I actually really like this idea. It seems pretty balanced seeing as he has to be in melee range for most of his moves, and one of his main moves (his Q) is meant to counterplay people giving chase with ghost or something, I especially like how you made the damage increase based on movement speed as well (after all a schiltron is like a phalanx correct? so it would only make sense people rushing them would only hurt themselves on the spears). Very cool concept and I would like to see you work on it some more. I can only think of a slight addition to his Q.
Considering it is similar to a phalanx like manuever why don't you decrease the base damage slightly and instead make it quickly summon two ghosts (one of either side of him) when he casts it to make a very small spear wall. After all a 300 like defensive move would be silly without bros wouldn't it? You would probably have to drop the knock up effect for the ghosts but overall it would still fulfill its function, and be somewhat useful for teamfights or countering chasers.
Lol yeah poet nailed it with that comment, it deffinatly brought a smile to my face.
I'm gald you understand the passive perfectly. It totally scales with AD and attack speed. As well as synergizing with his many steroid abilities. This passive isn't for lane, isn't for poke, isn't for utility - it's pure carry auto attacking for an entire team fight.
Q- yeah I have been thinking about the scaling of this ability for a long time. I really want to keep it based on their MS because it fights both themeatically and practically so well. I think I will be removing the AD scaling altogether. I will find a way to make it scale normally into all stages of the game...I don't think it will be too difficult, as MS tends to be within 330 to 400. Perhaps basing it off of base MS would elaminate some problems. I will work on this.
W- Exactly, ou can activate it - so you don't need to close the gap - but if they do, then your getting free Dps. I was designing Legion as an Adc counter pick to heavy melee or diving teams. So this spell gives him a fighting chance against strong bruisers who want to get up in face.
E- Thanks, I am actually going to refine this spell a little bit, the wording on how it works and I think swapping the slow for extra amour pen on the ghost spears do if you correctly guess an opponates direction with the drag you can really shred their resist.
R - Haha I will have to look at building him as a top initiator. Yeah I mostly wanted to give him the ability to reposition during team fights with the this. I hope that comes across clearly. I might reword it a bit.
Skins might come after dialog. Both of which I consider bonus material (I focus on abilities numbers and lore first).
Thanks for the review!
Thanks for stopping by. I am currently thinking of ways to maintain the damage based on MS, without letting it get out of hand.
I really like your idea and i will tell that what you said is exactly what i had in mind, originally it was his ultimate, and he did summon a whole group to stand with him, but i liked the ability so much i moved it to Q, because i think it would be really, really fun to use in game more often then an ult gets used, making it more usable and less worrisome if you missed the timing made it more enjoyable i think.
An ult version would be very cool though, i imagined making a V around him to stop anyone charging him while he could fire from behind it.
Thanks again for posting.
Passive - Disciplined - Legion is nothing if not disciplined, he can focus his attention so greatly that when his abilities are on cool down he gains critical strike chance. Legion gains 8% critical strike for each ability on cooldown.
This is a stat boost that lets Legion really make the most of an attack damage build. Like all good abilities it does not come without a trade off, there will be times when Legion players will feel pressure to use up abilities to proc this passive, often before the ideal time to actually have the ability up. Its a balance between adding the extra damage, or saving a spell that could save your life.
I really like this passive it adds situational play which I am all for see my champions if you don't believe me. The reason I do this is because I myself make champions from a player point of view, I might not be the best but from what I have seen on this forum the majority of the players aren't that good at the game that are taking part in this hobby. and to me personally when they tell me I am bad at making champs I might of just started but I don't necessarily see how they are all that good when they don't even comprehend the basics of the game they are making these fantasy champions for. ok but enough rambling cool passive Thumbs up.
ps: I like how you over-viewed the ability after I like that so people reading can get a better sense of what you were going for, but I also feel it would be unneeded if you took out some of the unnecessary text in the first part "Legion is nothing if not disciplined, he can focus his attention so greatly that " how about when his abilities are on cooldown X does y. then if you want to add the random text make it on the very bottom like riot does for champ select and put the brief overview there that's my opinion at least, since I am an ability/number guy I want to get to the point not beat around the bush.
Q - Schiltron - As long as Legion is facing his target he can brace his javelin into the ground, impaling the next enemy to come within melee range. On cast Legion prepares his javelin for 2 seconds, as long as he is facing them, the next enemy to come within melee range (140) takes 60/95/130/165/200 (+0.5 ad) and 20/30/40/50/60% of their movement speed as physical damage, is knocked up for 0.5 second and slowed by 30% for 2 seconds afterwards.
Costs - 75 mana
Cooldown - 18/16/14/12/10 seconds
Range - Self
This spell keeps those melee dps on their toes, it is also his major utility spell. It is strong, but very defensive in nature - except- with good planning, this is a great spell to use on enemies face checking the brush, especially when combined with his W. plus how cool is it to damage someone based on how fast they ran into your spear?
I really like this ability since he is a ranged champ allowing him to have a mechanic to deal with his counter IE the bruiser most of the time bruisers that jump are the problem however people like garen can be easily kited with ranged champions. So kudo's on the idea, however I feel even though my lack of knowledge of coding is minimal I imagine this would be a nightmare to code. I would suggest making this a point to click spell there is no reason not to since you have to click to activate it and from every other champion in game I would have to assume you wouldn't be able to attack during this time, unless you made it something like jaxes dodge spell, but I honestly feel just making it a click on would be the best option in my opinion.
ps: It seems a tad OP I feel like your adding to much to this spell that should be rather simple to tell what it does. Keep the knock up, or make it a snare like Leona's since knock ups cant really only be .5 sec due to the animation, well not like Leona's but I just meant the .5 sec part. Keep the first slow or turn the second slow into the first so that it is slowing after the snare/stun, but definitely don't keep both slows.
W - Last Defence - Passive - Legions many consciousnesses remember the desperation of their last stand well. Legion gains up to 20/25/30/35/40% attack speed and 15/17.5/20/22.5/25% bonus Armour as enemies come closer in range. (From 550 to 125 range)
Active - Legion can double his passive attack speed increase for all his attacks for 4 seconds.
Costs - 50 mana
Cooldown - 20/18/16/14/12 seconds
Range - Self
Another steroid, useful for up close, pairs great with Q. Same as most good carries, not super strong on its own, but with good items, deadly. This is risk/rewards, get closer, get more deadly, but also more vulnerable. Legion does not have the stats of a melee and would quickly wither in the middle of a teamfight. It also gives him a chance against assassins and bruisers who want to get up in his face.
Okay so similar to graves in the sense he gets tanky, and has an attack speed active.
E - Pilum - Legion fires a skill shot spear throw that does not hit enemy minions. Legion hurls his pilum at target location dealing 65/105/145/185/225 (+0.8 ad) physical damage and reducing targets armour by 5/10/15/20/25. As he casts ghost legionnaires materialize around him, and throw their pila in a delayed line extending from the final location of Legions (click and drag like rumble ult or viktor), all enemies hit receive 35/55/75/95/110 (+0.4) physical damage and are slowed by 12% for 2 seconds.
Costs - 60/70/80/90/100 Mana
Cooldown - 12/11/10/9/8 seconds
Range - 650 (drag line is 250 long)
This is his main poke as it will out range his auto attack damage. It is also a useful debuff to increase his damage. Will not be spamable unless he rushes mana/mana regen, and then it loses its damage. Potentially, this spell will work like karthus Q where he throws it up and it hits the ground damaging a small area after .50 seconds. Undecided as of now
Seems rather interesting I myself have been working on a few spells similar to this, so Kudos. So I saw the comparison's but still a little bit foggy. does the number of guys materializing matter, is their a way to get more or less and like rumble and victor? i don't understand because victors hits and area and when you move it the damage is moving doesn't keep hitting where it started, unlike rumble where it keeps hitting because its technically not moving.
R - Centurion - The collective psyche that is Legion redoubles its efforts reforming Legion into their lost Centurion for 6/8/10 seconds (+2 seconds for each kill or assist while active), he gains 20% movespeed, and 20/30/40 bonus AD. While active, 1/2/3 of Legions ghost companions form up around him. Legion can reactivate this ability up to 1/2/3 additional times, causing him to stealth for 0.75 seconds and one ghost charges to land one melee auto attack at the nearest enemy champion (cannot crit). (Attacks against the same target do 33% less damage each time.)
Cooldown - 120/100/80 seconds
Costs - 100/110/120 mana
Range - Self (Ghosts same as auto attack)
This is his marquee moment. I imagine he grows a bit in size and gains some swirling black winds. His helmet gets a Crest and he looks more held together. Basically he gets stronger in combat. It should let him get in close enough to get the most out of his W, and help him survive team fights as he can re-position very briefly after taking damage. Here is the idea with the ghosts, either - you stand and fight, in which case when they attack you you get a free hit when your ghost attacks, the stealth is cancelled by you attacking, and all goes on as it was. OR, when you get attacked, your ghost charges in, you stealth briefly and reposition, dealing less damage over all, but possibly saving your life in a team fight. The ghosts are only as good as your auto attacks, Legion is all about auto attacks (carry).
I like this idea, I got some concepts with this divide/multiply feature, but I feel it could be executed better and more effectively. Maybe something like instead of the stealth, make them do a fraction of your damage, and be able to cast your spells too, make the charges or how ever it work like a normal ult, and compare it to a medium to low ult cd example talon, its rather low, and is up for ever fight pretty much, or think of something else more unique I just feel this could be a lot better personally
I found this champion to be rather interesting, I myself have always been a big fan of Rome, and plenty of other empires. However I found several issues with this champion that I am going to quickly point out. He is a ranged ad carry, has a anti bruiser spell in his q slot I would suggest swapping it to be in a proper spell order, this is a minimal suggestion not necessary Since this is really your only escape tool maybe make this an aoe in comparison to graves or singed pool. His w is fine in its spell position offers a steroid for as and armor which is always helpful. His e is his horas spell so I would make this his q like most champs have. His R needs reworked in my eyes as of now it kind of gives him the bit more of escape-ability/mobility, but I don't feel this is where this champion should get it, nor do I think it makes sense for a legion/centurion to go stealthed, maybe try to make something that helps balance out his kit for his w in the sense of mobility/escape-ability, or make his ult something that goes better with the theme.
Overall I really enjoyed this concept, and hope to see it progress and keep updating
PS: Just realized I knew something was off this was it Your name title and ult really don't make sense. Brief Definition: A Legion is a group of soldiers. A Centurion is a professional Officer so he commanded the Legion if you will. So like I said this doesn't make sense Suggestion Legionnaire: The Last of the Legion R: Centurion: Ranks up to a Centurion granting him a Legion. So there ya go now it makes more sense, try to do research when using things from real life/history to get the facts straight.
Thanks fir the review!, i'll go through your points -
WOW! I figured it had something to do with many souls in one body (his name is Legion, after all), but you pulled it off better than I expected. This reminds me of a short story concept I started a while back (I guess great minds think alike ). I did have some questions though....
For his Q: how long does it last after activated? If you were thinking until an enemy triggers it, I think there has to be a time limit. Say, 6 seconds? Also, from the way the ability is described, it makes it sound like he should be rooted during the ability. I don't see anything that says so, but that still kinda irks me. :P I do agree that a gap-closer would make this more effective.
Since his weapon is a javelin (which, by nature has some reach to it), you could easily get away with increasing the trigger range to 200 or even 250. That might help it quite a bit.
Just so we're clear, does the passive on his W trigger for any enemy (incl. minions and monsters)? No complaint, just wanted to make sure.
I don't have anything negative to say about his E and Q. Really like those ideas and how they incorporate the army of souls inside him.
I can really see this guy wrecking havoc with the Brutalizer, Bloodthirster, and Manamune (to keep his Mana up). I'll check out your other champs later man. Peace!
Putting together a contest let me know what you think.
Plans for the Ult. I have been trying to simplify my Champions kits. Legions Ult is a bit complicated. What do you guys think about something more like - On cast Legion sends a ghost/clone of himself to the last target he attacked it charges to them dealing attack damage then dissipates. Meanwhile Legion stealths for x seconds. Can be recast x/x/x times.
Allows him to reposition deals some damage. might deal some extra or deal it in magic or something.
Just more simple then the existing.
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