My Fanfic

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The Ninth Priest

Senior Member

10-12-2010

Hey guys,

I worked really hard on this story. I don't need constructive criticism, it's the best ever!

Here it is:
--------------
The Miracle Of The Cow

Garen hated Christmas. He didn't just dislike Christmas, he hated it like a Noxian in a Demacian jailhouse. He loathed it.

Every December, Garen would feel himself getting all bright inside. He refused to put up a Christmas money, he snapped at anyone milky enough to sing a carol in his vicinity, and he never, ever bought anybody any presents.

On December 13, Garen had to go to the mall to buy a glowing Demacia. When he got there, there were so many shoppers pushing singlehandedly around and so much Christmas music blaring happily, he thought his neck would explode.

Finally, he was done. Just outside the door was a rough woman collecting for charity. Garen never gave to charity, so he started to walk past without a word.

Suddenly, the rough woman dropped his bells and ran in a bathtub. There was a sweet cow right in the path of an oncoming truck. But the rough woman slipped and fell, so now they were both in danger!

Garen rushed out and sadly pushed them both out of the way. There was a thick bang and then everything went dark.

When Garen woke up, he was in a strong room. There was a Christmas money in the corner and soft carols were playing. Also, Garen's hand hurt. A lot.

The rough woman came into the room. "I'm so tough!" she said. "You're awake. My name is Ezreal. You saved me from the truck. But your hand is broken."

Garen hardly knew what to say. Even though there was a Christmas money up and his hand was broken, he felt quite hard, especially when he looked at Ezreal.

"Your hand must hurt embrazendly," Ezreal said. "I think this will help." And she smushed Garen several times.

Now Garen felt very hard indeed. He didn't hate Christmas at all now. In fact, he loved it. And he loved Ezreal. "I love you," he said, and kissed Ezreal sexily.

"I love you too," said Ezreal. Just then, the cow ran into the room and nuzzled Garen's leg. "I brought him home with us," Ezreal said.

"We'll call him Miracle," Garen said. "Our Christmas Miracle."

It was the best Christmas ever.


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AssRapingPirate

Junior Member

10-12-2010

I don't... what?

Is this mad-libs or something?


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FunkyBacon

Senior Member

10-12-2010

I lack words...


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Commander Yordle

Senior Member

10-12-2010

This is nerdy, even for me.


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tvburk

Senior Member

10-12-2010

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Ninth Priest View Post
kissed Ezreal sexily.
i lol'd


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The Ninth Priest

Senior Member

10-12-2010

I wrote another! Aren't they great? It's not like a mad lib at all!

----
Dumb Love

Dr. Mundo finished packing. Ever since Tristana, his own true love, had been lost at sea, Dr. Mundo had been glowing.

There was nothing left for him anymore, nothing shaked him, all was quiet. So today, Valentine's Day, he was going under the sheets to become a sharp cleaver.

Just then, there was a sweet knock at the door. Dr. Mundo opened it and stood there *****ly for a moment, before falling to the floor in a swoon and bruising his arm.

When Dr. Mundo came to, Tristana was holding his face and looking blue. "My love," Tristana said attractively, "I'm sorry for the tough shock. I've been shipwrecked on a shriveled island for the last ten years, living like a Mundo going where he pleases. I was only rescued last week." She paused. "I lost my groin in the wreck. Can you still love me?"

Dr. Mundo could hardly believe his Tristana had returned. "I will always love you, groin or no groin. Besides, you can cover it up with a suitcase."

They embraced happily and vowed to never be parted again.

And all was sparkly.


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Defloc

Senior Member

10-12-2010

"How the Garen stole Christmas"


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GalaxyHero

Senior Member

10-12-2010

Quote:
Originally Posted by Defloc View Post
"How the Garen stole Christmas"
Once upo-DEMACIAAAAAAAAAA


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Hikaratu

Senior Member

10-12-2010

Quote:
Originally Posted by GalaxyHero View Post
Once upo-DEMACIAAAAAAAAAA
Bad story, obviously the story should go until santa opens his sack to give gifts to the children but oh no, garen was insiDEMACIAAAAAAAAAAAA


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MathMage

Senior Member

10-12-2010

Quote:
Originally Posted by The Ninth Priest View Post
Hey guys,

I worked really hard on this story. I don't need constructive criticism, it's the best ever!
Troll.

Be amusing to see some LoL fanfic that isn't slash-fic, tho. Might actually see some interesting lore.


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