Riven's Betrayal

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Rinto

Senior Member

11-14-2012

So many Riven FanFics XD. She does have some really compelling lore that's easy to write about. I was bored today so I drafted this up. Let me know what you think and if you want me to do a take on a particular champion's lore I'd be happy to. Just post the requested champion and how long you want it.



The air thickened with the smell of caustic magic. It drifted like fog across the ground seeking to consume everything that still breathed. Riven sat in a crouching position and tried not to disturb the tree branch beneath her feet. She forced herself not to look down. The faces of enemies and allies alike were already branded in her mind even as they were being eaten away.

Riven dropped to the ground as the strange mist cleared. She sighed with relief and took a deep breath of air.

“It’s gone,” she whispered.

Everything was gone. Nothing was left of her company and the dirt’s red surface was bare of everything but the thickest trees.

Riven spotted her sword close by. It stood untouched where it had fallen and a small cloud of dust rose as she lifted it. The dirt smelled sour. She covered her mouth and held back waves of nausea.

The black blade gleamed happily in the sunlight. Riven’s arms shook, and she felt the sword laughing at her weakness. She clenched her teeth and marched away from the wasteland. Only when dirt became stone and mountains loomed above her did she stop to rest.

It hurt to admit it, but Riven knew that the attack had been Noxian. It was savage even if it was spineless.

Anger burned in her chest as Riven slammed her sword into the stone at her feet. If they sought to dispose of her as an ally then she would meet them as an enemy.

There is a fine line between war and murder, she thought.

She raised what was left of her shattered blade and smiled savagely. And I will put an end to all who have crossed it.


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Frost Archer

Senior Member

11-14-2012

Good! but longer please I like Rivy, she is so awesome. Would you like feedback (concerning grammar, lore, or personal preference)?


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Rinto

Senior Member

11-14-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by FrostArcher024 View Post
Good! but longer please I like Rivy, she is so awesome. Would you like feedback (concerning grammar, lore, or personal preference)?
Hmmm... Lore... Don't know it much XD.

Obviously I took the time to read the basic lore on her champion description, but that's about it. Grammar I don't care much about, but I don't mind if you feel like correcting me.

Personal preference would be great to hear. I love to write, and nothing makes me happier about a piece than someone enjoying it to the fullest. So by all means comment away.

PS: I could make it longer, start a new champ or whatever. Just let me know and I'll throw it up some time tomorrow.


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Frost Archer

Senior Member

11-14-2012

Well, you see. There are fan fictions that are really short, which can by all means be amazing. It's just that we prefer to see as much as what the author writes. (We are rather hungry readers). Most well known and favoured fanfics are often written by people who are serious about their writing. They do vast research before they start, and they make it chapters and chapters long. Just take "The only Truth" by kittytoast. She pretty much has us all eating out of her hands. Everyone is anticipating the next chapter (which for this week should come by friday). I have also given my own shot at it, The Mastery of Doran's Blade (TMoDB for short).
Oh! And love. Never leave out the love. Everyone loves it.
Good luck! I hope to see a nice, long Riven fanfic after this!


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Rinto

Senior Member

11-14-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by FrostArcher024 View Post
Well, you see. There are fan fictions that are really short, which can by all means be amazing. It's just that we prefer to see as much as what the author writes. (We are rather hungry readers). Most well known and favoured fanfics are often written by people who are serious about their writing. They do vast research before they start, and they make it chapters and chapters long. Just take "The only Truth" by kittytoast. She pretty much has us all eating out of her hands. Everyone is anticipating the next chapter (which for this week should come by friday). I have also given my own shot at it, The Mastery of Doran's Blade (TMoDB for short).
Oh! And love. Never leave out the love. Everyone loves it.
Good luck! I hope to see a nice, long Riven fanfic after this!
I agree.

I (for the record) am a serious writer, I just didn't have time for more than that today XD

I like Riven but I'm not sure whether I want to invest in a long term story with her or with another champion. I love her lore, but I don't know if I am connected enough with the champion. Should I make this into something legit (which I could) or should I find a new champ? If you think I should pick a new champ, which one?

I also like starting sentences with I a bit too much... :P


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kittytoast

Senior Member

11-14-2012

Dude/dudette...I'm not even a Riven fan and I have to say, that was totally awesome. I have a feeling, if you keep writing, I will end up liking her. It's so well-written, and it really got across the horror that she had to see. Moar!


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Rinto

Senior Member

11-14-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by kittytoast View Post
Dude/dudette...I'm not even a Riven fan and I have to say, that was totally awesome. I have a feeling, if you keep writing, I will end up liking her. It's so well-written, and it really got across the horror that she had to see. Moar!
Lol. Thank you very much (you and everyone on here so far). I feel bad that half of the comments are mine, but I feel the need to respond to everything XD

I like Riven's lore a lot, so I think I'll continue this as a longer project and post snippets until it's ready.


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JackBeNimbel

Junior Member

11-14-2012

you are so bad, give up on life


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Frost Archer

Senior Member

11-15-2012

^How do I report someone? This is serious. It may not affect this writer, but the attitude can discourage other writers from posting their work.


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Rinto

Senior Member

11-15-2012

Can't "report" someone on the forums. The comment gets hidden if it gets downvoted enough. Honestly I don't care at all. Any criticism without any constructive or relevant opinions is worthless.


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