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Unfortunately with the change to jungle I find it more beneficial to just farm the jungle so that I can out-level the other lanes while getting gold and people don't seem to understand that. Unless the enemy is right on and attacking a tower or a kill is guaranteed it isn't worth it to me going out and losing on the xp until I hit level 6.
This line of thinking is actually incorrect, and if this is the only way that Hecarim can be played since the S3 changes, you don't need to be playing Hecarim.
For starters, you don't have to kill anyone for the gank to be successful. Forcing a flash, exhaust, or maybe an ultimate is enough for a successful gank. And sometimes, by going in and forcing this, leaving, then immediately returning, you end up successfully ganking the lane.
Next, especially as the jungle, you have to think about the team as a whole. What's best for Hecarim to get experience and gold in the jungle may not be best for the team as a whole, because by the time laning phases end, your team may be down three turrets and the enemy top and mid are fed, while your top and mid were getting zoned. Best case scenario here, you're maybe slightly ahead of the enemy jungler if he also never ganked and his clear time is slower. Worst case scenario, you're way behind him because he was ganking a lot and getting gold/xp from the ganks.
This isn't to say you should be non-stop ganking. It's just to emphasize the fact that if an enemy laner is pushed to your turret, you need to gank him both to potentially get a kill/assist and some gold, but also to help out your teammate in that lane so he doesn't get zoned out and become useless late game.
If your teammate dies once, that's his fault. He got outplayed. If your teammate is hugging the turret and dies three, four, five times in lane? That's the junglers fault for never giving him a gank and letting his lane opponent continue to snow ball. And when this happens, that's a problem for the entire team, because now the team has to figure out how to stop a fed Katarina, or Jax, or Ezreal, or whoever, because that champion got so much gold in laning phase by snowballing on someone.