"Gains 10% of the items" What do those words MEAN? They have no meaning in the context of League! They're just...words. Words that do nothing to convey anything other than a visual change when holding items, which makes no sense if the item in question is a boot or a chestplate!
500 knockback is excessive, especially with such a short cooldown. Might as well read "Melee champions are irrelevant against her."
That isn't a passive effect, that's just an effect of the storm. A passive effect would be active constantly, with or without the ability being active. Regardless, not really much of a wall and really just functions as a larger version of Graves' Smoke Grenade with a slow attached to it and really, really awkward wording.
This ability keeps popping up. Doesn't have synergy with her kit. She has two slows, only one of which deals damage and only when she hasn't knocked them away with her only damage dealing basic ability.
Ult is a giant AoE heal, which doesn't really help much. Makes her indestructible for a bit, but that's about it. With no real damage output and only cc effects going for her, she's basically relegated to support duty, which isn't bad but she's so redundant that I can't say I'm really intrigued by anything she does.
Lore is as artificial as it gets. After an excessive explanation on the world the trio come from (Which isn't necessary, seeing as Nasus's lore already explained most everything and significantly shorter), we end up with a character being shoehorned in with a ridiculous role that makes no sense and excessive melodrama. Your excessive lore neither convinced me that a third sibling was needed nor convinced me that you actually know much of League Lore in general.
In short, not too impressed. She's unnecessarily wordy and lacks any real punch.
I generally wait a bit before responding to reviews but seeing as you seem to be more attacking my concept rather than critiquing it I think I'll go ahead and get it out of the way.
First, that's a typo. She's supposed to receive 10% stats from items held in those slots. And the only take a physical appearance on the character if the item is categorized in the aforementioned list. Also her passive, although thought out, was mostly a throw-on. Gradunk and I occasionally spitball ideas for changing it.
Just as you could have simply said "500 knockback is too much." Which would have been fine and I would have adjusted it. I will still do so but only because I happen to agree with you.
Actually, if you look at it. This ability technically is her kit. Her other abilities, even her ult, have an affect on it. In its design and function it has near perfect synergy with her kit. The only one that would really be in question would be her Q. Even then, it has a role in making her W even better.
I'm sorry but you've seemed to caught on to her point without realizing it. Support duty is her main function. However, if built decently she is made more to outlast her opponents rather than brawling with them. The flaw in that is if she's up against anyone that's basically fed or someone that's ranged where she needs to get close. Of course, it's not just support who could meet such situations.
I want to quote a line from Nasus' lore.
Wulffle, I dont think that Slacker is here to give any real constructive criticism but to just degrade people because they dont have any real imagination of their own.
But in more important matters, I think your concept is awesome, and would really put a new dynamic in the league with her being a support champ who is a sister of nasus and renekton. I do also think that we need a ranged champ that connects with them.
pretty sweet concept. +1. 1 question. i myself am in the process of creating a champion called esoris, the dragon of the void and i am in need of concept art. How did you create the thumbnales for her abilities? BTW here is a ink if you want to check esoris out for yourself. http://na.leagueoflegends.com/board/....php?t=3155891
Esoris is still under construction btw. Base stats need thawing out.
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