The Definitive Guide to Not Being Banned

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Tsaalyo

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Recruiter

11-20-2012

Hello. I have been playing since somewhere around June of 2011. In this time period, I have never been banned, and I have never even been warned. I have been reported with certainty more times than I can count, and no doubt many more than that from reports I didn't know were coming. I have decided to bestow some of my ban-dodging wisdom upon you all.

The best way to not be banned is to not be reported. People will always report you for, heaven forbid, having a bad game. You're not getting banned for intentional feeding unless you've got boots of mobility and five zeals. Look into your pants right now. You will see a hole from which urine flows forth. Don't be one of those, and you won't be banned. But since a definitive guide should have more specifics than that, let's go through a list of common scenarios, and the proper way to deal with them, in a nonbanning way.

Scenarios Involving Your Allies In Other Lanes
1. They didn't call an mia.
Say: "Call mias next time, please."
Do: Ward the river between that lane and yours.
Do: Recognize that map awareness is always your responsibility. Getting ganked by another lane is always partly your fault.
Don't say: "CALL ****ING MIAS USELESS NOOB MEXICAN."
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.

2. Your allies are complaining that you didn't call mia.
Say: "Sorry, I didn't notice."
Say: "Sorry, I thought he was b." <- No excuse, btw. If you think it, say it.
Do: Call mias.
Don't say: "Have map awareness." <- A valid point, but no. Don't say it. Nothing good comes from it. Just call mias.
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.

3. Your allies are getting their asses kicked.
Do: Offer to change lanes if it's still early enough for level differences to not be a factor.
Do: Help by warding their river or bush, if you're the jungler or are close enough, for whatever reason.
Do: Offer advice.
Say: If nothing else, just say nothing.
Don't say: "WHAT THE **** HOW DOES _____ LOSE TO _____ ****ING USELESS HATE ELO HELL."
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.

4. Your jungler/other lane partners are raging at each other and refusing to work with each other, for whatever reason.
Say: "Just focus, guys, we can still win."
Say: "Just play, people."
Say: "Oh my god just shut up and play, we can win, but not if you ***** all game." <- Yes, you can say this, you won't be banned for it if they were saying anything to the effect of "NOT GANKING FOR YOU ANYMORE ****ING FEEDER." "**** U USELESS BR JUNGLR."
Don't say: "OH MY GOD SHUT THE **** UP JESUS **** MY ASS CHRIST."
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.

Scenarios Involving Your Lane Partner
1. Your ADC is not jumping on your attempts to initiate.
Say: "When I do this, try to attack who I'm targeting."
Do: Ping first, and ping with more than half a second of warning. Sometimes, your ADC is four screen inches away lasthitting minions. Good job flashing in and exhausting their ADC, but what did you expect your ally to do to get there?
Don't say: "****ing useless."
Don't say: "Wtf this ****ing ______'s build."
Don't say: "I hate supporting can't carry noobs."
Don't say: "I hope your father gets raped."
Don't: Steal CS.
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.

2. Your ADC keeps getting caught out of place.
Say: "Please play safer and farm."
Say: "My ______ was on CD, sorry."
Say: "Sorry."
Do: Ward their bush if they're using it.
Do: Try to play more aggressively to deter them.
Do: Ward the jungle bush.
Don't say: "****ING STOP OVEREXTENDING NOOB ****."
Don't say: "/all gg ****ing noob team."
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.

3. Your support isn't warding.
Say: "I need wards, ______."
Say: "Yes, I know it's everyone's job to support, but this early game, I need vamp scepter asap."
Say: "Please."
Do: If all else fails, just buy one ward for that jungle bush. I know it hurts your gold, but it hurts a lot less than getting ganked for lack of it.
Don't say: "OH MY ****ING GOD WE NEED ****ING WARDS YOU'RE THE SUPPORT IT IS YOUR ONE AND ONLY PURPOSE **** YOU ELO HELL ALFRED ********."
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.

4. You got ganked because your support didn't ward.
Say: "That's why we need wards. "
Say: Nothing.
Do: Get a ward for the bush.
Don't say: "****ING SEE?! **** ****** NOOB **** ***** PUTA PUTA PERO PUTA."
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.

5. Your support isn't initiating.
Say: "I need you to _____________ a little more." Where the blank details whatever initiate your support has.
Say: "When I ping, try to _____________." Where the blank details whatever initiate your support has.
Do: Just passive farm until you're fed enough to force a fight yourself. It's a little harder, but it can be done. Frankly, if you're as hot **** as you think you are, you should be able to flash in and, say, Condemn their ADC to the wall and nuke, once you've farmed a little.
Don't say: "WHAT THE **** COME ON USELESS **** DON'T JUST ****ING PASSIVE SIT THERE **** **** WHY DID YOU QUEUE ______ IF YOU CAN'T ______ MY DICK IS LONGER THAN YOURS."
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.

6. Your support is bad at initiating, IE Blitz keeps missing his pull, or initiates constantly at the wrong time, to no effect or to even his own death.
Say: Any advice you can give on how to use that initiate and when.
Say: "Sorry."
Say: "I'll ping when I need you to initiate."
Say: "Just play passive for now."
Don't say: "****ING BADDIE."
Don't say: "I WILL **** UP YOUR ASS. TRY TO GRASP THE GRAVITY OF THAT STATEMENT. I AM SPEAKING LITERALLY. I WILL PRESS MY ASS TO YOURS AND I WILL **** INTO YOUR COLON. YOU WILL TRY TO COUNTER****, BUT MY SPHINCTER WILL OVERCOME."
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.

Scenarios Involving Your Jungler
1. Your jungler isn't coming to gank when the enemy is overextended.
Say: "We need a gank."
Say: "They've been overextended for a while, we need help."
Say: "Please."
Do: Ping.
Don't say: "****ING USELESS JUNGLER COME."
Don't say: "**** YOU JUNGLER."
Don't say: "/all What's it like to have an actual jungler?"
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.

2. Your jungler is getting counterjungled hard.
Do: Try to ward the jungle entrance closest to your lane, rather than just the bush.
Do: Try to watch your jungle, and rush in to help if their jungler is in your jungle.
Do: Ping if you see their jungler in your jungle.
Say: "_______ is in our jungle."
Don't say: "USELESS **** JUNGLER WHY ARE YOU SO LOW LEVEL."
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.

3. Your jungler was counterjungling and got caught.
Say: "Ward their jungle if you're going to do that."
Don't say: "WHAT THE **** WERE YOU DOING."
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.

4. You're getting camped hard and your jungler isn't doing anything about it.
Say: "We're getting camped hard please help."
Don't say: "COME THE **** DOWN HERE JESUS USELESS JUNGLER."
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.

Scenarios Involving Late Game Team Fights
1. Your initiator isn't initiating, or is doing it at the horribly wrong time.
Say: "You need to initiate when ________."
Say: "When I ping, ________."
Say: "Please don't initiate when we ping to retreat."
Don't say: "****ING NOOB __________ L2P *****."
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.

2. Your ADC isn't keeping back until your initiators are locking the enemy up.
Say: "Play safer, ______, don't initiate."
Say: "Stay back until they blow their stuns on me."
Don't say: "****ING USELESS ****EATER."
Don't say: "THROW GAME MORE NOOB."
Don't say: "YOU LIKE LITTLE BOYS."
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.

3. You lose a fair teamfight.
Say: "We can't beat them in a group. Ward and let's try to catch them."
Say: "Focus ___________."
Say: "Don't initiate until I ping."
Say: "Defend for now, let them burn baron."
Don't say: "BG noobs wtf."
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.

4. You lose an unfair teamfight.
Say: "We need to stick together, guys."
Say: "____! Please, we're feeding them, stick together!"
Do: Ping the straggler, then the group.
Don't say: "STOP ****ING PASSIVE FARMING JESUS ****."
Don't say: "****ING NOOB SHEEP RAPIST."
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.

5. The bunch of you walked into an ambush.
Say: "Everyone get wards."
Don't say: "****ing support get more wards."
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.

6. Your teammates are getting picked off lategame.
Say: "Stick together."
Say: "Guy it's _____ minutes in, the lane phase is over, please stick together."
Say: "Don't farm that deep without wards."
Don't say: "/all **** free kills bot useless noobs why do I always get the ****ing asstards."
Don't say: "STOP ****ING OVEREXTENDING NOOB FATHER****ER."
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.

Your team lost.
Say: "/all gg"
Say: "Sorry."
Don't say: "/all ****ing noob team"
Don't say: "****** noobs baddies ****eaters uninstall **********s."
Don't: Lose by AFK.
Don't: Lose by throwing game and feeding.

Your team won.
Say: "/all gg"
Say: "/all bg sorry about your _________", where the blank is their feeder or their AFK or their constant DC or their guy who is playing with one hand because he has porn in another window.
Don't say: "/all gg noobs"
Don't say: "/all baddies easy"
Don't say: "/all try harder *****es"
Don't say: "/all AND NOW, ON TO YOUR MOTHER"
Don't say: "/all GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG"
Don't say: "/all GG FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ ZZZZZ"
Don't say: "/all GEEGEE"
Don't: Sell all your stuff for wards in an attempt to mock them. Guess how that looks to a tribunal report.

In General
Things to say: "Sorry." "I'm trying." "Please." "Thanks." "gj." "mia" "nice" "it's alright" "gg".
Things to not say: "Noob" "******" "baddie" "uninstall" "useless" "bg" "ggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggg".
Do: Guard your jungler at the start, even if you're not mid. Yes, amazingly, if the other team tries to invade, mid and jungle cannot defeat 5 enemies. Everyone, get to your jungle and defend.
Do: If you are invaded, immediately go to their red/blue. Do not stick around, do not defend it to the death. If they're at your blue/red, it means they're not at theirs'.
Don't: Double mid or double top or double jungle because you "called it" but your teammate "autolocked" or vice versa.
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.
Don't: AFK.
Don't: Throw game and feed.

And that concludes our lecture for the evening.


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Mpalm

Senior Member

11-20-2012

I've been playing on and off since beta and here's my guide to not getting banned:

Have fun and don't be a ******bag.

Thanks for reading.


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Iustis

Senior Member

11-20-2012

To add, if you know you've been having issues with your computer lately test out in a custom game first in order not to look like you're AFKing or throwing a game partway through.


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ThereRnoIDs

Member

11-20-2012

So long, too lazy to read the whole thing.


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Resolute Riven

Senior Member

11-20-2012

Thanks for the great guide. A lot of it is general manners and being a good teammate overall.


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Tubesteak

Senior Member

11-20-2012

OP is pure golden truth.
Preach on brother.


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pwndabear

Member

11-20-2012

so you're saying we should throw the game and feed and THEN afk


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Geekweezul

This user has referred a friend to League of Legends, click for more information

Senior Member

11-20-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by ThereRnoIDs View Post
So long, too lazy to read the whole thing.
Aren't you the one with a thread about being banned? Maybe you can stop being rude?

Also, OP: Great guide! But, Can you at least add something along the lines of "don't afk" and "don't throw the game and/or feed"?





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;-)


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KimKelley

Senior Member

11-20-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Tsaalyo View Post
Look into your pants right now. You will see a hole from which urine flows forth. Don't be one of those, and you won't be banned. .

Thanks for the advice. I will try very hard to not be a urethra.


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bigdongstudios

Recruiter

11-20-2012

"Don't say: "Have map awareness." <- A valid point, but no. Don't say it. Nothing good comes from it. Just call mias."

While true, please god tell me this is not a bannable comment to say when someone is blaming you for their death.


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