Would you like to see Zevriel in the league?

Yes 7 38.89%
Yes, but with some tweaks 8 44.44%
No 3 16.67%
Voters: 18. You may not vote on this poll

(Resurrection) Zevriel, The Destroyer of Cities [Void Monster Champion Idea]

123
Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Tubby Bumpikins

Member

08-23-2012

bump


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Tubby Bumpikins

Member

08-24-2012

bump =S


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Tubby Bumpikins

Member

09-04-2012

Bump


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Tubby Bumpikins

Member

09-07-2012

bump


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Void22

Senior Member

09-07-2012

How big is ten range exactly?


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Tubby Bumpikins

Member

09-08-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by Void22 View Post
How big is ten range exactly?
most melee range is 125-175 if I remember correctly


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

ploki122

Senior Member

09-09-2012

I come here to review your concept as a Council member. However, please understand that all views expressed in my feedback are mine alone. Also, while my review might seem a bit harsh, I think that sometimes being blunt is actually better. I do however find your concept interesting, otherwise I would've left this one to Flames (hehehe).

Quote:
Originally Posted by Änya Älstreim View Post
name: Zevriel
Archetype: Demon
Tags: Fighter, Disabler

Lore: Zevriel is a being from deep within the the void, his presence is no longer known to the world but in ancient times he was used as a tool of destruction. Each time he is summoned it is as though he is directly torn from his world to be brought to this, when he leaves his home he becomes enraged destroying all in his path until the deed he was summoned to do is destroyed. Most commonly to summon Zevriel required a sacrifice, and he woul topple any city or castle that lay before him. Having gained his name Zevriel the destroyer of cities, because of his relentless attacks that could never be stopped... No matter the army nor the being put before him.

A small tribe north of Icathia hidden deep in the mountains were the last with the knowledge of Zevriel, and they turned their attention toward a force that would soon threaten their sacred world. Their preistess foretold of a twisted and cruel kingdom that would ravage their lands if they did not act, so they dispatched a scout to see what threat lay North of them. The scout entered Noxus and saw nothing but corruption and greed, he continued farther north towards Zaun and began seeing corruption turn to utter insanity.

Upon the scout's return the news of the monsters to the north spread fast throughout the tribe and the elders had gathered. A meeting held to decide what weapon to be unleashed upon them, A bringer of plague would only be turned against another people by the Noxians, A carrier of death would not send a strong enough message for other's to heed. A bringer of destruction would be the only true terror that this menace could not face.

The preistess, a maiden pure of heart and a small escort of warriors were sent out to begin the ritual far enough away from the village so destruction would not befall them in his awakening, Preparing the circle for a destroyers arrival requires a large enough feild to lay out the stones. The maiden placed at the southern most edge and the preistess in the direction of the threat, A soldier to slit the maidens throat to allow the blood to cover the rune stones before her. A tremor shook throughout the land, as he stood the ground gave to him little by little as his weight was not meant for this world.

"Great destroyer what be-eth your name?" The preistess cried out.

"Zevriel is the name this world gave me..."

"Crush the Corruption to the north and stop once you have hit the sea!"

Zevriel began his march upon Noxus but the Institute of war had already been alerted to his presence, they dispatched their mightiest warriors and summoners to subdue this threat to Valoran. Champions were overwhelmed by his sheer might even a void creature such as cho'gath was no match for this monstrosity. But the chapions were not there to subdue him, only to stall him so that the summoner's may trap him... As he was nearing the walls of Noxus swinging his giant hand down upon the city the Summoners began entrapping him within an elemental prison. As his hand began to collide with the buildings below it slowed to a halt once the summoner's finnally trapped him, and shrunk him down to a safe to transport size.

Upon questioning they learned he could not return to the void until his mission was complete, thusly began his eternal imprisonment and induction into the league.
A little thing that irked me is the fact that the lore was very long for little to no information... The first paragraph had a very nice intro to his person for a 2-3 paragraph bio, but then it went downhill and you started relating a story featuring him as the main character instead of one ABOUT him... What I usually look for in a lore isn't what he's able to do, but what he is and why...

Quote:
Appearance: Concept Idea attached below
Not sure where you got that one from, but if you are the one who created it, please bear my child...
Quote:
(Passive) Titan
Zevriel grows 1 size stack for every non-basic 500 health or 30 damage Granting an additional 10 range on q,w,e. Can only stack 10 times.
While the concept is very interesting, it might be a bit weak depending on what you mean by it... If you mean that the AoEs' radius are 10 units bigger, this one is nice, if you mean that the cast range is 10u bigger, this is really useless... Also, you might want to replace "non-basic" by "bonus".
Quote:
[Q] Four Arm Smash
15/14/13/12/11 Fury
Cooldown 10/9.75/9.5/9.25/9 secs
Zevriel takes all four of his arm and smashes the ground cracking it for 50(+45/50/55/65/70% of additional Attack Damage as damage) causing a blast zone (300 distance) and slows for 20% for 1/1.1/1.2/1.3/1.4 Seconds. If Zevriel Has 8 or more size stacks He Knocks up enemies around him (150 Distance). When Zevriel Is in his demons Rage instead of slowing, any opponent not directly beside Zevriel is pulled to him.Causing a teraform effect for 0.1/0.2/0.3 Sec
First of all, what is a teraform effect? Next, I really don't see why you would make the scaling get higher with ranks but leave the base as-is... Right now, the ability scales better with items than ranks, and since you're meant to build tanky, this will most probably end up terribly weak. Otherwise, a 20% slow for 1.5s is very negligible end game... Even more considered that it is affected by tenacity. I would suggest raising the duration a bit and making the slow and/or the time scale (and more than 0.1 per rank)
Quote:
[W] Grab and Slam
12/12/11/11/10 Fury
Cooldown 11/10.9/10.8/10.7/10.6 secs
Zevriel charges in a line (600 Distance) grabing the first enemy and slaming them into the ground for 80(+ 100/110/120/130/150% of additional Physical attack power as physical damage) the slam counts as being knocked up for .3 secs.If Zevriel Has 8 or more size stacks he can grab 2 Opponents (200 distance). If Demons Rage is Active the target/Targets is stunned for 1/1.25/1.5 secs after knock up effect.
Well, this is the best moment to plug the thing I find the most awkward in this design, the fury system... First of all, the innate should mention the rate at which you gain/lose it since it is different for all 3 users right now... Nest, all fury users up to now have no ability costs but one or more of their abilities get enhanced by it (the exception being Shyv, whose ult takes a full bar and depletes it slowly).Basically, the fury system's goal is to limit its efficiency when the user isn't committing to a fight... either you go all in and get full (or better at least) effect, or you simply poke with reduced effect. Right now, we have a gap closer (since you're a tanky dps, that would most probably used as an initiate) that requires fury to cast... So you need fury to initiate, but you need to initiate to get fury...
Onto the actual ability, first of all, you should choose to either make the cdr scale or not. Don't give it a 3.6% reduction over 4 ranks, it'll give a false impression of gaining a benefit... Also, once again, only the scaling get higher with ranks, this goes against his role imo and is the exact opposite of what Riot does usually. Lastly, I really like how you made it so that upon reaching X stacks, there is an additional effect, who makes sense )I know I forgot to mention it for Q, but it applies to Q/W/E).
Quote:
[E] Demonic Challenge
13/13/12/12/11 Fury
Cooldown 16/15.75/15.5/15.25/15 secs
Zevriel chooses a champion (200 distance) who is then taunted for .5/1/.15/.2/2.5 seconds . If Zevriel has 8 or more size stacks he gains a sheild based on 30% of his health. If Demons Rage is Active Zevriel gains a sheild based on 70% of his Attack Damage.Shield lasts 4/4.5/5/5.5/6 Seconds.
First of all, I really think that the shield is a bit too strong right now... With only 4k hp, you can gain a 1.2k health shield growing to ~1.3k-1.4k with ADs in... So basically, being tanky offers more than ulting, this is wrong imo. Otherwise, I love the ability and think that it could use a slightly higher base taunt duration (without raising the max too much... from having played as and against Rammus, 3s taunt is unfun...)
Quote:
[Ult] The Demons Rage
20/25/30 Fury 1.5/3/4.5 Fury per second after Lasts until fury runs out or 10 Seconds is up
Cooldown 115/110/105 secs
Zevriel enrages himself granting him 2/3/4% health regen, 20/30/40 damage which counts as additional damage for abilities, 100/200/300 health. If Zevriel has 8 or more size Stacks he deals Damage over time Fire damage on Targets around him everytime he attacks (circle 200 Range) based on 3% of his health.
There are a few unclear things in here, first, I guess that by 2/3/4% Health regen, you mean % of max HP, next is it HP/5 or HP/second? Otherwise, I love how you made the damage scale on his AS instead of AD... It would actually make the first Tanky/AS champion (however, you'd have to modify his innate to reduces the incentives to build AD since right now AD is still more viable than AP). Next, I think that the cooldown might be a bit high considering that this isn't really a game-changing ult like fiddle's or Galio's... It is a self buff (pretty strong, but still) that offers a little more utility. Otherwise, I feel like it's ok concept-wise.
Quote:
Base stats:
Health: ()()()(Strong
Attack: ()()()() Strong
Spells: ( weak
Difficulty Unsure

Stats: Subject to change
Health: 500 (+80/lvl – 1940 by lvl 18) fine imo
Fury: Max 100 ok
AD: 53 (+3/lvl – 107 total by lvl 18) this definitely isn't 8/10... level 18 AD goes from 90 to 130 and 45 to 60 at level 1
AS: 0.60 (+0.020/lvl – 0.96 by lvl 18) 3rd lowest at level 1, mid-rank at level 18
Ap:0 o rly? lol
Armor: 25 (+1.4/lvl - 50 by lvl 18) lvl1 range from 10 to 23 right now, and caps at 61-90... so you would start with the best armor and ends with the worst
MR: 25 (+1.4/lvl - 50 by lvl 18) the 3 values that currently exists is 30+0, 30+1.25 or 30+0.75 (the latest being Kayle and Nid)
Movement: 300
Range: 125 base, 200 at 10 stacks
I would recommend DarkPercy's guide to base stats for your future concepts
Quote:
Playing as Champion
Zevriel is a demon, build him with health and attack damage balance, building some attack speed items like wits end against magic users is also really useful. Using grab and slam on an opponent near your turret when they are trying to finish off your ally will buy them the precious time they need to run away. Using Demons challenge in a team battle will take the heat off your squishy damagers, slaming the ground in a creep swarm is really useful when in demons rage wih a sunfire cape will also allow you to do more damage against fleeing enemies.He is a Fury champion so he does need to hit his enemies otherwise he won't be very useful.

Recommended Items

Boots of swiftness
Warmogs
Atma's Impaler
Sunfire Cape
Frozen Mallet
Blood Thirster
Funny thing, you have 0 AS items like you suggested... Also, recommended usually start with Doran and includes only 3-4 non-upgradeable items.


If you desire more help there are people on Live in the "ChampConcepts" chat room that are always looking to help designers. I, myself, also frequent this room if you have more questions.

Otherwise aid will always be given to those that ask for it, and other resources can be found at the Council Main thread.


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Tubby Bumpikins

Member

09-10-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by ploki122 View Post
I come here to review your concept as a Council member. However, please understand that all views expressed in my feedback are mine alone. Also, while my review might seem a bit harsh, I think that sometimes being blunt is actually better. I do however find your concept interesting, otherwise I would've left this one to Flames (hehehe).



A little thing that irked me is the fact that the lore was very long for little to no information... The first paragraph had a very nice intro to his person for a 2-3 paragraph bio, but then it went downhill and you started relating a story featuring him as the main character instead of one ABOUT him... What I usually look for in a lore isn't what he's able to do, but what he is and why...


Not sure where you got that one from, but if you are the one who created it, please bear my child...

While the concept is very interesting, it might be a bit weak depending on what you mean by it... If you mean that the AoEs' radius are 10 units bigger, this one is nice, if you mean that the cast range is 10u bigger, this is really useless... Also, you might want to replace "non-basic" by "bonus".

First of all, what is a teraform effect? Next, I really don't see why you would make the scaling get higher with ranks but leave the base as-is... Right now, the ability scales better with items than ranks, and since you're meant to build tanky, this will most probably end up terribly weak. Otherwise, a 20% slow for 1.5s is very negligible end game... Even more considered that it is affected by tenacity. I would suggest raising the duration a bit and making the slow and/or the time scale (and more than 0.1 per rank)

Well, this is the best moment to plug the thing I find the most awkward in this design, the fury system... First of all, the innate should mention the rate at which you gain/lose it since it is different for all 3 users right now... Nest, all fury users up to now have no ability costs but one or more of their abilities get enhanced by it (the exception being Shyv, whose ult takes a full bar and depletes it slowly).Basically, the fury system's goal is to limit its efficiency when the user isn't committing to a fight... either you go all in and get full (or better at least) effect, or you simply poke with reduced effect. Right now, we have a gap closer (since you're a tanky dps, that would most probably used as an initiate) that requires fury to cast... So you need fury to initiate, but you need to initiate to get fury...
Onto the actual ability, first of all, you should choose to either make the cdr scale or not. Don't give it a 3.6% reduction over 4 ranks, it'll give a false impression of gaining a benefit... Also, once again, only the scaling get higher with ranks, this goes against his role imo and is the exact opposite of what Riot does usually. Lastly, I really like how you made it so that upon reaching X stacks, there is an additional effect, who makes sense )I know I forgot to mention it for Q, but it applies to Q/W/E).

First of all, I really think that the shield is a bit too strong right now... With only 4k hp, you can gain a 1.2k health shield growing to ~1.3k-1.4k with ADs in... So basically, being tanky offers more than ulting, this is wrong imo. Otherwise, I love the ability and think that it could use a slightly higher base taunt duration (without raising the max too much... from having played as and against Rammus, 3s taunt is unfun...)

There are a few unclear things in here, first, I guess that by 2/3/4% Health regen, you mean % of max HP, next is it HP/5 or HP/second? Otherwise, I love how you made the damage scale on his AS instead of AD... It would actually make the first Tanky/AS champion (however, you'd have to modify his innate to reduces the incentives to build AD since right now AD is still more viable than AP). Next, I think that the cooldown might be a bit high considering that this isn't really a game-changing ult like fiddle's or Galio's... It is a self buff (pretty strong, but still) that offers a little more utility. Otherwise, I feel like it's ok concept-wise.

I would recommend DarkPercy's guide to base stats for your future concepts

Funny thing, you have 0 AS items like you suggested... Also, recommended usually start with Doran and includes only 3-4 non-upgradeable items.


If you desire more help there are people on Live in the "ChampConcepts" chat room that are always looking to help designers. I, myself, also frequent this room if you have more questions.

Otherwise aid will always be given to those that ask for it, and other resources can be found at the Council Main thread.
Thank you it's been a really long time since I had a major overhaul done on him and the last time he was updated for the newer items and ways that champions are made was early to mid 2011 I beleive. and I think the attack speed part was from when he still had a passive that stunned every # of hits. I think

and no I did not draw that


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Tubby Bumpikins

Member

09-11-2012

Quote:
Originally Posted by ploki122 View Post
I

A little thing that irked me is the fact that the lore was very long for little to no information... The first paragraph had a very nice intro to his person for a 2-3 paragraph bio, but then it went downhill and you started relating a story featuring him as the main character instead of one ABOUT him... What I usually look for in a lore isn't what he's able to do, but what he is and why...
I fixed it, I hope it works better, his lore before was even worse sadly...


Quote:
Originally Posted by ploki122 View Post
I

While the concept is very interesting, it might be a bit weak depending on what you mean by it... If you mean that the AoEs' radius are 10 units bigger, this one is nice, if you mean that the cast range is 10u bigger, this is really useless... Also, you might want to replace "non-basic" by "bonus".
Fixed and I meant both range and aoe distance, and I added in a use for furry since furry was still a new concept back then.


Quote:
Originally Posted by ploki122 View Post
I

First of all, what is a teraform effect? Next, I really don't see why you would make the scaling get higher with ranks but leave the base as-is... Right now, the ability scales better with items than ranks, and since you're meant to build tanky, this will most probably end up terribly weak. Otherwise, a 20% slow for 1.5s is very negligible end game... Even more considered that it is affected by tenacity. I would suggest raising the duration a bit and making the slow and/or the time scale (and more than 0.1 per rank)


.
Teraform effect is what Jarvan's ult creates, it would creat a nuisance for a second for anyone just outside of the pull range while they were trying to chase your allies. At that time I was still used to idiots who take someone with ad ratio's ad just breaking them by stacking Bloodthirster's etc. although I do not play ranked since I enjoy casual gaming rather than dedicated. so I've changed it, hope it works better. slow's been changed.


Quote:
Originally Posted by ploki122 View Post
I

Well, this is the best moment to plug the thing I find the most awkward in this design, the fury system... First of all, the innate should mention the rate at which you gain/lose it since it is different for all 3 users right now... Nest, all fury users up to now have no ability costs but one or more of their abilities get enhanced by it (the exception being Shyv, whose ult takes a full bar and depletes it slowly).Basically, the fury system's goal is to limit its efficiency when the user isn't committing to a fight... either you go all in and get full (or better at least) effect, or you simply poke with reduced effect. Right now, we have a gap closer (since you're a tanky dps, that would most probably used as an initiate) that requires fury to cast... So you need fury to initiate, but you need to initiate to get fury...
Onto the actual ability, first of all, you should choose to either make the cdr scale or not. Don't give it a 3.6% reduction over 4 ranks, it'll give a false impression of gaining a benefit... Also, once again, only the scaling get higher with ranks, this goes against his role imo and is the exact opposite of what Riot does usually. Lastly, I really like how you made it so that upon reaching X stacks, there is an additional effect, who makes sense )I know I forgot to mention it for Q, but it applies to Q/W/E).

changed it to no cost. I raised the scaling to total and the reason why it was attack damage scaling is it used to be a true damage ability.


Quote:
Originally Posted by ploki122 View Post
I

First of all, I really think that the shield is a bit too strong right now... With only 4k hp, you can gain a 1.2k health shield growing to ~1.3k-1.4k with ADs in... So basically, being tanky offers more than ulting, this is wrong imo. Otherwise, I love the ability and think that it could use a slightly higher base taunt duration (without raising the max too much... from having played as and against Rammus, 3s taunt is unfun...)

I lowered the sheilding power which should help, and increased the base taunt time without increasing the max at all.


Quote:
Originally Posted by ploki122 View Post
I

There are a few unclear things in here, first, I guess that by 2/3/4% Health regen, you mean % of max HP, next is it HP/5 or HP/second? Otherwise, I love how you made the damage scale on his AS instead of AD... It would actually make the first Tanky/AS champion (however, you'd have to modify his innate to reduces the incentives to build AD since right now AD is still more viable than AP). Next, I think that the cooldown might be a bit high considering that this isn't really a game-changing ult like fiddle's or Galio's... It is a self buff (pretty strong, but still) that offers a little more utility. Otherwise, I feel like it's ok concept-wise.
should all be okay now I hope :S



Quote:
Originally Posted by ploki122 View Post

I would recommend DarkPercy's guide to base stats for your future concepts
I kind of winged the stats for the most part originally...

Quote:
Originally Posted by ploki122 View Post
Funny thing, you have 0 AS items like you suggested... Also, recommended usually start with Doran and includes only 3-4 non-upgradeable items.


Those suggestable item's better? I personally don't use a Doran's item unless it's Cassiopeia or Caitlyn, otherwise everything else is an item to build into an actually useful item, and I don't do dorans stacking either... waste of money in my opinion


Comment below rating threshold, click here to show it.

Tubby Bumpikins

Member

09-11-2012

bump


123