Atel, The Fractured Assassin

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Mytharionas

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Senior Member

01-11-2013

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While one of them is tagged out are they still regening hp naturally? If you said something in your original post I must have missed it. This is just a concern of mine as because if you can't see both bars you might put yourself in a dangerous situation if you forget one of them already had low health. Them regening health while tagged out or even getting a % of the lifesteal and would be very beneficial to their survival.
As it happens, I don't think I touched on what happens either. Yes, the one who is tagged out does regenerate health. As for how you can tell, her HP bar will have two layers; the standard green bar and a secondary yellow bar behind it. The yellow bar indicates the health of the tagged persona, but you won't be able to see it with a full green bar.

I very much like your idea of allowing the tagged persona to benefit from lifesteal. I'm worried this might make her overpowered, but you seem like you have a good grasp on balance. If this can work, by all means let me know.

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Also the passive. If one of them dies and SiS brings the other one in, after the cooldown period is over how much health does the other one have? Does it just start her off at full health or does it just rez her with low health to be tagged in with low health.
I'm not sure about this one. I was initially thinking full health, due to her actual health being incredibly low. I'd have to get a second opinion on that one though.

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I really like this champ. seems like it would be a really fun top lane or mid to play with. At first glance I thought her overall damage was on the low side, but all her utility makes up for it. I love the quotes and the jokes. You're really good with those details, where i'm more of a number cruncher trying to make sure each ability has the proper strengths and that my character will be powerful enough without people crying for nerfs.
I can't say i'm all that good with numbers when it comes to making skills. I get much more invested in my aesthetics and lore. I like to try and create different kinds of playstyles, preferably something that LoL doesn't quite have yet, but that tends to result in balance issues. Glad to see i've done a good job on this one.

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I must say, I was initially confused as to how playing Atel would work, and I guess I'd have to get my hands on her in-game to truly work it out for myself. Playing aside, very nice champion concept! I like the multiple personality thing as I had a champ idea in mind that had several and the distribution of skill points affected how the champion would work at subsequent levels. But I really like the concept, I don't play assassins much but I think I'd have to make an exception if this champ ever went into game.
If only we had a way to create our champions in some sort of server and give them a test run on the Fields of Justice. It'd be a godsend in helping me figure out the proper ranges.

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I also like the attention to detail in the jokes (hilarious by the way) and the general interaction between the two in their dialogue.
Buddy banter was something I wanted to see in LoL in some form or another for quite a while. I don't think we have someone on the actual roster that uses it aside from Pulsefire Ezreal. I decided that Schizophrenia was a great place to make that happen, and Atel just came out perfectly in that regard.

Thanks for checking out my work, and i'll get to writing some reviews for ya. I've got a bit more on my plate today than i've had in a very long time, so i'll be getting to work shortly.


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Popushi

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Junior Member

01-13-2013

If I could ever voice a champion, it would be something like this. I find this hilarious! LOL

I do sincerely hope that this gets noticed and seriously considered for a champion idea. How the hell do you guys come up with this stuff!? Ahhhh

*Bump Bump Bump*


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Madballa007

Senior Member

02-02-2013

Ok so the concept as a whole is great. The idea of having two champs in one has always been an idea bounced around but you gave it a unique spin in that it is just a mental split. I feel it could get confusing though for the moves Tag Out! and Schizofriends if they look the same as if the persona were on the field making it hard to determine who is targetable. So a suggestion would be a shadowy version of the other person appears and doesnt solidify until the actual switch is made. Now onto the individual abilities.
Passive- great idea to keep the dual persona up and the 50% health works well with it but i think a 30 second zilean ult might be a little overpowered. maybe have the last cooldown be a bit higher.
Q- The writing was a bit confusing but from what i understand you empower your next two auto attacks the first adding damage and the second giving either a rengar out of the bush type jump or the shield with lifesteal. this is pretty good to help define one as a duelist and one as a chaser and works well. the name could use a little work though.
W- the duration reset when you switch between the two is a little strong i might only do it for half the original duration since no one would like a AS or MS slow on an assassin that lasts 6 seconds.so it would be the original 3 seconds and then add 1.5 if you do decide to switch.
E- The line idea is good but im wondering if the line is created or if it is attached to the champion. I think either way the damage could go up for Atel just to make dueling him in the line even worse of an idea like trying to duel rumble on his ult.
R- I love the name and the fact that there isnt just one way to switch between the two. I do think that the duration is a little long but other than that it seems like a great ability.


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Mytharionas

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Senior Member

02-03-2013

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I feel it could get confusing though for the moves Tag Out! and Schizofriends if they look the same as if the persona were on the field making it hard to determine who is targetable. So a suggestion would be a shadowy version of the other person appears and doesnt solidify until the actual switch is made.
I imagined that an aura or particle explosion would suffice to show which character is which when using Tag Out!, but I do like the shadowy version idea for the characters themselves. As for Schizofriends, if the main persona uses it on an enemy, the other persona will piggy-back onto an enemy and stab away.

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Passive- great idea to keep the dual persona up and the 50% health works well with it but i think a 30 second zilean ult might be a little overpowered. maybe have the last cooldown be a bit higher.
You may be right. 40 seconds work?

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Q- The writing was a bit confusing but from what i understand you empower your next two auto attacks the first adding damage and the second giving either a rengar out of the bush type jump or the shield with lifesteal. this is pretty good to help define one as a duelist and one as a chaser and works well. the name could use a little work though.
I could be wrong, but "red smile" is another term for slashing someone's throat. Being an assassin, I thought a combat term with "smile" in it was a perfect fit for someone who borders the line between cheery and homicidal.

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W- the duration reset when you switch between the two is a little strong i might only do it for half the original duration since no one would like a AS or MS slow on an assassin that lasts 6 seconds.so it would be the original 3 seconds and then add 1.5 if you do decide to switch.
Also a pretty good idea.

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E- The line idea is good but im wondering if the line is created or if it is attached to the champion. I think either way the damage could go up for Atel just to make dueling him in the line even worse of an idea like trying to duel rumble on his ult.
The line is not attached to Atel. As for damage, the ability is not about using damage, but about the CC. Bush-checking, ambushing, and cutting off escape routes. Also, taking power out of an ability allows me to put it in somewhere else.

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R- I love the name and the fact that there isnt just one way to switch between the two. I do think that the duration is a little long but other than that it seems like a great ability.
If it was slightly above the norm before, I think the nerfs on her passive and W should be enough to retain balance if left as is.


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Nazrethim

Senior Member

02-06-2013

I'm a bad reviewer but a good bumper. I really have interest in this champion so I hope you get more deep reviews so you can carry this project further ^_^


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QueenMyrrah

Junior Member

02-06-2013

This is a fantastic champion, or should I say double champion idea. We need more champions with humor and what better way then a champion with double personality. Its fantastic. The moves are quite interesting. I would like to hopefully see them in action.


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MilkusWolfus

Senior Member

02-25-2013

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Originally Posted by Mytharionas View Post
Passive: Sisters In Spirit - Atel and Leta are separate entities, but they must make do with one body. Whenever Atel dies, she is reborn as Leta after a 2 second delay. Whenever Leta dies, she is reborn as Atel after a 2 second delay. This ability has a 60/50/40 second cooldown. Bonus health received from items is cut by 50%.
[P]:I imagine this being somewhat similar to Anivia's egg form. Will return to this after I look at the other skills.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mytharionas View Post
Q: Red Smile - Atel empowers her next attack, causing it to deal 25/50/75/100/125(+0.5AD) additional physical damage. Hitting an enemy with Red Smile empowers the next attack with a bonus effect. The state in which Red Smile's first attack can be used lasts 6 seconds, and if it is not used, the ability skips straight to the next bonus effect. Her next basic attack gains a bonus effect:
Red Smile - Atel: Next attack has 30% lifesteal and grants Atel a shield equal to the damage done on her initial strike.
Red Smile - Leta: Next attack has 30% lifesteal and teleports Leta to the front of her target.
[Q]:So this is a 2 part basic attack amplifier? Interesting. I like this idea. On Leta's 2nd strike teleporting her to her target confuses me, Isn't she melee? Teleporting when your already right in front of them seems, for the lack of a better word, senseless. =/

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Originally Posted by Mytharionas View Post
W: Tag Out! (Atel) -Atel calls for help, and Leta appears at the target location to intimidate nearby enemies, decreasing their movement speed by 20/25/30/35/40% for 3 seconds. Tag Out can be activated a second time within 3 seconds to switch from Atel to Leta. Switching over to Leta refreshes half the duration of the debuff and does not trigger Sisters In Spirit.

W: Tag Out! (Leta) -Leta calls for help, and Atel appears at the target location to distract nearby enemies, decreasing their attack speed by 20/25/30/35/40% for 3 seconds. Tag Out can be activated a second time within 3 seconds to switch from Leta to Atel. Switching over to Atel refreshes half the duration of the debuff and does not trigger Sisters In Spirit.
[W]: 2 things. They share a body so when you say one of them appears at target location are they like a spirit or something? Secondly when reactivated does the player switch to the 'Other's spirit' location (the target location) or does the player stay in the same place? Either way I like the debuffs for both. Iffy on them refreshing half the duration. Just kinda increases the amount of text the player will have to read.

E: Falling Stars (Atel) - Atel amasses magical shuriken in a line, dealing 25/40/55/70/85(+0.6AD) physical damage to targets within the line every second. The line lasts three seconds. Enemies hit are revealed for 2 seconds on the first attack, 4 on the second, and 6 on the third.

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Originally Posted by Mytharionas View Post
E: Falling Stars (Leta) - Leta amasses explosive caltrops in a line, dealing 75/120/165/210/255(+0.6AD) physical damage to targets within the line after a period of 1.5 seconds. Enemies hit by the detonation are stunned for 1 second.
(Targetting is similar to Rumble's Ult and Viktor's Death Ray. Line starts from the middle and goes in opposite directions.)
[E]:Ok on Atel's it 'throws' 3 shurikens? It just isn't plural so it confused me for a sec. Interesting idea. Definitely something I'd like to see.

On Leta's I feel like a slow would be on a skill using caltrops but that might put too much cc on an ability. Possibly add a low damage DoT every .5s they are on the caltrops before it explodes. Other than that gives enough for counter play and not a huge stun so good deal.

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Originally Posted by Mytharionas View Post
R: Schizofriends (Atel) - Atel tosses her orb at an enemy champion, signalling Leta to gouge their eyes out! While Leta is on a target, she will auto-attack them for 100/125/150% of her AD and remove their vision of allied units (and vice versa) for up to 5 seconds. This ability lasts 5 seconds. Leta is untargetable for the duration of the ability.

R: Schizofriends (Leta) - Leta tosses her orb at an enemy champion, signalling Atel to hold them steady! While Atel is on a target, she will auto-attack them for 75/87.5/100% of her AD and grant Leta's attacks the ability to slow the target for 30/40/50% for 2 seconds. This ability lasts 5 seconds. Atel is untargetable for the duration of the ability.

Schizofriends can be activated a second time to immediately switch bodies (If Atel does this, she disappears and the player controls Leta, if Leta does this, she disappears and the player controls Atel. While Schizofriends is active, the primary effect of W triggers from the marked target's position and the secondary effect becomes unavailable.
[R]: Oh man this ultimate pushes her/them over the top in my opinion. Too, too strong. Nothing the other team can do to stop Leta from ripping into a foe with such high damage. She could destroy a team while Atel sit under a turret looking at what she is going to buy next. Procs [W] debuffs as well? This ability is way overpowered.

Overall: Highly complex champion with some good ideas. Couple concerns around if her passive being on cooldown and still being able to use her [W] and [R]. The combination of [W] and [R] is scary to say the least, a bit much I must say. (I'm not innocent in creating similar champions) but I feel maybe breaking up the definitions instead of a paragraph of information all jumbled together could help clear some things up. I do like the idea and theme of her but her kit seems a bit too strong for me even with the reduced max health, See [R] making the spirit untargetable kind of nulls this.


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Mytharionas

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Senior Member

02-25-2013

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On Leta's 2nd strike teleporting her to her target confuses me, Isn't she melee? Teleporting when your already right in front of them seems, for the lack of a better word, senseless. =/
The 2nd attack more or less functions like Katarina's Shunpo. In other words, Leta's second attack is ranged and teleports her to the enemy. It only works on the 2nd attack, so you'll need to use a melee attack in order to unlock it.


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2 things. They share a body so when you say one of them appears at target location are they like a spirit or something? Secondly when reactivated does the player switch to the 'Other's spirit' location (the target location) or does the player stay in the same place?
Yeah, the inactive persona manifests as a spirit. And yes, the player switches positions when they reactivate this ability. You use this ability as Atel, she will disappear and the player will switch over to Leta, in both control and position.

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Iffy on them refreshing half the duration. Just kinda increases the amount of text the player will have to read.
Perhaps, though it is one of two crucial pieces of information touched on near the end. I'm not sure it needs to be eliminated if the other bit about the passive requires mention.


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Ok on Atel's it 'throws' 3 shurikens? It just isn't plural so it confused me for a sec. Interesting idea. Definitely something I'd like to see.
I assumed shuriken was similar to kunai or ninja in terms of how the plural is used. On other note, I intended for the visual to include 7-11 tiny shuriken flying about. The amount of visual shuriken will have no impact on the mechanical aspect of the ability.

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On Leta's I feel like a slow would be on a skill using caltrops but that might put too much cc on an ability. Possibly add a low damage DoT every .5s they are on the caltrops before it explodes. Other than that gives enough for counter play and not a huge stun so good deal.
I was focused more on the explosive aspect than the caltrops. Perhaps bombs would be more fitting for the skill alone, but pairing shuriken and bombs didn't really make sense to me.


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[R]: Oh man this ultimate pushes her/them over the top in my opinion. Too, too strong. Nothing the other team can do to stop Leta from ripping into a foe with such high damage. She could destroy a team while Atel sit under a turret looking at what she is going to buy next. Procs [W] debuffs as well? This ability is way overpowered.
I think you're overestimating the impact of the ability. Atel is meant to be a duelist in one half and a burst AD assassin on the other. In order for her to use Leta to attack an enemy, she would have to remain as Atel, which has much weaker damage output in favor of survivability. So yes, Atel's Schizofriends would be quite powerful in terms of sheer damage, but if the enemy goes after Atel with equally threatening DPS, the enemy can burst down Atel rather quickly and nullify most of the ultimate...

Actually, this does bring up something important. If the main persona dies while Schizofriends is active, neither the damage nor the invulnerability should continue. I was also going to bring up something about Schizofriends' damage being significantly weaker without other abilities triggering, but a 150% damage might still be too high.

That said, I still don't think the W thing is any stronger than manually aiming it at the enemy. To clarify, W's effect doesn't automatically trigger on R. You still have to cast W to utilize the effect.


Thanks for your review, i'll be making some changes shortly.


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Mytharionas

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Senior Member

04-03-2013

Thou shalt be bumped!


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Col Frogfoot

Member

04-03-2013

Ult is way overpowered


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