Ladies and gentlemen, Lucian has been released!
I've been waiting for this for some time. After reading Lucian's lore backstory I KNEW I had to write something for him, and so I set to work on another piece of fan fiction featuring him, Senna, and everyone's favorite twisted warden: Thresh. The story of their battle captured my imagination, and since in Lucian's biography it is very much left open WHERE and HOW the battle went down, I decided to accept the challenge of writing out my own impression of the conflict.
I really don't have much else to say about this. So sit back, relax, and enjoy another literary creation from one Summoner to another.
Very well written, clear description of emotions and actions, excellent use of metaphors and similes, interesting dialogue, and good action. My favorite simile out of the whole piece was probably "like a candle in the mist." As well as being another good example of the contrast in your story, it very accurately describes the fact that they were being slowly overcome instead of suddenly overwhelmed and defeated.
There are two spelling errors that I am aware of which I will bold within their sentences below. I will also bold things within other sentences that I personally feel could be changed to improve readability.
The result of his was a blinding flash of light that halted the advance of the rest of the waves and caused the undead who had been at the center of it to dissipate into a pile of ectoplasmic flesh.
Lucian felt no fear as he look at them, and he stamped them back into the dust with the sole of his boot and the light of his weapon.
These are the only spelling errors I saw.
The duo picked them off in droves as they came, and as their numbers dwindled down into the last handfuls it was the Purifiers which went on the offensive; or, to be more specific; Senna did.
Here I think you should substitute 'which' with 'who' since the Purifiers in and of themselves are not one entity (which went) but instead are two individuals (who went).
Bolts flew, dissipating many, but there were still more to be had.
Though I think this is purely a matter of preference, I feel as though you could replace the word "had" with the phrase "dealt with" or replace the phrase "be had" with the word "overcome".
In closing, thank you very much sir or madam for the phenomenal read and I hope others take the time to view this veritable masterpiece.
P.S. I do some writing myself and I'm currently writing a fan-fiction that I intend to be a long story possibly encompassing over one-hundred pages. Needless to say I would love for another writer to take a look at a sample draft and give me some opinions.
P.P.S. How did you go about coming up with the misc. names? E.G. Galvin Marterie, Freddrick Rediech. I seem to take vast amounts of time coming up with names of any sort.
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