

He poked the first one with his nightstick, it was the brunette. She made a convincing wolf wolf! And the cop thought, "Okay its just some dogs."

He poked the next one the redhead was hiding in. She made a convincing, meow! And the cop thought, "Okay its just some cats."

The officer poked the last sack which the blond was in. The blond responded....

POTATOES!